Anonymous wrote:
Ironically, we largely had the opposite experience at Bronx Science and Stuy. The schools are huge so there are all types including the type you described, so not disagreeing with you and definitely not saying you are wrong. But we also found that both skewed way too heavily towards really socially awkward kids who were making strange jokes and who as an employer I would not stick within a mile of a client (I know they are only in HS but you get my point). My kid, who is far from the coolest kid out there but has very normal, mainstream interests and feels relatively comfortable interacting with a wide variety of people, looked at us and said "please don't make me go here". And this was at the accepted student event for one of them (we had had largely the same experience at the open houses for both schools). My kid was coming from a fairly diverse public middle school so it is not like they were totally sheltered or living in an UMC white bubble their whole life.

Heh, we are having the opposite 'problem' - I also have a very "normal", well-adjusted, and socially comfortable child at a diverse public, and they *loved* Bx Sci (Stuy felt a little less appealing, and maybe more awkward kids, yes). Now we, the parents, think that maybe the right private high school would align better , but it will be a long conversation should they get in. Did your kid end up at Trinity or some other school?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a prep for prep tour guide for HS at a TT school. Along with a kid who had been there since K. Kid who was there since K was fine - very pleasant, probably not going to HYPS unless super connected but will do fine in life. If you met them on the street you wouldn't guess they went to a TT but not dumb either. Prep for Prep kid was really impressive - smart, funny, comfortable in their own skin. I think they had applied ED to MIT but don't recall (it was a few years ago).

Again - generalizations get you nowhere.

This is interesting to me, b/c all the young Trinity alumni I've met (4-5) have been pleasant, well-mannered, and... sort of mild? I am sure there are some brilliants minds behind the manners, but they sure don't let on, at least not to a casual acquaintance. Comparing to e.g. Bronx Science open house experience, where there was a lot of cheeky humor, ironic self-awareness and kind of intense "cool nerd" energy. Trinity -- mostly polish. Yeah, generalization, I know.

The Prep for Prep kid didn't blow us away with his brilliance - not one of the off the charts types. But clearly very smart and just an overall impressive representative of the school. A bit on the nerdy side but not totally socially awkward or weird. The non-Prep for Prep kid we met fits your description well.

Ironically, we largely had the opposite experience at Bronx Science and Stuy. The schools are huge so there are all types including the type you described, so not disagreeing with you and definitely not saying you are wrong. But we also found that both skewed way too heavily towards really socially awkward kids who were making strange jokes and who as an employer I would not stick within a mile of a client (I know they are only in HS but you get my point). My kid, who is far from the coolest kid out there but has very normal, mainstream interests and feels relatively comfortable interacting with a wide variety of people, looked at us and said "please don't make me go here". And this was at the accepted student event for one of them (we had had largely the same experience at the open houses for both schools). My kid was coming from a fairly diverse public middle school so it is not like they were totally sheltered or living in an UMC white bubble their whole life.

Anonymous wrote:We had a prep for prep tour guide for HS at a TT school. Along with a kid who had been there since K. Kid who was there since K was fine - very pleasant, probably not going to HYPS unless super connected but will do fine in life. If you met them on the street you wouldn't guess they went to a TT but not dumb either. Prep for Prep kid was really impressive - smart, funny, comfortable in their own skin. I think they had applied ED to MIT but don't recall (it was a few years ago).

Again - generalizations get you nowhere.

This is interesting to me, b/c all the young Trinity alumni I've met (4-5) have been pleasant, well-mannered, and... sort of mild? I am sure there are some brilliants minds behind the manners, but they sure don't let on, at least not to a casual acquaintance. Comparing to e.g. Bronx Science open house experience, where there was a lot of cheeky humor, ironic self-awareness and kind of intense "cool nerd" energy. Trinity -- mostly polish. Yeah, generalization, I know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize HM accepts a ton of poor kids and DEI admits? It weighs down the averages significantly.

Wow, talk about telling on yourself. And this comes out n a discussion comparing HM to *Scarsdale*?

Also, do you seriously think that the "poor kids" earning a free ride at a TT school are dummies?

