We don't ever cook a separate meal for any kid. But we always have random leftovers and ingredients around that we will let kids eat if they don't want that night's dinner.

We also try to make dinners that at least 2 of the 3 kids will like. Better to set them up for success.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We totally have some of this "junk" in our house. Because you know what, macaroni and cheese is freaking good. And so are chicken nuggets. Like....when was the last time you tried mac and cheese? It's great.

Our 3 year old had mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, strawberries and broccoli for dinner just last night actually. Finished the chicken, broccoli and strawberries (had seconds) and asked for yogurt. Maybe had a few bites of the macaroni.

Not a big deal. She eats a variety of things just like we do. Feed your kid what they eat and encourage them to try new things. When you have the attitude that some foods are "bad" I think you are doing more harm than good.

I don't see anything wrong with mac and cheese, or any of this so-called "junk." But...

1) my idea of moderation is probably different from yours and
2) I will serve it if that's what I'm also eating and
3) I disagree with this framing: "Feed your kid what they eat and encourage them to try new things." How do they eat what "they eat?" Because it was introduced, because you buy it, because it's offered regularly. You can start out with a base of nuggets and mac and cheese (and fruit and vegetables) or you can start out with a base of pho or lentils or spanikopita or whatever-- these aren't hard-to-like foods IMO. I'm not talking about hot curry or something. There's a very intellectually incurious strain in some of these discussions that posits The Kids Menu (TM) of America as some sort of purely natural starting point for children's tastebuds. It isn't, or doesn't have to be.

It's not "natural" that Kids Menus and Kid Food (speaking only of entrees) is 80-90%:

Plain cheese pizza
Hot dogs and hamburgers (plain)
Chicken nuggets
Mac and cheese
Buttered noodles or maybe throw some spaghetti sauce on it
Cheese quesadilla

Actually it is natural. Kids have different nutritional needs than adults. They need more fat (cheese) and carbohydrates than we do. That's why they crave them.

Nope. Not at all.

Fat and carbs? Natural.

So there's:

Guacamole
Lechon
Salmon/Tuna
Sausage
Delicious cheese that is not American "cheese!"

There's:

Rice Noodles
Couscous
All manner of breads, rice, grains... take your pick
WITH SAUCE AND MEAT AND/OR VEGETABLES

I addressed this. It's not that "Kid Food" is fattier and carb-ier than adult food may be.

It's that it is limited to like 6-8 total possible entrees, and most of those entrees involve

Deep-fried and/or super-processed fatty meats
White bread/tortillas/pasta
Processed cheese limited to maybe 3 cheeses or cheese food products
Basically almost no seasoning except for maybe marinara sauce or ketchup and, often, a boatload of salt

THAT is what is not natural.

I like a little of all of the above, by the way! But it's not like this is the natural starting point for the human race, from which kids should only be expected to very slowly venture.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why anyone would make a 2nd meal for kids. Don't start a habit you can't continue! We started with baby led weaning at 6months and even then they got what we got, albeit mashed or cut tiny. By 18 months they ate exactly what we ate. We even have a rule that you have to try everything on your plate and you have to sit there for 15 min while everyone eats. I have a 2 and a 3.5 year old. We do fix family favorites like stuffed peppers, tortellinis or green beans, but they eat it.

I think raising your kid to be a picky eater is a huge disservice to them.

Kids have different palates and tastes, just like you. Sometimes they are born with preferences and there isn't very much you can do when a kid doesn't like something. My oldest and youngest eat what we eat and their palates match ours. The middle child won't eat 75% of what we eat. They were all raised and fed in the same way. She just happens to have her own palate, much like other humans.

I have 3YO twins. We eat the same thing for breakfast. They normally have lunch at daycare (pre-quarantine time). For dinner, depending on the day, we do some combination of food we eat and separate food for them. For the most part, they will eat the protein we are eating (e.g., chicken, salmon, ground meat), and the carb we are eating (rice or pasta), but I do make them separate vegetables for the most part because I know they're going to eat it. If I know they will happily eat a cup of broccoli or peas, but put up a fight over plain salad, then I would rather them eat their vegetables than have this absolute rule that they have to eat what I am eating.

