Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 23:33     Subject: Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
Anonymous wrote:It's a little close to home but I'm watching it and glad Netflix is running it. I like it, very realistic. Much of it is hard to watch but still doable. I was like her, save the spots for people with 'real abuse' 😭💔. Leaving abuse and trying to survive everything that comes after (especially if family courts are involved) is a special kind of hell. The show is really good so far.


Same here. I went through so much of the same. I was homeless for awhile and the drama caused problems. Her disassociation is a lot like mine. The job situation like mine. The courts. The abuse. He never hit me, but I have PTSD. Syill climbing out. I had to take breaks to process, and finished it in one day so I could release what was triggering me.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 22:25     Subject: Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:One of my best friends immigrated to the US in her twenties. She worked as a nanny and housekeeper until she married a young graduate student. He was like a Nate without the money but was wonderful with her young son and completely in love with her. She wasn’t attracted to him at first but when he asked her to marry him, she said yes because she thought she could grow to love him. And she did and they have a very happy and stable family home twenty years later.

She probably didn’t grow up in a dysfunctional family like the main character


She grew up without a father. Does that count?

No, if her mom was a normal person... in fact it’s healthier to grow up without a
Parent than with a mentally ill abusive or neglectful parent imo

I thought her mom was maybe manic depressive or bipolar.
She was not a bad person. Plenty of people have parents who are not perfect. A parent out there some where is better than no parent


Not sure I agree with this. At one point she said, "I've been taking care of my mother since I was six," and that hit home so hard. Having a chronically mentally ill parent can be completely soul sucking, especially if it's just you and the parent, with no buffers. When the women at the shelter said, "what would it be like if you didn't take care of her?" she couldn't even contemplate the question. Even when she is at her most desperate, she can't rely on her mother, and her mother only makes her feel guilty for not meeting her needs. I can tell you from experience that that completely screws you up as an adult and can make it impossible to hold boundaries or rely on anyone but yourself ever. That's why she kept turning down help--she could not trust that anyone would really care for her. Might also explain why she couldn't trust her father, even though it seemed like he might not be the same person he was in the past. When no one ever has your back, you don't trust anyone to ever have your back. And you don't feel worthy, even when good people try to help (like Nate).


I agree. I grew up with a mentally ill mother and enabling father. Though my mom tried to be the best parent she could and taught me great things she also screwed me up and my dad never stood up to her. I have major boundary issues and it’s hard for me to accept help or rely on anyone
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 22:21     Subject: Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:One of my best friends immigrated to the US in her twenties. She worked as a nanny and housekeeper until she married a young graduate student. He was like a Nate without the money but was wonderful with her young son and completely in love with her. She wasn’t attracted to him at first but when he asked her to marry him, she said yes because she thought she could grow to love him. And she did and they have a very happy and stable family home twenty years later.

She probably didn’t grow up in a dysfunctional family like the main character


She grew up without a father. Does that count?

No, if her mom was a normal person... in fact it’s healthier to grow up without a
Parent than with a mentally ill abusive or neglectful parent imo

I thought her mom was maybe manic depressive or bipolar.
She was not a bad person. Plenty of people have parents who are not perfect. A parent out there some where is better than no parent

I disagree. If her mom disappeared and left her with dad it may have been better for her. Her dad is not perfect but at least not mentally ill, it can screw one big time (ask me how I know)
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 21:25     Subject: Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:One of my best friends immigrated to the US in her twenties. She worked as a nanny and housekeeper until she married a young graduate student. He was like a Nate without the money but was wonderful with her young son and completely in love with her. She wasn’t attracted to him at first but when he asked her to marry him, she said yes because she thought she could grow to love him. And she did and they have a very happy and stable family home twenty years later.

She probably didn’t grow up in a dysfunctional family like the main character


She grew up without a father. Does that count?

No, if her mom was a normal person... in fact it’s healthier to grow up without a
Parent than with a mentally ill abusive or neglectful parent imo

I thought her mom was maybe manic depressive or bipolar.
She was not a bad person. Plenty of people have parents who are not perfect. A parent out there some where is better than no parent


Not sure I agree with this. At one point she said, "I've been taking care of my mother since I was six," and that hit home so hard. Having a chronically mentally ill parent can be completely soul sucking, especially if it's just you and the parent, with no buffers. When the women at the shelter said, "what would it be like if you didn't take care of her?" she couldn't even contemplate the question. Even when she is at her most desperate, she can't rely on her mother, and her mother only makes her feel guilty for not meeting her needs. I can tell you from experience that that completely screws you up as an adult and can make it impossible to hold boundaries or rely on anyone but yourself ever. That's why she kept turning down help--she could not trust that anyone would really care for her. Might also explain why she couldn't trust her father, even though it seemed like he might not be the same person he was in the past. When no one ever has your back, you don't trust anyone to ever have your back. And you don't feel worthy, even when good people try to help (like Nate).
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 20:53     Subject: Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
Anonymous wrote:I watched the entire series and found it well done. Alex's mom did not surprise me when she flip flopped on going to Montana as her mental illness will forever rule her life. But, what bothered me the most was the fact that her father could not come clean about his abuse of Alex's mother and could not stand up for Alex in her custody case and instead chose to be silent and support Sean because "he was going through a hard time." He had two teenaged girls from the second marriage and they could end up like Alex but he would likely not be there for them. It was beyond disgusting.


