Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband sucks. I’d still hire a new nanny.

They all suck, except the nanny. I think the “friend” sucks most, stirring up drama, acting like it was an innocent slip. She sucker punched OP and kicked her while she was down, hitting at OP’s obvious insecurity about not being as attractive as the nanny and by planting seeds of doubt about OP’s husband. It’s sad that she’d want to use an innocent woman and risk affecting OP’s children (at a minimum by changing nannies, worst case leading to marriage problems/unhappy household/eventual divorce) to make herself feel like a big person.

I’d distance myself from this friend and warm DH that everything he tells his friend, friend tells wife, and wife tells OP. Unless “friend’s” plan worked and now OP wants to hear what else DH has to say, filtered through a few other people, to try to trap him and prove he thinks obvious thoughts. But I don’t like drama, so I don’t hang around gossipy people who create problems. I already have anxiety, and it’s too easy to get sucked into negate thought patters. I’m much happier without it, and I truly think most people would be if they cut the crap too.

Real truth right here

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband sucks. I’d still hire a new nanny.

They all suck, except the nanny. I think the “friend” sucks most, stirring up drama, acting like it was an innocent slip. She sucker punched OP and kicked her while she was down, hitting at OP’s obvious insecurity about not being as attractive as the nanny and by planting seeds of doubt about OP’s husband. It’s sad that she’d want to use an innocent woman and risk affecting OP’s children (at a minimum by changing nannies, worst case leading to marriage problems/unhappy household/eventual divorce) to make herself feel like a big person.

I’d distance myself from this friend and warm DH that everything he tells his friend, friend tells wife, and wife tells OP. Unless “friend’s” plan worked and now OP wants to hear what else DH has to say, filtered through a few other people, to try to trap him and prove he thinks obvious thoughts. But I don’t like drama, so I don’t hang around gossipy people who create problems. I already have anxiety, and it’s too easy to get sucked into negate thought patters. I’m much happier without it, and I truly think most people would be if they cut the crap too.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are 40 and have two twin boys who are 2. We have a nanny who is honestly fantastic and quite pretty, she's 28.

One of my friends (DH's best friends wife) came over right as the nanny was leaving and briefly said hello to her. Her and I continued to chat and she made a comment "she's as hot as Chris (fake name for DH) described her."

I looked pretty shocked when she said that. She apologized extensively and mentioned my husband Chris has told her husband that we have a really hot nanny. She continued to assure me nothing fishy was up it was just the guys talking.


I feel really hurt. Obviously it's because I'm insecure because she's clearly attractive and 10 years younger than me. Should I bring it up to him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When women wonder why they face discrimination, I point to this. It's women doing it to each other. You want to fire a woman just because she is more attractive than you. Cray cray.

Who needs the patriarchy

My HR director at my biglaw firm will lot hire attractive young women to work as legal assistants or paralegals for male partners. For this exact reason that OP says. Their wives complain

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you are gross for objectifying her like that. I bet she’d be mortified to learn of the gossip.

Hot women know they’re hot. Half of the energy spent is trying to downplay the hotness because it unnecessarily threatens people like OP. Hot nanny can’t help that she’s hot.

^This is true.

Anonymous wrote:Your husband sucks. I’d still hire a new nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you are gross for objectifying her like that. I bet she’d be mortified to learn of the gossip.

Hot women know they’re hot. Half of the energy spent is trying to downplay the hotness because it unnecessarily threatens people like OP. Hot nanny can’t help that she’s hot.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bring it up to him. You both know she is pretty. He had enough sense to not make a distasteful comment to you directly about it.

Him telling a male friend the nanny is hot is just talk between friends. If we had a hot pool boy and I mentioned it to a girlfriend I wouldn’t expect my husband to be miffed. I don’t think he would care what so ever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I never said this in my post about considering firing her. That is outrageous.

I'm asking for advice if this is worth bringing up to my DH??

Yes. He needs a filter. Talking about someone other than his wife in a sexual way to others is inappropriate/bad judgment. Sure, he can find her attractive (after all, she is), but calling her “hot” ups the creep factor. That’s just not a way a married man should be talking about his nanny, nor is it the way an employer should be talking about his employee.

Ding ding ding. This is the correct answer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I never said this in my post about considering firing her. That is outrageous.

I'm asking for advice if this is worth bringing up to my DH??

Yes. He needs a filter. Talking about someone other than his wife in a sexual way to others is inappropriate/bad judgment. Sure, he can find her attractive (after all, she is), but calling her “hot” ups the creep factor. That’s just not a way a married man should be talking about his nanny, nor is it the way an employer should be talking about his employee.

Anonymous wrote:When women wonder why they face discrimination, I point to this. It's women doing it to each other. You want to fire a woman just because she is more attractive than you. Cray cray.

Who needs the patriarchy