PP, you are a piece of work. Women who are divorced from the fathers of their children should not be required to spend 4 days traveling to and from Asia so that their children’s fathers can enjoy a childfree vacation. That is an absurd standard. It has zero to do with bitterness. At best, this is a bizarre suggestion. At worst, you are essentially requiring mothers to continue to facilitate relationships between their children and ex-husbands and not requiring the fathers to do that work themselves. It is a ridiculous suggestion.

I say this as a mom who has driven my daughter 5 hours to her dad’s house and then turned right around practically without even exiting the car. Which I also found fairly absurd.

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Anonymous wrote:How old? Who is she going to see?

11 yrs. he wants to take her on half of his vacation with his (childless therefor clueless about children- sorry) new wife. I’m so angry he’s be such an idiot in regards to his parenting responsibilities, I’m shaking. He’s generally a blue ribbon, horrible jerk but even for him, this was a shock to me.

And, what's wrong with him doing a direct flight and going on vacation as a family. If he is taking his child on a vacation he is doing his parenting responsibilities. If he went on vacation without his child then you'd complain. Real issue is you think that money is yours and are upset he got remarried.

no, incorrect. Issue is him putting my child on a 14 hr international flight (Asia to wear cost). We are divorced. If he could be bothered to complete the trip with kids rather than airmailing them back like an inconvenient package , I’d be supportive.

Then, fly with the kids back and forth or offer to do one way if he does one way. Problem solved. Or, if you don't want them airmailed back, let him keep them.

Some people are nuts.

So, you want OP to fly to Asia to escort her daughters back home so her ex can have a fun child-free vacation??? That’s insane. Never mind how exhausting and expensive that double flight would be, she’ll also burn through her vacation days. That is beyond ridiculous.

The dad needs to man up and fly with his children if he wants to take them on a long trip.

I would do this in a heartbeat so my kids could have the experience (travel and time with Dad). I think it is a pretty lame excuse by OP.

you would seriously spend 40+ hrs traveling on planes to pick your kids up from a trip with their father. Seriously? You are a better parent than me. i would not do this. I wold not fly to Asia only to turn right back around.

Dp. Me neither. All for the convenience of their father, so he can easily continue on his child-free vacation through Asia. How about he escort them back to the US, then turn around and fly back to Asia to continue his vacation, if he is so intent on having a child-free part of vacation?

Seriously, did the father or step-mother in this scenario find this thread? Some seriously wacky answers here.

That is my post - that I would make the flight there and back in a heartbeat. It is 2 days. A weekend. It is a no-brainer to me. I can't imagine not doing it. My children are apparently more important to me than yours are to you. But you do you and I'll do me.

NP. OK. Glad we got that sorted out - I guess there is a new litmus test for a caring parent. Apparently, you have to be willing to pay the time and money for a round trip ticket to Asia to pick up your children because your ex couldn't be bothered to do it on a family vacation he is organizing. Move over PPs. Let me join you on the uncaring/biatch parent bench.

It certainly sounds like most of the respondents care more about carrying a grudge against the father rather than giving their children an experience to remember. This isn't about getting back at the Dad, it is about doing something to promote a good relationship between the children/father and to see the children have the experience of a lifetime. If you all can't get over your resentment of your exes then that is on you and shame on you for it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old? Who is she going to see?

11 yrs. he wants to take her on half of his vacation with his (childless therefor clueless about children- sorry) new wife. I’m so angry he’s be such an idiot in regards to his parenting responsibilities, I’m shaking. He’s generally a blue ribbon, horrible jerk but even for him, this was a shock to me.

Doesn't have to be an epic reaction, just say no.

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Anonymous wrote:How old? Who is she going to see?

11 yrs. he wants to take her on half of his vacation with his (childless therefor clueless about children- sorry) new wife. I’m so angry he’s be such an idiot in regards to his parenting responsibilities, I’m shaking. He’s generally a blue ribbon, horrible jerk but even for him, this was a shock to me.

And, what's wrong with him doing a direct flight and going on vacation as a family. If he is taking his child on a vacation he is doing his parenting responsibilities. If he went on vacation without his child then you'd complain. Real issue is you think that money is yours and are upset he got remarried.

no, incorrect. Issue is him putting my child on a 14 hr international flight (Asia to wear cost). We are divorced. If he could be bothered to complete the trip with kids rather than airmailing them back like an inconvenient package , I’d be supportive.

Then, fly with the kids back and forth or offer to do one way if he does one way. Problem solved. Or, if you don't want them airmailed back, let him keep them.

