Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Sep child was immature. We were debating whether to take the test to push DC in to K or not and eventually decided not to. So, my kid is the oldest in class, a bit taller than other kids, but in terms of maturity, on par with the current peers. We didn't actually redshirt, but more like it.

OP, you know your child well. If you think he would benefit from the extra year of pre-K, do it. As parents, we always second guess ourselves wondering if we made the right choice, but there's only so much we can do.

Your child is still immature as you are comparing him to kids over a year younger. If he is the oldest and behaving in what you consider an immature way, its something you need to address. Holding back usually does more harm than good.

My DC was not held back, but went ON TIME. There are states with cutoff before Sep 30th, in case you didn't know. We were thinking of pushing our DC in by taking a test, but didn't. And it was the right choice for us not to push (though we were doubtful then).

OP, there will always be kids almost a year older than some others if they had just missed the cut off. We have several kids born in the Fall in DC's class so it is actually the younger kids with Spring and Summer birthdays (who went on time) that seem to lag behind the peers.

And there is the harm to all of this. They aren’t lagging behind! They just weren’t held back!

Funny, mine is a fall kid who went when they should and he's in the highest level math and one of the stronger students. Most people claim the younger ones are behind but they are not and are age appropriate, and their kids are not as they should be a year ahead.

Anonymous wrote:Wait till your kid turns 18 in the 11th grade and decides to drop out of school and legally can because they're an adult.

Show me the stats that says a high percentage of kids who are redshirted are dropping out of school when they are 18. Pretty please.

And how is dropping out at 18 as a Junior any worse then dropping out at 18 as a Senior?

I have read plenty of ridiculous arguments on both sides of this issue but this one might be a top 5 idiotic concern.

Wait till your kid turns 18 in the 11th grade and decides to drop out of school and legally can because they're an adult.

“Redshirting” a kid in the oldest third of the class is not a thing. You’re holding him back. People will eventually assume he got held back. He may or may not get teases about it — depends what he’s like and what the other kids are like. I personally wouldn’t do it; developmental delays are typically better dealt with by more exposure to school/kids/services even if the first year is rough. If it doesn’t work out, you hold him back... but don’t pretend that’s not what you’re doing anyway if you don’t send him; at least give it a chance to work. Don’t make the decision because you’d be embarrassed to hold him back, because — again — that’s what everyone will perceive you to be doing anyway.

Op, you’ll never get a simple answer to this. I know lots of kids with SNs who delayed school or repeated grades. Know lots of typical kids too.

The spasms the question of “redshirting” generates on this board is simply that—people who think way way too much about it. You know that old saying that everyone by the time they go to college is potty trained—well the same can be said about delaying school age, which most of the western world does anyway.

So if a college bound kid is not potty trained and cursing the heavens that his parents had him start kindergarten at 6 and not 5, well time to throw in the towel. You’ll just have to love the kid to pieces b/c you screwed up all the fundamentals. Enjoy the pancakes. They may not be perfectly shaped or cooked, but they all taste the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Sep child was immature. We were debating whether to take the test to push DC in to K or not and eventually decided not to. So, my kid is the oldest in class, a bit taller than other kids, but in terms of maturity, on par with the current peers. We didn't actually redshirt, but more like it.

OP, you know your child well. If you think he would benefit from the extra year of pre-K, do it. As parents, we always second guess ourselves wondering if we made the right choice, but there's only so much we can do.

Your child is still immature as you are comparing him to kids over a year younger. If he is the oldest and behaving in what you consider an immature way, its something you need to address. Holding back usually does more harm than good.

My DC was not held back, but went ON TIME. There are states with cutoff before Sep 30th, in case you didn't know. We were thinking of pushing our DC in by taking a test, but didn't. And it was the right choice for us not to push (though we were doubtful then).

OP, there will always be kids almost a year older than some others if they had just missed the cut off. We have several kids born in the Fall in DC's class so it is actually the younger kids with Spring and Summer birthdays (who went on time) that seem to lag behind the peers.

And there is the harm to all of this. They aren’t lagging behind! They just weren’t held back!

They are being age appropriate. You are comparing them to kids 1-2 years older and there is no comparison. Mine is the youngest and does extremely well academically and is far ahead of some of the others kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Sep child was immature. We were debating whether to take the test to push DC in to K or not and eventually decided not to. So, my kid is the oldest in class, a bit taller than other kids, but in terms of maturity, on par with the current peers. We didn't actually redshirt, but more like it.

OP, you know your child well. If you think he would benefit from the extra year of pre-K, do it. As parents, we always second guess ourselves wondering if we made the right choice, but there's only so much we can do.

Your child is still immature as you are comparing him to kids over a year younger. If he is the oldest and behaving in what you consider an immature way, its something you need to address. Holding back usually does more harm than good.

