Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 11:01     Subject: What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Anonymous wrote:An older woman wanted to surprise her husband so when he opened the front door she was on the steps in a crotchless supergirl outfit and she chirped "super sex"!

Her husband said "I'll take the soup."




??????????
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:57     Subject: Re:What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:53     Subject: What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Fairfax underground is the intellectual and cultural mecca of the DC metro area.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:19     Subject: What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero- they use gaslighting.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:12     Subject: What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Anonymous wrote:Two potatoes are on a street corner. How do you know which one is the prostitute?

.
.
.
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It has a sign saying Idaho.

My high school students loved that one. It's not a dirty joke... it's about potatoes!



Okay, I laughed out loud-- funny!
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:05     Subject: Re:What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Why can't you ever get undressed in front of your Pokemon? Because they might Pikachu
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:04     Subject: Re:What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Forget how is goes exactly but its something like:

Two hunters are in the woods, when one of them steps on a rattlesnake which bites him in the groin. The second hunter says don't worry, I will call the doctor and get some help. The second hunter calls 911 and they tell him he will "have to suck the poison from the wound and spit it out to save his friend". The hunter turns to his wounded friend who asks "well what did they say?"... to which the second hunter says "they said your gonna die"
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 10:00     Subject: Re:What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Confucius say, man who goes to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 08:23     Subject: Re:What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry to sound mean, but these are terrible “jokes”.


So put up or shut up. What joke so you find funnier than all of the ones here?

Or do you not have one?-


Still waiting for a link or retelling of a joke you find comparatively hilarious. I bet it's a great one.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 08:21     Subject: What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream two scoops of dead baby.


I can’t imagine anyone finding this the least bit funny.


My dad told me this joke years ago. He was kind of an a$$hole.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 08:14     Subject: What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you will be a mile away and you will have their shoes.
Stuart Smalley

That sounds more like Jack Handy


You are right. Not sure what I was thinking!
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 08:08     Subject: What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:You all don't see the difference in ragging on religions and making fun of religions in general, and the f-ing Holocaust?? There's a difference. "Jew jokes" and "Jesus jokes" can still be funny, but there is absolutely nothing funny about the Holocaust. There just isn't. OK, yes, I'm a Debbie downer, but this is insane that it has to be said at all.


You cannot control others’ sense of humor. If they think it’s funny, scolding them is not going to stop them from finding it amusing.


My mom always says “you either laugh or you cry”. I choose to laugh.
Signed,
Someone with relatives who survived the Holocaust.


Uh, you get that some people have relatives who DIDN’T survive, who may feel differently?


So because of that no one can tell the jokes? Even if some find them funny?


There are different kinds of humor. Jokes about the Holocaust or some other very serious event aren't haha funny jokes, they are usually examples of very dry, dark wit. You have to be a dry wit person with a twisted sense of humor to get them. They definitely are not for everyone. People who work in prisons or psych wards also often have similar very dark, dry wit jokes that you only tell to other people who will get it.


So who "gets" Holocaust jokes? Just curious.


The Ricky Gervais of the world. Other people with dark, witty, dry senses of humor. It is the same with jokes about 9/11 or anything that is horrific. It isn't the event that is funny, it is the wittiness of the joke and the ability of the joke teller to make it comedic.


With so much build up, this joke better be amazing ... if there even is a joke.


To the PPs. In my family, we have an uncle. His whole immediate family was rounded up and they were taken to Auschwitz. They were separated. He never saw the rest of his family again. His brother? He was shot in front of him. He survived. He's so traumatized that, all these years later and writing a book about it, he will never get over it. He was the last man/kid standing in his family.

Wanna tell this joke to my uncle? Do you think he would find it funny? If you can't tell it to his face, don't tell this "joke." And F you for thinking it would be OK to tell it behind his back.

What is honestly the matter with you people? THERE IS NOTHING G-DAMN FUNNY ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST. FULL F-ING STOP. I have a sense of humor, but I'm a human being who finds all of you defending this absolutely abhorrent.


Dark humor is about dark events. No one thinks the events are funny, Dark humor is about the Holocaust, 9/11, dead babies, pedophilia, school shootings, slavery, etc. Dark humor isn't haha the holocaust was so funny. And dark humor isn't right for every audience. Sometimes people who have experienced something very difficult and painful can still find dark humor funny, other people don't. Dark humor is not the joke you tell without knowing your audience.


So what's the joke exactly? I really have an issue with "dark humor." If the events aren't funny, where's the humor? Who do you tell these jokes to? What's the actual Holocaust joke we're dancing around?What's so funny about it? I'm just dying to hear what's so frickin' funny about the mass event of human destruction and murder. What's the actual punchline I'm missing? Since I'm apparently so devoid of humor and all?


We get it - you don’t like dark humor. Some of us do. You don’t get to dictate what is an allowable joke and to whom it can be told. Dark humor people know their audience. And clearly you aren’t it.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2020 00:22     Subject: What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Anonymous wrote:Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you will be a mile away and you will have their shoes.
Stuart Smalley

That sounds more like Jack Handy
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 23:30     Subject: What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you will be a mile away and you will have their shoes.
Stuart Smalley
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 23:27     Subject: What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'd tell you a joke about Jonestown, but the punchline is too long.

I'd tell you a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.


I would tell you a joke about my broken pencil, but it would be pointless