Some people are nuts.

So, you want OP to fly to Asia to escort her daughters back home so her ex can have a fun child-free vacation??? That’s insane. Never mind how exhausting and expensive that double flight would be, she’ll also burn through her vacation days. That is beyond ridiculous.

The dad needs to man up and fly with his children if he wants to take them on a long trip.

I would do this in a heartbeat so my kids could have the experience (travel and time with Dad). I think it is a pretty lame excuse by OP.

you would seriously spend 40+ hrs traveling on planes to pick your kids up from a trip with their father. Seriously? You are a better parent than me. i would not do this. I wold not fly to Asia only to turn right back around.

Dp. Me neither. All for the convenience of their father, so he can easily continue on his child-free vacation through Asia. How about he escort them back to the US, then turn around and fly back to Asia to continue his vacation, if he is so intent on having a child-free part of vacation?

Seriously, did the father or step-mother in this scenario find this thread? Some seriously wacky answers here.

That is my post - that I would make the flight there and back in a heartbeat. It is 2 days. A weekend. It is a no-brainer to me. I can't imagine not doing it. My children are apparently more important to me than yours are to you. But you do you and I'll do me.

NP. OK. Glad we got that sorted out - I guess there is a new litmus test for a caring parent. Apparently, you have to be willing to pay the time and money for a round trip ticket to Asia to pick up your children because your ex couldn't be bothered to do it on a family vacation he is organizing. Move over PPs. Let me join you on the uncaring/biatch parent bench.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old? Who is she going to see?

11 yrs. he wants to take her on half of his vacation with his (childless therefor clueless about children- sorry) new wife. I’m so angry he’s be such an idiot in regards to his parenting responsibilities, I’m shaking. He’s generally a blue ribbon, horrible jerk but even for him, this was a shock to me.

And, what's wrong with him doing a direct flight and going on vacation as a family. If he is taking his child on a vacation he is doing his parenting responsibilities. If he went on vacation without his child then you'd complain. Real issue is you think that money is yours and are upset he got remarried.

no, incorrect. Issue is him putting my child on a 14 hr international flight (Asia to wear cost). We are divorced. If he could be bothered to complete the trip with kids rather than airmailing them back like an inconvenient package , I’d be supportive.

Then, fly with the kids back and forth or offer to do one way if he does one way. Problem solved. Or, if you don't want them airmailed back, let him keep them.

Some people are nuts.

So, you want OP to fly to Asia to escort her daughters back home so her ex can have a fun child-free vacation??? That’s insane. Never mind how exhausting and expensive that double flight would be, she’ll also burn through her vacation days. That is beyond ridiculous.

The dad needs to man up and fly with his children if he wants to take them on a long trip.

I would do this in a heartbeat so my kids could have the experience (travel and time with Dad). I think it is a pretty lame excuse by OP.

you would seriously spend 40+ hrs traveling on planes to pick your kids up from a trip with their father. Seriously? You are a better parent than me. i would not do this. I wold not fly to Asia only to turn right back around.

Dp. Me neither. All for the convenience of their father, so he can easily continue on his child-free vacation through Asia. How about he escort them back to the US, then turn around and fly back to Asia to continue his vacation, if he is so intent on having a child-free part of vacation?

Seriously, did the father or step-mother in this scenario find this thread? Some seriously wacky answers here.

That is my post - that I would make the flight there and back in a heartbeat. It is 2 days. A weekend. It is a no-brainer to me. I can't imagine not doing it. My children are apparently more important to me than yours are to you. But you do you and I'll do me.

Wrong PP. I have traveled to Asia. It amounts to 2 days each way because of the time change, which is basically night for day and day for night - like a full reversal of our time zone. So the travel alone would take 4 days about and then with time changes and probably not sleeping great on an airplane, you would be deliriously exhausted. I would never do this trip back-to-back depart/return, and if I tried, I’d be wiped out for a week.

It's because you just don't love your kids like PP

Seriously thought, I do a heck of a lot for my kids and travel all over with them. This is not some life or death situation or something that will wreck them for life if they don't do it. If the dad want's to take the kids on this trip he can fly with them back home and hope on a plan back to Asia to enjoy the rest of his kid free vacation.

NO!!!

When I was 11 I did flights this long all the time (also divorced parents). And flying unaccompanied has only gotten safer since then. My eldest daughter is very responsible. I would let her fly long haul unaccompanied starting at 10.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old? Who is she going to see?

