Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 20:36     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:Orion
Silvan


You met your DH while you were both on a surfing trip in Costa Rica. On your first "date," you drank beer under the stars and traded stories about the bruises and cuts you'd acquired over your time abroad. At first you were embarassed to admit you were there trying to find yourself, but he somehow knew before you even told him. The two of you reconnected in the States a few months later and he decided to move into your tiny apartment with you while you finished school. You were married the next fall, and Orion quickly followed. DH picked up a job with the federal government so you could have good health benefits (DH grumbled but knew it was for the best) and you were just about to look for work when you were shocked with the news of another little one on the way. When your second baby was born you and DH fought like wildcats over his name and were relieved when you settled on Silvan, which you both genuinely felt was as unique and beautiful as Orion. You're raising the boys, now 3 and 4, to be bold. They have never had their hair cut, they eat seaweed with no problem, and they both know how to tie all of the most important knots (well, Orion has to help Silvan a little bit just yet, but he's very close). Your parents have lightened up a bit since DH took the stable government job, but his parents are distant; they have never forgiven their son for not carrying on the family tradition of service in the Navy. You secretly mail them pictures of the boys (you choose shots where their long hair is pulled back and not too visible) even though you know your DH would be furious. You wonder if he knows how brave he is and sometimes you hate yourself for going behind his back, but you're sure his family will eventually come together. You started a scrapbook with pictures to catch them up when they finally do visit.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 18:44     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DC 1 Breaker
DC 2 Crew


Bump! Please someone!


You met your DH at a human rights rally in DC and really got to know each other while handcuffed in the back of the paddy wagon. You live together but your not really married because you don't need a piece of paper to tell you that you are committed. Yet you secretly worry that he may just slip away one night and you will never have any kind of recourse.

You don't have a TV but you secretly watch shows on Netflix ALL the time because you are a total TV addict. You live as green as you possibly can. Solar panels, geothermal heat pump, composting, etc. but you have to live close in because your DH works for the gov, against your wishes. You don't have a paying job but you do have several volunteer positions to fill your days. Your boys both play lacrosse, a sport you approve of because it's a Native American sport.

You gave the boys names you thought were cool and there wasn't any other thought given to it. Including what those names would look like on a resume. Only later did you think of giving the boys the news anchor name test. They can be weathermen or sports casters but they will never be Brian Williams or Jim Vance.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 18:42     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Orion
Silvan
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 18:42     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Alexandra
Deborah
Carlos
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 18:27     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:Veronica
Sally


Your favorite things in life are Elvis Costello and the movie The Commitments. And all things Irish really but you didn't want to give your kids "strange" names.



Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 18:18     Subject: Re:Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Julius
Sarah
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 18:13     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!

Anonymous wrote:DC 1 Breaker
DC 2 Crew


Bump! Please someone!
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 17:36     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Gemma
Clarke
Lily and Isla (twins)
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 17:18     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sarah
Charles
Benjamin


Sarah thinks she's a little mommy, to the point she's tried to stay home to care for Benjamin when he came down with rotovirus, and cried when you made her go to school. She cried there too, and the teacher called you at home that night, sure he was in the hospital on the verge of death based on how worried Sarah was. She is a natural caretaker, and now in 2nd grade was voted class president three times because of how much confidence other people have in her.

Charles is always Charles, never Charlie. Except for your FIL, who always calls him Charlie, which makes you so angry. DH thinks it's ridiculous, but lets you go around introducing him as Charles as you wish. He has middle child syndrome, but simply goes to Sarah for all his needs. Benjamin is the fattest, happiest baby you have ever seen. He was only 8 lbs, 2oz at birth, but porked right up and you worry people think you're feeding him crap food, even though you're All Organic, All the Time (except when DH is in charge).

You are a CPA, and only manager because your boss hates working mothers. He doesn't mind women, but isn't a fan of mothers working. Despite the fact that you only took off six weeks with each child before shipping them off to daycare, he brings up all your "time off" all the time. DH is so much more easy going than you and encourages you to let it roll off your shoulders, or take that in-house job you were offered as CFO. But it's 25 minutes farther away and you just can't bring yourself to take the plunge.

DH is a public defender, and you worry he will cheat on you with someone less high strung. You also wish he would go to a law firm to earn more, but know that he gets great benefits this way, plus unless he's in trial never works late. He has a work-wife and you've forbidden him from using that term around you, but Sarah's picked it up and you once accidentally spanked her for using it. DH suggested you take anti-anxiety medication, or at least look into it and you didn't talk to him for two days.

