Anonymous
11/01/2025 16:40
Subject: Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.
Your DC can apply for an Ivy that meets full need.
If they go to a state school, it’s not the end of the world!
My DC will graduate in 3 years from a state school that accepted dual enrollment and AP credits, and we have money left over in the 529 for grad school. They have had internships and jobs and are just as happy as their friends at private SLACs and Ivies. I’d argue their mental health is better thanks to less grade and money pressure.
Anonymous
11/01/2025 16:29
Subject: Re:Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Unless your child is able to make it into the most tippy top schools, I think the oncoming workplace shake up will open up opportunities for many who may have gone to lower ranking schools.
Your flexibility will matter more than the name on your diploma, unless you are taking the very top of an organization.
It already so clearly does. Where have you been?
No, its not fully set. All the corporations are chomping at the bit, but what the resulting workforce will look like is tough to know now.
I have been here, waiting to see.
The next 4 years should be revealing
Anonymous
11/01/2025 14:59
Subject: Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.
You can get a lot of merit aid. My kids both did. Also, please do not accept that there is not a way to make this work out. Don't be lazy. Look at all options and financial aid etc...... and yes you may have to use some of your savings? Do you not have a 529 plan? Also, if you are paying out of pocket for college you can definitely get a tax deduction for it. Please keep an open mind and dont just assume it won't work out.
Name the T20 schools your kids got into with Merit. Because most simply don't give much merit. I don't consider 15-25 merit awards for 1500+ freshman "much merit". When acceptance rates are single digits, your odds of getting in AND getting merit are close to 0. SO sure, apply and hope and not have anywhere to go that you can afford. Or assume those are unlikely, and have a great list of targets and safeties you will actually be able to afford.
Anonymous
11/01/2025 13:59
Subject: Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.
You can get a lot of merit aid. My kids both did. Also, please do not accept that there is not a way to make this work out. Don't be lazy. Look at all options and financial aid etc...... and yes you may have to use some of your savings? Do you not have a 529 plan? Also, if you are paying out of pocket for college you can definitely get a tax deduction for it. Please keep an open mind and dont just assume it won't work out.
Anonymous
11/01/2025 13:41
Subject: Re:Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Unless your child is able to make it into the most tippy top schools, I think the oncoming workplace shake up will open up opportunities for many who may have gone to lower ranking schools.
Your flexibility will matter more than the name on your diploma, unless you are taking the very top of an organization.
Even at the "very top", where you go does not matter! Spouse has been CEO/exec team at 3 companies (CEO at 2). Of the 10+ at each company in the Exec Suite, only 1-2 have degrees from "elite universities", while in fact over 50% have degrees from schools ranked 150+ (so not even "2nd or 3rd Tier by DCUMland definitions) Yet they are all top level execs who got to where they are because of what they do, not the name on their degree.
This. I know so many random highly successful people who went to Tech, or Penn State, or West Virginia, or even smaller places most have never heard of. If you know lots of successful people, you know this is true.
Because it's what you do, not where you went! Smart people with drive/motivation will do well no matter what.
Anonymous
11/01/2025 13:40
Subject: Re:Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Anonymous wrote:Unless your child is able to make it into the most tippy top schools, I think the oncoming workplace shake up will open up opportunities for many who may have gone to lower ranking schools.
Your flexibility will matter more than the name on your diploma, unless you are taking the very top of an organization.
It already so clearly does. Where have you been?
Anonymous
11/01/2025 13:25
Subject: Re:Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Unless your child is able to make it into the most tippy top schools, I think the oncoming workplace shake up will open up opportunities for many who may have gone to lower ranking schools.
Your flexibility will matter more than the name on your diploma, unless you are taking the very top of an organization.
Even at the "very top", where you go does not matter! Spouse has been CEO/exec team at 3 companies (CEO at 2). Of the 10+ at each company in the Exec Suite, only 1-2 have degrees from "elite universities", while in fact over 50% have degrees from schools ranked 150+ (so not even "2nd or 3rd Tier by DCUMland definitions) Yet they are all top level execs who got to where they are because of what they do, not the name on their degree.
This. I know so many random highly successful people who went to Tech, or Penn State, or West Virginia, or even smaller places most have never heard of. If you know lots of successful people, you know this is true.
Anonymous
11/01/2025 12:55
Subject: Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
The school I went to is now 90k/year. I was a scholarship kid. There's an extent that being in one of those top 10 rich kid schools is a strange experience.
Honestly I think large amounts of debt wouldn't have been worth it (I had some loans). I remember the relentless pressure to go to thrbhughest ranked school and in reality that wasn't the best idea for fit. While my school worked out for me, I do work with people who took very different paths to the same place. It's just a weird psychological pressure we put on highschoolers.
Honestly I think large amounts of debt wouldn't have been worth it (I had some loans). I remember the relentless pressure to go to thrbhughest ranked school and in reality that wasn't the best idea for fit. While my school worked out for me, I do work with people who took very different paths to the same place. It's just a weird psychological pressure we put on highschoolers.
