My question with the phase is: can a girl be in a lesbian relationship- including sexually and still call it a phase? When I was a teen, there was no way I would want to be with another girl- it was a turnoff. So my thought is that if someone actually acts on it, they probably are truly gay or bi.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't read all the responses, but LOOOOOLLLL at this being "trendy." Parents and other Olds were saying that when I was a teenager-- 20-25 years ago. "It's so ~*trendy*~." Yeah, ever since it became marginally socially acceptable to say it out loud, adults have been calling it a trend, because they hope it will pass.

Yup

Yes, this reminds me of something MIL said to me once. Dd had told me she was bi and then later that she was a lesbian. Fine. We were cool with that. But it upset her grandmother. At one point, MIL says to me on the phone something like the fact that every girl goes through this phase and she even went through it when she was dd's age. And I said to MIL, uh, no I didn't go through that phase. After that, I always wondered about MIL's sexual orientation. But, you know, this is something people should decide for themselves and they may change as they grow older. That's their business.

Full disclosure: I did actually try to be attracted to girls once but it failed. I was in middle school in the 60s and it struck me that boys had the best lives ever and being a girl sucked and so I would try to do whatever boys did because obviously [heh heh] it was better. So in 8th grade, I tried to get a kick out of looking at girls' legs, because that's what boys were supposed to do. No, it just left me cold. No interest whatsoever. It took me a few years but eventually I realized that some traditional girls' things were fun - like wearing jewelry and knitting - and that I should do what I wanted to do and stop worrying about whether it was traditional for boys or girls.

God, I love living today. It's soooo much better than when I was a girl! While I find this assertion that bisexuality is only a fashion statement annoying - isn't great that we're arguing about it rather than everyone freaking out over kids showing any sign of not conforming with traditional gender roles?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely do not think being gay is a phase. I don’t think it’s a lifestyle choice at all.

That said, I think sometimes people, especially teens/young adults, go through phases where they think they are gay or bi. Girls get a “girl crush” or guys get a “ guy crush” and think that means they’re gay/bi. I am straight but have definitely had girl crushes.

I know a woman who came out to her entire family many years ago. They supported her and she began dating women. She quickly figured out that she is not actually gay at all. She has been happily married to a man for about 20 years.

So being gay was a phase for her.

For her, yes. Sorta. Not because it was trendy (it wasn’t at the time) or because she was rebelling against her religious parents. She went through a phase where she thought she was gay because there were women she felt attracted to. I don’t think shecrealized it’s normal for straight people to be attracted to people of the same sex. I think her situation is rare, but not unheard of.

I know it seems like I’m contradicting myself. I’m just saying that I truly believe being gay is not a phase or a choice. But occasionally it can actually turn out to be a phase of confusion or experimenting.

It happens in all aspects of life, not just sexuality. People think they know who they are or what they want and then they realize they were wrong. My SIL decided that she was buddhist. After awhile, she decided she wasnt. This didn’t discredit every actual Buddhist. And there was nothing wrong with that fact that she thought she identified with it and tried to embrace it, but then realized it was not really her.