Anonymous wrote:So much hardship (I know not all but a LOT) could be avoided if people just used birth control.... just sayin

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand OP’s assertions that many are out of touch, but I never get on here to boast about HHI and net worth, which by the way HHI doesn’t define if you are rich especially if you are buried in debt. I came from an UMC family. DH came from a LMC family that would have not been if they hadn’t lived on his paternal grandparents property growing up. My DH had no college loans because his parents would not fill out the forms. He started working at 12. His mom would take/steal his money for groceries and make him feel bad about him having cash when his parents didn’t. My DH has never bought a brand new car. He had no financial help from anyone to get where he is today. I am not expecting anyone to congratulate him or us, but he work damm hard and still does. His job is 24/7. He owns the company and is hands on with all of his customers. His privilege is himself...hard working, studied hard, tight with money, recognizes needs not wants. When people see where we live or find out where we vacation they have no understanding of the backstory of how we got to this point. We have never and will never flaunt it, but I can be proud of someone who had zero help. I am a pay it forward person. I volunteer and I have paid for camp for a friend of my child that otherwise would not have been able to attend because of financial need. Yes, there is a lot of entitlement here, but there are a lot of people who are scrappers and grinders who did what it took to get where they are today.

Do you act entitled? That is the part I have a problem with (mostly because of my backstory).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:" 30s buying million + dollar homes, people who are 40 years old and already 401(k) millionaires, people who have funded their future kids' college education "

That me but I'm self-made. My parents came to the United States as immigrants with $5 in their pocket. I learned hard work from them and started working at very early age and continue to do so today at the age of 41. Nothing was handed to us, no inheritance, no nothing. A lot of folks don't understand what they have here in the United States. It truly is the land of opportunity. A lof of us were not born with a gold spoon and have actually worked really hard for where we are today!

Great. Awesome for you. None of what you said contradicts at all the reality that you are not struggling the way that millions of people in this country are struggling. The ideal that this is "the land of opportunities" is inaccurate. There are a lot of opportunities. There are also a lot of systems that trap people in poverty. I also didn't have any of the things that you didn't have when I was growing up. I worked for everything I have, starting when I was 15 years old. But I also understand that there are a lot of people who could work 20 hours a day and still not have a meaningfully different life than their parents or grandparents.

Your success does not mean that American meritocracy is real. Your success does not mean that this country does not have a moral wealth crisis.

Anonymous wrote:OP Yes I realize 100%

My group of friends has no clue.

The Pandemic has made me take stock in who is in my friend group. what I choose to spend my money on and how to help others.

I was extremely selfish before trying to be better.

We can only focus on ourselves.

Anonymous wrote:I can understand OP’s assertions that many are out of touch, but I never get on here to boast about HHI and net worth, which by the way HHI doesn’t define if you are rich especially if you are buried in debt. I came from an UMC family. DH came from a LMC family that would have not been if they hadn’t lived on his paternal grandparents property growing up. My DH had no college loans because his parents would not fill out the forms. He started working at 12. His mom would take/steal his money for groceries and make him feel bad about him having cash when his parents didn’t. My DH has never bought a brand new car. He had no financial help from anyone to get where he is today. I am not expecting anyone to congratulate him or us, but he work damm hard and still does. His job is 24/7. He owns the company and is hands on with all of his customers. His privilege is himself...hard working, studied hard, tight with money, recognizes needs not wants. When people see where we live or find out where we vacation they have no understanding of the backstory of how we got to this point. We have never and will never flaunt it, but I can be proud of someone who had zero help. I am a pay it forward person. I volunteer and I have paid for camp for a friend of my child that otherwise would not have been able to attend because of financial need. Yes, there is a lot of entitlement here, but there are a lot of people who are scrappers and grinders who did what it took to get where they are today.

Anonymous wrote:I can understand OP’s assertions that many are out of touch, but I never get on here to boast about HHI and net worth, which by the way HHI doesn’t define if you are rich especially if you are buried in debt. I came from an UMC family. DH came from a LMC family that would have not been if they hadn’t lived on his paternal grandparents property growing up. My DH had no college loans because his parents would not fill out the forms. He started working at 12. His mom would take/steal his money for groceries and make him feel bad about him having cash when his parents didn’t. My DH has never bought a brand new car. He had no financial help from anyone to get where he is today. I am not expecting anyone to congratulate him or us, but he work damm hard and still does. His job is 24/7. He owns the company and is hands on with all of his customers. His privilege is himself...hard working, studied hard, tight with money, recognizes needs not wants. When people see where we live or find out where we vacation they have no understanding of the backstory of how we got to this point. We have never and will never flaunt it, but I can be proud of someone who had zero help. I am a pay it forward person. I volunteer and I have paid for camp for a friend of my child that otherwise would not have been able to attend because of financial need. Yes, there is a lot of entitlement here, but there are a lot of people who are scrappers and grinders who did what it took to get where they are today.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Living in American is privilege in itself. Folks really need to travel overseas to get a true appreciation for what they have here.

