Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound extremely rigid and speak about your daughter with such distain I can see why posters think you hate her.

If she's stealing from you she's likely desperate. If this is the hill you want to die on - are you prepared for your daughter to end up homeless? Because calling her names and berating her choices at every turn, isn't going to get you want you want here. If you want to continue having a relationship with her, you can only control you and you need to do better.

It's ridiculous and a classic example of black-and-white thinking to insinuate that my daughter will end up homeless just because DH and I have the audacity as parents to point out her immaturity, lack of responsibility, and her current unemployed status that's leading her to steal money from us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm back with an update. DD called me and said that she had a neuropsych eval last month, and that the results would come out later this week. I don't see the point of this at all because we already paid for a neuropsych eval ~5 years ago for her. She is convinced that she has autism, which is ridiculous -- her last neuropsych eval ruled that out.

She told me over the phone this morning that "an update neuropsych will explain why I have a hard time in the workplace." Okay, well... regardless of whatever the results say, that doesn't help her situation. At all.

I'm just sick of her making excuses for her immaturity. It seems like this fixation on autism is the latest in her attempt to build an identity or a personality that is, as always, based on victimhood. At first it was how "abusive" DH and I were to her as a child and how we "traumatized her for life," and now it's autism.

None of this, of course, is helpful nor productive.

Teens are very difficult to diagnose, and autism often presents differently in women. It's a good thing to have a fresh evaluation, and it's a good thing that she recognizes something is going on. You should be waiting to see how you can be supportive of her growth in light of whatever her eval reveals.

I had a super high achiever that wasn't diagnosed with severe ADHD and severe dyslexia until college. It was a gut punch knowing how difficult things had been for her. No one ever saw the signs, not me, not teachers, pediatricians, it only became apparent that something was really off when online schooling at the beginning of lockdown really impacted her. The diagnoses were very freeing and she learned to manage her life in a new way that was so much easier for her and relived so much stress and anxiety. OP you are so rigid and controlling. You are going to lose your daughter forever if you don't stop treating her with so much judgment and cruelty. It sounds to me like she is doing her best and you are the one who is failing.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm back with an update. DD called me and said that she had a neuropsych eval last month, and that the results would come out later this week. I don't see the point of this at all because we already paid for a neuropsych eval ~5 years ago for her. She is convinced that she has autism, which is ridiculous -- her last neuropsych eval ruled that out.

She told me over the phone this morning that "an update neuropsych will explain why I have a hard time in the workplace." Okay, well... regardless of whatever the results say, that doesn't help her situation. At all.

I'm just sick of her making excuses for her immaturity. It seems like this fixation on autism is the latest in her attempt to build an identity or a personality that is, as always, based on victimhood. At first it was how "abusive" DH and I were to her as a child and how we "traumatized her for life," and now it's autism.

None of this, of course, is helpful nor productive.

Anonymous wrote:I think this is the OP that wanted to send kid to jail and told her she wouldn't take her calls from jail. That victim mom (sic) raged because hated daughter (HD) was a writer, wanted to attend workshops and that OP didn't want HD to "air family dirty laundry" or slander them about being abused in her writings.
My hunch there was HD had been abused, maybe by mom or by dad and they blamed her for telling on them.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm back with an update. DD called me and said that she had a neuropsych eval last month, and that the results would come out later this week. I don't see the point of this at all because we already paid for a neuropsych eval ~5 years ago for her. She is convinced that she has autism, which is ridiculous -- her last neuropsych eval ruled that out.

She told me over the phone this morning that "an update neuropsych will explain why I have a hard time in the workplace." Okay, well... regardless of whatever the results say, that doesn't help her situation. At all.

I'm just sick of her making excuses for her immaturity. It seems like this fixation on autism is the latest in her attempt to build an identity or a personality that is, as always, based on victimhood. At first it was how "abusive" DH and I were to her as a child and how we "traumatized her for life," and now it's autism.

None of this, of course, is helpful nor productive.

Anonymous wrote:You clearly want confirmation as to why you should cut off your daughter. It probably would be best for everyone involved to distance themselves. This is a toxic relationship.

There is no way I would be angry at my kid for using my Amazon account to buy essentials. Since you are, then just cut ties and be done with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty clear that you don't love your daughter, and that is where all her issues stem from.

I would like for these insulting comments to stop. Not only are they simply untrue, but they're unproductive to solving the situation at hand.

That’s not an insult, that pp is just speaking the truth. Your hatred and utter disdain for your daughter shines through in every one of your posts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty clear that you don't love your daughter, and that is where all her issues stem from.

I would like for these insulting comments to stop. Not only are they simply untrue, but they're unproductive to solving the situation at hand.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm back with an update. DD called me and said that she had a neuropsych eval last month, and that the results would come out later this week. I don't see the point of this at all because we already paid for a neuropsych eval ~5 years ago for her. She is convinced that she has autism, which is ridiculous -- her last neuropsych eval ruled that out.

She told me over the phone this morning that "an update neuropsych will explain why I have a hard time in the workplace." Okay, well... regardless of whatever the results say, that doesn't help her situation. At all.

I'm just sick of her making excuses for her immaturity. It seems like this fixation on autism is the latest in her attempt to build an identity or a personality that is, as always, based on victimhood. At first it was how "abusive" DH and I were to her as a child and how we "traumatized her for life," and now it's autism.

None of this, of course, is helpful nor productive.

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty clear that you don't love your daughter, and that is where all her issues stem from.