Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me vent about our DIL! Her three YO is overwhelmingly demanding and will scream until she gets her way. Her mother will just speak sweetly to her and give in. DIL will get upset when our son says it time for a time out - penalty box - or when my DH tells the little one to stop. After three days and nights of it I encouraged my son to head home a few hours early. Hopefully the child will grow out of it but if she continues to get her way why would she stop?

That three year old is every bit your son's child, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tonight, my supposedly Christian FIL started talking about how he got into a debate with his Jewish friend about the Old Testament, and how he found Jews "arrogant" for considering themselves the chosen people. Due to their arrogance, he could "kinda see where Hitler was coming from". I about strangled him at the dining room table.

If you didn't immediately challenge his words, ask him to leave your home (or leave the premesis of wherever you were yourself), you are complicit to his xenophobic and harmful comment. If you would stay silent through that comment, what WOUDL make you speak up?

I agree, and I did challenge him immediately and told him there was no place in my house for those sentiments. I wasn’t exaggerating that I felt full of rage. He recanted and apologized and said he didn’t mean to sound anti Semitic and that there was no justification for Hitler’s actions. I told him that his words were unacceptable and to really think about what he said. He apologized again this morning. I’m not fully convinced but he told his son he didn’t sleep last night so clearly he felt some remorse. But I don’t forget such things easily and never stay silent in such cases. I’m known as the family spitfire, but I think it’s what all decent people should do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These bitches HOVER in my kitchen as I am trying to finish dinner prep. And yes, I provide plenty and serve apps. You would think they were raised in a barn.

Mine do this too. It drives me crazy!

Mine are seriously like cats. The second they get any sense that I am starting to prepare food, they literally gather around my kitchen island and STAND THERE, watching me like a hawk, as I get the food ready. It is so effing irritating. And I promise, I do put out snacks and make it clear that people are free to help themselves to whatever, whenever. I even put out cocktails/apps IN THE OTHER ROOM to try to lure them away from the kitchen. But no! They stand there chewing crackers and cheese and staring at me as I'm getting dinner together. It is bizarre. Why do some people do this?!

Because they feel bad enjoying themselves while you work. My friends do this to me and I do it to them. It's nice because I can talk to them, and ask them to lend a hand when I need it. Or vice-versa if I'm at their house.

They don't offer to help. They just stand there and eat and drink wine and h-o-v-e-r. It is SO annoying. If it were really about them wanting to offer, they'd offer. If it were really about them wanting to talk to me, they could do so from the living room--open floor plan.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me vent about our DIL! Her three YO is overwhelmingly demanding and will scream until she gets her way. Her mother will just speak sweetly to her and give in. DIL will get upset when our son says it time for a time out - penalty box - or when my DH tells the little one to stop. After three days and nights of it I encouraged my son to head home a few hours early. Hopefully the child will grow out of it but if she continues to get her way why would she stop?

That three year old is every bit your son's child, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tonight, my supposedly Christian FIL started talking about how he got into a debate with his Jewish friend about the Old Testament, and how he found Jews "arrogant" for considering themselves the chosen people. Due to their arrogance, he could "kinda see where Hitler was coming from". I about strangled him at the dining room table.

If you didn't immediately challenge his words, ask him to leave your home (or leave the premesis of wherever you were yourself), you are complicit to his xenophobic and harmful comment. If you would stay silent through that comment, what WOUDL make you speak up?

Anonymous wrote:Let me vent about our DIL! Her three YO is overwhelmingly demanding and will scream until she gets her way. Her mother will just speak sweetly to her and give in. DIL will get upset when our son says it time for a time out - penalty box - or when my DH tells the little one to stop. After three days and nights of it I encouraged my son to head home a few hours early. Hopefully the child will grow out of it but if she continues to get her way why would she stop?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These bitches HOVER in my kitchen as I am trying to finish dinner prep. And yes, I provide plenty and serve apps. You would think they were raised in a barn.

Mine do this too. It drives me crazy!

Mine are seriously like cats. The second they get any sense that I am starting to prepare food, they literally gather around my kitchen island and STAND THERE, watching me like a hawk, as I get the food ready. It is so effing irritating. And I promise, I do put out snacks and make it clear that people are free to help themselves to whatever, whenever. I even put out cocktails/apps IN THE OTHER ROOM to try to lure them away from the kitchen. But no! They stand there chewing crackers and cheese and staring at me as I'm getting dinner together. It is bizarre. Why do some people do this?!

