Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's great that you're happy but is it not possible to have answered the question without being an obnoxious braggart?

DP. Because this is either fictional or there are huge missing pieces. Like for example 1. how does DH go back to school while you are SAH? 2. Venerated by a teenager? I don’t even have kids that old and that sounds quite unlikely.

1. Because we are not broke-ass poor and could easily pay the 100K he needed to get an eMBA without taking out a loan. I took care of home and kids while he attended school in the weekends. He also is a good earner.

2. Because we have a functional and loving home. Angry kids and teens with mental issues is not rite of passage in our household. Family dysfunction is an anomaly and not something that happens in every household - unlike what you believe and experience. My kids are loved and valued and not a burden to us, unlike most people who post here. A SAH parent gives a lot of flexibility to adjust to new realities and challenges. We were not shitting in our pants when pandemic reality set in because the household was running smoothly. Nor we resented feeding hot meals to our teens.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, a lot more sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. As a SAHM in all parameters my life improved. I am happy and grateful about how well my kids are doing and the quality of my marriage. There is no addiction, adultery and abuse in our family and we are financially well off. DH is a very good, equal, loving and appreciative partner and has no problem in taking on a lot of domestic responsibilities too. He treats me with respect and credits me with the successes in our family. I was able to help out providing support to members of our extended family too. We were just a lot more reselient as a family and could take on more.

I retained my cleaning lady from my WOHM days and then had her coming two times a week for doing other chores - food prep, help with yard, laundry, organization etc. I think that was the best thing I did to minimize any resentment on my part to do household chores, and at the same time have the house humming smoothly for the family. I credit having help as a huge impact in our happiness.
My kids ended up doing a lot of ECs, being very involved in all opportunities at school and really excelling. They are on a very good trajectory in life and we are very proud of them. I was able to provide them with a good social life, normalcy and a lot of emotional security
Our sexlife became super hot and we really have become the a more bonded and loving couple. Our net-worth and HHI increased because DH was able to go back to school and get more credentials. We have become more resilient as a family and every member is supported.

More than that, we have become very grateful for our lives. We saw marriages of two close friends destroyed (a SAHM and a WOHM, both cheated on their DHs), family became messy and kids are acting out and really doing poorly. At our age, early 50s, we want to preserve what we have instead of seeing our family, finances, standing in society, shattered. So we have found new ways to remain healthy and we prioritize one another over everyone else. We are at a very good place and I believe we have loved our journey and our accomplishments. Not saying that this is the only formula that works for everyone, but for us this has worked very well. We are ok financially and we have safeguards in place. My husband feels he is a success in all ways - career and family. I feel my success is all the human connections I have made and people I have helped - my own family, the volunteer organization I help out in and all the people around me that I have been able to help.

As a young woman, I was paranoid about being vulnerable and dependent on anyone for money. For me, earning a paycheck was very important because I felt my husband would not respect me otherwise and the power dynamics would shift. This was a valid concern and even now I will advice women to be financially dependent because you never know how your husband will behave or what life will bring you. Thankfully, in the case of DH and I, our equation did not change because I stayed home. I credit him to a great extent in my easy and comparatively effortless success as a mom, wife and a good human being.

The pandemic made us realize that our path was fantastic for us. I have one kid working from home, 1 kid applying to college, a husband who is in a job that is touching millions of life and we are thankful and life is still going on well, even with some challenges that we have faced. As for my own self-respect? I feel venerated in a pivotal role in our family and know that I was able to do well in my role as the glue that binds everyone together. I feel pretty good about myself.

It's great that you're happy but is it not possible to have answered the question without being an obnoxious braggart?

Well, I am sorry that your life is miserable. I truly am. I know misery loves company and you are triggered but I cannot lie. My life is actually pretty good. It has its challenges but blessings far outweigh the challenges.

I'm not at all miserable. Quite the contrary. I just think you sound like a bit of an asshole.

Name calling is not making a point. You are a bigger LOSER than I thought.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went a little off the rails but I thought I’d chime in to say, no, my relationship with DH didn’t change when I started SAH. And he DID marry me because of my career ambition, at least in part.

BUT he really genuinely values the work I do at home - most notably taking care of our kids, but also other things like cooking healthy meals, signing kids up for activities, arranging play dates, etc. He knows it’s hard to take care of little kids and doesn’t take it for granted.

This was how it was for me too. I think for many people the attraction to ambition is more about “how cool that this person does what they set out to do, and they do it well” rather than “how cool that this person is succeeding in a prestigious job.”

Anonymous wrote:If you can make an agreement that he’ll be an equal partner in all the domestic labor in the mornings, evenings, and weekends - sure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. As a SAHM in all parameters my life improved. I am happy and grateful about how well my kids are doing and the quality of my marriage. There is no addiction, adultery and abuse in our family and we are financially well off. DH is a very good, equal, loving and appreciative partner and has no problem in taking on a lot of domestic responsibilities too. He treats me with respect and credits me with the successes in our family. I was able to help out providing support to members of our extended family too. We were just a lot more reselient as a family and could take on more.

