Both my husband and I are DC natives. Went to the top public school in the metro, grew up in top zips, moved back after school, etc.

We bought in FCC and have 2 kids, HHI in the high $600s. Both of us are millennials. Many of our DC native friends with kids are moving away, as are we. As someone else states, we won’t have our McLean and Great Falls parent life here, and we make 6-7x their peak income, its nuts.

We found jobs in smaller markets where the COL is half of DCs, our kids will be in private schools with MUCH better branded college matriculation (because of the Regional admissions caps)...and in our case our HHI will double!

DC isn’t what is once was. It was a great place to raise a family, now that isn’t true. It’s still great in many ways, such as a retirement location for wealthy old farts like our parents. But many of the perks for families have gone in inverse to the COL.

As for the faux outrage at DC being called transient, it was called transient 30 years ago. It was actually built to be only in residence when Congress was in session, so it has ALWAYS been transient. The ‘nth’ generation Washingtonian crap also has always ticked me off, there are some people who claim generation iterations that are older than the city and Georgetown. It’s a poseur move. It’s like the folks at the two MoCo country clubs of note who pretend their inherited membership signifies social status...they cling to this because the Tammy Haddas and other media and political types usurped the social register in DC over 20 years ago...why and how did that happen? BECAUSE DC IS TRANSIENT!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares if it’s “transient”? OP’s close friends all left.

It sucks, but you’ll make new ones. When you have kids there are so many opportunities for engagement, and it really only takes a few cool people to make a difference.

In the meantime, now you have people to visit in others places of the country. If you have to go to philly for Thanksgiving, then do that.

A constant churn in your "community" is shallow and ultimately unfulfilling. It's exactly why many people move away from DC to be back with their close friends and family they left behind. My good friends just moved back to Iowa. I'm lucky to be a native so my community in here. My friends are so happy to be back in Iowa. I can see why.

Anyone that can leaves , leaving behind the lovely ashburn which is steeped in historical culture

Ashburn was actually very pretty a few decades ago. All farms, no subdivisions or strip malls. The sprawl annihilated it. It was sad to see the area gutted. The people living there now have no idea how many trees there used to be.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am from Western NY. Came here after college and never left. It’s been 25 years. I got married, bought a house in a desirable part of Vienna/Oakton area, had kids, stayed home, now teaching. I can’t imagine living anywhere else. We love NoVA/DC. Our kids are in HS, and are looking at local private colleges to attend. My neighbors have been here for 10+ years, and a few are original owners (20-25 years). I suppose if you live in a far out town or county, you may have a different experience.

I’m laughing that someone who lives in Oakton/Vienna is separating herself from people who live in a far out location. Twenty-five years ago Oakton and that side of Vienna were farmland. It’s still west bumf—k but with bad traffic.

You must live in DC and have to beg to borrow wheels anytime you need to venture away from a subway line, pretending you live in Manhattan. Vienna has pretty good schools, nice neighborhoods, Wolf Trap, Tysons Mall, lots of businesses in Tysons and McLean. It’s not bumf—k. It’s not the outer burbs or points beyond.

I’ve lived in DC for 15 years and have only been out your way a handful of times, despite having a car. It’s not exactly, as you say, “bumf-ck” but it is deeeeep suburbia and to me, very unappealing.

Well, you’re not wrong. One can live a fulfilling life without ever seeing Vienna, VA.

Anonymous wrote:Unless you're from a no-opportunity flyover dump, it's pretty natural to try to boomerang back to near where your family is once you start having kids. There's nothing "cool" about your kids never seeing their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Especially so if your salary has plateaued - what's the point of staying?

Because returning to a fly over dump is unappealing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares if it’s “transient”? OP’s close friends all left.

It sucks, but you’ll make new ones. When you have kids there are so many opportunities for engagement, and it really only takes a few cool people to make a difference.

In the meantime, now you have people to visit in others places of the country. If you have to go to philly for Thanksgiving, then do that.

A constant churn in your "community" is shallow and ultimately unfulfilling. It's exactly why many people move away from DC to be back with their close friends and family they left behind. My good friends just moved back to Iowa. I'm lucky to be a native so my community in here. My friends are so happy to be back in Iowa. I can see why.

Anyone that can leaves , leaving behind the lovely ashburn which is steeped in historical culture

Anonymous wrote:Who cares if it’s “transient”? OP’s close friends all left.

It sucks, but you’ll make new ones. When you have kids there are so many opportunities for engagement, and it really only takes a few cool people to make a difference.

In the meantime, now you have people to visit in others places of the country. If you have to go to philly for Thanksgiving, then do that.

A constant churn in your "community" is shallow and ultimately unfulfilling. It's exactly why many people move away from DC to be back with their close friends and family they left behind. My good friends just moved back to Iowa. I'm lucky to be a native so my community in here. My friends are so happy to be back in Iowa. I can see why.

Who cares if it’s “transient”? OP’s close friends all left.

It sucks, but you’ll make new ones. When you have kids there are so many opportunities for engagement, and it really only takes a few cool people to make a difference.

In the meantime, now you have people to visit in others places of the country. If you have to go to philly for Thanksgiving, then do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am from Western NY. Came here after college and never left. It’s been 25 years. I got married, bought a house in a desirable part of Vienna/Oakton area, had kids, stayed home, now teaching. I can’t imagine living anywhere else. We love NoVA/DC. Our kids are in HS, and are looking at local private colleges to attend. My neighbors have been here for 10+ years, and a few are original owners (20-25 years). I suppose if you live in a far out town or county, you may have a different experience.

