InAndOut
04/17/2018 14:52
Subject: Re:Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I assume she herself pays for her education, and if so, why is it your concern?
where is that assumption coming from?
If she’s paying the freight, she determines the route. If parents are paying, she follows their direction.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 14:22
Subject: Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
OP, is your daughter pretty and thin? If so, it doesn’t matter. She can still marry well and have a nice UMC lifestyle. Seems to me that ~ 50% or more of elementary school teachers become SAHMs once kids arrive.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 14:20
Subject: Re:Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
Anonymous wrote:Here is something to think about.
Can a neurosurgeon teach 5th grade math? The answer is a resounding yes
Can an education major perform surgery on someone? The answer is absolutely NO
Therefore, study and become a doctor. It that does not work out, you can become a 5th grade teacher. The reverse is not possible.
I have nothing but respect for teachers. Lot of work and underpaid. I think most teachers make less than a high school drop out doing IT work. So unfair.
Boy you sound dumb. Let me take a wild guess: you are not a neurosurgeon
Anonymous
04/17/2018 14:07
Subject: Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
This is why I believe it's best for parents & young adults to go into the college years with clear laid out contracts and expectations.
Parents who foot the bill (or anyone who foots any bill, really) believe that paying equals control. However, the person they are trying to control is a new adult who is usually pretty resistant to this control most of the time.
There's nothing wrong with paying for your kid's college educational at all, but don't suddenly throw a hissy fit two years in when the kid changes their major from Chemistry to Dance when you had no stipulations in place to begin with. I use this example because my coworker's daughter suddenly decided to switch second semester of her Sophomore year (at Duke) and make her minor (Dance) her major instead of Chemistry. The amount of yelling that came out of my coworker's office when she found out was SO alarming that several of us rushed over because we thought for sure she'd just gotten some horrible news over the phone and was freaking out/needed emotional support.
Parents who foot the bill (or anyone who foots any bill, really) believe that paying equals control. However, the person they are trying to control is a new adult who is usually pretty resistant to this control most of the time.
There's nothing wrong with paying for your kid's college educational at all, but don't suddenly throw a hissy fit two years in when the kid changes their major from Chemistry to Dance when you had no stipulations in place to begin with. I use this example because my coworker's daughter suddenly decided to switch second semester of her Sophomore year (at Duke) and make her minor (Dance) her major instead of Chemistry. The amount of yelling that came out of my coworker's office when she found out was SO alarming that several of us rushed over because we thought for sure she'd just gotten some horrible news over the phone and was freaking out/needed emotional support.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 13:56
Subject: Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
There seems to be a pretty direct correlation between parental economic anxiety and the level of control and desire for ROI on college tuition. As parents, aren't we supposed to prepare our children as best we can to become more than what we are? We shield them from things so they can have better lives. Shouldn't that include our own worries and hangups? Some people get to have an avocation instead of just a vocation -- they aren't just working for a paycheck. I know a military pilot who often says he can't believe he gets paid to fly every day when he'd gladly pay for the privilege. There can be great personal satisfaction (and social benefit) to work that is not necessarily highly paid.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 13:06
Subject: Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
Oh stop making OP out to be some evil mother. Jeez! We all want out kids to become successful, especially when we know very well they are smart and capable. I've told my kids I am not paying for college if the profession they choose doesn't pay over 75K. Imagine paying for an Ivy league education for example, only to find out your kid wants to be a teacher. It is indeed a noble profession. But the truth is this country doesn't pay nor give teachers the respect they deserve. Why would anyone want to get into that field if they can do something else!
Anonymous
04/17/2018 13:01
Subject: Re:Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
" Since her Sophmore year is HS DD has been adamant about going to business supply."
I would be much more supportive of what she chooses to do as a sophomore in college than what she chose as a sophomore in HS.
The Choice was not inspired by her college advisor. At the least, she went to the advisor knowing the her old "business supply" plan would never happen.
Her advisor may have dug the teaching idea out of her but that is a very different thing.
Having said all that, you need to warn her that she needs to understand that the most likely thing that will happen with her plan to teach is that in her sophomore year of teaching, she will want to do something else.
This means minoring or double majoring so she has another direction to choose from would be a good idea.
I would be much more supportive of what she chooses to do as a sophomore in college than what she chose as a sophomore in HS.
The Choice was not inspired by her college advisor. At the least, she went to the advisor knowing the her old "business supply" plan would never happen.
Her advisor may have dug the teaching idea out of her but that is a very different thing.
Having said all that, you need to warn her that she needs to understand that the most likely thing that will happen with her plan to teach is that in her sophomore year of teaching, she will want to do something else.
