Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:55
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I had my first kid at 28 and it felt like the perfect time to me. I have two girls and my husband and I have talked about either providing childcare or helping to pay for childcare for our kids so they can have their kids when it feels right to them without worrying about that huge expense.
28 was perfect for You. 39 was perfect for my mom. 21 was perfect for my best friend. 35 was perfect for me.
My point is different strokes for different folks.
That’s why I said “to me.” And that’s why I said “when it feels right to them.”
Not sure why you’re trying to argue with me!
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:51
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the huge mistakes of today’s society and I silently shake my head in sad confusion whenever I see a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. It’s not right. Our bodies know it’s not right, but science makes it possible.
It’s one of the many mistake’s of today’s society. We are living in very unnatural times.
Unfortunately, when women were encouraged to marry and have children early, they had very few civil rights. I can’t really imagine how we can change things for women to be supported in having children in their 20’s while still pursuing careers that are equal to men’s careers.
Additionally, a lot of this is due to the fact that MEN don’t want to settle down and have kids in their 20’s, either.
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:51
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:I had my first kid at 28 and it felt like the perfect time to me. I have two girls and my husband and I have talked about either providing childcare or helping to pay for childcare for our kids so they can have their kids when it feels right to them without worrying about that huge expense.
28 was perfect for You. 39 was perfect for my mom. 21 was perfect for my best friend. 35 was perfect for me.
My point is different strokes for different folks.
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:45
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
I had my first kid at 28 and it felt like the perfect time to me. I have two girls and my husband and I have talked about either providing childcare or helping to pay for childcare for our kids so they can have their kids when it feels right to them without worrying about that huge expense.
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:42
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the huge mistakes of today’s society and I silently shake my head in sad confusion whenever I see a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. It’s not right. Our bodies know it’s not right, but science makes it possible.
It’s one of the many mistake’s of today’s society. We are living in very unnatural times.
You know your theory is debunked every time a 40 year old gets pregnant naturally without even trying? My mom was on birth control. And still got pregnant at 40.
But why is that a mistake? It might not be your choice but who are you to say it's not right for someone else? Not all women struggle with fertility or energy or whatever other reasons you think make this a mistake.
Me and I assume the PP certainly realize that women get pregnant naturally in their 40’s. That’s not where the huge mistake comes in. It’s intentiinally putting it off to that age.
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:40
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the huge mistakes of today’s society and I silently shake my head in sad confusion whenever I see a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. It’s not right. Our bodies know it’s not right, but science makes it possible.
It’s one of the many mistake’s of today’s society. We are living in very unnatural times.
You know your theory is debunked every time a 40 year old gets pregnant naturally without even trying? My mom was on birth control. And still got pregnant at 40.
Me and I assume the PP certainly realize that women get pregnant naturally in their 40’s. That’s not where the huge mistake comes in. It’s intentiinally putting it off to that age.
The PP says she shakes her head whenever she sees a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. I don't see how she'd know the person was having their first or the fifth kid.
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:37
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the huge mistakes of today’s society and I silently shake my head in sad confusion whenever I see a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. It’s not right. Our bodies know it’s not right, but science makes it possible.
It’s one of the many mistake’s of today’s society. We are living in very unnatural times.
You know your theory is debunked every time a 40 year old gets pregnant naturally without even trying? My mom was on birth control. And still got pregnant at 40.
Me and I assume the PP certainly realize that women get pregnant naturally in their 40’s. That’s not where the huge mistake comes in. It’s intentiinally putting it off to that age.
Why? As a PP said, pre birth control, women had babies ALL THE TIME in their 30s and 40s. Not sure what point you're trying to make, other than you think women's only function is a baby factories and they should get to it as soon as possible?
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:35
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the huge mistakes of today’s society and I silently shake my head in sad confusion whenever I see a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. It’s not right. Our bodies know it’s not right, but science makes it possible.
It’s one of the many mistake’s of today’s society. We are living in very unnatural times.
You know your theory is debunked every time a 40 year old gets pregnant naturally without even trying? My mom was on birth control. And still got pregnant at 40.
Me and I assume the PP certainly realize that women get pregnant naturally in their 40’s. That’s not where the huge mistake comes in. It’s intentiinally putting it off to that age.
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:32
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:But then a family could live on one salary and women weren't suppose to have careers outside their homes. We can't live on one salary anymore.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous[b wrote:]I hope you support paid family leave and universal affordable childcare, and candidates that push for those policies.[/b]
I do, but in the past, everyone started having kids in their early 20's and none of these things existed.
You could, you just don’t want to.
Sure, we could. Buy an inexpensive house in a neighborhood with poorly rated schools, pinch pennies, have all the basic needs met (food, shelter) but not be able to save for things like trips and college. And then our kids would be at a disadvantage when trying to find their way in this increasingly competitive society. Everyone wants to give their family the best possible start in life and for most, it's not possible on one income.