Also, handouts never worked and never will work. The more you give the more people want. People wonder how "immigrants" have done so well to include cars, homes and wealth. That's because most don't expect the government to bail them out. Even working 2-3 jobs they will make more than they ever would back home!

I was in Sweden a few years ago. I definitely did not come back here with an appreciation for much of anything except cheaper clothing.

So how do countries like Germany, Denmark, etc. still succeed while supporting their people? Why aren't we comparing ourselves to them?

I’m from a Nordic country and the Nordic countries do it with oil wealth, which is ultimately not sustainable because that money will run out, that’s why there’s such a drive to invest in other industries. Inequality is definitely growing there, look at the latest poverty numbers there. There’s also a huge pressure to conform. Every lives the same way, dresses the same, drives the same car. If someone gets a fancy car, they’re looked down upon. Immigrants trying to practice their own customs? Better assimilate as quickly as possible. Black people? My relatives are all closet racists that make people in the Southern US look quaint. Comparing tiny countries with very similar people to the diversity and size of the US makes no sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Living in American is privilege in itself. Folks really need to travel overseas to get a true appreciation for what they have here.

Also, handouts never worked and never will work. The more you give the more people want. People wonder how "immigrants" have done so well to include cars, homes and wealth. That's because most don't expect the government to bail them out. Even working 2-3 jobs they will make more than they ever would back home!

I was in Sweden a few years ago. I definitely did not come back here with an appreciation for much of anything except cheaper clothing.

So how do countries like Germany, Denmark, etc. still succeed while supporting their people? Why aren't we comparing ourselves to them?

I’m from a Nordic country and the Nordic countries do it with oil wealth, which is ultimately not sustainable because that money will run out, that’s why there’s such a drive to invest in other industries. Inequality is definitely growing there, look at the latest poverty numbers there. There’s also a huge pressure to conform. Every lives the same way, dresses the same, drives the same car. If someone gets a fancy car, they’re looked down upon. Immigrants trying to practice their own customs? Better assimilate as quickly as possible. Black people? My relatives are all closet racists that make people in the Southern US look quaint. Comparing tiny countries with very similar people to the diversity and size of the US makes no sense.

+1. I'm from Germany and all the high achievers I know from school immigrated to or want to be in the US for better career opportunities. Also, serious lack of diversity in Germany -- the strong social nets only work because the beneficiaries are mostly other white Germans. Look what happened during the refugee crisis in Europe -- no countries wanted to accept them and provide them with the benefits.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just dropping in here to say that this forum makes me want to vomit. Especially here.

All this talk of people in their 30s buying million + dollar homes, people who are 40 years old and already 401(k) millionaires, people who have funded their future kids' college education while talking down to those who struggle to pay back their student loans only hoping for a break someday, people here bemoaning the budget constraints of a HHI of "only" $200K, people with investment properties, people with investments, period. Do you not understand that the average American cannot withstand a $500 emergency? That there is an eviction crisis in this country? That medical debt makes people wonder if their life-saving medical treatments are even worth the "life" they get to live afterwards? How one economic downturn can render a hardworking family penniless and homeless? That the AVERAGE household income yes IN THE DC AREA is far, FAR below the individual salaries thrown about in these discussions and that yes, AVERAGE and, gasp, below average HHI families need a place to live too? Two hour commutes each way be damned, "go move somewhere you can afford!"

I completely understand why people made guillotine memes in response to the proposed $600 stimulus checks this winter. And guess what, $1400 is not enough either. I hope all of you out of touch privileged people are taxed so hard your eyes bleed. You people are the swamp everybody else loves to hate. We need to tax the rich into oblivion and collectivize their assets, I swear to god. Don't EVER try to justify your cushy job as having "Earned" your right to complain about property taxes on your second investment property when this country operates like the Third World when trying to meet other people's basic needs.

What do you want me to do about it? Cry in my pillow tonight because I'm well off?

Anonymous wrote:One of my main goals in reading DCUM is to find out all the secret things rich people think that are all unknown to me because I didn’t grow up among them, but now live among them due to a confluence of hard work and luck.
As just one example, I learned about this brand called Tory Burch that supposedly all the rich suburbanites wear. It seems a total rip off to me but shortly after reading that I was at a PTA meeting and the women next to me had matching Tori Burch shoes and purse! I never would have known that it was a thing and now I see them everywhere (well, maybe less now). The funny part is that I accidentally dropped half a muffin in her bag because she left it open on the floor between our seats and my plate of snacks wobbled. I felt bad but also wasn’t quite willing to stop her after the meeting and admit I dropped a muffin in her bag. If you are reading, rich neighbor, I’m sorry.