Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey we need an update!

OP here! I can't believe I just logged on but here is the update. There is nothing to report since our date on Saturday except texts and a couple of very nice calls. He really wants to spend time with me and now we are just working on how and when but I did invite him to my place for dinner this weekend. He's sure he will find a sitter but he said it's the first weekend sitter he's had to arrange. I've never dated a guy with kids before so I guess that this is something I will need to get use to but I think he's worth it. We are very much in agreement that we need to move slowly as it relates to his children getting to know me. We also have to deal with the fact that are companies do business together and that just adds another level of complexity. It's never easy!

I hope he has a big wang. That would really be the icing on cake, so to speak.

Since she invited him to dinner at her place you can be pretty sure her intent is to check the icing on the cake. That must be the dessert she has planned. lol kidding aside, good luck OP!

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here-

I'd go to the first day of school over a funeral any day. The funeral is full of people who can give support. Kids come first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to love the kids as well as him to make this work. He would have to respect that you are now their mom. Blended family next door is breaking up because dad overrides his new wife's perfectly reasonable household rules. Shoes off, wash hands, no jumping on sofa.

Yup this. I married into a similar situation OP. I loved the man. I loved the kids. But I was always relegated to second place. I don’t mean trivial things like Valentines dates vs school plays. Or stuff like sex being interrupted by a nightmare or sick kid. No I mean stuff like pp mentioned , I mean that when my aunt who raised me became ill and passed away it was an actual argument if he would go to the funeral and support me or skip it for the first day of school.

Yes his kids are important but this doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like an afterthought.

Looking back I believed I went to fast with my ex because I was late 30s .

This could be a great thing, but take your time and really get to know him and what he expects your role to be.

[b]


Maybe I'm weird but I think the first day of school is more important that your aunt's funeral. I don't have kids but I work with them. I assume you had other family at the funeral?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to love the kids as well as him to make this work. He would have to respect that you are now their mom. Blended family next door is breaking up because dad overrides his new wife's perfectly reasonable household rules. Shoes off, wash hands, no jumping on sofa.

Yup this. I married into a similar situation OP. I loved the man. I loved the kids. But I was always relegated to second place. I don’t mean trivial things like Valentines dates vs school plays. Or stuff like sex being interrupted by a nightmare or sick kid. No I mean stuff like pp mentioned , I mean that when my aunt who raised me became ill and passed away it was an actual argument if he would go to the funeral and support me or skip it for the first day of school.

Yes his kids are important but this doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like an afterthought.

Looking back I believed I went to fast with my ex because I was late 30s .

This could be a great thing, but take your time and really get to know him and what he expects your role to be.

[b]


Maybe I'm weird but I think the first day of school is more important that your aunt's funeral. I don't have kids but I work with them. I assume you had other family at the funeral?

Pp said this was the aunt who raised her so basically a parent. Spouses go to parent funerals period.

What? This is nuts. All that happens on the first day of school is parents take a picture. It’s NBD. Any grandparent or babysitter can do that. They’ll have the sand teacher, the sand classroom, the same classmates all year. I say that as a mom of two kids. I would absolutely attend a close family members funeral. The first day of school wouldn’t even register as a possible reason to skip it.

Some people are all about being helicopter parents. I see no value to that approach, I prefer to model independence and treating family with respect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to love the kids as well as him to make this work. He would have to respect that you are now their mom. Blended family next door is breaking up because dad overrides his new wife's perfectly reasonable household rules. Shoes off, wash hands, no jumping on sofa.

Yup this. I married into a similar situation OP. I loved the man. I loved the kids. But I was always relegated to second place. I don’t mean trivial things like Valentines dates vs school plays. Or stuff like sex being interrupted by a nightmare or sick kid. No I mean stuff like pp mentioned , I mean that when my aunt who raised me became ill and passed away it was an actual argument if he would go to the funeral and support me or skip it for the first day of school.

Yes his kids are important but this doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like an afterthought.

Looking back I believed I went to fast with my ex because I was late 30s .