You have five different colored turtlenecks which you wear in the winter with your pantsuits, and your favorite one is the maroon, followed by the forest green, then the mustard (other colors are navy blue and white). You are a Republican, but secretly consider Hillary Clinton to be great, and think the way she dresses is quite smart. When your mother comments that you haven't lost the baby weight you snap back that there are more important things than how you look - like working and raising a family.

Sex is scheduled on your blackberry for once a week, but you skip it when you've got your period because that's disgusting. DH suggested he wouldn't mind, but you mind. You and DH got in a fight on vacation once because he wanted to have sex with you off schedule and your gut reaction was "That's not for two more days," and DH's expression was what made you start worrying he might either divorce or cheat on you. So now when you're on vacation, you have a reminder in your Blackberry to be open to sex any of the nights, not just on sex night.


Well, you got the "Ben is a fat baby" part right--though he was a fat grumpy baby. Charles (called Casey, like "Casey at Bat") was the happiest baby ever. Seriously woke up every morning, giggling in delight!

Thanks for your analysis--your interpretation is definitely more interesting than the reality!
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 17:06     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Larla


Yeah, you're fucking with us. The end.


I'm not the PP you're responding to, though I admit that I have encouraged some of this -- sigh. It is getting tiresome, but what are you gonna do -- take her outside?
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 17:03     Subject: Re:Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:



Anonymous wrote:I love this thread.

My kid is a Libby.



You met your DH in high school. He played on the basketball team (naturally, given your location in the midwest) and you were one of the best athletes in school as well. You went off to college together at a big state school and got married after finishing your junior years. While unpacking the boxes in your first home together you decided to start your family right away. Libby was born just a few months before you both were slated to graduate. You were so proud watching your DH cross the stage to get his diploma, and you jumped up and shouted as loud as you could, even with your little lady in your arms. After school, DH took a job flying a private jet and you, he, and Libby traveled around the world. You were thrilled to raise her in such a cosmopolitan way, but wanted her to have roots to home, so you dressed her in State U gear for every home basketball game and watched your beloved team at various times on 4 different continents. You finished your last few credits for your degree in hospitality services through distance learning while Libby was a preschooler, and now that she is ready to start kindergarten, your family has settled down in D.C. DH will continue to fly, but commercially, and you've accepted a position at a trade association. You're nervous about how Libby will adjust to a more settled life but weirdy excited about packing her school lunches with foods the other kids have never seen. You and DH are in the midst of a raging debate about whether she should be introduced to her new classmates as "Elizabeth."


This is great. Many details are off, but a few are dead on. I enjoyed reading it immensely either way. Thank you!

You're very right about my weird obsession with packing her exotic bentos, watching the beloved teams from other continents, and in our present raging debate. Only thing is she is an Elspbeth (family name), not an Elizabeth. I'm in the Libby camp. DH is just talking crazy.


My niece, a proud Wisconsin grad, watched the Rose Bowl from a bar in Seoul packed with proud Badger fans. Kickoff was at 9 a.m. She was there teaching English with her beau. They seem quite serious. Wonder if she's destined to marry him and have a Libby?
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 16:07     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Layla
Levi
Eli
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 15:41     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:Larla


Yeah, you're fucking with us. The end.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 15:39     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:Dd: Georgia


You grew up hard scrabble, in a working miner's town in Arizona. You were determined to get out, and you did, securing a spot as valedictorian of your high school and graduating summa cum laude from Arizona State. You then headed off to graduate school at Emory, where you began a PhD in American History with a focus on the American expansion into the west. One evening while working an extra shift as a barista in a local coffee house, you met your DH, who came in and asked if you could exchange a $10 bill for quarters so he could use them at the laundromat next door. Since your shift was ending and you found his confusion charming (and you liked his kind eyes), you headed over with him and showed him how to use the debit machine. You never looked back, and just a year later you were married at the small chapel on campus. After you finished school, a great job offer at a small liberal arts college in Virginia brought you to the D.C. area. You taught for a while, began climbing the ladder in academia, and after a few years, finally found out that you were expecting a much wanted baby - a daughter. You and DH immediately knew you would name her Georgia. Your friends teased you at first, but they came around. After all, Georgia was where you found yourself. Georgia is now five years old, a quiet, serious child with a grace that fits her name perfectly. She insists on barrettes that match her dresses and begs you to take her to the bookstore every weekend. You and DH are constanty juggling her schedule and tripping over stacks of books, and you wouldn't have it any other way.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2013 13:57     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Amy
Zachary