OP we totally feel you. I made a post earlier on this forum about my kid at a T10 school not doing very well in his classes or getting involved in extracurriculars and research because he stopped hitting the gas pedal once he got to college. He just received his last rejection from the dozens of summer internships he applied to and it looks like he'll have to work a retail or camp counselor job this summer. Super disappointing.

Moral of the story: If you're full pay at an Ivy but making huge financial sacrifices to pay for it like us (DH and I moved halfway across the country to a much lower COL area where we rent a crappy two-bedroom apartment while renting our house back in our old state for extra money), it's probably not worth it. And make sure your kid is organized and motivated enough to take advantage of all their school has to offer. Ours got a lot lazier after coming to his elite college and it's been a pretty big embarrassment ever since.

Anonymous wrote:Most Ivy kids know that 99.5% of people who will hire them never went to an ivy. They are a lot humbler than what this thread portrays them as. And many had humble beginnings to begin with to really appreciate and to be grateful for the opportunities they were given.

If DCUM is anything to go by, Ivy alums are nastily elitist, insanely pretentious and prejudiced against schools they deem beneath them.

i also agree that attending an "elite" school is in no way required for success. Our choice in sending out child to a top 10ish full pay SLAC had more to do with the idea that these 4 years are a bridge between living at home and being an independent adult. This school has a particular philosophy that meshes with values we've tried to instill as parents. This was also our child's first choice among the options (probably because of the prestige more than the philosophy). It is a supportive, small environment. We could afford it because we've had 529 plans for many years, and live in a modest house and my spouse doesn't spend any $$ (made easier because the pandemic curtailed MY spending.). So far no regrets, although when the request for help paying for grad school comes along, I think we'll point out that we've already paid enough!

Most Ivy kids know that 99.5% of people who will hire them never went to an ivy. They are a lot humbler than what this thread portrays them as. And many had humble beginnings to begin with to really appreciate and to be grateful for the opportunities they were given.

Alum of an "elite" college here. I don't think I got anything out of it in terms of connections with rich people (people go to college to meet rich spouses in this day and age? Really?!) but I did get a ton out of it in terms of really, truly excellent classes and instructors and peers.

I also think that the network helped just because employers in my field have heard of my school and are impressed by it, and the school helped arrange large recruiting events with well-paying companies. Once I was at my first job, of course, it was on me to keep working hard, and after that first job, the university name doesn't really matter at all.

In the working world, there are many, many successful and brilliant people who didn't go to "elite" schools. I don't think my success is predicated on where I went to school, and would it be worth full pay college loans at current tuition rates? I don't think so. I think you can get a great education at lots of schools and it's not worth going to an "elite" school unless you think the specific things you can learn there that you can elsewhere (e.g. PhD with a specific professor in your field, rare major not available at most schools, specific cultural support/vibe that works for you).

Op’s post is helpful. I’ve been feeling bitter myself because we’re in the donut hole and have to pay full pay for all college, which means if my kids went to elite schools it would drain our bank accounts. So I’m relieved to know maybe my kids won’t be missing out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I work in finance and I routinely come across very highly paid people (high six or seven figures) who did not go to “top” colleges.

I’m Gen X but even most of the millennials we employ don’t come from tippy top colleges. Some do but most don’t.

So I’m always wondering why my experience of the world is so different from what “they” say. I made over 800k last year. I consider myself to be Avery successful. No one cares where I went to college.

But do you want to chat with people in the high $ party you are going that you spent 4 years of your youth at Harvard or you went to Podunk University?

What kinds of parties do you go to where people ask that??

I haven’t been asked about college in years. I’m in my 40s.

seriously. if i'm at a party and someone asks me where i went to college, i'll know something has gone very, very wrong. so boring.

Actually, it has been my experience that most people who went to Ivy league schools find a way to bring it up in every conversation. My friends and I joke about it all the time.

You are going to boring parties.

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a very helpful post. Helping us not go crazy at this application season! Not worth it. Go somewhere you like that’s affordable and at the end of the day you’ll be fine. Thanks, OP

+1.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I work in finance and I routinely come across very highly paid people (high six or seven figures) who did not go to “top” colleges.

I’m Gen X but even most of the millennials we employ don’t come from tippy top colleges. Some do but most don’t.

