Anonymous
Post 10/13/2021 12:48     Subject: DH works long hours for meager pay

OP, is your husband struggling to complete his assignments/ having a hard time with time management?

If he has difficulty completing tasks, he is probably ashamed and depressed. Perhaps feels lucky he has not been fired which might mean he has a totally different perception of what is going on that is self-involved/self-pitying. Might be worth bringing some compassion to the conversation w DH to see what is really going on... not to say that you should be doing everything or that any of this is ok for you...
Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 11:24     Subject: DH works long hours for meager pay

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you lost me completely with 7pm. I actually laughed.


7:00pm? I NEVER get home anywhere near that early. And then I bring my laptop home to do more work.

How much do you make?


Stop asking people this question. It is literally none of your business and it makes zero difference. If a working person is not home with their kids either physically or if they're there, they aren't mentally present, it does not matter how much money you earn because it doesn't replace the misery of the situation with happiness.

Sometimes it’s worth it in the now the create a better life for the future. It’s not worth it for a dead-end job with no chance for growth or advancement, but it could be worth it in other cases.


No. It's not worth it. You clearly have zero 1st hand experience of this situation and that's why you can't provide specific examples of what makes it worth it. Because it isn't.


Exactly. How much the poster makes is none of your business and totally misses the point. I’m a trial lawyer at DOJ. I work long hours and then take my laptop home for more work. I’m a GS-15. Some may consider that a lot of money, some may not. But it’s what a trial lawyer must do.

…then why do you do it?
Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 11:09     Subject: DH works long hours for meager pay

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you lost me completely with 7pm. I actually laughed.


7:00pm? I NEVER get home anywhere near that early. And then I bring my laptop home to do more work.

How much do you make?


Stop asking people this question. It is literally none of your business and it makes zero difference. If a working person is not home with their kids either physically or if they're there, they aren't mentally present, it does not matter how much money you earn because it doesn't replace the misery of the situation with happiness.

Sometimes it’s worth it in the now the create a better life for the future. It’s not worth it for a dead-end job with no chance for growth or advancement, but it could be worth it in other cases.


No. It's not worth it. You clearly have zero 1st hand experience of this situation and that's why you can't provide specific examples of what makes it worth it. Because it isn't.


Exactly. How much the poster makes is none of your business and totally misses the point. I’m a trial lawyer at DOJ. I work long hours and then take my laptop home for more work. I’m a GS-15. Some may consider that a lot of money, some may not. But it’s what a trial lawyer must do.
Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 11:04     Subject: DH works long hours for meager pay

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you lost me completely with 7pm. I actually laughed.


7:00pm? I NEVER get home anywhere near that early. And then I bring my laptop home to do more work.

How much do you make?


Stop asking people this question. It is literally none of your business and it makes zero difference. If a working person is not home with their kids either physically or if they're there, they aren't mentally present, it does not matter how much money you earn because it doesn't replace the misery of the situation with happiness.

Sometimes it’s worth it in the now the create a better life for the future. It’s not worth it for a dead-end job with no chance for growth or advancement, but it could be worth it in other cases.


No. It's not worth it. You clearly have zero 1st hand experience of this situation and that's why you can't provide specific examples of what makes it worth it. Because it isn't.

Tell that to the Big Law people.
Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 10:06     Subject: DH works long hours for meager pay

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you lost me completely with 7pm. I actually laughed.


7:00pm? I NEVER get home anywhere near that early. And then I bring my laptop home to do more work.

How much do you make?


Stop asking people this question. It is literally none of your business and it makes zero difference. If a working person is not home with their kids either physically or if they're there, they aren't mentally present, it does not matter how much money you earn because it doesn't replace the misery of the situation with happiness.

Sometimes it’s worth it in the now the create a better life for the future. It’s not worth it for a dead-end job with no chance for growth or advancement, but it could be worth it in other cases.


No. It's not worth it. You clearly have zero 1st hand experience of this situation and that's why you can't provide specific examples of what makes it worth it. Because it isn't.
Anonymous
Post 10/11/2021 09:46     Subject: Re:DH works long hours for meager pay

The first step should be couples counseling, because the underlying issue is your frustration that he doesn't see the problems in the situation that you do. You can't make him live his life the way you want, but you can ask him to partner with you so that you live your lives compassionately with each other. There are many different solutions to your current issues but you feel like you're the only one doing the sacrificing and that's not a solution. You need to figure out how you can both compromise and sacrifice for a better life for all of you.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2021 18:30     Subject: DH works long hours for meager pay

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you lost me completely with 7pm. I actually laughed.


7:00pm? I NEVER get home anywhere near that early. And then I bring my laptop home to do more work.

How much do you make?


Stop asking people this question. It is literally none of your business and it makes zero difference. If a working person is not home with their kids either physically or if they're there, they aren't mentally present, it does not matter how much money you earn because it doesn't replace the misery of the situation with happiness.

Sometimes it’s worth it in the now the create a better life for the future. It’s not worth it for a dead-end job with no chance for growth or advancement, but it could be worth it in other cases.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2021 18:19     Subject: DH works long hours for meager pay

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you lost me completely with 7pm. I actually laughed.


7:00pm? I NEVER get home anywhere near that early. And then I bring my laptop home to do more work.

How much do you make?


Stop asking people this question. It is literally none of your business and it makes zero difference. If a working person is not home with their kids either physically or if they're there, they aren't mentally present, it does not matter how much money you earn because it doesn't replace the misery of the situation with happiness.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2021 17:18     Subject: DH works long hours for meager pay

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you lost me completely with 7pm. I actually laughed.


7:00pm? I NEVER get home anywhere near that early. And then I bring my laptop home to do more work.

How much do you make?