Anonymous
03/13/2019 17:04
Subject: Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
so pretty typical. Someone starts a thread asking stay-at-home parents if they are happy so that she can make a decision for herself, and some bitter nasties come in and start attacking stay-at-home parents for answering the question.
I am a working mom and the only reason I came to this red was to see the train wreck that other working moms would make it. I wasn't disappointed
I am a working mom and the only reason I came to this red was to see the train wreck that other working moms would make it. I wasn't disappointed
Anonymous
03/13/2019 16:59
Subject: Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is the point of all these threads, anyway? It doesn’t make any stay at home moms suddenly want to go back to work when all the posts call them “lazy” and ask what they do all day, and it doesn’t make working moms want to stay home when people say that they’re “missing their kids childhood” or whatever. I mean even the woman working 10 or 15 hours a week or whatever it was in a professional job was crapped on. What’s the point?
It does make me feel a bit bad that people think I should be working but then I really think about it and if I’m going to work for the opinion of others and not what I want to do that would be ludicrous. I want to sahm, my kids and husband agree. We are happy this way and my situation is unique (as is everyone’s) but I wouldn’t trade it. We’ve done things we could not have otherwise in exchange for the pittance I would earn and the stress it would involve. I love doing all the things other kids have nanny’s do. I’m not knocking people who use them as my dh and many parents don’t enjoy doing some of these tasks. I would think it’s crazy for a high earner who doesn’t enjoy the daily kid stuff to stay home as much as it would be crazy for a low earner married to a high earner to work full time when they love being present for all the home,sports and school stuff.
Yes, you spend more time with your children, but most of us do work do not have nannies. We cook and clean and run errands, etc, we just have less time to do it. I like doing things for my family as well, working for pay (we are all working here) is not exclusive of "doing what nannies do"
Did you take that personally? Because you shouldn’t. It seems like nobody can express their personal thoughts without causing offense. If a wohm says she doesn’t want to be bored I assume they would be bored staying home. I don’t take it personally unless they say “you are bored”. I’m a big cheerleader for working moms. By “doing what nannies do” my main thoughts were of shuttling kids to sports practice and the doldrums. I guess I shouldn’t assume all working people are not as into that kind of thing as I am. Maybe many love it but don’t have as much time. I know plenty of sahms that loathe it so much they don’t even do extracurriculars but we enjoy it. I just mean to say I can choose and that’s my choice.
Anonymous
03/13/2019 16:48
Subject: Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is the point of all these threads, anyway? It doesn’t make any stay at home moms suddenly want to go back to work when all the posts call them “lazy” and ask what they do all day, and it doesn’t make working moms want to stay home when people say that they’re “missing their kids childhood” or whatever. I mean even the woman working 10 or 15 hours a week or whatever it was in a professional job was crapped on. What’s the point?
It does make me feel a bit bad that people think I should be working but then I really think about it and if I’m going to work for the opinion of others and not what I want to do that would be ludicrous. I want to sahm, my kids and husband agree. We are happy this way and my situation is unique (as is everyone’s) but I wouldn’t trade it. We’ve done things we could not have otherwise in exchange for the pittance I would earn and the stress it would involve. I love doing all the things other kids have nanny’s do. I’m not knocking people who use them as my dh and many parents don’t enjoy doing some of these tasks. I would think it’s crazy for a high earner who doesn’t enjoy the daily kid stuff to stay home as much as it would be crazy for a low earner married to a high earner to work full time when they love being present for all the home,sports and school stuff.
Yes, you spend more time with your children, but most of us do work do not have nannies. We cook and clean and run errands, etc, we just have less time to do it. I like doing things for my family as well, working for pay (we are all working here) is not exclusive of "doing what nannies do"
I have a nanny and a housekeeper, and I still cook and clean and run errands. I don’t think anyone is really exempt from that.
Anonymous
03/13/2019 16:18
Subject: Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is the point of all these threads, anyway? It doesn’t make any stay at home moms suddenly want to go back to work when all the posts call them “lazy” and ask what they do all day, and it doesn’t make working moms want to stay home when people say that they’re “missing their kids childhood” or whatever. I mean even the woman working 10 or 15 hours a week or whatever it was in a professional job was crapped on. What’s the point?
