Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thing is that many wealthy kids don't eat in the dining halls. they pay for the freshman meal plan but then eat almost every meal out (or get takeout, door dash, etc). Both of my kids report this (Ivy and another top 20).

+1
My kid at an ivy says the same. Also the wealthier kids now go out to nice restaurants for dinner and drinks. In my college days (also an ivy), friends of all socio-economic levels went out for pizza and pitchers of beer - which was affordable by all. Things have changed...

It’s really a shame. I didn’t go to an Ivy, but I went to school with the kids of very wealthy families and they just blended in with everyone else.

I suspect plenty of wealthy kids of down to earth parents still do this. I’m not sure if we qualify as wealthy on this board but my kid is not going to college on an unlimited expense account. DH and I were both raised MC and despite now having high income and assets, we still have MC values. Kids are in public schools and are not looking at any private colleges.

Anonymous wrote:OP, do have friends and hang out regularly with people of different income levels? I do not, and I am sure most people do not. Why would you think college is any different?

Not OP, but I do. And my teens do. Weird that you assume most people don’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thing is that many wealthy kids don't eat in the dining halls. they pay for the freshman meal plan but then eat almost every meal out (or get takeout, door dash, etc). Both of my kids report this (Ivy and another top 20).

+1
My kid at an ivy says the same. Also the wealthier kids now go out to nice restaurants for dinner and drinks. In my college days (also an ivy), friends of all socio-economic levels went out for pizza and pitchers of beer - which was affordable by all. Things have changed...

It’s really a shame. I didn’t go to an Ivy, but I went to school with the kids of very wealthy families and they just blended in with everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:Are there many other parents who can afford to pay for fancy college break trips but don't? We're planning to pay for all of DD's college-related expenses and she generally wants for nothing, but we've told her that she'll be expected to pay for any college trips with friends from money she earns herself even though we could afford to foot the bill. We're ready to be the lone mean parents, but it sure would be nice if there were one or two other kids in the same boat.

My son has more spending money right now than me lol. Summer jobs add up so he does pay for his trips, golf, etc

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, 100%
My son is at any Ivy and reports that all NYC private school kids and boarding school kids stick together. Several of them have parents who bought houses near the Ivy
that sit mostly empty (freshman year) but that the kids use to party. Also they get local country club memberships for their 4 years and the kids all play golf together.
My kid attended a top private and has been invited to party and golf, etc but told me "They're fine but I don't want my entire social experience to revolve around them" --because apparently it's a pretty all-consuming group.

this is pretty common at most schools in T20.

In general, society is already divided. Just look at the neighborhood and zoning

+1 this is just how America works.

This is how it works everywhere.

True, the rich separate them selves everywhere. Vacation spots, hobbies, neighborhoods, clothing brands. It’s everywhere when you pay attention.

And? Go get yourself the best education you can get and make a living and a life for yourself. Some people are going to go off to their ski houses or some tropical island over winter break and so what?

The key issue is connection—this is what really matters for ambitious middle-class students. If those expensive, prestigious private schools can't provide meaningful connections, the return on investment is too low, especially for middle-class families who are likely paying close to full tuition.

This mentality is so sad. So many ambitious middle-class students succeed without anything having to do with connections. This “connections or bust” view is so myopic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies have shown that attending an elite college helps low income students move up in the world.

As for actual social groups, it really depends on the college. Colleges that charge different rates for dorms, that permit residential Greek life, and that charge students to attend activities like concerts, indirectly encourage economic stratification.

If you really are interested in attending a college that discourages economic stratification, I would look to Quaker colleges, colleges that have lottery systems by year for housing, and that have "cashless" campuses where events are free for students.

+1

Also helps if there aren't a ton of convenient, off-campus places to spend money on a daily basis. (Especially expensive restaurants.)

I do think this is one of the reasons why Vanderbilt is so bifurcated. The kids go out for really expensive meals and go out on Broadway a couple of times a week.

Combine that with the dry bar blowouts, the barre workout classes and the Whole Foods runs and it’s as expensive as a stay at home mom‘s life.

Wow! So different than my $5/pitcher of beer college experience!

Anonymous wrote:Ime yes. I was a Mc kid at a wealthy school. I drove home 12 hours for spring break. Some of the people I know chartered a private plans to fly to a tropical island. That sort of thing. It wasn’t always easy.

That was my experience in a private all girls HS. I went to a state university and it was more balanced in my circles.

~max 200 kids per school in T20

Typ 1-5 % families , in net worth , number ~ 5 mil max ( total US households ~160 mil).. now the family could be worth say 5 mil (~95 percentile wealth)but with 3 kids vs a family w/ net worth of 2 mil (92 percentile)but just 1 kid are really not far apart on a per capita basis and their affordability landscape would be similar…
T20 admit about 30000 kids excluding ~20% internationals..~ 10-15% (up to 5000) would belong to 95+percentile and may be just~10% in the 99+ percentile category)
This is roughly ~ max 200 kids . so families in say 85+ up to 94 percentile category will have lots of kids to choose from even assuming that 95+ percentile kids willingly or otherwise avoid them//
Lower than 85 percentile (in net worth), would get aid , if admitted,in any case but that number is a minority (~max 25 %)

Anonymous wrote:It happens….some can afford concerts, spring break trips, nicer apartments and fancy dinners out. I don’t think it completely precludes larger and more diverse friend groups, but tighter cliques do form as a result of income levels.

This. My DD ran into issues when her “friends” wanted to go to rent expensive apartments that were out of our budget and go to Cabo for Spring Break (also out of our budget). None of her friends had part-time jobs, either.

birds of a feather flock together

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it happens.

At large state flagships, most students in Greek life are upper middle class or wealthy. There are also typically programs to help first generation low-income students connect with each other.

At Ivy and NESCAC schools, students seem to fall into one of three groups: athletes, full-pay students, academically gifted first generation or URM students.

Sure, there are exceptions. However, financial differences are noticeable when it comes to finding upperclassmen apartments, planning spring break trips, or even just going out on the weekends.

Just to add, first gen and URM students aren’t the only gifted students. Many, many full pay kids are also gifted. Legacy and athletes are gifted too. But surely you know this.

Yes, it happens.

At large state flagships, most students in Greek life are upper middle class or wealthy. There are also typically programs to help first generation low-income students connect with each other.

At Ivy and NESCAC schools, students seem to fall into one of three groups: athletes, full-pay students, academically gifted first generation or URM students.

Sure, there are exceptions. However, financial differences are noticeable when it comes to finding upperclassmen apartments, planning spring break trips, or even just going out on the weekends.

OP, do have friends and hang out regularly with people of different income levels? I do not, and I am sure most people do not. Why would you think college is any different?

yes this happens. college doesn't remove any social barriers, it just exacerbates them.

look at the demographics of the college you're applying to carefully.

read unigo/reddit.

talk to actual students 1:1 before binding yourself ED somewhere.