There are also some nights where DH and I will want to make something a little more fun that might take some time to cook. In these times, we sometimes just feed our kids something quick (yes, something like chicken nuggets with steamed veg and pasta), and they eat first while we cook, and then they can play a little while we eat. It's not ideal, but DH and I will not get home until 6:30 or 7, so it's unreasonable for us to always be able to prepare dinner for the four of us at the same time everyday. When this happens, we often all eat the leftovers together the next day.

Anyway, short answer to this is I do both - they sometimes eat what we eat and sometimes they don't. Need to factor in time and what your goals are for the night - sometimes the goal is just making sure they eat full stop. For me, as long they're eating pretty healthy foods on balance, then it's worth it to be flexible.

My kids have always eaten what we eat, using common sense. When they were babies I just pureed or mashed our foods. I'm sure I made something spciy (we eat very spicy) I may have pulled out a component of the meals so they could eat it but I don't recall cooking a separate meal for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with hot dogs, nuggets and macaroni and cheese. Your kids aren't great eaters if they don't eat those things. Good eaters are those that can enjoy all kinds of foods in a healthy balance without overindulging.

Everything in moderation - works for kids and adults.

Love this. DH and I eat Oreos and McDonald's and kale, everything in moderation. We're both thin and healthy and successful. My 15 month old loves French fries so she gets to eat them. The biggest thing I want to teach her about food is that it's all good and we shouldn't spend time obsessing about it.

+a million.

- someone who's kids like mac and cheese and salmon!

Yes, this. We balance everything and our kids think about food as fuel, so they know they need a protein with each meal (i.e. they'd never just eat rice for dinner?!?). We don't treat any food as forbidden, but we don't keep a lot of stuff at home on a regular basis either. We're all fit, muscular, and healthy. And my kids aren't picky eaters - waiters used to always comment on what they ate, even as young kids. But that doesn't mean we've never eaten chicken nuggets.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with hot dogs, nuggets and macaroni and cheese. Your kids aren't great eaters if they don't eat those things. Good eaters are those that can enjoy all kinds of foods in a healthy balance without overindulging.

Everything in moderation - works for kids and adults.

Love this. DH and I eat Oreos and McDonald's and kale, everything in moderation. We're both thin and healthy and successful. My 15 month old loves French fries so she gets to eat them. The biggest thing I want to teach her about food is that it's all good and we shouldn't spend time obsessing about it.

+a million.

- someone who's kids like mac and cheese and salmon!

[quote=Anonymous]I don't understand why anyone would make a 2nd meal for kids. Don't start a habit you can't continue! We started with baby led weaning at 6months and even then they got what we got, albeit mashed or cut tiny. By 18 months they ate exactly what we ate. We even have a rule that you have to try everything on your plate and you have to sit there for 15 min while everyone eats. I have a 2 and a 3.5 year old. We do fix family favorites like stuffed peppers, tortellinis or green beans, but they eat it.

I think raising your kid to be a picky eater is a huge disservice to them. [/quote]

Thank you!

I don’t understand how people even have time to name separate dinners.

The most I’ve done is separate out parts of the meal - like if my kid doesn’t want curry, then they can eat plain rice. But then plain rice is their dinner - no way am I going to cook 3 different meals for 3 kids. They’re generally happy to eat what were having. The human race survived for millennia without macncheese and chicken nuggets. I have never served those things at home (though my kids have eaten them at friends houses and restaurants and somehow they still eat regular food at home)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I do think there are some legit picky eaters, I also think of you give your toddler Mac n cheese, hot dogs and nuggets on a regular basis that is what they are going to want....... If you don’t give them those foods they won’t eat them.

I mean, I know no one is doing play dates now (hopefully), but when your kids go to other kids' houses, they will likely be exposed to these kinds of foods. Or at school (back when we had school). I wouldn't imagine it would be easy to find a kid who has never been given mac and cheese, hot dogs, or chicken nuggets.

Yeah, that's mostly where my kid (now 7) was exposed to these things (I don't see anything wrong with homemade mac and cheese?)