I retained my cleaning lady from my WOHM days and then had her coming two times a week for doing other chores - food prep, help with yard, laundry, organization etc. I think that was the best thing I did to minimize any resentment on my part to do household chores, and at the same time have the house humming smoothly for the family. I credit having help as a huge impact in our happiness.
My kids ended up doing a lot of ECs, being very involved in all opportunities at school and really excelling. They are on a very good trajectory in life and we are very proud of them. I was able to provide them with a good social life, normalcy and a lot of emotional security
Our sexlife became super hot and we really have become the a more bonded and loving couple. Our net-worth and HHI increased because DH was able to go back to school and get more credentials. We have become more resilient as a family and every member is supported.

More than that, we have become very grateful for our lives. We saw marriages of two close friends destroyed (a SAHM and a WOHM, both cheated on their DHs), family became messy and kids are acting out and really doing poorly. At our age, early 50s, we want to preserve what we have instead of seeing our family, finances, standing in society, shattered. So we have found new ways to remain healthy and we prioritize one another over everyone else. We are at a very good place and I believe we have loved our journey and our accomplishments. Not saying that this is the only formula that works for everyone, but for us this has worked very well. We are ok financially and we have safeguards in place. My husband feels he is a success in all ways - career and family. I feel my success is all the human connections I have made and people I have helped - my own family, the volunteer organization I help out in and all the people around me that I have been able to help.

As a young woman, I was paranoid about being vulnerable and dependent on anyone for money. For me, earning a paycheck was very important because I felt my husband would not respect me otherwise and the power dynamics would shift. This was a valid concern and even now I will advice women to be financially dependent because you never know how your husband will behave or what life will bring you. Thankfully, in the case of DH and I, our equation did not change because I stayed home. I credit him to a great extent in my easy and comparatively effortless success as a mom, wife and a good human being.

The pandemic made us realize that our path was fantastic for us. I have one kid working from home, 1 kid applying to college, a husband who is in a job that is touching millions of life and we are thankful and life is still going on well, even with some challenges that we have faced. As for my own self-respect? I feel venerated in a pivotal role in our family and know that I was able to do well in my role as the glue that binds everyone together. I feel pretty good about myself.

It's great that you're happy but is it not possible to have answered the question without being an obnoxious braggart?

Well, I am sorry that your life is miserable. I truly am. I know misery loves company and you are triggered but I cannot lie. My life is actually pretty good. It has its challenges but blessings far outweigh the challenges.

I'm not at all miserable. Quite the contrary. I just think you sound like a bit of an asshole.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's great that you're happy but is it not possible to have answered the question without being an obnoxious braggart?

DP. Because this is either fictional or there are huge missing pieces. Like for example 1. how does DH go back to school while you are SAH? 2. Venerated by a teenager? I don’t even have kids that old and that sounds quite unlikely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. As a SAHM in all parameters my life improved. I am happy and grateful about how well my kids are doing and the quality of my marriage. There is no addiction, adultery and abuse in our family and we are financially well off. DH is a very good, equal, loving and appreciative partner and has no problem in taking on a lot of domestic responsibilities too. He treats me with respect and credits me with the successes in our family. I was able to help out providing support to members of our extended family too. We were just a lot more reselient as a family and could take on more.

I retained my cleaning lady from my WOHM days and then had her coming two times a week for doing other chores - food prep, help with yard, laundry, organization etc. I think that was the best thing I did to minimize any resentment on my part to do household chores, and at the same time have the house humming smoothly for the family. I credit having help as a huge impact in our happiness.
My kids ended up doing a lot of ECs, being very involved in all opportunities at school and really excelling. They are on a very good trajectory in life and we are very proud of them. I was able to provide them with a good social life, normalcy and a lot of emotional security
Our sexlife became super hot and we really have become the a more bonded and loving couple. Our net-worth and HHI increased because DH was able to go back to school and get more credentials. We have become more resilient as a family and every member is supported.

More than that, we have become very grateful for our lives. We saw marriages of two close friends destroyed (a SAHM and a WOHM, both cheated on their DHs), family became messy and kids are acting out and really doing poorly. At our age, early 50s, we want to preserve what we have instead of seeing our family, finances, standing in society, shattered. So we have found new ways to remain healthy and we prioritize one another over everyone else. We are at a very good place and I believe we have loved our journey and our accomplishments. Not saying that this is the only formula that works for everyone, but for us this has worked very well. We are ok financially and we have safeguards in place. My husband feels he is a success in all ways - career and family. I feel my success is all the human connections I have made and people I have helped - my own family, the volunteer organization I help out in and all the people around me that I have been able to help.

