Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, our custody arrangement during separation is I have my son M-F and my ex has his most weekends, so I am the primary parent. I have had a few jobs, but got married out of school and was a housewife before kids and a caregiver to both my parents for over a decade before they both died from cancer.

^This right here is why Op was not working earlier.

Still pretty odd. So right from college graduation to "housewife" with no kids for multiple years, then still home, caring for parents? Unfortunately, I have many friends who dealt with parents with cancer in their 20's, but they all worked. Some even took leaves of absence for caregiving, but no one just...stopped straight out of undergrad and did nothing but wifely home and parent healthcare for 18+ years.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, our custody arrangement during separation is I have my son M-F and my ex has his most weekends, so I am the primary parent. I have had a few jobs, but got married out of school and was a housewife before kids and a caregiver to both my parents for over a decade before they both died from cancer.

^This right here is why Op was not working earlier.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thank you! I have another sonogram on Tuesday bc things didn't look good but we'll see... I made up my mind to keep up it before the first sonogram but it's out of my hands now..

Thinking about you Op. Let us know how it goes.

OP, why have you never really worked, as you say in your first post? You say you’ve always been a SAHM, but what did you do until you had your child three years ago?

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thank you! I have another sonogram on Tuesday bc things didn't look good but we'll see... I made up my mind to keep up it before the first sonogram but it's out of my hands now..

thank you for the update OP. let us know how it goes. Hugs!

Anonymous wrote:Go for it! I delivered at 44 and my dear pal from college delivered at 45, turned 45 the month before. She like you conceived naturally and was shocked. Beautiful baby girl whom she adores. You have 18 years to figure out big things like college, and the universe has a way of working everything out. Cheering you on - you can do this!!!

We’re you all unemployed with 2 baby daddies?

OP here, thank you! I have another sonogram on Tuesday bc things didn't look good but we'll see... I made up my mind to keep up it before the first sonogram but it's out of my hands now..

Go for it! I delivered at 44 and my dear pal from college delivered at 45, turned 45 the month before. She like you conceived naturally and was shocked. Beautiful baby girl whom she adores. You have 18 years to figure out big things like college, and the universe has a way of working everything out. Cheering you on - you can do this!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have terminated immediately. You are 43. Who needs a 20 yr old at age 63!

OP has a 3 year old. She’s already going to have a 20 year old when she’s 60. Having a second child who will be 20 when OP is 63 won’t be much different.

HAHAHAHA

Please enlighten me.

I have two children 2 children 3 years apart. There is a world of difference between having one child and zero children, but not much difference in having 2 vs one especially when they’re HS/college age. I actually think the hardest part about having 2 is the all consuming toddler years. Once OP gets through those first few years, it’s smooth sailing after that. I can’t imagine being 63 with a 23 year old and thinking “Life is so much more difficult because I have a second adult child who’s 20 years old.” This doesn’t make sense at all.

Can you imagine being 63 with a child out of college and thinking "Life is so much more difficult because I have a second child in college"?

Of course if college has become affordable by then, it will be a different issue.

Her kids will be right around 4 years apart. If she has two in college at the same time it won't be for long.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have terminated immediately. You are 43. Who needs a 20 yr old at age 63!

OP has a 3 year old. She’s already going to have a 20 year old when she’s 60. Having a second child who will be 20 when OP is 63 won’t be much different.

HAHAHAHA

Please enlighten me.

I have two children 2 children 3 years apart. There is a world of difference between having one child and zero children, but not much difference in having 2 vs one especially when they’re HS/college age. I actually think the hardest part about having 2 is the all consuming toddler years. Once OP gets through those first few years, it’s smooth sailing after that. I can’t imagine being 63 with a 23 year old and thinking “Life is so much more difficult because I have a second adult child who’s 20 years old.” This doesn’t make sense at all.

Can you imagine being 63 with a child out of college and thinking "Life is so much more difficult because I have a second child in college"?

Of course if college has become affordable by then, it will be a different issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have terminated immediately. You are 43. Who needs a 20 yr old at age 63!

OP has a 3 year old. She’s already going to have a 20 year old when she’s 60. Having a second child who will be 20 when OP is 63 won’t be much different.

HAHAHAHA

What? There is very little difference between 60 and 63 unless something rather serious has happened to you during that span of 3 years.

I'm 54 with a 20 year old and I absolutely love having him around. When my youngest is 20, I'll be 57 and I'm sure I'll enjoy him just as much. Dh will turn 59 when our second is 20, I'm not seeing that being an issue at all.

There is a massive difference between one kid and two , especially when you are older

Especially when you’re juggling custody issues with two dads.

You wouldn’t be juggling custody issues with a 20 and 23 year old. Seriously. You guys aren’t even making sense.

I was coming here to make that point and you beat me to it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have terminated immediately. You are 43. Who needs a 20 yr old at age 63!

OP has a 3 year old. She’s already going to have a 20 year old when she’s 60. Having a second child who will be 20 when OP is 63 won’t be much different.

HAHAHAHA

What? There is very little difference between 60 and 63 unless something rather serious has happened to you during that span of 3 years.

I'm 54 with a 20 year old and I absolutely love having him around. When my youngest is 20, I'll be 57 and I'm sure I'll enjoy him just as much. Dh will turn 59 when our second is 20, I'm not seeing that being an issue at all.

There is a massive difference between one kid and two , especially when you are older

Especially when you’re juggling custody issues with two dads.

You wouldn’t be juggling custody issues with a 20 and 23 year old. Seriously. You guys aren’t even making sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have terminated immediately. You are 43. Who needs a 20 yr old at age 63!

OP has a 3 year old. She’s already going to have a 20 year old when she’s 60. Having a second child who will be 20 when OP is 63 won’t be much different.

HAHAHAHA

Please enlighten me.

I have two children 2 children 3 years apart. There is a world of difference between having one child and zero children, but not much difference in having 2 vs one especially when they’re HS/college age. I actually think the hardest part about having 2 is the all consuming toddler years. Once OP gets through those first few years, it’s smooth sailing after that. I can’t imagine being 63 with a 23 year old and thinking “Life is so much more difficult because I have a second adult child who’s 20 years old.” This doesn’t make sense at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have terminated immediately. You are 43. Who needs a 20 yr old at age 63!

I have 20 year old & am 64. I really don’t recommend it. Age is real unfortunately.

You'd still be 64 even if you never had your 20 yo! I don't know about yours, but my 20-ish kids are super helpful.

LOLOLOL you are so funny! Nothing like unemployed with a 3 yo no job no husband and a baby on the way at 43! That’s living it up !

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have terminated immediately. You are 43. Who needs a 20 yr old at age 63!

OP has a 3 year old. She’s already going to have a 20 year old when she’s 60. Having a second child who will be 20 when OP is 63 won’t be much different.

HAHAHAHA

What? There is very little difference between 60 and 63 unless something rather serious has happened to you during that span of 3 years.

I'm 54 with a 20 year old and I absolutely love having him around. When my youngest is 20, I'll be 57 and I'm sure I'll enjoy him just as much. Dh will turn 59 when our second is 20, I'm not seeing that being an issue at all.

There is a massive difference between one kid and two , especially when you are older

Especially when you’re juggling custody issues with two dads.