My DC was not held back, but went ON TIME. There are states with cutoff before Sep 30th, in case you didn't know. We were thinking of pushing our DC in by taking a test, but didn't. And it was the right choice for us not to push (though we were doubtful then).

OP, there will always be kids almost a year older than some others if they had just missed the cut off. We have several kids born in the Fall in DC's class so it is actually the younger kids with Spring and Summer birthdays (who went on time) that seem to lag behind the peers.

And there is the harm to all of this. They aren’t lagging behind! They just weren’t held back!

Reading is fundamental.

Anonymous wrote:

But after reading DCUM over the years, I came to realize that our private family decision many years ago was actually an aggressive act to exercise our white privilege to specifically try and disadvantage others by hoarding educational advantages.

Were you being sarcastic about this? It sounds extremely accurate to me. That’s what you did... at least own it.

Of course they were being sarcastic. Live your life, stop getting upset by others who come to their own rational decisions. I did not even realize this was an issue until years after we made our decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Sep child was immature. We were debating whether to take the test to push DC in to K or not and eventually decided not to. So, my kid is the oldest in class, a bit taller than other kids, but in terms of maturity, on par with the current peers. We didn't actually redshirt, but more like it.

OP, you know your child well. If you think he would benefit from the extra year of pre-K, do it. As parents, we always second guess ourselves wondering if we made the right choice, but there's only so much we can do.

Your child is still immature as you are comparing him to kids over a year younger. If he is the oldest and behaving in what you consider an immature way, its something you need to address. Holding back usually does more harm than good.

My DC was not held back, but went ON TIME. There are states with cutoff before Sep 30th, in case you didn't know. We were thinking of pushing our DC in by taking a test, but didn't. And it was the right choice for us not to push (though we were doubtful then).

OP, there will always be kids almost a year older than some others if they had just missed the cut off. We have several kids born in the Fall in DC's class so it is actually the younger kids with Spring and Summer birthdays (who went on time) that seem to lag behind the peers.

And there is the harm to all of this. They aren’t lagging behind! They just weren’t held back!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Sep child was immature. We were debating whether to take the test to push DC in to K or not and eventually decided not to. So, my kid is the oldest in class, a bit taller than other kids, but in terms of maturity, on par with the current peers. We didn't actually redshirt, but more like it.

OP, you know your child well. If you think he would benefit from the extra year of pre-K, do it. As parents, we always second guess ourselves wondering if we made the right choice, but there's only so much we can do.

Your child is still immature as you are comparing him to kids over a year younger. If he is the oldest and behaving in what you consider an immature way, its something you need to address. Holding back usually does more harm than good.

My DC was not held back, but went ON TIME. There are states with cutoff before Sep 30th, in case you didn't know. We were thinking of pushing our DC in by taking a test, but didn't. And it was the right choice for us not to push (though we were doubtful then).

OP, there will always be kids almost a year older than some others if they had just missed the cut off. We have several kids born in the Fall in DC's class so it is actually the younger kids with Spring and Summer birthdays (who went on time) that seem to lag behind the peers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is going to get useful information. In general DCUMs antiredshirt posters aren't capable of rational thought or communication and so information value is low (although they certainly provide cheap entertainment). OP, you need to work with your developmental pediatrician, and your IEP team. If you want marginally more thoughtful feedback, try the SN board.

You've posted this exactly sentence at least 3 times on this one thread. Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't make them irrational. Not sure why you even read this or the SN board at all if you think the feedback is so "marginal."

And they've done it on several other threads I've seen recently. It's unhelpful and doesn't advance the discourse, although it clearly makes her feel better to write this out.

Yes, bragging about how your children spread gossip about the oldest children in their classes (some of whom likely have SNs you don't know about) is certainly advancing the discussion.

A lot of people who hold their SN kids back completely rely on the schools to do everything including services. They don't get outside help and supports and think its just fine. Its pretty sad for the kids as it just makes them stand out even more being much older, bigger and still struggling.

Such crisp, erudite analysis you display.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is going to get useful information. In general DCUMs antiredshirt posters aren't capable of rational thought or communication and so information value is low (although they certainly provide cheap entertainment). OP, you need to work with your developmental pediatrician, and your IEP team. If you want marginally more thoughtful feedback, try the SN board.

You've posted this exactly sentence at least 3 times on this one thread. Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't make them irrational. Not sure why you even read this or the SN board at all if you think the feedback is so "marginal."

And they've done it on several other threads I've seen recently. It's unhelpful and doesn't advance the discourse, although it clearly makes her feel better to write this out.

Yes, bragging about how your children spread gossip about the oldest children in their classes (some of whom likely have SNs you don't know about) is certainly advancing the discussion.

A lot of people who hold their SN kids back completely rely on the schools to do everything including services. They don't get outside help and supports and think its just fine. Its pretty sad for the kids as it just makes them stand out even more being much older, bigger and still struggling.