Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s pretty sad that meeting someone in person is such an anomaly to some of you. I personally am suspicious of guys with luxury cars initially, as I consider the cars bait for easy sex, but it’s not a dealbreaker. I’m 35 with an 8 year old. My mom still gets approached by men in person.

People who don't meet people in real life either look like ass, or give off a major "do not disturb" vibe. I side eye people who can only date online. To me that is an indicator of a personality defect. I like men who approach in real life-- it's the way nature intended. It takes courage to approach a female. Not all of this hiding behind keyboards, catalog shopping for dates.

+1 to everything here.

I have to believe that there is some level of trolling going on here. It's desperate to meet someone in a parking lot? These responses don't even make sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 kids is a lot.

Op here, My youngest is 16. Would the fact that my kids are older change your position?


I don't have young kids and would not consider actively dating if I did.

You are forty yes old with 4 kids and the youngest is 16.... and you let a man pick you up at parking lot because he drives a Benz. Ok.

Well that sounds about right for a teen mom.

How does having a child at 24 make OP a teen mom? The whole world is not DCUM land where everyone must go to grad school and become a partner at a firm before having kids. Many, many people have children in their early 20s. OP says that she has a decent job and that her ex does as well. You're just bitter that OP is enjoying her 40s while you're still changing diapers.

And I say this as a 36yo who is still changing diapers and wistfully wishes I'd gotten started having babies MUCH sooner.

She had her yougest child at 24. She was probably a teen mom the first time she gave birth, since she says she has 4 children. And no, I'm not still changing diapers, and I'm not yet 40.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 kids is a lot.

Op here, My youngest is 16. Would the fact that my kids are older change your position?


I don't have young kids and would not consider actively dating if I did.

You are forty yes old with 4 kids and the youngest is 16.... and you let a man pick you up at parking lot because he drives a Benz. Ok.

Well that sounds about right for a teen mom.

How does having a child at 24 make OP a teen mom? The whole world is not DCUM land where everyone must go to grad school and become a partner at a firm before having kids. Many, many people have children in their early 20s. OP says that she has a decent job and that her ex does as well. You're just bitter that OP is enjoying her 40s while you're still changing diapers.

And I say this as a 36yo who is still changing diapers and wistfully wishes I'd gotten started having babies MUCH sooner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 kids is a lot.

Op here, My youngest is 16. Would the fact that my kids are older change your position?


I don't have young kids and would not consider actively dating if I did.

You are forty yes old with 4 kids and the youngest is 16.... and you let a man pick you up at parking lot because he drives a Benz. Ok.

Well that sounds about right for a teen mom.

Anonymous wrote:Do women ask men how many baby mommas they have? Look how many guys are married 2-3x and don’t even have 50/50 custody. Why aren’t women wondering about poor decision-making, drama, and how much of his money goes to CS?

Weird comment. If they aren't wondering about these things, they should be.

Anonymous wrote:Do women ask men how many baby mommas they have? Look how many guys are married 2-3x and don’t even have 50/50 custody. Why aren’t women wondering about poor decision-making, drama, and how much of his money goes to CS?

Of course they do. Believe me, they do. Women I've dated ask efverything they can about my past relationships going back as far as I'm willing to tell them.

PP is right having more than one Baby momma or baby daddy is a red flag that the person is unstable or has bad judgement in life choices. It says a lot.

Don't be naive. A woman with 4 children from the same father is NOT the same as one with 3 or 4 baby daddies and the associated baggage that comes with those guys all on the picture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some things you need to make a point of mentioning, OP, when you first start talking to a man. Not because they are shameful or bad, but because it affects the other person's decision-making in whether they want to date you. Having four children is one of those things. You have to be upfront. It doesn't mean you give a list of disclosures. It means if you are talking on the phone or texting, you find a way to say something like "Oh sorry, I got distracted, one of my kids was bugging me." That way he can reply, and ask..Oh, you have kids, how many? And you can politely and proudly remark "My ex and I have four beautiful kids" or words to that effect.

+1

I've never known any man who felt the need to disclose such things beforehand. If anything, they hide it. Can't tell you how many men have lied to me about their age, former marriages, kids, etc.

Plus, what if you're someone who doesn't like texting/phone calls before you've gone on a date? I always hated it.

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are picking up men in a parking lot, then I'm presuming something about the way you're presenting yourself is coming off a bit skanky. They probably think you're an easy lay.

I’d actually just got done exercising so unless yoga pants are some how skanky now, no. It’s a parking lot not an alley.

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are picking up men in a parking lot, then I'm presuming something about the way you're presenting yourself is coming off a bit skanky. They probably think you're an easy lay.

Nothing wrong with trying to hookup with a hottie even if they have four kids. Have fun,OP!

OP, if you are picking up men in a parking lot, then I'm presuming something about the way you're presenting yourself is coming off a bit skanky. They probably think you're an easy lay.

Anonymous wrote:Do women ask men how many baby mommas they have? Look how many guys are married 2-3x and don’t even have 50/50 custody. Why aren’t women wondering about poor decision-making, drama, and how much of his money goes to CS?

I do. I don't want several other women and multiple children that aren't mine in my life.

This post confirms my thought that, if DH and I divorced, it would be my last serious relationship.

We have 3 kids together and I can blame anyone for not being interested. I wouldn’t want that baggage either.

Looks like casual companionship and hooks ups for the duration.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do women ask men how many baby mommas they have? Look how many guys are married 2-3x and don’t even have 50/50 custody. Why aren’t women wondering about poor decision-making, drama, and how much of his money goes to CS?

I care very much about this actually. I would never date a guy with multiple kids from different moms.

+1 Because you know those men treated each wife/girlfriend as disposable.