Anonymous wrote:Serious question - why have kids if you don't really want anything to do with them?

If you want to be hands-off and continue working 80 hour weeks, just stay a bachelor and become an awesome uncle.

It's not okay to bring children into this world if you're not totally invested in it. And I don't mean financially - children would rather have an involved parent than college tuition or a car.

I don't think ethics are this guy's strong suit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m a very high earner and work 70-80 hour weeks. I will be involved as I possibly can with kids, but she will be the default parent. We will hire help with childcare and housekeeping, but she will manage the day-to-day responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, shuffling kids to school, etc. My parents had the same setup and it worked. My dad was very involved in raising us, but my mom did the bulk of it.

Define “very high earner.” Are you talking 300 or 400 thousand? Or seven figures?

Are you on board with hiring a housekeeper and babysitters or nannies or night nurses?

Are do you expect your wife to do all the cleaning and cooking and childcare without our sourcing?

OP here. I’m looking for a normal relationship. I do not want an arranged marriage or a religious person. I also do not want anyone that is younger than 30. A mature women is more important to me than a younger woman.

I’m more than fine with her having her own career. What I do want is her to stay at home while the kids need FT care because I do not want them to be 100% raised by nannies.

I make in the $400k/year range and have assets in the millions range.

I would’ve married you 10 years ago when I was 30 and stuck in a job I despised.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get where you are coming from and don’t think you are crazy. Protecting a business that you have built seems like an okay goal. But you are approaching this like the woman won’t be giving up things, too. Divorced women with children are a very financially vulnerable population and you seem to forget that someone who gives us their career isn’t just giving up their salary, they are giving up many years of salary growth and ability to renewer the workforce and support herself.

Your pre-nup needs to account for that trade-off.

I think many women enjoy staying home with the kids but without assurance that they won’t be living in a 2-bedroom apartment barely holding things together if you decide you are ready for something new, it’s not going to be a good proposition for the “smart” woman you are hoping to find.

This.

If I were OP's gf, I'd demand a pre-nup. But it would state that in the event of a divorce, I'd be set for life.

Serious question - why have kids if you don't really want anything to do with them?

If you want to be hands-off and continue working 80 hour weeks, just stay a bachelor and become an awesome uncle.

It's not okay to bring children into this world if you're not totally invested in it. And I don't mean financially - children would rather have an involved parent than college tuition or a car.

Why do you want to be the one who manages the money? Red flag

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else getting abusive red flags from OP?

Nope, he's a troll. An attractive, mentally healthy, successful guy will not be single at 37.

Go to any Whole Foods at lunch and look for the ones in business attire that are clearly fed up there jobs and wishing they were the ones stopping at Whole Foods with there kid and dressed in lululemon and jumping into their Range Rover.

Look for a nanny to date. I am 34. I have worked as a nanny since I was 22 and have raised a bunch of other people’s kids. I would love to be a SAHM to my own and I know what it takes to run a household and manage all the things that need managing.

McLean bible church is a fish bowl of attractive woman that would be happy to stay at home

I’m a career live in nanny/ house manager I’m older then your looking for however, I’m 38. I plan on being a live in nanny until I retire or get married. I would love to be a stay at home wife. Open to having a child. I would sign a prenup as long as your open to signing one as well. I have decent assets and will inherit as well. I can be found most days at target !

OP, I get where you are coming from and don’t think you are crazy. Protecting a business that you have built seems like an okay goal. But you are approaching this like the woman won’t be giving up things, too. Divorced women with children are a very financially vulnerable population and you seem to forget that someone who gives us their career isn’t just giving up their salary, they are giving up many years of salary growth and ability to renewer the workforce and support herself.

Your pre-nup needs to account for that trade-off.

I think many women enjoy staying home with the kids but without assurance that they won’t be living in a 2-bedroom apartment barely holding things together if you decide you are ready for something new, it’s not going to be a good proposition for the “smart” woman you are hoping to find.

Dude, you aren’t that rich. $400k is not huge salary around here with kids.

How many kids? $40-50k/year private school for each. $6k each for travel sports.

$2 million for a house in any great neighborhood.

I make what you do. I’m a woman.

You make 400,000 a year, have side businesss are single with no kids, why haven't you saved a shit ton of money already?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you cut back OP? You are apparently a super-wealthy owner of several busines, why can't you cut back a bit so your kids aren't with nannies all day? It's the modern millennial millionaire way to parent and partner.

OP here. My hope is to work while they are little and set their up for a great future. Fully funded colleges, first cars, nice family vacations, etc. My mom raised us and did the bulk of the work while my dad worked. He worked a lot until we were 7/8 and then he was able to go to our school plays, games, go on fallibly trips, etc. I want this lifestyle for my children. I want a wife who knows she doesn’t haven’t to stress about money or finding childcare, etc.

So you want to repeat your childhood.
You will also probably expext your wife to parent the way your mother did.

Women should run from you, and it has nothing to do with you wanting a SAHM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37 and single. I’ve been trying I find a certain type of woman and just haven’t. You can say I’m looking for a 1950’s housewife. I don’t expect a servant or anything like that, but I wanted a woman who wants to stay at home taking care of her kids and husband. I’m looking for a woman who wants to take care of raising the kids and responsibilities of the household, while I work and manage things like finances. Most of the women I meet want to be a SAHM only short-term, or want to be a SAHM but expect the man to be a 50/50 partner in childcare and household responsibilities. I’m looking for a woman who can handle the bulk of it. How do I find a woman like this?

OP, you are freaka old for this. Do you really want kids? Bachelors at 40 are know to be trouble, I would actually look for divorced woman with young kids; they will take your terms happily, and you can have kids if you want but you already say late in game and it’s clear they are not a priority.

OP here. Most of the people I know had kids later in life. It’s the norm for this area. I was not ready to settle down until a couple of years ago and haven’t found the one. I want a kids. Divorced women with kids is not want I want.