The kids on financial aid at the TT schools in the city are often the smartest kids in the school. It is extremely competitive to get in and get financial aid. You are sorely misinformed to think those kids bring anything down. The wealthiest kids are often the dumbest and/or put in the least effort. They might still be relatively smart, but they have nothing on the kids who are working their way up.

Watch “American Promise” about Dalton. One student from that background dropped out in middle school. The other went to Occidental (okay school, definitely a bottom half outcome). The financial aid students have lower GPAs and matriculation. Prep for Prep has to tutor them for multiple summers so they don’t flunk out while their future classmates get drunk in the Hamptons and sail.

Obviously kids coming into a TT school from public in middle or high school will be at a disadvantage — whether they are paying full tuition or not. Dalton is diverse from the beginning, however, and has come a very long way since that movie was made in terms of racism within the school. There’s no more competitive pool in private school admissions than the financial aid pool for kindergarten because the school is committing to support a kid for 13 years. Kids have to really wow at their visit to get an offer from Dalton/Trinity etc.

They started there in K

We had a prep for prep tour guide for HS at a TT school. Along with a kid who had been there since K. Kid who was there since K was fine - very pleasant, probably not going to HYPS unless super connected but will do fine in life. If you met them on the street you wouldn't guess they went to a TT but not dumb either. Prep for Prep kid was really impressive - smart, funny, comfortable in their own skin. I think they had applied ED to MIT but don't recall (it was a few years ago).

Again - generalizations get you nowhere.

Anonymous wrote:Obviously kids coming into a TT school from public in middle or high school will be at a disadvantage — whether they are paying full tuition or not.

It's not obvious to me. In what way would they automatically be at a disadvantage and why (assuming coming from top public middle schools)?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize HM accepts a ton of poor kids and DEI admits? It weighs down the averages significantly.

Wow, talk about telling on yourself. And this comes out n a discussion comparing HM to *Scarsdale*?

Also, do you seriously think that the "poor kids" earning a free ride at a TT school are dummies?

The kids on financial aid at the TT schools in the city are often the smartest kids in the school. It is extremely competitive to get in and get financial aid. You are sorely misinformed to think those kids bring anything down. The wealthiest kids are often the dumbest and/or put in the least effort. They might still be relatively smart, but they have nothing on the kids who are working their way up.

Watch “American Promise” about Dalton. One student from that background dropped out in middle school. The other went to Occidental (okay school, definitely a bottom half outcome). The financial aid students have lower GPAs and matriculation. Prep for Prep has to tutor them for multiple summers so they don’t flunk out while their future classmates get drunk in the Hamptons and sail.

Obviously kids coming into a TT school from public in middle or high school will be at a disadvantage — whether they are paying full tuition or not. Dalton is diverse from the beginning, however, and has come a very long way since that movie was made in terms of racism within the school. There’s no more competitive pool in private school admissions than the financial aid pool for kindergarten because the school is committing to support a kid for 13 years. Kids have to really wow at their visit to get an offer from Dalton/Trinity etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize HM accepts a ton of poor kids and DEI admits? It weighs down the averages significantly.

Wow, talk about telling on yourself. And this comes out n a discussion comparing HM to *Scarsdale*?

Also, do you seriously think that the "poor kids" earning a free ride at a TT school are dummies?

The kids on financial aid at the TT schools in the city are often the smartest kids in the school. It is extremely competitive to get in and get financial aid. You are sorely misinformed to think those kids bring anything down. The wealthiest kids are often the dumbest and/or put in the least effort. They might still be relatively smart, but they have nothing on the kids who are working their way up.

Watch “American Promise” about Dalton. One student from that background dropped out in middle school. The other went to Occidental (okay school, definitely a bottom half outcome). The financial aid students have lower GPAs and matriculation. Prep for Prep has to tutor them for multiple summers so they don’t flunk out while their future classmates get drunk in the Hamptons and sail.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t post this comment - i’m the trinity alum/dalton kid poster from above - but i think the poster is mostly joking. We all say that kind of thing. However, I will say that while we loved the lower school experience, I don’t think the high school is a particularly healthy environment for so many reasons, and I would certainly think long and hard before sending my kiddos there. Can give more details if you’d like.