I agree. I really enjoyed the season even though I was triggered heavily. Alex’s father (a born again Christian) could have redeemed himself, but he did not. Shows the irony.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 18:31     Subject: Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
I watched the entire series and found it well done. Alex's mom did not surprise me when she flip flopped on going to Montana as her mental illness will forever rule her life. But, what bothered me the most was the fact that her father could not come clean about his abuse of Alex's mother and could not stand up for Alex in her custody case and instead chose to be silent and support Sean because "he was going through a hard time." He had two teenaged girls from the second marriage and they could end up like Alex but he would likely not be there for them. It was beyond disgusting.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 18:27     Subject: Re:Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t she stay in college the first time?


I don't think she ever went. She was accepted but did not go maybe because she couldn't figure out how to afford it and obviously family situation was f'd up.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 12:32     Subject: Re:Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
Why didn’t she stay in college the first time?
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2021 02:43     Subject: Re:Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
I am on Episode 4 and this series is blowing me away.

The acting by Margaret Q. is excellent.
She is very talented & her Mother should be proud.

This series is very real and it would have been tough for me to watch this when I was a struggling single mother.
However I like the direction the episodes are going thus far and think this series deserves an award.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2021 08:25     Subject: Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:One of my best friends immigrated to the US in her twenties. She worked as a nanny and housekeeper until she married a young graduate student. He was like a Nate without the money but was wonderful with her young son and completely in love with her. She wasn’t attracted to him at first but when he asked her to marry him, she said yes because she thought she could grow to love him. And she did and they have a very happy and stable family home twenty years later.

She probably didn’t grow up in a dysfunctional family like the main character


She grew up without a father. Does that count?

No, if her mom was a normal person... in fact it’s healthier to grow up without a
Parent than with a mentally ill abusive or neglectful parent imo

I thought her mom was maybe manic depressive or bipolar.
She was not a bad person. Plenty of people have parents who are not perfect. A parent out there some where is better than no parent
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2021 01:54     Subject: Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:One of my best friends immigrated to the US in her twenties. She worked as a nanny and housekeeper until she married a young graduate student. He was like a Nate without the money but was wonderful with her young son and completely in love with her. She wasn’t attracted to him at first but when he asked her to marry him, she said yes because she thought she could grow to love him. And she did and they have a very happy and stable family home twenty years later.

She probably didn’t grow up in a dysfunctional family like the main character


She grew up without a father. Does that count?

No, if her mom was a normal person... in fact it’s healthier to grow up without a
Parent than with a mentally ill abusive or neglectful parent imo
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2021 01:31     Subject: Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:One of my best friends immigrated to the US in her twenties. She worked as a nanny and housekeeper until she married a young graduate student. He was like a Nate without the money but was wonderful with her young son and completely in love with her. She wasn’t attracted to him at first but when he asked her to marry him, she said yes because she thought she could grow to love him. And she did and they have a very happy and stable family home twenty years later.

She probably didn’t grow up in a dysfunctional family like the main character


She grew up without a father. Does that count?
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2021 01:07     Subject: Re:Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At the risk of stating the obvious, living paycheck to paycheck seems terrifying and horribly stressful.


You are super blessed to never have lived through it. It's not just for those in poverty. Millions of truly middle class Americans live paycheck to paycheck each week. People with educations, loving spouses, and careers. It's not unique.

My parents were raised in post WW2 Europe and that was the norm for everyone. They never gave up their frugal ways.
If you really want to compare poverty, the people who lived in communist block countries struggled terribly. Life never got better
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2021 23:03     Subject: Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
Anonymous wrote:One of my best friends immigrated to the US in her twenties. She worked as a nanny and housekeeper until she married a young graduate student. He was like a Nate without the money but was wonderful with her young son and completely in love with her. She wasn’t attracted to him at first but when he asked her to marry him, she said yes because she thought she could grow to love him. And she did and they have a very happy and stable family home twenty years later.

She probably didn’t grow up in a dysfunctional family like the main character
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2021 22:57     Subject: Anyone watching Maid on Netflix?
I also connected to this story as a survivor or emotional and verbal abuse in a past marriage. One thing that stood out to me (and I really appreciated) was that no “one” character saved Alex. She had to save herself in the end. There were people who helped her and gave her support but she ultimately had to do it. And that is such an authentic part of the DV cycle.