I'm the room parent at a public school. I end up paying for most of the food for kids' parties. We don't get pizza for parties, but it takes a lot of effort to put together a table of healthy food for these parties.

Before the holidays, I asked parents to vote to decide if they wanted to have a group class gift, then 1/2 backed out at the last minute, so I end up fronting 100s of dollars for that (instead of the 20 per family).

I have a serious illness and I lost my job this year (I have a temporary, lower paying one now). I still did the right thing.

I have no sympathy for the shirkers who don't even give a thought to the burden they're placing on a VOLUNTEER who is trying to make sure things are nice for all their kids and the teacher who takes care of them 8 hours a day.

Do better shirkers.

This is public school. I pay taxes. I am NOT paying dues so that kids can have lavish parties all year.

And these same people demanding that I fork over $100 for each kid probably lectured me on a different thread about not having enough savings to get through the shutdown.

Anonymous wrote:It is nothing like this at our affluent public school. School only allows 3 parties per year: Halloween, Christmas/Holiday, end of year. No money collected. Room parent does sign up genius for food/games/crafts. No pizza, just snacks.

Teacher gifts are by family, not whole class.

This seems to work well. You should try it OP. I’m and active participant (send something in every party) and spend nowhere near $135, even including $30 teacher gift card 2x a year. I think you are doing it wrong.

+1
I’m a room parent. No beginning of year collection of money - just sign up genius for each party.

Do kids want a party after 2nd or 3rd grade?? I doubt it.

And 135 on pizza is a whole pizza per kid at pizza hut.

MCPS parent here. We have a Halloween party, vday, and end of year. Gifts our given by the family if they want
they want.

Party is a mini cupcake on a paper towel with a bottle of water. Activity is playing games.

I think the mini cupcakes are $4.99/12. We need 3 boxes that $15. Say $10 for the water which will leave some left over for the next party.

I’m in a W district, not the room parent, and think this is fine.

I have been a room parent for two years, the only money I collect is for Christmas and the end of the year teacher gift. I just can’t understand why you are spending so much money on class parties. Set up a sign up genius for any party food or activity and call it a day. And it sounds like you are having pizza so you don’t have to worry about your kid being fed before their after school activity. Just stop. Maybe it’s time you stopped being room parent if you are so bothered by the other parents.

Anonymous wrote:It is nothing like this at our affluent public school. School only allows 3 parties per year: Halloween, Christmas/Holiday, end of year. No money collected. Room parent does sign up genius for food/games/crafts. No pizza, just snacks.

Teacher gifts are by family, not whole class.

This seems to work well. You should try it OP. I’m and active participant (send something in every party) and spend nowhere near $135, even including $30 teacher gift card 2x a year. I think you are doing it wrong.

+1. I believe they asked for $25 and made it clear that it was optional. We had a very low key Halloween party and I don't think we will have another party until the end of the year.

It is nothing like this at our affluent public school. School only allows 3 parties per year: Halloween, Christmas/Holiday, end of year. No money collected. Room parent does sign up genius for food/games/crafts. No pizza, just snacks.

Teacher gifts are by family, not whole class.

This seems to work well. You should try it OP. I’m and active participant (send something in every party) and spend nowhere near $135, even including $30 teacher gift card 2x a year. I think you are doing it wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did parties become this giant thing?

To me, as a teacher, an appropriate party starts 15 minutes before dismissal or before the Halloween parade starts. It has 1 treat, like cupcakes or cookies or brownies, and juice boxes if you want to splurge. It has one activity which does not need to cost anything. If it is a party to which parents are invited, it might be singing a song, or reading our latest poems. If it is Halloween then it’s the parade. Otherwise it might be going onto the playground to play wizards, giants and elves, or hot potato or musical chairs in the classroom, or a quick dance party. It might be decorating sugar cookies, if that is the one snack. If there are decorations they are paper chains and pictures the kids made the last time it was indoor recess.

Anything more than that is teaching the kids the wrong things about nutrition, consumption, and their own agency. It is harmful. So, no, if I know you are planning pizza, and crafts, and anything that lasts longer than 20 minutes, I am not giving money to that. My kid will be there because I can’t just leave work to pick him up, and he will eat the pizza because it’s there. But I will be disappointed that it happened.

