Anonymous
12/18/2020 11:22
Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:OP, newly married and really struggling my husband bought me an $80 white blouse. This was 30 yrs ago ~ $80. Plain. White. Blouse.
Because I had said I needed a white blouse
Op, you could have far bigger problems. Do not be mean to him about this. Maybe he has some anxiety about selecting gifts. Maybe he can't relate to your wants or understand your mindset. Sounds like you are expecting too much, him being in sync -too much-
Btw, he probably doesn't value the renovations, not like you do.
Pp the difference is you asked for the white blouse. What if you asked for that and he gave you expensive fishing waders that you did not want or ask for? Do u see the difference?
Anonymous
12/18/2020 11:22
Subject: Re:I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:I can't get over how unappreciative some of you are! Everything doesn't have to be practical, planned, and requested by you. I love receiving special, surprise gifts that my husband has picked out. We both do that.
Unfortunately, for families who face budget constraints, then yes, everything does need to be planned to stay within a certain budget.
Anonymous
12/18/2020 11:19
Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:Gifts between couples are different. They just are. I agree that up to a certain cash amount you should just suck it up and be grateful your spouse was thinking about you. So, smile say thank you for the ugly sweater or roses you’re indifferent about. But this is not a $50 gift or even a $500 gift — I think that would be my limit for showing appreciation for something unwanted.
This is a $5,000 “gift”!!!!!
This means that this gift is actively taking away from things she wants AND needs!!! At this amount it’s redirecting family HHI away from things you need to fulfill the man’s emotional needs. I would not be okay with that.
This. It's 5k, not a few hundred bucks where you could suck it up. It's a lot of money, I'd be upset too.
Anonymous
12/18/2020 11:18
Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
I'm guessing 5K is not that much to this couple.
He probably saw efficiency in one-and-done gift giving. Easier.
He probably saw efficiency in one-and-done gift giving. Easier.
Anonymous
12/18/2020 11:17
Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
I would be pissed too. I really don’t care about jewelry, and would much rather spend the money on an experience.
Anonymous
12/18/2020 11:16
Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Well, all of DCUM needs to be more direct about that, because otherwise all seem like really b*tches.
Anonymous
12/18/2020 11:14
Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, newly married and really struggling my husband bought me an $80 white blouse. This was 30 yrs ago ~ $80. Plain. White. Blouse.
Because I had said I needed a white blouse
Op, you could have far bigger problems. Do not be mean to him about this. Maybe he has some anxiety about selecting gifts. Maybe he can't relate to your wants or understand your mindset. Sounds like you are expecting too much, him being in sync -too much-
Btw, he probably doesn't value the renovations, not like you do.
OP here - I am being very very kind and appreciative. Definitely not mean.
He's the one who wants the renovations and talks about them all the time; I feel like they can wait.
Op, the behavior you’ve described is far from very kind and appreciative.
I am expressing my private thoughts and feelings in this anonymous forum. I have not shared any of them with my husband.
According to what you’ve told us here, you told him the earrings are uncomfortable and you would like to return, learned how much he paid and the store’s return policy.
Anonymous
12/18/2020 11:12
Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, newly married and really struggling my husband bought me an $80 white blouse. This was 30 yrs ago ~ $80. Plain. White. Blouse.
Because I had said I needed a white blouse
Op, you could have far bigger problems. Do not be mean to him about this. Maybe he has some anxiety about selecting gifts. Maybe he can't relate to your wants or understand your mindset. Sounds like you are expecting too much, him being in sync -too much-
Btw, he probably doesn't value the renovations, not like you do.
OP here - I am being very very kind and appreciative. Definitely not mean.
He's the one who wants the renovations and talks about them all the time; I feel like they can wait.
Op, the behavior you’ve described is far from very kind and appreciative.
I am expressing my private thoughts and feelings in this anonymous forum. I have not shared any of them with my husband.
Anonymous
12/18/2020 11:12
Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Gifts between couples are different. They just are. I agree that up to a certain cash amount you should just suck it up and be grateful your spouse was thinking about you. So, smile say thank you for the ugly sweater or roses you’re indifferent about. But this is not a $50 gift or even a $500 gift — I think that would be my limit for showing appreciation for something unwanted.
This is a $5,000 “gift”!!!!!
This means that this gift is actively taking away from things she wants AND needs!!! At this amount it’s redirecting family HHI away from things you need to fulfill the man’s emotional needs. I would not be okay with that.
This is a $5,000 “gift”!!!!!
This means that this gift is actively taking away from things she wants AND needs!!! At this amount it’s redirecting family HHI away from things you need to fulfill the man’s emotional needs. I would not be okay with that.
Anonymous
12/18/2020 11:02
Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, newly married and really struggling my husband bought me an $80 white blouse. This was 30 yrs ago ~ $80. Plain. White. Blouse.
Because I had said I needed a white blouse
Op, you could have far bigger problems. Do not be mean to him about this. Maybe he has some anxiety about selecting gifts. Maybe he can't relate to your wants or understand your mindset. Sounds like you are expecting too much, him being in sync -too much-
Btw, he probably doesn't value the renovations, not like you do.
OP here - I am being very very kind and appreciative. Definitely not mean.
He's the one who wants the renovations and talks about them all the time; I feel like they can wait.
Op, the behavior you’ve described is far from very kind and appreciative.
Anonymous
12/18/2020 11:01
Subject: Re:I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
This thread has been really eye opening to me and helps me understand the “Dh wants to divorce out of the blue” threads. So many posters are unwilling to either treat others with kindness or see the purpose of the gift as anything other than perfectly meeting the wants of the recipient.
And agree, op and her husband probably need some outside help working through the different ways they view money, but important to realize that different doesn’t mean either of them is wrong.
And agree, op and her husband probably need some outside help working through the different ways they view money, but important to realize that different doesn’t mean either of them is wrong.
Anonymous
12/18/2020 10:57
Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Anonymous wrote:OP, newly married and really struggling my husband bought me an $80 white blouse. This was 30 yrs ago ~ $80. Plain. White. Blouse.
Because I had said I needed a white blouse
Op, you could have far bigger problems. Do not be mean to him about this. Maybe he has some anxiety about selecting gifts. Maybe he can't relate to your wants or understand your mindset. Sounds like you are expecting too much, him being in sync -too much-
Btw, he probably doesn't value the renovations, not like you do.
OP here - I am being very very kind and appreciative. Definitely not mean.
He's the one who wants the renovations and talks about them all the time; I feel like they can wait.
Anonymous
12/18/2020 10:54
Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
OP, newly married and really struggling my husband bought me an $80 white blouse. This was 30 yrs ago ~ $80. Plain. White. Blouse.
Because I had said I needed a white blouse
Op, you could have far bigger problems. Do not be mean to him about this. Maybe he has some anxiety about selecting gifts. Maybe he can't relate to your wants or understand your mindset. Sounds like you are expecting too much, him being in sync -too much-
Btw, he probably doesn't value the renovations, not like you do.
Because I had said I needed a white blouse
Op, you could have far bigger problems. Do not be mean to him about this. Maybe he has some anxiety about selecting gifts. Maybe he can't relate to your wants or understand your mindset. Sounds like you are expecting too much, him being in sync -too much-
Btw, he probably doesn't value the renovations, not like you do.
Anonymous
12/18/2020 10:48
Subject: I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
It's your husband who needs an attitude adjustment
Anonymous
12/18/2020 10:46
Subject: Re:I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.
Aren’t there ethical concerns with diamonds as well? Isn’t this DCUM?