Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You lost me at “sweet yogurt” and “mostly sweets like snack bars and granola bars.” Yogurt and granola bars are fine snacks for kids. As long as they’re not gorging themselves or spoiling their appetites for mealtime, give them a little latitude.

I think that the OP means that they might be eating too many snacks and spoiling their appetites for mealtimes. So what then?

Yeah this is what my tweens do. I let them eat whatever snacks they want though.

Are there people who eat dessert after dinner every night? This is fascinating.

I can’t read this whole thread because it distresses me, but:

Make a ‘yes basket’. You stock it with fruit, veggies, whatever you feel comfortable with, and kids can eat as much as they want whenever they want from the basket.

I grew up with very limited and healthy food - my mother was on the no process food bandwagon way back in the 70s. As soon as I was able to choose things in my own (ie lunch at school) I would make terrible choices. Eventually I matured and and pretty healthy now, but definitely there were years of not great eating.

So, I haven’t restricted much with my own kids because I don’t think restriction sets up a good long term pattern. I do provide them a healthy lunch and dinner (breakfast is usually simple) and they are at ridiculously healthy weights / good activity level. But, I let them buy sugary and salty snacks. I also try to bake a couple of times a week. I find they are pretty good with self regulating. They will eat the sugary stuff for sure, but they don’t over consume, it’s not surprising that they say they are too full for dessert or snack after dinner. I am sure many DCUMs would criticize our daily diets but again, we are all healthy weights, no health issues, no cavities, and active so I’m not stressed.

Anonymous wrote:Not totally on topic but if you have good junk food around and available, your kids’ friends will want to hang at your house. That is a plus- then I can get to know their friends and get a sense of what’s going on. And the kale and blueberry kids are always so pathetically grateful it’s sweet. I also have kale and blueberries around, mind you, but I also have Cheetos and Peppridge Farms cookies in the snack drawer.

It also helps if you have a huge basement or attic where they can hang out. We don't have one so no matter how good the food there was no space to hang out away from us! And they weren't doing anything "bad" but, I wish I had bought one with a basement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cracking up at how many of you think a granola bar is junk food.

I mean, it’s definitely not a health food. It’s highly processed, and many are full of sugar.

Go away, you disordered orthorexic fool.

Haha, joke’s on you! I’m eating a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich as I type. But I’m not fooling myself that it’s good for me. And neither are granola bars. They’re just marketed as a healthier alternative to pastries or cookies. Too bad, so sad.

Dp I agree with you pp. I learned this while in a Diabetes prevention program.

Not totally on topic but if you have good junk food around and available, your kids’ friends will want to hang at your house. That is a plus- then I can get to know their friends and get a sense of what’s going on. And the kale and blueberry kids are always so pathetically grateful it’s sweet. I also have kale and blueberries around, mind you, but I also have Cheetos and Peppridge Farms cookies in the snack drawer.

Anonymous wrote:Our main rule is no snacks after 4pm so they don't spoil their appetite for dinner.

Outside of that my kids (11 and 9) have unlimited access to fruit/vegetables, nuts, cereal, oatmeal, cheese, cold cuts, bread/tortillas, eggs, yogurt, and any past dinner leftovers. They are also responsible for their own breakfast and lunch, and fend for themselves from the above options.

We don't keep sugary cereals or true junk food around at all. We have things like chocolates and ice cream, and those are the only thing that's not a "free access" option. If I ever get things for a specific recipe that I don't want them to eat, I will warn them or put a post-it note on.

This is how we’ve always done it too. If I don’t want them to eat it, I don’t buy it. Everything else is open to them whether it’s “balanced” for the day or not. With the exception of Z bars - I do have a “one Z bar a day rule” because if I didn’t my 8 year old would have 5. Cutting off snacks at 4pm is the only way to ensure anyone eats dinner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if issues like this lead to the many "how do I find pants with a 24 inch waist and 34 inseam" threads. My sister controlled her son's food intake and he was never allowed to eat more as he got older. He was 6'2 and 120 pounds (also had constipation issues). You can't feed a growing kid as if they are a 40 year woman who is on a permanently calorie restricted diet.

My DD worked at a Sweetgreen and saw a mom go ballistic when her kid asked for strawberries on a salad because he was going to have fruit later.

OP here . I definitely mentioned nothing about restricting the amount they eat. They eat massive meals when hungry. Plate and plates of lasagna, bowls of oatmeal, my son will put back two or three of those little raspberry packs in a matter of minutes. They are very well fed nourished kids, and we never restrict how much they eat at meals. But we have always had rules about when they can snack and actively guides food choices. I was looking for advice on increasing g independent on this matter while considering other issues and teaching them food habits. All you people coming out streaming and calling me mentally ill and imagining I’m starving my kids. WTF

OP, I think people are responding to this, and you reporting in your OP the way you micromanage snack choices for children who are not 3 year olds. Just buy a variety snack food that you are ok with them eating and then let them have free access to it. That is how they will learn to regulate. I mean, yes, it is kind of rude to the person cooking to have a huge snack right before a meal that ruins your appetite, but other than that, let them figure it out. If they eat too many crackers, buy less. If they are too lazy to wash fruit, get bananas and clementines, or have a bowl of washed fruit sitting out.