As a young woman, I was paranoid about being vulnerable and dependent on anyone for money. For me, earning a paycheck was very important because I felt my husband would not respect me otherwise and the power dynamics would shift. This was a valid concern and even now I will advice women to be financially dependent because you never know how your husband will behave or what life will bring you. Thankfully, in the case of DH and I, our equation did not change because I stayed home. I credit him to a great extent in my easy and comparatively effortless success as a mom, wife and a good human being.

The pandemic made us realize that our path was fantastic for us. I have one kid working from home, 1 kid applying to college, a husband who is in a job that is touching millions of life and we are thankful and life is still going on well, even with some challenges that we have faced. As for my own self-respect? I feel venerated in a pivotal role in our family and know that I was able to do well in my role as the glue that binds everyone together. I feel pretty good about myself.

It's great that you're happy but is it not possible to have answered the question without being an obnoxious braggart?

Well, I am sorry that your life is miserable. I truly am. I know misery loves company and you are triggered but I cannot lie. My life is actually pretty good. It has its challenges but blessings far outweigh the challenges.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lady, you have an answer for EVERYTHING.
We get it. Your life is perfect. Your kid is perfect. Your DH is perfect. Nothing in your life will ever change no matter what decision you make.
Why the heck are you even on here????

Exactly. And then we have the SAHM-stans who come on every thread about SAH to defend their life choice. I don’t even have to click the threads any more to know what they will say.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. As a SAHM in all parameters my life improved. I am happy and grateful about how well my kids are doing and the quality of my marriage. There is no addiction, adultery and abuse in our family and we are financially well off. DH is a very good, equal, loving and appreciative partner and has no problem in taking on a lot of domestic responsibilities too. He treats me with respect and credits me with the successes in our family. I was able to help out providing support to members of our extended family too. We were just a lot more reselient as a family and could take on more.

I retained my cleaning lady from my WOHM days and then had her coming two times a week for doing other chores - food prep, help with yard, laundry, organization etc. I think that was the best thing I did to minimize any resentment on my part to do household chores, and at the same time have the house humming smoothly for the family. I credit having help as a huge impact in our happiness.
My kids ended up doing a lot of ECs, being very involved in all opportunities at school and really excelling. They are on a very good trajectory in life and we are very proud of them. I was able to provide them with a good social life, normalcy and a lot of emotional security
Our sexlife became super hot and we really have become the a more bonded and loving couple. Our net-worth and HHI increased because DH was able to go back to school and get more credentials. We have become more resilient as a family and every member is supported.

More than that, we have become very grateful for our lives. We saw marriages of two close friends destroyed (a SAHM and a WOHM, both cheated on their DHs), family became messy and kids are acting out and really doing poorly. At our age, early 50s, we want to preserve what we have instead of seeing our family, finances, standing in society, shattered. So we have found new ways to remain healthy and we prioritize one another over everyone else. We are at a very good place and I believe we have loved our journey and our accomplishments. Not saying that this is the only formula that works for everyone, but for us this has worked very well. We are ok financially and we have safeguards in place. My husband feels he is a success in all ways - career and family. I feel my success is all the human connections I have made and people I have helped - my own family, the volunteer organization I help out in and all the people around me that I have been able to help.

As a young woman, I was paranoid about being vulnerable and dependent on anyone for money. For me, earning a paycheck was very important because I felt my husband would not respect me otherwise and the power dynamics would shift. This was a valid concern and even now I will advice women to be financially dependent because you never know how your husband will behave or what life will bring you. Thankfully, in the case of DH and I, our equation did not change because I stayed home. I credit him to a great extent in my easy and comparatively effortless success as a mom, wife and a good human being.

The pandemic made us realize that our path was fantastic for us. I have one kid working from home, 1 kid applying to college, a husband who is in a job that is touching millions of life and we are thankful and life is still going on well, even with some challenges that we have faced. As for my own self-respect? I feel venerated in a pivotal role in our family and know that I was able to do well in my role as the glue that binds everyone together. I feel pretty good about myself.

It's great that you're happy but is it not possible to have answered the question without being an obnoxious braggart?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. As a SAHM in all parameters my life improved. I am happy and grateful about how well my kids are doing and the quality of my marriage. There is no addiction, adultery and abuse in our family and we are financially well off. DH is a very good, equal, loving and appreciative partner and has no problem in taking on a lot of domestic responsibilities too. He treats me with respect and credits me with the successes in our family. I was able to help out providing support to members of our extended family too. We were just a lot more reselient as a family and could take on more.

