Anonymous
07/30/2018 20:09
Subject: Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
Anonymous wrote:Why do folks think that your spouse's family will stand by you when your spouse f's up? They won't. They are your spouse's family. They stand up for him/her, not you.
You have your own family.
If you get married in a church wedding, don't the people in attendance agree to support the marriage?
And if you have kids, you are the wedded, official mother of his kids, and yeah, they are supposed to back you up in a wrong vs. right situation. Standing up for family now moves on to the next generation.
Anonymous
07/30/2018 20:06
Subject: Re:Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I felt incredibly betrayed when I found out my husband had been bringing his affair partner out and on "business trips" and was even introduced to a few family members (his side) while they were out drinking.
I don't look at any of them in the same way now knowing they socialized with "her" ... I'm on friendly terms with all but know they know where they get their bread buttered, so I'm only polite. I understand that they have no long term loyalty towards me.
You're in a hard position, but you can't stop anything that's going to happen with Friend A's marriage. What's going to happen is what's going to happen.
Why do you see them at all? Didn't you divorce him?
Maybe it makes more financial sense for the PP to stay married? Then it wouldn't be surprising that her DH was so brazen.
It probably does, but that wasn't my reason for asking. If she is still with him, why should his family have behaved any differently? If she didn't dump him, why should they? He didn't even cheat on them.
Anonymous
07/30/2018 20:04
Subject: Re:Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I felt incredibly betrayed when I found out my husband had been bringing his affair partner out and on "business trips" and was even introduced to a few family members (his side) while they were out drinking.
I don't look at any of them in the same way now knowing they socialized with "her" ... I'm on friendly terms with all but know they know where they get their bread buttered, so I'm only polite. I understand that they have no long term loyalty towards me.
You're in a hard position, but you can't stop anything that's going to happen with Friend A's marriage. What's going to happen is what's going to happen.
Why do you see them at all? Didn't you divorce him?
Maybe it makes more financial sense for the PP to stay married? Then it wouldn't be surprising that her DH was so brazen.
Anonymous
07/30/2018 19:35
Subject: Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
no no no
I don't go for that!
I don't go for that!
Anonymous
07/30/2018 18:32
Subject: Re:Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
Anonymous wrote:I felt incredibly betrayed when I found out my husband had been bringing his affair partner out and on "business trips" and was even introduced to a few family members (his side) while they were out drinking.
I don't look at any of them in the same way now knowing they socialized with "her" ... I'm on friendly terms with all but know they know where they get their bread buttered, so I'm only polite. I understand that they have no long term loyalty towards me.
You're in a hard position, but you can't stop anything that's going to happen with Friend A's marriage. What's going to happen is what's going to happen.
Why do you see them at all? Didn't you divorce him?
Anonymous
07/30/2018 18:25
Subject: Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
Just go and try to have fun. If they are open about the relationship, let friend C, G or Z call them out on it. I’d try to remain as uninvolved as possible. If things get stressful, wine.
Anonymous
07/30/2018 17:00
Subject: Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
Anonymous wrote:Hey Op, how did the trip go?
OP here:
the trip is next week, I fly to Europe on Saturday. Bump this thread again in a couple weeks
Anonymous
07/30/2018 16:33
Subject: Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
yes, we want to know!
Anonymous
07/30/2018 15:25
Subject: Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
Hey Op, how did the trip go?
Anonymous
06/25/2018 10:33
Subject: Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
Why do folks think that your spouse's family will stand by you when your spouse f's up? They won't. They are your spouse's family. They stand up for him/her, not you.
You have your own family.
You have your own family.
Anonymous
06/25/2018 10:05
Subject: Re:Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
Anonymous wrote:I felt incredibly betrayed when I found out my husband had been bringing his affair partner out and on "business trips" and was even introduced to a few family members (his side) while they were out drinking.
I don't look at any of them in the same way now knowing they socialized with "her" ... I'm on friendly terms with all but know they know where they get their bread buttered, so I'm only polite. I understand that they have no long term loyalty towards me.
You're in a hard position, but you can't stop anything that's going to happen with Friend A's marriage. What's going to happen is what's going to happen.
Why are you still with such a creep? Also, why would you talk to those relatives period?
Anonymous
06/24/2018 17:30
Subject: Re:Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
I felt incredibly betrayed when I found out my husband had been bringing his affair partner out and on "business trips" and was even introduced to a few family members (his side) while they were out drinking.
I don't look at any of them in the same way now knowing they socialized with "her" ... I'm on friendly terms with all but know they know where they get their bread buttered, so I'm only polite. I understand that they have no long term loyalty towards me.
You're in a hard position, but you can't stop anything that's going to happen with Friend A's marriage. What's going to happen is what's going to happen.
I don't look at any of them in the same way now knowing they socialized with "her" ... I'm on friendly terms with all but know they know where they get their bread buttered, so I'm only polite. I understand that they have no long term loyalty towards me.
You're in a hard position, but you can't stop anything that's going to happen with Friend A's marriage. What's going to happen is what's going to happen.
Anonymous
06/24/2018 17:09
Subject: Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
Bringing your AP is pretty ballsy. I would assume the husband knows.
Anonymous
06/24/2018 17:03
Subject: Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
Maybe it was just a starter marriage for friend A and now he's working on his real marriage to Newbie B.
Anonymous
06/24/2018 16:39
Subject: Re:Friend is having affair - wants to bring "other person" on a group trip
Anonymous wrote:In situations like this, what is loyalty? Sure, your loyalty should lie with your friend, but her loyalty should lie with her spouse.
I think you should go on the trip but tell the spouse.
NP. Respectfully disagree.
It’s not your place to tell the spouse. You can go to Friend A and be direct about what you just came into knowledge of. Depends on what your expectation from this friendship/marriage/group is.
I wouldn’t volunteer to get in someone else’s dirty laundry.