This means minoring or double majoring so she has another direction to choose from would be a good idea.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 12:33
Subject: Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
Anonymous wrote:DD is incredible smart. She graduated Salutatorian of her High School and has made the Deans list for the past 3 semesters and will probably make it her fourth. Since her Sophmore year is HS DD has been adamant about going to business supply. She worked her ass of in HS and has in college as well in order to get into her grad school of choice. She’s currently at a top 10 school and is majoring in business and finance. She is a very strong math/Econ is student as my DH and I was so proud that she wanted to work in a male dominated field. I’ve always encouraged her to work hard so she can become financially independent as a woman in this economy. I pushed STEM/Medical/Busienss/Finances as DH and I both know those at promising career paths. DD has recently decided to switch to an elementary education degree in get a teaching certificate. She wants to teach 5th grade mathematics, which is great but feels like a waste of her intellect and drive. I believe teaching is a difficult and underpaid field, and I don’t want to see her struggle financially and not reach her full potential. I believe her advisor inspired this massive change. I am disappointed she’d make such a change and just worry. No disrespect to teachers, you are priceless but you know the struggle. I know I don’t have much control over her decisions, but I think she’ll really regret wasting her opportunities.
She's smart. Robotic process automation will soon eliminate the human labor in supply chains. Teaching children is a more reliable job for the future.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 12:27
Subject: Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is why parent's shouldn't just pay for college. Let your kid take a loan and make the decisions THEY want to make. You can always set conditions under which you'll be happy to help them pay off the loan.
Let the kid have some skin in the game.
This is what we're doing.
We can easily write a check for DC's college tuition, but we're not. We'll write the big check after graduation to pay off the student loan all at once. MY DH's parents did this for him and his siblings and he feels it made them better students and made them take college more seriously. He still had fun, don't get me wrong, as I met him in college at one of those 'fun' events, but it made him have more personal accountability.
Another stipulation was that classes/credits that earned a C or below were not eligible for payoff. This was to ensure that they still didn't just blow off classes because they knew mommy & daddy were going to eventually foot the bill upon graduation. We're continuing that rule as well, which works because DC's program of study only allows C grades Freshmen & Sophomore year to count towards graduation; Junior & Senior year class grades, which are much more specialized in their major of study, cannot be a C in most.
Great idea
Can 529s be used to pay student loans or no?
Anonymous
04/17/2018 12:03
Subject: Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
Former teacher here. OP are you still on this thread? What would it take for your DD to add a math minor, or to double in business/finance and math?
If she knows she wants to teach (this is unclear still), she should set herself up to study education in graduate school. Compared to elementary ed in undergrad, the courses are more rigorous, her peers will be more accomplished, and the master's will ensure that her starting pay is higher.
Otherwise +1 to PP who suggested Teach For America. Many people do it as a "gap 2 years" before going back to higher-paying career tracks. If teaching is right for her, she'll know it by then and you should let her make her choice.
If she knows she wants to teach (this is unclear still), she should set herself up to study education in graduate school. Compared to elementary ed in undergrad, the courses are more rigorous, her peers will be more accomplished, and the master's will ensure that her starting pay is higher.
Otherwise +1 to PP who suggested Teach For America. Many people do it as a "gap 2 years" before going back to higher-paying career tracks. If teaching is right for her, she'll know it by then and you should let her make her choice.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 11:42
Subject: Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
OP— I completely understand your concerns. I am going through this myself with my daughter. The bottom line is that they must choose for themselves.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 11:14
Subject: Re:Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
Anonymous wrote:I assume she herself pays for her education, and if so, why is it your concern?
where is that assumption coming from?
Anonymous
04/17/2018 11:00
Subject: Re:Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
I assume she herself pays for her education, and if so, why is it your concern?
Anonymous
04/17/2018 10:44
Subject: Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
I have a very similar daughter who majored in math and worked for awhile at a high paying job and then went back to school to get a teaching degree. She loved teaching 5 grade math. Now she is a principal on the west coast and makes a a decent wage, but more importantly she is improving education. Be proud of your daughter for wanting to do something that matters.
Anonymous
04/17/2018 10:27
Subject: Angry at college sophomore for changing to lower paying major
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is why parent's shouldn't just pay for college. Let your kid take a loan and make the decisions THEY want to make. You can always set conditions under which you'll be happy to help them pay off the loan.
Let the kid have some skin in the game.
This is what we're doing.
We can easily write a check for DC's college tuition, but we're not. We'll write the big check after graduation to pay off the student loan all at once. MY DH's parents did this for him and his siblings and he feels it made them better students and made them take college more seriously. He still had fun, don't get me wrong, as I met him in college at one of those 'fun' events, but it made him have more personal accountability.
Another stipulation was that classes/credits that earned a C or below were not eligible for payoff. This was to ensure that they still didn't just blow off classes because they knew mommy & daddy were going to eventually foot the bill upon graduation. We're continuing that rule as well, which works because DC's program of study only allows C grades Freshmen & Sophomore year to count towards graduation; Junior & Senior year class grades, which are much more specialized in their major of study, cannot be a C in most.
Great idea