Because they feel bad enjoying themselves while you work. My friends do this to me and I do it to them. It's nice because I can talk to them, and ask them to lend a hand when I need it. Or vice-versa if I'm at their house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These bitches HOVER in my kitchen as I am trying to finish dinner prep. And yes, I provide plenty and serve apps. You would think they were raised in a barn.

Mine do this too. It drives me crazy!

Mine are seriously like cats. The second they get any sense that I am starting to prepare food, they literally gather around my kitchen island and STAND THERE, watching me like a hawk, as I get the food ready. It is so effing irritating. And I promise, I do put out snacks and make it clear that people are free to help themselves to whatever, whenever. I even put out cocktails/apps IN THE OTHER ROOM to try to lure them away from the kitchen. But no! They stand there chewing crackers and cheese and staring at me as I'm getting dinner together. It is bizarre. Why do some people do this?!

Do they offer to help while they’re standing there?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tonight, my supposedly Christian FIL started talking about how he got into a debate with his Jewish friend about the Old Testament, and how he found Jews "arrogant" for considering themselves the chosen people. Due to their arrogance, he could "kinda see where Hitler was coming from". I about strangled him at the dining room table.

If you didn't immediately challenge his words, ask him to leave your home (or leave the premesis of wherever you were yourself), you are complicit to his xenophobic and harmful comment. If you would stay silent through that comment, what WOUDL make you speak up?

Not PP but I have an elderly mother who says some cringeworthy things, never about Hiltler, but she is clearly not a fan of illegal immigrants/undocumented citizens. Throwing people out because of what they say is not always an answer. Let me educate you on the human brain, the frontal lob which is where reasoning and a person’s ‘filter’ is, starts to weaken as they age. Take that into consideration when you throw people out. Instead of matching their intolerance, share why killing people based on their beliefs is heinous and inhuman. If they do not want to hear words of sensibility then change the discussion. Psychological and sociological studies show we all base ideals and generalizations on sex, race, religion, etc... It is a wide spectrum of how each of us view others ranging from strong affinity to strong disdain for each other. I am not trying to oversimplify or justify anyone’s words or behavior but humans are flawed and will always have judgements on people, places or things that do not align with others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These bitches HOVER in my kitchen as I am trying to finish dinner prep. And yes, I provide plenty and serve apps. You would think they were raised in a barn.

Mine do this too. It drives me crazy!

Mine are seriously like cats. The second they get any sense that I am starting to prepare food, they literally gather around my kitchen island and STAND THERE, watching me like a hawk, as I get the food ready. It is so effing irritating. And I promise, I do put out snacks and make it clear that people are free to help themselves to whatever, whenever. I even put out cocktails/apps IN THE OTHER ROOM to try to lure them away from the kitchen. But no! They stand there chewing crackers and cheese and staring at me as I'm getting dinner together. It is bizarre. Why do some people do this?!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still want to know what indigenous people’s food is.

I’m not doing anything crazy. Still having turkey, but cooking it on the grill with chiles. Mashed squash instead of potatoes. Stuffing made from homemade cornbread. I was going to do authentic indigenous food- the area we live in has Navajo, Apache, and Pueblo populations- but toned it down for my ILs. I’m not a fan of thanksgiving in general because of what it represents and thought this was a nice compromise.

Next year the plan is to make good using only native foods I’ve grown, foraged, or hunted myself

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These bitches HOVER in my kitchen as I am trying to finish dinner prep. And yes, I provide plenty and serve apps. You would think they were raised in a barn.

Mine do this too. It drives me crazy!

Mine are seriously like cats. The second they get any sense that I am starting to prepare food, they literally gather around my kitchen island and STAND THERE, watching me like a hawk, as I get the food ready. It is so effing irritating. And I promise, I do put out snacks and make it clear that people are free to help themselves to whatever, whenever. I even put out cocktails/apps IN THE OTHER ROOM to try to lure them away from the kitchen. But no! They stand there chewing crackers and cheese and staring at me as I'm getting dinner together. It is bizarre. Why do some people do this?!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These bitches HOVER in my kitchen as I am trying to finish dinner prep. And yes, I provide plenty and serve apps. You would think they were raised in a barn.

Mine do this too. It drives me crazy!