And... she did try them, and she did like them, and we have them at parties, playdates, occasionally, like... at a hot dog stand at the beach or something. Which is fine with me.

But there was no way she could "demand" them for dinner every night, because we just don't regularly keep them in our house to serve.

She's been exposed to them-- of course she has. She can't "want them all the time" because 1) they're not really options here and 2) she's not a relatively rare, extreme picky eater who only eats 6 specific foods or will choose to starve.

Like, there's no "once they get a taste for Kraft Mac and Cheese on a play date, there's no going back!!!" for most kids. Or there doesn't have to be.

I agree. This attitude is bizarre. I’ve always encouraged my kids to try whatever they want at friend’s houses, restaurants, etc. That doesn’t mean I’m going to start stocking my house with hot dogs, Mac and cheese, chicken nuggets and soda. I have never purchased those things for my house and have no plans to start. Kids understand that concept really well. It hasn’t been an issue with any of my children.

Agreed. We don't eat cake at home, but they know it and like it at birthday parties. They just associate it with parties. Same with juice. They can have a juice box on a playdate or birthday party, but at home you drink water or milk.

I don't understand why anyone would make a 2nd meal for kids. Don't start a habit you can't continue! We started with baby led weaning at 6months and even then they got what we got, albeit mashed or cut tiny. By 18 months they ate exactly what we ate. We even have a rule that you have to try everything on your plate and you have to sit there for 15 min while everyone eats. I have a 2 and a 3.5 year old. We do fix family favorites like stuffed peppers, tortellinis or green beans, but they eat it.

I think raising your kid to be a picky eater is a huge disservice to them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We totally have some of this "junk" in our house. Because you know what, macaroni and cheese is freaking good. And so are chicken nuggets. Like....when was the last time you tried mac and cheese? It's great.

Our 3 year old had mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, strawberries and broccoli for dinner just last night actually. Finished the chicken, broccoli and strawberries (had seconds) and asked for yogurt. Maybe had a few bites of the macaroni.

Not a big deal. She eats a variety of things just like we do. Feed your kid what they eat and encourage them to try new things. When you have the attitude that some foods are "bad" I think you are doing more harm than good.

I don't see anything wrong with mac and cheese, or any of this so-called "junk." But...

1) my idea of moderation is probably different from yours and
2) I will serve it if that's what I'm also eating and
3) I disagree with this framing: "Feed your kid what they eat and encourage them to try new things." How do they eat what "they eat?" Because it was introduced, because you buy it, because it's offered regularly. You can start out with a base of nuggets and mac and cheese (and fruit and vegetables) or you can start out with a base of pho or lentils or spanikopita or whatever-- these aren't hard-to-like foods IMO. I'm not talking about hot curry or something. There's a very intellectually incurious strain in some of these discussions that posits The Kids Menu (TM) of America as some sort of purely natural starting point for children's tastebuds. It isn't, or doesn't have to be.

It's not "natural" that Kids Menus and Kid Food (speaking only of entrees) is 80-90%:

Plain cheese pizza
Hot dogs and hamburgers (plain)
Chicken nuggets
Mac and cheese
Buttered noodles or maybe throw some spaghetti sauce on it
Cheese quesadilla

Actually it is natural. Kids have different nutritional needs than adults. They need more fat (cheese) and carbohydrates than we do. That's why they crave them.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I haven't read the full thread, but what I did when my kids were younger was "deconstructed dinner."

They'd eat elements of what we ate, so I wasn't making two full meals, but I'd set out different elements on the table so each family member could eat their preferred combination.

So for example, if I was making tacos, I'd set out tortillas, beans, grilled chicken, cheese. I'd make a spicy salsa but leave some plain chopped tomato on the side.

A salad would be a bowl of lettuce, chopped cucumber, chopped tomatoes, chopped onions, grilled chicken, a drained can of chickpeas, feta, olives dressing on the side. One kid might eat chickpeas, chicken and cucumbers; another might add tomatoes and dressing, and adults would have a greek salad with chickpeas.

I'd prepare plain veggies and have spicy sauce to add for adults.