+1. By 12, DS was going on his bike to chipotle for a burrito bowl with friends for an afternoon snack. He still ate dinner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For other parents of 10 - 13 year old boys, are you really finding that if you let your kids snack, they don't come to meals hungry?

This was a concern for me when my kids were little, but honestly, I think that my 10 and 13 year olds could eat an entire meal at 6 p.m. and if I served a second meal at 7:00 they'd eat just the same.

Most 13-year-olds, boys in particular, can eat a horse and then eat a cow 2 hours later. We have rail frail wasps here projecting their own food issues onto their kids. It comes out of fear that another wasp frail friend might comment that her kid "gasp" might have pudged up! (read, his collar bone is not protruding like he just left drug addiction program) Then, we get a post wondering why her kid gained a few and is no longer 70lbs at 13 years old! And how to get him to lose a bit of a belly!
Yes, we really have posts like that stating that a kid has man boobs and is not even 90lbs!

I have a 13 yo son eating like that. My 10 yo thin DD is also eating a tremendous amount. Our rule, don’t leave wrappers and garbage anywhere. Pick up after yourself. I never worry about either eating meals if they snack all day.

Anonymous wrote:To someone who grew up in another country, the amount of shit food in the grocery stores here, and the huge amount of unhealthy take out food people eat, is pretty shocking. Kids don’t need snacks if they eat three good meals a day. And string cheese is not a healthful food. It’s processed crap that doesn’t taste anything like real cheese.

There are many dieticians etc. who would disagree with you.

My MIL had that thinking also. All 3 of her sons overeat at meals. Big time. They were told to "eat enough to get through to the next meal". All 3 are obese, one is around 400lbs. I'm not sure they learned anything but to stuff themselves.

Snacks are not evil, not even the odd junky snack.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To someone who grew up in another country, the amount of shit food in the grocery stores here, and the huge amount of unhealthy take out food people eat, is pretty shocking. Kids don’t need snacks if they eat three good meals a day. And string cheese is not a healthful food. It’s processed crap that doesn’t taste anything like real cheese.

I grew up here and agree with you. My kids are teens and so on their own for food other than dinner a home. But when they were little I didn’t have 5 kinds of “snacks” at the ready wherever we went, not needed or necessary for people eating adequate meals.

I don't think anyone was arguing that you need to have a ton of snacks at home at all times. Just that a kid that is 13, 11 should be able to have a snack without asking mom first. Also, I objected to OP's controlling ways, where she says that well, her oldest can't really only snack on raising and blueberries, indicating that until now those were the snacks! And what to do now? Those are not the questions a person with a normal food relationship makes. I think her orthorexia of something is causing her to be rigid with her kids, who probably need more caloric foods.

Except she also gave cheese and crackers as an example of snack she gives. You are imagining all sorts of things she didn’t write.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve always wondered who has chips and cookies around the house all the time. I thought only tv families did that. Like does anyone have an actual cookie jar?

I don’t have a jar but we always have chips ahoy soft baked cookies and several cans of Pringle’s and milanos at any given time 24/7. Why not? We otherwise are healthy and exercise regularly.

I didn't know there were actual people who ate these things with enough frequency to have an actual jar for them. I also don't understand how McDonalds stays in business. Like WHO eats that except in an emergency?

People, normal people eat THAT! Meaning cookies and McDonald's. Insane, eating disordered people like YOU, who are so stupid that they can't comprehend something so simple, don't get that. Not only are you eating disordered, but you are also oblivious to what real life is, for people that are not in your privileged sphere. No doubt your kale bubble makes you feel superior? You clearly need that, as you are so stupid, they don't have IQ tests that go that low.

kale is disgusting and besides there is a lot of real estate between kale and McDs. I mean you can get a whole chicken for like $1 a pound. We dont eat like Tom brady over here but like that stuff is literal garbage.

No, it’s not literal garbage. Stop being deliberately obtuse and confused. It’s food that’s readily available, fast to obtain and relatively inexpensive. And consistently tastes good.

It’s a “food product”. Food, but created almost wholly in the lab.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cracking up at how many of you think a granola bar is junk food.

I mean, it’s definitely not a health food. It’s highly processed, and many are full of sugar.

Go away, you disordered orthorexic fool.

Haha, joke’s on you! I’m eating a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich as I type. But I’m not fooling myself that it’s good for me. And neither are granola bars. They’re just marketed as a healthier alternative to pastries or cookies. Too bad, so sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To someone who grew up in another country, the amount of shit food in the grocery stores here, and the huge amount of unhealthy take out food people eat, is pretty shocking. Kids don’t need snacks if they eat three good meals a day. And string cheese is not a healthful food. It’s processed crap that doesn’t taste anything like real cheese.

I grew up here and agree with you. My kids are teens and so on their own for food other than dinner a home. But when they were little I didn’t have 5 kinds of “snacks” at the ready wherever we went, not needed or necessary for people eating adequate meals.

I don't think anyone was arguing that you need to have a ton of snacks at home at all times. Just that a kid that is 13, 11 should be able to have a snack without asking mom first. Also, I objected to OP's controlling ways, where she says that well, her oldest can't really only snack on raising and blueberries, indicating that until now those were the snacks! And what to do now? Those are not the questions a person with a normal food relationship makes. I think her orthorexia of something is causing her to be rigid with her kids, who probably need more caloric foods.