You should take off and get your kid if you don’t like how it is done and will not contribute. Solves the problem for everyone. If work is a priority then you can throw in a few dollars or buy something to donate. It’s not harmful to have a slice of pizza and cake if it’s not a regular thing. But, if it’s harmful, it’s probably because you feed your kid crap at home. Just get your kid or opt them out.

You really think that a parent who is working, as a teacher no less, should have to take off work and grab her kid if she doesn't want to contribute to your idea of a dream class party? That's crazy.

You grocery shop or run errands or order online. Is it really that hard to pick up a pack of plates or thrown in a few dollars to a party? Everyone keeps saying that parties are dictated by room parents. They are dictated by the school and the school dictates a parent organize them. We often don't get enough volunteers for room parents because of this attitude. Really, worst case, even at Target or a grocery store, a pack of plates is $3 max. Is that asking too much 2-3 times a year to donate? You are being extreme to say someone is taking off work when they are shopping at least weekly anyway.

The PP told me that I should remove my child from school during a party if I'm not willing to contribute financially. Yes, that requires taking off work. As I said, I'm a teacher. It's not a job with flex time, and leave can only be taken in 1/2 day increments. I have 2 days of personal leave a year, so using up 1/4 of that, not to mention disrupting my students' education, to prevent Pinterest mom from having to serve my kid pizza, is an unreasonable thing.

I believe very strongly in the power of kids building their own community in their classroom, including planning their own celebrations and making do with what they have. Whether that's making their own decorations, or planning their own games, or bringing in some of the napkins that they already have rather than buying a pack, even at Dollar general, that matches some adult directed theme. I hear people here saying "Oh, but my kid likes the parties the way they are now", but kids like simpler parties too, and they like making decisions and thinking creatively.

That's great that you are a strong believer in building their own community, but you realize every school and teacher runs differently. It would be great to get the kids involved but at our school, every time I've done it, when the kids ask to even help do things like decorate, the teacher says no and makes them sit there watching us. So, yes, I'd love them to make the decorations or games - I'd be happy to contribute to the supplies, but not every teacher allows it or supports that. Simple is great, but donating a pack of plates or napkins or a bag of grapes or a parent is as simple as it gets. As a teacher, I'd hope you'd help contribute to your child's classroom. I'd hope all parents who can, do.

And, may of us use pin interest and other blogs as we are not creative and they have cheap/low cost ideas on how to make fun parties. I'm sure people think I spend way more than I do. Ours look far more grand than they are. Just like you said, its about being creative, which is ironic you are slamming parents for being creative.

You have no idea how much easier it would be if I could just show up with food or get enough donations so all I had to do was help in classroom and the kids/teacher did all the decorations and games as that is the most challenging part to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did parties become this giant thing?

To me, as a teacher, an appropriate party starts 15 minutes before dismissal or before the Halloween parade starts. It has 1 treat, like cupcakes or cookies or brownies, and juice boxes if you want to splurge. It has one activity which does not need to cost anything. If it is a party to which parents are invited, it might be singing a song, or reading our latest poems. If it is Halloween then it’s the parade. Otherwise it might be going onto the playground to play wizards, giants and elves, or hot potato or musical chairs in the classroom, or a quick dance party. It might be decorating sugar cookies, if that is the one snack. If there are decorations they are paper chains and pictures the kids made the last time it was indoor recess.

Anything more than that is teaching the kids the wrong things about nutrition, consumption, and their own agency. It is harmful. So, no, if I know you are planning pizza, and crafts, and anything that lasts longer than 20 minutes, I am not giving money to that. My kid will be there because I can’t just leave work to pick him up, and he will eat the pizza because it’s there. But I will be disappointed that it happened.

You should take off and get your kid if you don’t like how it is done and will not contribute. Solves the problem for everyone. If work is a priority then you can throw in a few dollars or buy something to donate. It’s not harmful to have a slice of pizza and cake if it’s not a regular thing. But, if it’s harmful, it’s probably because you feed your kid crap at home. Just get your kid or opt them out.

You really think that a parent who is working, as a teacher no less, should have to take off work and grab her kid if she doesn't want to contribute to your idea of a dream class party? That's crazy.

