Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would (if they ask), but I would also tell them to make sure they have an involved partner. I detest the dynamic of SAHM+workaholic DH. Bad for the kids and bad for society.

-1 What works for the couple is their business and what works for society.

WRONG.

The OP made it everyone's business when she posted here.

Secondly, based on the OP's posts does it sound like this terrible dynamic has been working for "the couple"? lol

Critical thinking and reading comprehension clearly aren't your strong suits.

Geez why are you so angry? Put down the bottle and take a nap.

Made that choice for ourselves years ago ...

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why people are so hard on OP. We are in the middle of a global pandemic. All our routines are disrupted. We suddenly have to homeschool, entertain toddlers, work full time, and cook for the lot! It's hard! It's doable but this is not the life we signed up for. I don't begrudge anyone being in a foul, complaining mood. It's tough! We have a 9-year old, a 4-year old, a 18-month old, a big house, a large lot with tons of outdoor entertainment, a live-in nanny and it's STILL hard! Enough with ruthlessness already.

You are INCREDIBLY tone deaf with this post and you seem to be greatly lacking in any & all self awareness.

Everything you've just listed is a first world problem that only the wealthy and privileged complain about.

OP, your husband should do this: https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/pandemic/ffcra-questions

Or, he should take some parental leave even if it's unpaid to care for his newborn. It's too much on just you to do all that.

People are so nasty! This isn’t the pain olympics - yes some people have it harder than people, some people always have it harder than every single person privileged enough to have the internet access and peruse this board.

Having a newborn can be incredibly hard depending on the baby’s temperament and parents personality. Being stuck inside with 3 kids going throw a major transition is hard. Being isolated from others during an isolating period is hard. Op can be having a hard time and recognize she could have it worse.

If you finger wagging ninnies can’t understand how someone can hold two different things to be true at once (eg I’m really struggling and I have a lot to be grateful for) you need to work on yourself, not op

OP, it’s possible you have postpartum depression exacerbated by this pandemic. With many doctors being unable to see patients now it would be even more difficult to get treatment. I’m sorry you are struggling and hope tomorrow is a better day. I have a 3 year old and a 1.5 year old, and it is hard, but I either stay home with them or work out of the house as I’m a pharmacist. I remember struggling a lot when my son was under six months and my daughter was a potty-training toddler. Some days were a literal shit show, and I would watch the clock until my husband came home for reinforcement.

IMHO people are being really hard on the OP. The newborn time is really hard - not just the sleep part but even more so the older siblings adjusting. Normally, you would do everything to keep their routines intact as much as possible, and this situation has completely upended their world - in addition to the new sibling and their mom’s exhaustion. Give her a break! The only thing I wanted to do when I brought my newborn home with older kids in the house was get them to school so I could snuggle my newborn and let him nap without being woken up a few minutes later by noise from my other kids.

My youngest is 11 months. I have been enjoying the time home with my kids, but would not have AT ALL if this had happened a year ago. It got better for us around 6-8 weeks when the baby started having a predictable bedtime.

OP, you can do this and I’m rooting for you. It sucks but you’ll get through - do whatever you need to do and let go of whatever you need to let go of to make it through.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would (if they ask), but I would also tell them to make sure they have an involved partner. I detest the dynamic of SAHM+workaholic DH. Bad for the kids and bad for society.

-1 What works for the couple is their business and what works for society.

WRONG.

The OP made it everyone's business when she posted here.

Secondly, based on the OP's posts does it sound like this terrible dynamic has been working for "the couple"? lol

Critical thinking and reading comprehension clearly aren't your strong suits.

Just because you aren’t capable of parenting right now doesn’t mean you should discourage others from having children. Can you really not see how ridiculous that is?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would (if they ask), but I would also tell them to make sure they have an involved partner. I detest the dynamic of SAHM+workaholic DH. Bad for the kids and bad for society.

-1 What works for the couple is their business and what works for society.

Doesn't sound like it's working for OP.

The quarantine isn't working for OP.

You spelled "being a mother" wrong.

Yep. She’d be having problems even without the quarantine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why people are so hard on OP. We are in the middle of a global pandemic. All our routines are disrupted. We suddenly have to homeschool, entertain toddlers, work full time, and cook for the lot! It's hard! It's doable but this is not the life we signed up for. I don't begrudge anyone being in a foul, complaining mood. It's tough! We have a 9-year old, a 4-year old, a 18-month old, a big house, a large lot with tons of outdoor entertainment, a live-in nanny and it's STILL hard! Enough with ruthlessness already.

WTF? How can it be hard with a live-in nanny? Are you kidding with this post?

No, not kidding. The live-in is focused on the baby. The 4-year old misses her preschool and wants mommy and to go to the park and to be entertained. The 9-year old needs to stay with his learning schedule. They all want to eat on the regular!!! And we have conference calls and work to do and it's just hard. I think we can all feel some compassion for each other no matter the circumstances.

DP, but if you can’t see how unbelievably privileged you are, I don’t know what to say. My compassion for you is that it must be unbearable to live your life being that out of touch with the reality of your situation in the world.

OP, a two and a four year old are not toddlers, FFS. It’s not easy, but it’s also not like you have a newborn and 18 month old twins or something.

+1000

OP so many hugs to you. This whole situation is unthinkable. Take it minute by minute if you have to. And, yes, having kids takes on a whole added level of meaning right now so I totally understand where you are coming from.

We're all in the same boat, and we're doing the best we can. I know it's tough time right now, and it's OK to rant. But to tell your friends to think long and hard about having kids? Isn't it overly dramatic? This is the exception rather than the rule.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a very involved husband, easy kids and a full time nanny. I find this outrageously difficult. But I would never tell anyone wether or not they should have kids. I just don’t think it’s my place.

Sounds like you have some issues then.

And you sound jealous.

Not at all. I have the exact same setup and am living my best life right now. No commute and no childcare issues either. Working from home = easy to exercise during my lunch break.

3 kids - a toddler and two in an elementary school. both work full time, no help. no way is this “the hardest period in my life”
That would make me rethink having kids. What? The schoolwork is exhausting but everything is doable and often fun. Enjoy your baby!