Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 17:23     Subject: Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
Anonymous wrote:She's not being supportive. Op has stated that she wants to breastfeed and mil is disparaging her and bringing unasked for formula into OP" s house.

There are some future nightmare MILs in this thread!


Really it's absurd. Breastfeeding is not easy and having a MIL bring formula does not help. The poster who mentioned "failure to thrive" and infant mortality is using scare tactics to discourage breastfeeding. There are so many doctor appts. with a newborn that it won't get to that point. Obviously if the baby is not growing it is in fact time to switch to formula.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 16:26     Subject: Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
She's not being supportive. Op has stated that she wants to breastfeed and mil is disparaging her and bringing unasked for formula into OP" s house.

There are some future nightmare MILs in this thread!
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 16:12     Subject: Re:Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
I’d rather have that than the breast-feeding Nazis.

She sees you struggling. She’s saying it’s okay. She’s being supportive. I had so many people (not my family) be assholes about supplementing with formula.

I’ve seen so many women needlessly beat themselves up when bf-ing isn’t working.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 15:27     Subject: Re:Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People keep disparaging societal “pressure” to breastfeed. There are good reasons medical practitioners and public health experts encourage breastfeeding. Yes, many children don’t breastfeed and are perfectly healthy. It’s not do or die. But there are good benefits to breastfeeding — even beyond possible health benefits (cost, for example) — and there was a time of way too much thinking in the opposite direction based on faulty premises (see MIL’s generation).

Of course OP shouldn’t destroy her life to breastfeed, but many of these “just make it easier on yourself and ignore the ‘propaganda’ “ posters seem to be engaged in self-justification than informed reasoning.


There's no evidence that breastfeeding is worth struggling at all. It really pisses me off that a segment of the medical/public health world won't be truthful about this, since it makes it hard to accept their advice when it actually IS crucial (vaccinations, safe sleep, etc). Same goes for major hospitals that push "integrative" medicine.


They're not truthful about vaccinations, either. To me that really undermines the medical community. When they discovered a vaccine for chicken pox, suddenly we were supposed to pretend chicken pox was a dangerous childhood disease instead of an itchy inconvenience that could possibly leave a small car in an eyebrow every now and then.

I think it's been established that formula is fine but breastfeeding is better. Most people want "better" for their kids.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 15:24     Subject: Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
OP, this is your baby that you want to breastfeed! I think you need to get that mother-in-law out of your house, she got there raised her kids her way, you raise your baby your way. Don't listen to her. If this is what do you want to do, and the baby's checking out okay as far as the doctor and everything, then keep on if that's what you want. Don't let her discourage you, or even your husband. I'm sorry he's not being supportive. But you're doing the right thing for you and your baby!
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 15:21     Subject: Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, OP, you are not being too sensitive. The mother-in-law has been vocally disparaging breastfeeding and trying to undermine her. It's not like she was supportive and trying to be helpful with formula. I think you need to get her out of your house. And this is coming from a mom who breastfed, and also used formula sometimes.

The Mother-in-law was not there being supportive.


No she was being helpful. She was trying to be supportive. She knows how had OP has been trying.


Breast feeding is not the be end all.

Kids do just fine without it.


The OP said the MIL was being disparaging of breastfeeding! Read!

Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 13:33     Subject: Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
Anonymous wrote:No, OP, you are not being too sensitive. The mother-in-law has been vocally disparaging breastfeeding and trying to undermine her. It's not like she was supportive and trying to be helpful with formula. I think you need to get her out of your house. And this is coming from a mom who breastfed, and also used formula sometimes.

The Mother-in-law was not there being supportive.


No she was being helpful. She was trying to be supportive. She knows how had OP has been trying.


Breast feeding is not the be end all.

Kids do just fine without it.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 13:30     Subject: Re:Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People keep disparaging societal “pressure” to breastfeed. There are good reasons medical practitioners and public health experts encourage breastfeeding. Yes, many children don’t breastfeed and are perfectly healthy. It’s not do or die. But there are good benefits to breastfeeding — even beyond possible health benefits (cost, for example) — and there was a time of way too much thinking in the opposite direction based on faulty premises (see MIL’s generation).