Anonymous
11/01/2025 12:54
Subject: Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
There are so many paths to a happy, successful, and fulfilling life!!
No requirement to attend a college that is $90k+ a year.
Steer your DC to schools that are good fits, including financially. Theyll find their people and thrive there, going on to do well after college, too.
No requirement to attend a college that is $90k+ a year.
Steer your DC to schools that are good fits, including financially. Theyll find their people and thrive there, going on to do well after college, too.
Anonymous
11/01/2025 12:45
Subject: Re:Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Anonymous wrote:Unless your child is able to make it into the most tippy top schools, I think the oncoming workplace shake up will open up opportunities for many who may have gone to lower ranking schools.
Your flexibility will matter more than the name on your diploma, unless you are taking the very top of an organization.
Even at the "very top", where you go does not matter! Spouse has been CEO/exec team at 3 companies (CEO at 2). Of the 10+ at each company in the Exec Suite, only 1-2 have degrees from "elite universities", while in fact over 50% have degrees from schools ranked 150+ (so not even "2nd or 3rd Tier by DCUMland definitions) Yet they are all top level execs who got to where they are because of what they do, not the name on their degree.
Anonymous
11/01/2025 12:43
Subject: Re:Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Anonymous wrote:What if the BMW dealership routinely gives cars not just for 40K but for free? Wouldn't you want a free BMW then?Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Throughout your life as a parent, you made choices about your spending that didn't include planning to have the money for the level of higher education you want your child to have. I'm sure you could have found a less expensive house, taken less expensive vacations, bought food at cheaper grocery stores, spent less on activities and the like. But you didn't.
And now that you are faced with the decision as to how to spend the money you have, which does include enough to pay for the level of education you want to give your child, you do not want to give that level of education to your child.
The only person you should be disappointed in is yourself. You could have but chose not to.
dp.. chill out. College costs have skyrocketed in the past 10 years, even publics.
So have cars, but you don't see me at the BMW dealership demanding they give me a 80K vehicle for $40K, I shop at the Honda/Toyota and don't complain
yes I might want one. But I'm intelligent enough to know that I am NOT entitled to one just because I want it.
And also smart enough to know that if I make $200K+, I'm privileged enough to be able to afford my own and dont begrudge those who are eligible.
Anonymous
11/01/2025 12:41
Subject: Re:Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Throughout your life as a parent, you made choices about your spending that didn't include planning to have the money for the level of higher education you want your child to have. I'm sure you could have found a less expensive house, taken less expensive vacations, bought food at cheaper grocery stores, spent less on activities and the like. But you didn't.
And now that you are faced with the decision as to how to spend the money you have, which does include enough to pay for the level of education you want to give your child, you do not want to give that level of education to your child.
The only person you should be disappointed in is yourself. You could have but chose not to.
dp.. chill out. College costs have skyrocketed in the past 10 years, even publics.
So have cars, but you don't see me at the BMW dealership demanding they give me a 80K vehicle for $40K, I shop at the Honda/Toyota and don't complain
but a car is not the same as a college education.
-signed a long time Subaru owner
And a 90k/year education is not inherently better than a $40k/year one.
Exactly! You can get a great education at many many schools. Find one you can afford and is the best fit for you. But if you can afford $90K, nothing wrong with spending it if that is a school that's right for you
Anonymous
11/01/2025 12:00
Subject: Re:Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Anonymous wrote:What if the BMW dealership routinely gives cars not just for 40K but for free? Wouldn't you want a free BMW then?Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Throughout your life as a parent, you made choices about your spending that didn't include planning to have the money for the level of higher education you want your child to have. I'm sure you could have found a less expensive house, taken less expensive vacations, bought food at cheaper grocery stores, spent less on activities and the like. But you didn't.
And now that you are faced with the decision as to how to spend the money you have, which does include enough to pay for the level of education you want to give your child, you do not want to give that level of education to your child.
The only person you should be disappointed in is yourself. You could have but chose not to.
dp.. chill out. College costs have skyrocketed in the past 10 years, even publics.
So have cars, but you don't see me at the BMW dealership demanding they give me a 80K vehicle for $40K, I shop at the Honda/Toyota and don't complain
So impoverish yourself to get the BMW for free then. Sounds like a great long-term strategy. /s
Anonymous
11/01/2025 11:46
Subject: Re:Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Unless your child is able to make it into the most tippy top schools, I think the oncoming workplace shake up will open up opportunities for many who may have gone to lower ranking schools.
Your flexibility will matter more than the name on your diploma, unless you are taking the very top of an organization.
Your flexibility will matter more than the name on your diploma, unless you are taking the very top of an organization.
Anonymous
11/01/2025 03:24
Subject: Sad that I can’t afford a top school for DD.
Where you go to school matters less than what you do while you are there. She will be fine.