It does make me feel a bit bad that people think I should be working but then I really think about it and if I’m going to work for the opinion of others and not what I want to do that would be ludicrous. I want to sahm, my kids and husband agree. We are happy this way and my situation is unique (as is everyone’s) but I wouldn’t trade it. We’ve done things we could not have otherwise in exchange for the pittance I would earn and the stress it would involve. I love doing all the things other kids have nanny’s do. I’m not knocking people who use them as my dh and many parents don’t enjoy doing some of these tasks. I would think it’s crazy for a high earner who doesn’t enjoy the daily kid stuff to stay home as much as it would be crazy for a low earner married to a high earner to work full time when they love being present for all the home,sports and school stuff.
Yes, you spend more time with your children, but most of us do work do not have nannies. We cook and clean and run errands, etc, we just have less time to do it. I like doing things for my family as well, working for pay (we are all working here) is not exclusive of "doing what nannies do"
Anonymous
03/13/2019 15:42
Subject: Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:What is the point of all these threads, anyway? It doesn’t make any stay at home moms suddenly want to go back to work when all the posts call them “lazy” and ask what they do all day, and it doesn’t make working moms want to stay home when people say that they’re “missing their kids childhood” or whatever. I mean even the woman working 10 or 15 hours a week or whatever it was in a professional job was crapped on. What’s the point?
It does make me feel a bit bad that people think I should be working but then I really think about it and if I’m going to work for the opinion of others and not what I want to do that would be ludicrous. I want to sahm, my kids and husband agree. We are happy this way and my situation is unique (as is everyone’s) but I wouldn’t trade it. We’ve done things we could not have otherwise in exchange for the pittance I would earn and the stress it would involve. I love doing all the things other kids have nanny’s do. I’m not knocking people who use them as my dh and many parents don’t enjoy doing some of these tasks. I would think it’s crazy for a high earner who doesn’t enjoy the daily kid stuff to stay home as much as it would be crazy for a low earner married to a high earner to work full time when they love being present for all the home,sports and school stuff.
Anonymous
03/13/2019 15:38
Subject: Re:Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How much $$ do you feel your partner would have to make for you to feel comfortable giving up your job?
My spouse makes $150K, and I stay home with one school age and one younger child. We live in a close-in DC suburb. We are thrifty but live comfortably, travel, etc. We save money nearly ever month, invest, etc. We have a life insurance policy for him, and most of our accounts are joint or in my name.
With college pushing 100k per year, staying home on 150k seems irresponsible.
Nice try. My parents have already taken care of that for us. All the more reason it’s so comfortable and easy riding others' coattails throughout my life.
FTFY
Anonymous
03/13/2019 15:25
Subject: Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
I did a PT WAH job for many years when mine were in preschool and elementary. It kept me in the company, building my reputation, working on big projects, making contacts, etc. Now the kids are in HS and MS and I'm back full time in another role. PP who stated that flexibility is much more available now than 10 years ago is spot on. I've seen it here - no full time people could WAH when I took the job, then it's 1 day a week, and now it's based on your manager.
I WAH 2x a week, plus all sick and snow days, and will take an hour at lunch to hit up the grocery store & the cleaners. I get laundry & meal prep done on WAH days.
Add in the fact that I'm upgrading my skills, keeping current with the latest tech, meeting people in the industry, etc. I just got a bonus + merit increase. It's a great Mom job - I'll never leave!
I WAH 2x a week, plus all sick and snow days, and will take an hour at lunch to hit up the grocery store & the cleaners. I get laundry & meal prep done on WAH days.
Add in the fact that I'm upgrading my skills, keeping current with the latest tech, meeting people in the industry, etc. I just got a bonus + merit increase. It's a great Mom job - I'll never leave!
Anonymous
03/13/2019 15:21
Subject: Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:I stay at home on one income of $150k too. My kids are still little though. But I wasn’t exactly lighting the working world on fire even when I was working, so really, we’re giving up an income of 50-55k for me, before taking into account day care (now) or cobbled-together before and after care and camps (when school age). My job was flexible to an extent, but not really. So it was a pretty easy decision to leave.
Same situation here. We are very comfortable on the income and save for college.
Anonymous
03/13/2019 15:10
Subject: Re:Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How much $$ do you feel your partner would have to make for you to feel comfortable giving up your job?