This could be a great thing, but take your time and really get to know him and what he expects your role to be.

[b]


Maybe I'm weird but I think the first day of school is more important that your aunt's funeral. I don't have kids but I work with them. I assume you had other family at the funeral?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to love the kids as well as him to make this work. He would have to respect that you are now their mom. Blended family next door is breaking up because dad overrides his new wife's perfectly reasonable household rules. Shoes off, wash hands, no jumping on sofa.

Yup this. I married into a similar situation OP. I loved the man. I loved the kids. But I was always relegated to second place. I don’t mean trivial things like Valentines dates vs school plays. Or stuff like sex being interrupted by a nightmare or sick kid. No I mean stuff like pp mentioned , I mean that when my aunt who raised me became ill and passed away it was an actual argument if he would go to the funeral and support me or skip it for the first day of school.

Yes his kids are important but this doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like an afterthought.

Looking back I believed I went to fast with my ex because I was late 30s .

This could be a great thing, but take your time and really get to know him and what he expects your role to be.

[b]


Maybe I'm weird but I think the first day of school is more important that your aunt's funeral. I don't have kids but I work with them. I assume you had other family at the funeral?

Pp said this was the aunt who raised her so basically a parent. Spouses go to parent funerals period.

Anonymous wrote:I hope this works out given all of the other stuff on this site. But please take it slow because it won't be easy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, opening yourself up --- freeing yourself to see what happens ---- this is always a good thing. You don't need to know the eventual outcome. That's not how life works.

This

Anonymous wrote:OP, opening yourself up --- freeing yourself to see what happens ---- this is always a good thing. You don't need to know the eventual outcome. That's not how life works.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to love the kids as well as him to make this work. He would have to respect that you are now their mom. Blended family next door is breaking up because dad overrides his new wife's perfectly reasonable household rules. Shoes off, wash hands, no jumping on sofa.

Yup this. I married into a similar situation OP. I loved the man. I loved the kids. But I was always relegated to second place. I don’t mean trivial things like Valentines dates vs school plays. Or stuff like sex being interrupted by a nightmare or sick kid. No I mean stuff like pp mentioned , I mean that when my aunt who raised me became ill and passed away it was an actual argument if he would go to the funeral and support me or skip it for the first day of school.

Yes his kids are important but this doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like an afterthought.

Looking back I believed I went to fast with my ex because I was late 30s .

This could be a great thing, but take your time and really get to know him and what he expects your role to be.

[b]


Maybe I'm weird but I think the first day of school is more important that your aunt's funeral. I don't have kids but I work with them. I assume you had other family at the funeral?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to love the kids as well as him to make this work. He would have to respect that you are now their mom. Blended family next door is breaking up because dad overrides his new wife's perfectly reasonable household rules. Shoes off, wash hands, no jumping on sofa.

Yup this. I married into a similar situation OP. I loved the man. I loved the kids. But I was always relegated to second place. I don’t mean trivial things like Valentines dates vs school plays. Or stuff like sex being interrupted by a nightmare or sick kid. No I mean stuff like pp mentioned , I mean that when my aunt who raised me became ill and passed away it was an actual argument if he would go to the funeral and support me or skip it for the first day of school.

Yes his kids are important but this doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like an afterthought.

Looking back I believed I went to fast with my ex because I was late 30s .

This could be a great thing, but take your time and really get to know him and what he expects your role to be.

[b]


Maybe I'm weird but I think the first day of school is more important that your aunt's funeral. I don't have kids but I work with them. I assume you had other family at the funeral?

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure I'd have the courage to date a guy with 3 kids as a good relationship with a single guy is difficult to achieve. Everything in that relationship becomes incredibly difficult which means that more things can go wrong. What OP has going for her is that she has known him for a few years so it's not a sudden infatuation with some good looking guy and then discover he has three kids. And just finding time to be alone together will be a big hurdle.

Anonymous wrote:My grandfather was a widower with 12 kids when he met my grandmother. His youngest was 6 months. She helped raising them and had a happy life.