Please! We interviewed/toured the school, and it definitely felt like an outlier in terms of how cold and formal the interactions with the staff were. Hard to read how much that is reflective of the overall vibe for the students, but definitely gave us a pause. Do you have any comparative info wrt Horace Mann (also reputationally competitive, but felt much more relaxed and easy-going when we visited). Thanks!

My daughter goes to a TT same sex school. She was admitted to Horace Mann but preferred the all girls environment. Her best friend from lower school chose Horace Mann so she has a big group of friends from HM, the kids seem pretty normal to me. They are on the phone during the week, the HM kids go to the same Bat/Bar mitzvahs, they even have similar work loads. I would feel pretty comfortable sending my child to HM if they chose to go there. I think the differences are minimal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize HM accepts a ton of poor kids and DEI admits? It weighs down the averages significantly.

Wow, talk about telling on yourself. And this comes out n a discussion comparing HM to *Scarsdale*?

Also, do you seriously think that the "poor kids" earning a free ride at a TT school are dummies?

The kids on financial aid at the TT schools in the city are often the smartest kids in the school. It is extremely competitive to get in and get financial aid. You are sorely misinformed to think those kids bring anything down. The wealthiest kids are often the dumbest and/or put in the least effort. They might still be relatively smart, but they have nothing on the kids who are working their way up.

Anonymous wrote:
I'm saying there was neurodiversity as well as various other outliers. Not everyone was a rich smart high achieving perfectly behaved kid. Of course neurodiverse kids can be high achieving. While the HM snob was saying their student body was one thing, I'm saying from experience teaching up the hill that they had all kinds of kids.

I get not everyone being well-behaved or even rich... but was there really a sizeable contingent of, um, non-smart kids at the HM upper division? How do they keep up with the academics?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is also true at highly-ranked public high schools though

I'm not the person arguing otherwise. The difference, I suppose, is that the class composition is going to be different so it's hard to compare. HM has much more control over that, and the kids are generally high-achievers with very few exceptions.

Hi. I used to teach dance at Horace Mann. There was every "kind" of kid and definitely some neurodiversity in my class.

Hi. Are you suggesting that neurodiverse children can't be high-achieving?

I'm saying there was neurodiversity as well as various other outliers. Not everyone was a rich smart high achieving perfectly behaved kid. Of course neurodiverse kids can be high achieving. While the HM snob was saying their student body was one thing, I'm saying from experience teaching up the hill that they had all kinds of kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Current parent, kid just about to start in upper school and we’ve been there since kindergarten. When we toured it felt very formal and compared to Dalton from an admissions standpoint. That has overwhelmingly not been our experience.

The school has been warm and thoughtful and the teachers and community are amazing. We’ve made great friends (as have our kids). Middle school has been completely transformed by current leadership and my kid loves school and while things are competitive, isn’t a stress case. Homework is wildly manageable. Could they be the right type of kid for this experience? Sure. Could I have predicted that at age 5? Definitely not. We made a leap and (knock on wood) landed on solid ground. We are very happy and extremely grateful. Just a current parents viewpoint!

Thanks, this is helpful! Would you say there is still any tension or hierarchy around class/social status? We are a low-income artistic immigrant family (though well-educated), so that would be a significant concern.

Not that we’ve experienced or that I’ve heard about.

Anonymous wrote:
Current parent, kid just about to start in upper school and we’ve been there since kindergarten. When we toured it felt very formal and compared to Dalton from an admissions standpoint. That has overwhelmingly not been our experience.

The school has been warm and thoughtful and the teachers and community are amazing. We’ve made great friends (as have our kids). Middle school has been completely transformed by current leadership and my kid loves school and while things are competitive, isn’t a stress case. Homework is wildly manageable. Could they be the right type of kid for this experience? Sure. Could I have predicted that at age 5? Definitely not. We made a leap and (knock on wood) landed on solid ground. We are very happy and extremely grateful. Just a current parents viewpoint!

Thanks, this is helpful! Would you say there is still any tension or hierarchy around class/social status? We are a low-income artistic immigrant family (though well-educated), so that would be a significant concern.

Almost every single “spike” admit who isn’t a recruited athlete or DEI has phenomenal testing and grades. The spike is the way to differentiate applicants, since there are too many 4.0s, 1600s, and valedictorians to all be admitted to T20 schools. It’s not as if well rounded applicants are superior in any way to the spikes.