11 yrs. he wants to take her on half of his vacation with his (childless therefor clueless about children- sorry) new wife. I’m so angry he’s be such an idiot in regards to his parenting responsibilities, I’m shaking. He’s generally a blue ribbon, horrible jerk but even for him, this was a shock to me.

And, what's wrong with him doing a direct flight and going on vacation as a family. If he is taking his child on a vacation he is doing his parenting responsibilities. If he went on vacation without his child then you'd complain. Real issue is you think that money is yours and are upset he got remarried.

no, incorrect. Issue is him putting my child on a 14 hr international flight (Asia to wear cost). We are divorced. If he could be bothered to complete the trip with kids rather than airmailing them back like an inconvenient package , I’d be supportive.

Then, fly with the kids back and forth or offer to do one way if he does one way. Problem solved. Or, if you don't want them airmailed back, let him keep them.

Some people are nuts.

So, you want OP to fly to Asia to escort her daughters back home so her ex can have a fun child-free vacation??? That’s insane. Never mind how exhausting and expensive that double flight would be, she’ll also burn through her vacation days. That is beyond ridiculous.

The dad needs to man up and fly with his children if he wants to take them on a long trip.

I would do this in a heartbeat so my kids could have the experience (travel and time with Dad). I think it is a pretty lame excuse by OP.

you would seriously spend 40+ hrs traveling on planes to pick your kids up from a trip with their father. Seriously? You are a better parent than me. i would not do this. I wold not fly to Asia only to turn right back around.

Dp. Me neither. All for the convenience of their father, so he can easily continue on his child-free vacation through Asia. How about he escort them back to the US, then turn around and fly back to Asia to continue his vacation, if he is so intent on having a child-free part of vacation?

Seriously, did the father or step-mother in this scenario find this thread? Some seriously wacky answers here.

That is my post - that I would make the flight there and back in a heartbeat. It is 2 days. A weekend. It is a no-brainer to me. I can't imagine not doing it. My children are apparently more important to me than yours are to you. But you do you and I'll do me.

Wrong PP. I have traveled to Asia. It amounts to 2 days each way because of the time change, which is basically night for day and day for night - like a full reversal of our time zone. So the travel alone would take 4 days about and then with time changes and probably not sleeping great on an airplane, you would be deliriously exhausted. I would never do this trip back-to-back depart/return, and if I tried, I’d be wiped out for a week.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old? Who is she going to see?

11 yrs. he wants to take her on half of his vacation with his (childless therefor clueless about children- sorry) new wife. I’m so angry he’s be such an idiot in regards to his parenting responsibilities, I’m shaking. He’s generally a blue ribbon, horrible jerk but even for him, this was a shock to me.

And, what's wrong with him doing a direct flight and going on vacation as a family. If he is taking his child on a vacation he is doing his parenting responsibilities. If he went on vacation without his child then you'd complain. Real issue is you think that money is yours and are upset he got remarried.

no, incorrect. Issue is him putting my child on a 14 hr international flight (Asia to wear cost). We are divorced. If he could be bothered to complete the trip with kids rather than airmailing them back like an inconvenient package , I’d be supportive.

Then, fly with the kids back and forth or offer to do one way if he does one way. Problem solved. Or, if you don't want them airmailed back, let him keep them.

Some people are nuts.

So, you want OP to fly to Asia to escort her daughters back home so her ex can have a fun child-free vacation??? That’s insane. Never mind how exhausting and expensive that double flight would be, she’ll also burn through her vacation days. That is beyond ridiculous.

The dad needs to man up and fly with his children if he wants to take them on a long trip.

I would do this in a heartbeat so my kids could have the experience (travel and time with Dad). I think it is a pretty lame excuse by OP.

you would seriously spend 40+ hrs traveling on planes to pick your kids up from a trip with their father. Seriously? You are a better parent than me. i would not do this. I wold not fly to Asia only to turn right back around.

Dp. Me neither. All for the convenience of their father, so he can easily continue on his child-free vacation through Asia. How about he escort them back to the US, then turn around and fly back to Asia to continue his vacation, if he is so intent on having a child-free part of vacation?

Seriously, did the father or step-mother in this scenario find this thread? Some seriously wacky answers here.

That is my post - that I would make the flight there and back in a heartbeat. It is 2 days. A weekend. It is a no-brainer to me. I can't imagine not doing it. My children are apparently more important to me than yours are to you. But you do you and I'll do me.

I did this every summer as a child starting from when I was 10 until I was around 16 (at which point I just flew on my own). From DC to India via Europe, which was usually 2 8-hour flights with a layover, because my parents would ship me off to my grandparents for a few months. It was fine. Minors aren’t really unaccompanied; flight attendants keep an eye on them and whisk them away to a private lounge if there’s a layover. And they are only released to a pre-designated person on the other side. I think you’re being dramatic.