Of course OP shouldn’t destroy her life to breastfeed, but many of these “just make it easier on yourself and ignore the ‘propaganda’ “ posters seem to be engaged in self-justification than informed reasoning.


There's no evidence that breastfeeding is worth struggling at all. It really pisses me off that a segment of the medical/public health world won't be truthful about this, since it makes it hard to accept their advice when it actually IS crucial (vaccinations, safe sleep, etc). Same goes for major hospitals that push "integrative" medicine.


Actually, there is research that shows breastfeeding is medically valuable. And there is research that shows no benefit. It’s not that “there’s no evidence”; it’s that the research is not conclusive.

Some of us who breastfed for a long time — in some cases with some effort — find that it was really worth it. We are not supposed to say that because “pressure!” but that is the truth.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 13:24     Subject: Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
No, OP, you are not being too sensitive. The mother-in-law has been vocally disparaging breastfeeding and trying to undermine her. It's not like she was supportive and trying to be helpful with formula. I think you need to get her out of your house. And this is coming from a mom who breastfed, and also used formula sometimes.

The Mother-in-law was not there being supportive.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 11:49     Subject: Re:Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
You are being sensitive. I thank my mother everyday for suggesting formula when I was unknowingly letting my baby go hungry due to low milk supply. She means well.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 11:45     Subject: Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
It may take a few years, but in time you will understand MIL was looking to relieve some of the pressure and stress. In my case it was the midwife who left one can of ready-made formula on the counter. Trust me she was VERY MUCH about breast feeding and getting it to work. She also left a small syringe and tube along with a note on how to finger feed. While getting breast feeding established was certainly a huge goal of hers, she was also focused on the overall well being of a new mom & infant.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 11:31     Subject: Re:Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at all of these responses. Isn't anyone committed to breastfeeding? My kids are grown but as I recall this was a priority for a lot of mothers.


Yes, it's the people who used formula who don't understand the OP's post at ll. Can't they just acknowledge that to a lot of mothers breastfeeding is very important? It might not be to them, but it is to others.


On the contrary - many of us were in OP's shoes, and in retrospect realize how harmful and pointless it was not to supplement.


+1
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 11:30     Subject: Re:Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at all of these responses. Isn't anyone committed to breastfeeding? My kids are grown but as I recall this was a priority for a lot of mothers.


Yes, it's the people who used formula who don't understand the OP's post at ll. Can't they just acknowledge that to a lot of mothers breastfeeding is very important? It might not be to them, but it is to others.


I extended breast fed for years for each of my kids and I think OP is indeed being too sensitive. She has a loving MIL who cares for her, who is being kind. Everyone should be so lucky.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 11:25     Subject: Re:Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am surprised at all of these responses. Isn't anyone committed to breastfeeding? My kids are grown but as I recall this was a priority for a lot of mothers.


Yes, it's the people who used formula who don't understand the OP's post at ll. Can't they just acknowledge that to a lot of mothers breastfeeding is very important? It might not be to them, but it is to others.


On the contrary - many of us were in OP's shoes, and in retrospect realize how harmful and pointless it was not to supplement.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2020 11:24     Subject: Re:Am I sensitive or was there ill-intent?
Anonymous wrote:People keep disparaging societal “pressure” to breastfeed. There are good reasons medical practitioners and public health experts encourage breastfeeding. Yes, many children don’t breastfeed and are perfectly healthy. It’s not do or die. But there are good benefits to breastfeeding — even beyond possible health benefits (cost, for example) — and there was a time of way too much thinking in the opposite direction based on faulty premises (see MIL’s generation).

Of course OP shouldn’t destroy her life to breastfeed, but many of these “just make it easier on yourself and ignore the ‘propaganda’ “ posters seem to be engaged in self-justification than informed reasoning.


There's no evidence that breastfeeding is worth struggling at all. It really pisses me off that a segment of the medical/public health world won't be truthful about this, since it makes it hard to accept their advice when it actually IS crucial (vaccinations, safe sleep, etc). Same goes for major hospitals that push "integrative" medicine.