So I’m always wondering why my experience of the world is so different from what “they” say. I made over 800k last year. I consider myself to be Avery successful. No one cares where I went to college.

But do you want to chat with people in the high $ party you are going that you spent 4 years of your youth at Harvard or you went to Podunk University?

What utter nonsense! No one cares where you went to college and it doesn’t even come up in conversations.

So you would push your kids to go to a CC and invest the difference?

Oh no. The it doesn’t matter where crowd draws the line at CC’s. Suddenly it matters a lot.

Students transfer from CC to 4 years Colleges all the time
Even UAV have transfer program with VA CC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I work in finance and I routinely come across very highly paid people (high six or seven figures) who did not go to “top” colleges.

I’m Gen X but even most of the millennials we employ don’t come from tippy top colleges. Some do but most don’t.

So I’m always wondering why my experience of the world is so different from what “they” say. I made over 800k last year. I consider myself to be Avery successful. No one cares where I went to college.

But do you want to chat with people in the high $ party you are going that you spent 4 years of your youth at Harvard or you went to Podunk University?

What kinds of parties do you go to where people ask that??

I haven’t been asked about college in years. I’m in my 40s.

seriously. if i'm at a party and someone asks me where i went to college, i'll know something has gone very, very wrong. so boring.

Actually, it has been my experience that most people who went to Ivy league schools find a way to bring it up in every conversation. My friends and I joke about it all the time.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree with you that it may be too early to tell. See how it plays out in the future in terms of grad school acceptances, job interviews, job offers, etc.

This. I got my first job out of undergrad and my first job out of law school through people I met at events hosted by my undergrad's alumni association. Regardless of where your kid goes to school, they should be working on their relationships with their classmates and staying connected after graduation. You never know when it will pay off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I work in finance and I routinely come across very highly paid people (high six or seven figures) who did not go to “top” colleges.

I’m Gen X but even most of the millennials we employ don’t come from tippy top colleges. Some do but most don’t.

So I’m always wondering why my experience of the world is so different from what “they” say. I made over 800k last year. I consider myself to be Avery successful. No one cares where I went to college.

But do you want to chat with people in the high $ party you are going that you spent 4 years of your youth at Harvard or you went to Podunk University?

What utter nonsense! No one cares where you went to college and it doesn’t even come up in conversations.

In your circle people only chat about $$$, and everyone knows how much each other is making? Is there anything else in your life that is other than $$$?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I work in finance and I routinely come across very highly paid people (high six or seven figures) who did not go to “top” colleges.

I’m Gen X but even most of the millennials we employ don’t come from tippy top colleges. Some do but most don’t.

So I’m always wondering why my experience of the world is so different from what “they” say. I made over 800k last year. I consider myself to be Avery successful. No one cares where I went to college.

But do you want to chat with people in the high $ party you are going that you spent 4 years of your youth at Harvard or you went to Podunk University?

What utter nonsense! No one cares where you went to college and it doesn’t even come up in conversations.

So you would push your kids to go to a CC and invest the difference?

Oh no. The it doesn’t matter where crowd draws the line at CC’s. Suddenly it matters a lot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I work in finance and I routinely come across very highly paid people (high six or seven figures) who did not go to “top” colleges.

I’m Gen X but even most of the millennials we employ don’t come from tippy top colleges. Some do but most don’t.

So I’m always wondering why my experience of the world is so different from what “they” say. I made over 800k last year. I consider myself to be Avery successful. No one cares where I went to college.

But do you want to chat with people in the high $ party you are going that you spent 4 years of your youth at Harvard or you went to Podunk University?

What utter nonsense! No one cares where you went to college and it doesn’t even come up in conversations.

So you would push your kids to go to a CC and invest the difference?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I work in finance and I routinely come across very highly paid people (high six or seven figures) who did not go to “top” colleges.

I’m Gen X but even most of the millennials we employ don’t come from tippy top colleges. Some do but most don’t.

So I’m always wondering why my experience of the world is so different from what “they” say. I made over 800k last year. I consider myself to be Avery successful. No one cares where I went to college.

But do you want to chat with people in the high $ party you are going that you spent 4 years of your youth at Harvard or you went to Podunk University?

What kinds of parties do you go to where people ask that??

I haven’t been asked about college in years. I’m in my 40s.

seriously. if i'm at a party and someone asks me where i went to college, i'll know something has gone very, very wrong. so boring.