You grocery shop or run errands or order online. Is it really that hard to pick up a pack of plates or thrown in a few dollars to a party? Everyone keeps saying that parties are dictated by room parents. They are dictated by the school and the school dictates a parent organize them. We often don't get enough volunteers for room parents because of this attitude. Really, worst case, even at Target or a grocery store, a pack of plates is $3 max. Is that asking too much 2-3 times a year to donate? You are being extreme to say someone is taking off work when they are shopping at least weekly anyway.

The PP told me that I should remove my child from school during a party if I'm not willing to contribute financially. Yes, that requires taking off work. As I said, I'm a teacher. It's not a job with flex time, and leave can only be taken in 1/2 day increments. I have 2 days of personal leave a year, so using up 1/4 of that, not to mention disrupting my students' education, to prevent Pinterest mom from having to serve my kid pizza, is an unreasonable thing.

I believe very strongly in the power of kids building their own community in their classroom, including planning their own celebrations and making do with what they have. Whether that's making their own decorations, or planning their own games, or bringing in some of the napkins that they already have rather than buying a pack, even at Dollar general, that matches some adult directed theme. I hear people here saying "Oh, but my kid likes the parties the way they are now", but kids like simpler parties too, and they like making decisions and thinking creatively.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did parties become this giant thing?

To me, as a teacher, an appropriate party starts 15 minutes before dismissal or before the Halloween parade starts. It has 1 treat, like cupcakes or cookies or brownies, and juice boxes if you want to splurge. It has one activity which does not need to cost anything. If it is a party to which parents are invited, it might be singing a song, or reading our latest poems. If it is Halloween then it’s the parade. Otherwise it might be going onto the playground to play wizards, giants and elves, or hot potato or musical chairs in the classroom, or a quick dance party. It might be decorating sugar cookies, if that is the one snack. If there are decorations they are paper chains and pictures the kids made the last time it was indoor recess.

Anything more than that is teaching the kids the wrong things about nutrition, consumption, and their own agency. It is harmful. So, no, if I know you are planning pizza, and crafts, and anything that lasts longer than 20 minutes, I am not giving money to that. My kid will be there because I can’t just leave work to pick him up, and he will eat the pizza because it’s there. But I will be disappointed that it happened.

You should take off and get your kid if you don’t like how it is done and will not contribute. Solves the problem for everyone. If work is a priority then you can throw in a few dollars or buy something to donate. It’s not harmful to have a slice of pizza and cake if it’s not a regular thing. But, if it’s harmful, it’s probably because you feed your kid crap at home. Just get your kid or opt them out.

You really think that a parent who is working, as a teacher no less, should have to take off work and grab her kid if she doesn't want to contribute to your idea of a dream class party? That's crazy.

You grocery shop or run errands or order online. Is it really that hard to pick up a pack of plates or thrown in a few dollars to a party? Everyone keeps saying that parties are dictated by room parents. They are dictated by the school and the school dictates a parent organize them. We often don't get enough volunteers for room parents because of this attitude. Really, worst case, even at Target or a grocery store, a pack of plates is $3 max. Is that asking too much 2-3 times a year to donate? You are being extreme to say someone is taking off work when they are shopping at least weekly anyway.

The post I responded to literally said the teacher should take off from work to get her kid if she didn't want to contribute. It had nothing to do with taking off work to go shopping.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did parties become this giant thing?

To me, as a teacher, an appropriate party starts 15 minutes before dismissal or before the Halloween parade starts. It has 1 treat, like cupcakes or cookies or brownies, and juice boxes if you want to splurge. It has one activity which does not need to cost anything. If it is a party to which parents are invited, it might be singing a song, or reading our latest poems. If it is Halloween then it’s the parade. Otherwise it might be going onto the playground to play wizards, giants and elves, or hot potato or musical chairs in the classroom, or a quick dance party. It might be decorating sugar cookies, if that is the one snack. If there are decorations they are paper chains and pictures the kids made the last time it was indoor recess.

Anything more than that is teaching the kids the wrong things about nutrition, consumption, and their own agency. It is harmful. So, no, if I know you are planning pizza, and crafts, and anything that lasts longer than 20 minutes, I am not giving money to that. My kid will be there because I can’t just leave work to pick him up, and he will eat the pizza because it’s there. But I will be disappointed that it happened.

You should take off and get your kid if you don’t like how it is done and will not contribute. Solves the problem for everyone. If work is a priority then you can throw in a few dollars or buy something to donate. It’s not harmful to have a slice of pizza and cake if it’s not a regular thing. But, if it’s harmful, it’s probably because you feed your kid crap at home. Just get your kid or opt them out.