Anonymous wrote:One time I came down with norovirus while I was on the train from NY to DC. I was college age. I spent the entire ride hugging the public toilet on Amtrak. I almost passed out on my way up the escalator. My taxi driver could have taken advantage of me. Thankfully, didn't.

Imagine if something like that happened to your kids on a 14 hour flight. What if the 11 year old gets her period? Anything could happen. I can't believe in a day and age when people call the cops on kids who are 11 walking alone to the playground, anyone would seriously pose the idea that an 11 YO and 9 YO are OK to do this.

THIS

One time I came down with norovirus while I was on the train from NY to DC. I was college age. I spent the entire ride hugging the public toilet on Amtrak. I almost passed out on my way up the escalator. My taxi driver could have taken advantage of me. Thankfully, didn't.

Imagine if something like that happened to your kids on a 14 hour flight. What if the 11 year old gets her period? Anything could happen. I can't believe in a day and age when people call the cops on kids who are 11 walking alone to the playground, anyone would seriously pose the idea that an 11 YO and 9 YO are OK to do this.

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Anonymous wrote:So why not let them have the girls for the entire trip. That will be a great experience for them. It sounds like you are more angry that the ex got married and they do these things than what is best for the kids. Find a compromise.

What makes you think the ex and his wife want to have the two children for time beyond the vacation? Wouldn’t the ex have offered that as an option? Instead he wants to send the girls home on a flight alone so that he and is new wife can continue vacationing in Asia without children.

This is the impression i got too. I don;t know why everyone is assuming OP just won't let he ex have the kids. I think she would be fine if they were flying round trip with the ex. I also think the answer to this question depends on the maturity and experience of the kids. Sounds like they are not very experienced travelers. OP, in your shoes, I would also say no.

OP is saying no to any travel. She'd probably say no even if Dad or stepmom flew both ways with the kids.

That's a straight-up lie. OP said in the first one or two pages: "If he could be bothered to complete the trip with kids rather than airmailing them back like an inconvenient package, I’d be supportive." If the father was willing to fly to and from Asia with his daughters, OP would be okay with it. He's not, and she's not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There must be several bitter step moms here. I see no other way to explain the bizarre attacking of OP for sanely forbidding her ex from sending two elementary girls that have rarely flown before solo across the pacific. You people that think this is fine are nutso.

+1000. Especially the last sentence. Having traveled extensively myself, no way in hell. And the fact that the dad thinks this is remotely ok would make me question his judgment as a parent.

Agree completely. Dad can fly with kids both ways, or leave them home. His choice.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old? Who is she going to see?

11 yrs. he wants to take her on half of his vacation with his (childless therefor clueless about children- sorry) new wife. I’m so angry he’s be such an idiot in regards to his parenting responsibilities, I’m shaking. He’s generally a blue ribbon, horrible jerk but even for him, this was a shock to me.

And, what's wrong with him doing a direct flight and going on vacation as a family. If he is taking his child on a vacation he is doing his parenting responsibilities. If he went on vacation without his child then you'd complain. Real issue is you think that money is yours and are upset he got remarried.

no, incorrect. Issue is him putting my child on a 14 hr international flight (Asia to wear cost). We are divorced. If he could be bothered to complete the trip with kids rather than airmailing them back like an inconvenient package , I’d be supportive.

Then, fly with the kids back and forth or offer to do one way if he does one way. Problem solved. Or, if you don't want them airmailed back, let him keep them.

Some people are nuts.

So, you want OP to fly to Asia to escort her daughters back home so her ex can have a fun child-free vacation??? That’s insane. Never mind how exhausting and expensive that double flight would be, she’ll also burn through her vacation days. That is beyond ridiculous.

The dad needs to man up and fly with his children if he wants to take them on a long trip.

I would do this in a heartbeat so my kids could have the experience (travel and time with Dad). I think it is a pretty lame excuse by OP.

you would seriously spend 40+ hrs traveling on planes to pick your kids up from a trip with their father. Seriously? You are a better parent than me. i would not do this. I wold not fly to Asia only to turn right back around.

Dp. Me neither. All for the convenience of their father, so he can easily continue on his child-free vacation through Asia. How about he escort them back to the US, then turn around and fly back to Asia to continue his vacation, if he is so intent on having a child-free part of vacation?

Seriously, did the father or step-mother in this scenario find this thread? Some seriously wacky answers here.