As my kids got older, they added in different elements, and now at 10 and 12 eat almost everything. (Not to say this method is why!! I suspect individual personality has the most to do with it.)

This is what I did too! The “bar” concept or “deconstructed” dinner will get u thru this. Makes for more dishes but I am convinced that seeing all the choices in little bowls made things more appealing for kids. Good luck. Don’t do anything cold turkey or harsh right now- life sort of sucks for everyone!

Anonymous wrote:We totally have some of this "junk" in our house. Because you know what, macaroni and cheese is freaking good. And so are chicken nuggets. Like....when was the last time you tried mac and cheese? It's great.

Our 3 year old had mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, strawberries and broccoli for dinner just last night actually. Finished the chicken, broccoli and strawberries (had seconds) and asked for yogurt. Maybe had a few bites of the macaroni.

Not a big deal. She eats a variety of things just like we do. Feed your kid what they eat and encourage them to try new things. When you have the attitude that some foods are "bad" I think you are doing more harm than good.

I don't see anything wrong with mac and cheese, or any of this so-called "junk." But...

1) my idea of moderation is probably different from yours and
2) I will serve it if that's what I'm also eating and
3) I disagree with this framing: "Feed your kid what they eat and encourage them to try new things." How do they eat what "they eat?" Because it was introduced, because you buy it, because it's offered regularly. You can start out with a base of nuggets and mac and cheese (and fruit and vegetables) or you can start out with a base of pho or lentils or spanikopita or whatever-- these aren't hard-to-like foods IMO. I'm not talking about hot curry or something. There's a very intellectually incurious strain in some of these discussions that posits The Kids Menu (TM) of America as some sort of purely natural starting point for children's tastebuds. It isn't, or doesn't have to be.

It's not "natural" that Kids Menus and Kid Food (speaking only of entrees) is 80-90%:

Plain cheese pizza
Hot dogs and hamburgers (plain)
Chicken nuggets
Mac and cheese
Buttered noodles or maybe throw some spaghetti sauce on it
Cheese quesadilla

We totally have some of this "junk" in our house. Because you know what, macaroni and cheese is freaking good. And so are chicken nuggets. Like....when was the last time you tried mac and cheese? It's great.

Our 3 year old had mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, strawberries and broccoli for dinner just last night actually. Finished the chicken, broccoli and strawberries (had seconds) and asked for yogurt. Maybe had a few bites of the macaroni.

Not a big deal. She eats a variety of things just like we do. Feed your kid what they eat and encourage them to try new things. When you have the attitude that some foods are "bad" I think you are doing more harm than good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I do think there are some legit picky eaters, I also think of you give your toddler Mac n cheese, hot dogs and nuggets on a regular basis that is what they are going to want....... If you don’t give them those foods they won’t eat them.

I mean, I know no one is doing play dates now (hopefully), but when your kids go to other kids' houses, they will likely be exposed to these kinds of foods. Or at school (back when we had school). I wouldn't imagine it would be easy to find a kid who has never been given mac and cheese, hot dogs, or chicken nuggets.

Yeah, that's mostly where my kid (now 7) was exposed to these things (I don't see anything wrong with homemade mac and cheese?)

And... she did try them, and she did like them, and we have them at parties, playdates, occasionally, like... at a hot dog stand at the beach or something. Which is fine with me.

But there was no way she could "demand" them for dinner every night, because we just don't regularly keep them in our house to serve.

She's been exposed to them-- of course she has. She can't "want them all the time" because 1) they're not really options here and 2) she's not a relatively rare, extreme picky eater who only eats 6 specific foods or will choose to starve.

Like, there's no "once they get a taste for Kraft Mac and Cheese on a play date, there's no going back!!!" for most kids. Or there doesn't have to be.

I agree. This attitude is bizarre. I’ve always encouraged my kids to try whatever they want at friend’s houses, restaurants, etc. That doesn’t mean I’m going to start stocking my house with hot dogs, Mac and cheese, chicken nuggets and soda. I have never purchased those things for my house and have no plans to start. Kids understand that concept really well. It hasn’t been an issue with any of my children.