You really think that a parent who is working, as a teacher no less, should have to take off work and grab her kid if she doesn't want to contribute to your idea of a dream class party? That's crazy.

You grocery shop or run errands or order online. Is it really that hard to pick up a pack of plates or thrown in a few dollars to a party? Everyone keeps saying that parties are dictated by room parents. They are dictated by the school and the school dictates a parent organize them. We often don't get enough volunteers for room parents because of this attitude. Really, worst case, even at Target or a grocery store, a pack of plates is $3 max. Is that asking too much 2-3 times a year to donate? You are being extreme to say someone is taking off work when they are shopping at least weekly anyway.

Anonymous wrote:I was often the room parent when my kids were in lower grades and I used to send out emails at the beginning of the year detailing what activities, parties, food, teacher's gift we would have for the entire year. I met with the teacher to draw out the plans (usually duplicating what was done in the previous years), and send an email and a signup genius link to all parents. An email was sent every week for the first 6 weeks, listing the names of all the people who had contributed. Within the first couple of weeks, all parents used to sent in their fixed $ contribution. We usually had a set number of celebrations, some activities and holiday teacher's gift. We relied on some parents to make a costco run for the parties.

I did not want to run after people to get money from them, so I made sure that all the funds were collected during the first few weeks of school. I sent emails every week for the first few weeks listing the names of people who contributed and those who still had to. It was easy to write the reminder emails at the beginning of the year.

OP, being a room parent is a responsibility not a popularity contest. You need to be blunt and make sure that everyone contributes at least a minimum agreed upon amount. If people want to contribute more it is up to them, but the fixed amount contribution is mandatory.

How exactly was this mandatory minimum amount "agreed upon?" Did you take a survey of the class? Did every parent say that $X was ok with them?

I highly doubt that. I imagine that you, or you and the other room parents "agreed" upon the minimum amount and then tried to dictate that to the rest of the parents. Sorry, honey that ain't an agreed upon amount and no one has an obligation to accede to your demands. And your public shaming is disgusting and I would do everything in my power to make sure you could never be a room parent again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did parties become this giant thing?

To me, as a teacher, an appropriate party starts 15 minutes before dismissal or before the Halloween parade starts. It has 1 treat, like cupcakes or cookies or brownies, and juice boxes if you want to splurge. It has one activity which does not need to cost anything. If it is a party to which parents are invited, it might be singing a song, or reading our latest poems. If it is Halloween then it’s the parade. Otherwise it might be going onto the playground to play wizards, giants and elves, or hot potato or musical chairs in the classroom, or a quick dance party. It might be decorating sugar cookies, if that is the one snack. If there are decorations they are paper chains and pictures the kids made the last time it was indoor recess.

Anything more than that is teaching the kids the wrong things about nutrition, consumption, and their own agency. It is harmful. So, no, if I know you are planning pizza, and crafts, and anything that lasts longer than 20 minutes, I am not giving money to that. My kid will be there because I can’t just leave work to pick him up, and he will eat the pizza because it’s there. But I will be disappointed that it happened.

You should take off and get your kid if you don’t like how it is done and will not contribute. Solves the problem for everyone. If work is a priority then you can throw in a few dollars or buy something to donate. It’s not harmful to have a slice of pizza and cake if it’s not a regular thing. But, if it’s harmful, it’s probably because you feed your kid crap at home. Just get your kid or opt them out.

You really think that a parent who is working, as a teacher no less, should have to take off work and grab her kid if she doesn't want to contribute to your idea of a dream class party? That's crazy.

Anonymous wrote:"No more parties until the end of the year."

If I was a parent in your DC's class, I would be happy. Why should they have parties? The only parties my kids have are a couple of big parties for the whole school and they are paid by the PTA, not by classrooms.

Our PTA does not pay for parties. If yours do, great. You can do low cost parties and the kids enjoy them. For some kids, its the only parties with their peers they get invited to. Yours may go to parties every weekend, but not all do so its a big deal to some of them. Even if they get invited the parents don't take them. So, why have parties? Are you really that selfish/stingy when you don't have to do anything to deny 2-3-4 parties a year.

OP should pay for the remaining parties. She misused the money and now is complaining.