I’m laughing that someone who lives in Oakton/Vienna is separating herself from people who live in a far out location. Twenty-five years ago Oakton and that side of Vienna were farmland. It’s still west bumf—k but with bad traffic.

You must live in DC and have to beg to borrow wheels anytime you need to venture away from a subway line, pretending you live in Manhattan. Vienna has pretty good schools, nice neighborhoods, Wolf Trap, Tysons Mall, lots of businesses in Tysons and McLean. It’s not bumf—k. It’s not the outer burbs or points beyond.

I’ve lived in DC for 15 years and have only been out your way a handful of times, despite having a car. It’s not exactly, as you say, “bumf-ck” but it is deeeeep suburbia and to me, very unappealing.

I know plenty of people who’ve left DC for suburbs at least as far out as Vienna. I’m laughing at your faux sophistication, which is far less appealing than any location might be.

Anonymous wrote:The "community" for your neighbors (and kids friends parents) is where they are from, not where they are now for a few-10 years.

The real DC community is focused around old DC money - no one new ever breaks into that. Otherwise it's a patchwork of people outside what they feel their real communities are. This is part of the reason ever bar in DC is effectively an out of town sports bar for some team or other.

You are clearly not from here. And I imagine you don’t speak to your neighbors. That’s not DC.

Unless you're from a no-opportunity flyover dump, it's pretty natural to try to boomerang back to near where your family is once you start having kids. There's nothing "cool" about your kids never seeing their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Especially so if your salary has plateaued - what's the point of staying?

The "community" for your neighbors (and kids friends parents) is where they are from, not where they are now for a few-10 years.

The real DC community is focused around old DC money - no one new ever breaks into that. Otherwise it's a patchwork of people outside what they feel their real communities are. This is part of the reason ever bar in DC is effectively an out of town sports bar for some team or other.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have a really great circle of friends in DC - a mix of college friends, former colleagues, and two couples we met in a baby class that we clicked with immediately. Because we don’t have family close by, some of them have become our family. We spend holidays together, have impromptu weekend get together, etc. At this point we all have kids, some close in age, some not.

The problem is that we decided we are lifers in DC and many of the others have moved away over the past year, often as their kids start kindergarten or preschool. And I don’t mean moving from Adam’s Morgan to Bethesda, it’s more like the Philly or NJ suburbs or even further.

It feels like we are losing this community we have worked so hard to build and it’s incredibly sad, especially since our families are so far away. Our oldest started kindergarten this past fall and we were really hoping to make some great new friends and so far no such luck. Our son has made two good friends in particular but neither of the parents have made any effort for us grown ups to be friends.

Curious if anyone else has experienced this and how things have turned out. Were you able to make new close friends or things just are what they are now?

It is because although you felt it was a great community, as is typical of DC, much of the "community" is shallow. Most people have their eye on getting out. Great article about migration and DC out therr on the WAPO. DC has THE HIGHEST migration of people in and out of the city.

You’d have to come from someplace really crappy to think that the nova is where it’s at.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am from Western NY. Came here after college and never left. It’s been 25 years. I got married, bought a house in a desirable part of Vienna/Oakton area, had kids, stayed home, now teaching. I can’t imagine living anywhere else. We love NoVA/DC. Our kids are in HS, and are looking at local private colleges to attend. My neighbors have been here for 10+ years, and a few are original owners (20-25 years). I suppose if you live in a far out town or county, you may have a different experience.

I’m laughing that someone who lives in Oakton/Vienna is separating herself from people who live in a far out location. Twenty-five years ago Oakton and that side of Vienna were farmland. It’s still west bumf—k but with bad traffic.

You must live in DC and have to beg to borrow wheels anytime you need to venture away from a subway line, pretending you live in Manhattan. Vienna has pretty good schools, nice neighborhoods, Wolf Trap, Tysons Mall, lots of businesses in Tysons and McLean. It’s not bumf—k. It’s not the outer burbs or points beyond.

I’ve lived in DC for 15 years and have only been out your way a handful of times, despite having a car. It’s not exactly, as you say, “bumf-ck” but it is deeeeep suburbia and to me, very unappealing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot to like about D.C. But I do miss the friendliness and more laid back life-style of the Chicago area. We lived north of the city on Lake Michigan and it was wonderful with great schools and very nice people. I don't miss the winters but D.C. summers are pretty miserable.

Baseball pick up games. BBQs. Lake house parties. Going to the pub. Door county/the Dells. Festivals.

SIgh.

#WisconsinLife: Beer blasts, keggers, beer fights, beer pontoon boat cruises, cheese curds and beer, drunken snowmobile rides, frozen schnapps, drunken ice fishing, fish fried in beer batter.

Newsflash- all of that happens in DC too. Unless you're just an annoying, racist transplant moaning about 'home' being better. Then, you probably don't get invited to diddily.

I’m sure some of here things happen in DC. But I think it speaks to your lack of ever having lived anywhere else to see how much better other places are at certain things. Especially places like Wisconsin. That said, there are downsides to living in other places as well.

These things truly do not happen in DC.