My spouse makes $150K, and I stay home with one school age and one younger child. We live in a close-in DC suburb. We are thrifty but live comfortably, travel, etc. We save money nearly ever month, invest, etc. We have a life insurance policy for him, and most of our accounts are joint or in my name.
With college pushing 100k per year, staying home on 150k seems irresponsible.
Nice try. My parents have already taken care of that for us. All the more reason it’s so comfortable and easy staying home on my husband’s salary.
Yeah, except that the question wasn't, "how much does your partner need to earn *when your parents are already contributing a substantial amount towards your livelihoods*?"
Good grief, PP.
Anonymous
03/13/2019 15:05
Subject: Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
What is the point of all these threads, anyway? It doesn’t make any stay at home moms suddenly want to go back to work when all the posts call them “lazy” and ask what they do all day, and it doesn’t make working moms want to stay home when people say that they’re “missing their kids childhood” or whatever. I mean even the woman working 10 or 15 hours a week or whatever it was in a professional job was crapped on. What’s the point?
Anonymous
03/13/2019 15:03
Subject: Re:Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How much $$ do you feel your partner would have to make for you to feel comfortable giving up your job?
My spouse makes $150K, and I stay home with one school age and one younger child. We live in a close-in DC suburb. We are thrifty but live comfortably, travel, etc. We save money nearly ever month, invest, etc. We have a life insurance policy for him, and most of our accounts are joint or in my name.
With college pushing 100k per year, staying home on 150k seems irresponsible.
Nice try. My parents have already taken care of that for us. All the more reason it’s so comfortable and easy staying home on my husband’s salary.
Did you ever consider doing anything to provide for yourself?
Hush now, PP. She's better off at home rather than terrorizing some workplace.
Anonymous
03/13/2019 14:54
Subject: Re:Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How much $$ do you feel your partner would have to make for you to feel comfortable giving up your job?
My spouse makes $150K, and I stay home with one school age and one younger child. We live in a close-in DC suburb. We are thrifty but live comfortably, travel, etc. We save money nearly ever month, invest, etc. We have a life insurance policy for him, and most of our accounts are joint or in my name.
With college pushing 100k per year, staying home on 150k seems irresponsible.
Nice try. My parents have already taken care of that for us. All the more reason it’s so comfortable and easy staying home on my husband’s salary.
Did you ever consider doing anything to provide for yourself?
Anonymous
03/13/2019 14:49
Subject: Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
I stay at home on one income of $150k too. My kids are still little though. But I wasn’t exactly lighting the working world on fire even when I was working, so really, we’re giving up an income of 50-55k for me, before taking into account day care (now) or cobbled-together before and after care and camps (when school age). My job was flexible to an extent, but not really. So it was a pretty easy decision to leave.
Anonymous
03/13/2019 13:49
Subject: Re:Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How much $$ do you feel your partner would have to make for you to feel comfortable giving up your job?
My spouse makes $150K, and I stay home with one school age and one younger child. We live in a close-in DC suburb. We are thrifty but live comfortably, travel, etc. We save money nearly ever month, invest, etc. We have a life insurance policy for him, and most of our accounts are joint or in my name.
With college pushing 100k per year, staying home on 150k seems irresponsible.
Nice try. My parents have already taken care of that for us. All the more reason it’s so comfortable and easy staying home on my husband’s salary.
I wouldn’t be so smug. You can’t be saving much if your husband only makes 150k a year. Besides the fact his retirement accounts aren’t in your name. Your parents also don’t have that much money or your husband wouldn’t be working.
Anonymous
03/13/2019 13:43
Subject: Re:Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How much $$ do you feel your partner would have to make for you to feel comfortable giving up your job?
My spouse makes $150K, and I stay home with one school age and one younger child. We live in a close-in DC suburb. We are thrifty but live comfortably, travel, etc. We save money nearly ever month, invest, etc. We have a life insurance policy for him, and most of our accounts are joint or in my name.
With college pushing 100k per year, staying home on 150k seems irresponsible.
Nice try. My parents have already taken care of that for us. All the more reason it’s so comfortable and easy staying home on my husband’s salary.
That is a totally different situation.
DH earns a seven figure income but I would have kept working if he earned 150 or even 500k.