I retained my cleaning lady from my WOHM days and then had her coming two times a week for doing other chores - food prep, help with yard, laundry, organization etc. I think that was the best thing I did to minimize any resentment on my part to do household chores, and at the same time have the house humming smoothly for the family. I credit having help as a huge impact in our happiness.
My kids ended up doing a lot of ECs, being very involved in all opportunities at school and really excelling. They are on a very good trajectory in life and we are very proud of them. I was able to provide them with a good social life, normalcy and a lot of emotional security
Our sexlife became super hot and we really have become the a more bonded and loving couple. Our net-worth and HHI increased because DH was able to go back to school and get more credentials. We have become more resilient as a family and every member is supported.

More than that, we have become very grateful for our lives. We saw marriages of two close friends destroyed (a SAHM and a WOHM, both cheated on their DHs), family became messy and kids are acting out and really doing poorly. At our age, early 50s, we want to preserve what we have instead of seeing our family, finances, standing in society, shattered. So we have found new ways to remain healthy and we prioritize one another over everyone else. We are at a very good place and I believe we have loved our journey and our accomplishments. Not saying that this is the only formula that works for everyone, but for us this has worked very well. We are ok financially and we have safeguards in place. My husband feels he is a success in all ways - career and family. I feel my success is all the human connections I have made and people I have helped - my own family, the volunteer organization I help out in and all the people around me that I have been able to help.

As a young woman, I was paranoid about being vulnerable and dependent on anyone for money. For me, earning a paycheck was very important because I felt my husband would not respect me otherwise and the power dynamics would shift. This was a valid concern and even now I will advice women to be financially dependent because you never know how your husband will behave or what life will bring you. Thankfully, in the case of DH and I, our equation did not change because I stayed home. I credit him to a great extent in my easy and comparatively effortless success as a mom, wife and a good human being.

The pandemic made us realize that our path was fantastic for us. I have one kid working from home, 1 kid applying to college, a husband who is in a job that is touching millions of life and we are thankful and life is still going on well, even with some challenges that we have faced. As for my own self-respect? I feel venerated in a pivotal role in our family and know that I was able to do well in my role as the glue that binds everyone together. I feel pretty good about myself.

It's great that you're happy but is it not possible to have answered the question without being an obnoxious braggart?

Anonymous wrote:Lady, you have an answer for EVERYTHING.
We get it. Your life is perfect. Your kid is perfect. Your DH is perfect. Nothing in your life will ever change no matter what decision you make.
Why the heck are you even on here????

Anonymous wrote:Yes. As a SAHM in all parameters my life improved. I am happy and grateful about how well my kids are doing and the quality of my marriage. There is no addiction, adultery and abuse in our family and we are financially well off. DH is a very good, equal, loving and appreciative partner and has no problem in taking on a lot of domestic responsibilities too. He treats me with respect and credits me with the successes in our family. I was able to help out providing support to members of our extended family too. We were just a lot more reselient as a family and could take on more.

I retained my cleaning lady from my WOHM days and then had her coming two times a week for doing other chores - food prep, help with yard, laundry, organization etc. I think that was the best thing I did to minimize any resentment on my part to do household chores, and at the same time have the house humming smoothly for the family. I credit having help as a huge impact in our happiness.
My kids ended up doing a lot of ECs, being very involved in all opportunities at school and really excelling. They are on a very good trajectory in life and we are very proud of them. I was able to provide them with a good social life, normalcy and a lot of emotional security
Our sexlife became super hot and we really have become the a more bonded and loving couple. Our net-worth and HHI increased because DH was able to go back to school and get more credentials. We have become more resilient as a family and every member is supported.

More than that, we have become very grateful for our lives. We saw marriages of two close friends destroyed (a SAHM and a WOHM, both cheated on their DHs), family became messy and kids are acting out and really doing poorly. At our age, early 50s, we want to preserve what we have instead of seeing our family, finances, standing in society, shattered. So we have found new ways to remain healthy and we prioritize one another over everyone else. We are at a very good place and I believe we have loved our journey and our accomplishments. Not saying that this is the only formula that works for everyone, but for us this has worked very well. We are ok financially and we have safeguards in place. My husband feels he is a success in all ways - career and family. I feel my success is all the human connections I have made and people I have helped - my own family, the volunteer organization I help out in and all the people around me that I have been able to help.

As a young woman, I was paranoid about being vulnerable and dependent on anyone for money. For me, earning a paycheck was very important because I felt my husband would not respect me otherwise and the power dynamics would shift. This was a valid concern and even now I will advice women to be financially dependent because you never know how your husband will behave or what life will bring you. Thankfully, in the case of DH and I, our equation did not change because I stayed home. I credit him to a great extent in my easy and comparatively effortless success as a mom, wife and a good human being.

The pandemic made us realize that our path was fantastic for us. I have one kid working from home, 1 kid applying to college, a husband who is in a job that is touching millions of life and we are thankful and life is still going on well, even with some challenges that we have faced. As for my own self-respect? I feel venerated in a pivotal role in our family and know that I was able to do well in my role as the glue that binds everyone together. I feel pretty good about myself.