If everyone started living on one income, prices would adjust and it would be possible for families to live comfortably.
What are you smoking? That's not how a competitive economy works.
Couples today expect house in suburbs, newish cars and much more before having baby #1. They could start a lot earlier if they would do with less possessions. Biology doesn't change. Women should have babies in their 20s. Egg freezing only works about 40 percent of the time and late pregnancies are risky for mom and baby. Ask any OB.
Honestly, shut up. It's one thing to prefer to have kids in your 20s for yourself, it's another to push your obnoxious opinion onto everyone else. I had my kids in my 30s and my life is f*cking awesome. I didn't want to start earlier. Your opinion is useless.
Go away, abuser. You are the same one who always pops up with hateful, nearly violent, PPs. No one wants you around.
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:31
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the huge mistakes of today’s society and I silently shake my head in sad confusion whenever I see a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. It’s not right. Our bodies know it’s not right, but science makes it possible.
It’s one of the many mistake’s of today’s society. We are living in very unnatural times.
You know your theory is debunked every time a 40 year old gets pregnant naturally without even trying? My mom was on birth control. And still got pregnant at 40.
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:31
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the huge mistakes of today’s society and I silently shake my head in sad confusion whenever I see a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. It’s not right. Our bodies know it’s not right, but science makes it possible.
It’s one of the many mistake’s of today’s society. We are living in very unnatural times.
Well, tell that to all those women who had 6+ kids in the days before birth control. I guarantee you they were pregnant in their 30s and even 40s, with no help from science. Honestly, some of them probably didn't want to be pregnant.
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:30
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's not "less possible" to live on one income these days than when our grandparents had kids. People just have higher desires and expectations now. Head over to the "travel forum" on DCUM and see the kind of trips people are talking about. And these aren't "once in a life time" kind of trips--people are going on "big trips" like African safaris, Caribbean cruises, jaunts to Europe as a family multiple times each year! My grandparents (who had their kids in their early 20's) could have never dreamed of that! "Vacation" back then was a week or two camping at lake or something.
People aren't delaying kids because they HAVE TO to survive, they are doing it so they can afford kids AND extravagant lifestyle. That's their choice.
We have an HHI of $300k and literally no one in our circle vacations outside the U.S. Most people go camping or to the beach. We live in a modest townhouse with one car, and one kid who attends public school. [b] These are not extravagant choices. The issues we deal with are things like long commutes that cut into family time, daycare that costs as much as our mortgage, and saving for retirement, college, and elder care. Those are things my grandparents couldn't and didn't imagine.
Move to the suburbs, stat.
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:28
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the huge mistakes of today’s society and I silently shake my head in sad confusion whenever I see a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. It’s not right. Our bodies know it’s not right, but science makes it possible.
It’s one of the many mistake’s of today’s society. We are living in very unnatural times.
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:25
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:But then a family could live on one salary and women weren't suppose to have careers outside their homes. We can't live on one salary anymore.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous[b wrote:]I hope you support paid family leave and universal affordable childcare, and candidates that push for those policies.[/b]
I do, but in the past, everyone started having kids in their early 20's and none of these things existed.
You could, you just don’t want to.
Sure, we could. Buy an inexpensive house in a neighborhood with poorly rated schools, pinch pennies, have all the basic needs met (food, shelter) but not be able to save for things like trips and college. And then our kids would be at a disadvantage when trying to find their way in this increasingly competitive society. Everyone wants to give their family the best possible start in life and for most, it's not possible on one income.
If everyone started living on one income, prices would adjust and it would be possible for families to live comfortably.
What are you smoking? That's not how a competitive economy works.
Couples today expect house in suburbs, newish cars and much more before having baby #1. They could start a lot earlier if they would do with less possessions. Biology doesn't change. Women should have babies in their 20s. Egg freezing only works about 40 percent of the time and late pregnancies are risky for mom and baby. Ask any OB.
My OB had two babies in her 40’s because she was busy working!!
Anonymous
03/01/2019 16:25
Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It was a different time back then.
Yes, the way nature intended. Men did the bulk of the labor and women raised children. Society has changed these roles, but we haven’t evolved past them yet, and as PP mentioned, women are birthing children well past their child-bearing prime.
Women have been having kids in their 30s and even early 40s all along--they were just having their third or fourth or fifth kid, not their first kid. My grandmother had six kids--her youngest in her 20s, her last in her mid/late 30s.
Also, women did lots of labor--on farms, as maids, in home businesses like spinning/weaving or laundry. Or they hired other women to care for their kids, including nursing them. Very few women both took care of their own children AND performed no paid work or farmwork.