I never really notice engagement rings anymore. Only when they're obnoxiously big. My child goes to an independent school so I'm with a wide range of people (financial aid to super wealthy) and I mostly see (when I do notice) 1-2 carat rings or just wedding bands. I've only seen a few huge rocks. When you get past a certain age and you're secure with yourself, you don't care.

My sister asked for a $20K fur coat instead and just wears a band.

I have a close friend who has a ton of money and she doesn't even wear a ring. Yes, she is happily married. Means nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I notice and admire but I don't judge. I have noticed that the prettiest American women never have small rings.

This. I’ve never seen a pretty girl with a small ring.

Lol! Seriously? You may want to prioritize getting out of your tiny bubble then. Have you ever traveled...anywhere outside of Bethesda?

Seriously. Apparently to this poster there are NO pretty girls in rural or poor America, or with boyfriends still in grad school, or who simpmt don’t WANT a big honker.

My wedding band is an eternity band with small diamonds all around. Maybe 3 carat total weight. When I got pregnant it got too tight and so I decided to have some fun and ordered a gigantic CZ version of it from Amazon. It’s something like 8 carats (of fake CZ). I’m telling you this thing passes for real and I got lots of wide-eyes stares when it is noticed. It makes me laugh and I may keep wearing it forever even after I can fit back into my real ring. Have fun with this stuff!

I check out rings because, well, I like jewelry. If it is a smaller diamond I presume the woman got married younger.
I find size increases with age couple got married. Simple correlation. My friends who got married right after college have 1/2 carats, friends who got married in 30s tend to go above 1 carat.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t judge the traditional diamonds- lots of people have heirloom rings, different styles etc.

I do judge when people over explain their ‘non traditional’rings. We had a friend that bought his dw a cheap looking jade ring despite making really good money at the time and buying expensive gifts for himself constantly. She was into fashion/designer stuff and would wayyy over explain why he thought it was better- she was clearly bummed. Just found out they’re getting divorced 2 years into marriage

My BIL bought his wife a 3ct ring and proposed in a scenic tourist location in Italy. They’re now getting divorced after 1 kid and 7 years of marriage.

I'll add that my best friend's husband bought her an extremely ornate and showy engagement ring. He buys her designer label stuff all the time and makes a big show of it so everyone knows he bought it for her and that it was expensive. It really shows his insecurity. Now my friend has to walk around daily with the massive ring that blares her husband's insecurity to the world, even though she would have been happy with something smaller. Yuck.

My ring is tiny and cheap. And I love it. I'm not the typical DC urban mom. We are just staring out. But I have no interest in getting a new ring down the line. I only judge other women's rings when they are huge and flashy. I think "what a flamboyant waste."

I admire pretty rings, but I love jewelry. My ring is tiny, less than half a carat. My husband and I got engaged when we were both in graduate school, he had no money and received no advice from his parents regarding buying the ring. Including no advice to check with me before selecting the ring . I am glad he bought only what he could afford, but honestly I would prefer no ring or to have gotten a ring later once he was established in a career and had saved the money. But I wear it because 25 years later I still care about his feelings and would never want to hurt them. He still has not learned how to select nice jewelry, though, so now I buy for myself .

I don't really tend to notice them, and I definitely don't study them. The only ones that stand out to me in a bad way are big bulky over-stoned sets that look like they were just going for big for the sake of big, but are actually quite ugly IMO. It's a weird Real Housewives of NJ look

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I notice and admire but I don't judge. I have noticed that the prettiest American women never have small rings.

This. I’ve never seen a pretty girl with a small ring.

Lol! Seriously? You may want to prioritize getting out of your tiny bubble then. Have you ever traveled...anywhere outside of Bethesda?

I’m early 30s, my husband and I met in our 20s. I’m a public interest lawyer, he’s in private practice. He gave me a large center stone ring with baguettes. It’s classic, beautiful quality, and stunning. I’m also a liberal feminist. It’s ok to like beautiful, sparkly things! So many other things to worry about. More important things to judge than jewelry!

Anonymous wrote:I have a non-traditional ring with colored stones, and I notice other rings with colored stones. Tradtional diamond rings I don't usually notice unless there's something unusual about them, and I definitely don't notice difference the difference in the size of the diamond in traditional rings. To each her own.

I have a sapphire e-ring flanked by tapered diamond baguettes. I never notice other diamonds - large or small (I find they all pretty much look the same to me), but I always notice non-traditional/gemstone rings and think "I bet we could be friends."

I have a non-traditional ring with colored stones, and I notice other rings with colored stones. Tradtional diamond rings I don't usually notice unless there's something unusual about them, and I definitely don't notice difference the difference in the size of the diamond in traditional rings. To each her own.