Anonymous
Post 03/30/2018 21:12     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
I'm convinced that ALL husbands cheat if they have the opportunity, especially those that travel for work. Most women don't cheat unless they're looking to trade up.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2018 20:17     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Man, golf guy— your story is something. After reading all of your updates, I have to say that it sounds like you lost an amazing wife. It’s great that you still have a good relationship with her!


I have a feeling "golf guy" IS the ex-wife. Men don't talk about doing an "I'll get over this" dance.


So, I'm not the only one who doesn't believe that story?


The idea that she went from giving him expensive golf clubs to being confused for 10 minutes to cheerfully agreeing to split within a few hours seems strange too.

Even the hyperbole about being worse than Hitler seems odd, especially from a guy who was that ready to leave.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2018 19:44     Subject: Re:For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Mine had a change in music as well during affair. When someone goes from KennyG type stuff to Eminem you notice
Went with the dressing different, dying hair, lots of overtime yet less money, coffee replacing tea and other small changes.


I wrote the long post above. I forgot to mention that in addition to the 12 pound weight loss, and change in musical tastes, my dear spouse also upgraded their style of dress.


Me again. Yes, I also assumed it was a mid-life crisis. My dear spouse even said as much, and I encouraged and praised all of these positive changes. DS was many months into this all-consuming affair before I discovered different.


These are all telltale signs that either spouse can look for. I noticed a lot of changes from my wife, things like music, massive weight loss and withdrawal of affection. Changes in dress, attitude and demeanor happened rather quickly and threw up the red flags.



+1. Same here - dramatic changes including hairstyle etc. but she changed ‘teams’ as well.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2018 18:56     Subject: Re:For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
This makes me wonder if my husband or AP's wife will eventually figure it out. I've lost a bit of weight (though weight loss began before the EA became physical), have some new music, and am less irritable/ more social. AP started lifting weights and is sleeping better.

I wonder if that raises red flags.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2018 13:34     Subject: Re:For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Mine had a change in music as well during affair. When someone goes from KennyG type stuff to Eminem you notice
Went with the dressing different, dying hair, lots of overtime yet less money, coffee replacing tea and other small changes.


I wrote the long post above. I forgot to mention that in addition to the 12 pound weight loss, and change in musical tastes, my dear spouse also upgraded their style of dress.


Me again. Yes, I also assumed it was a mid-life crisis. My dear spouse even said as much, and I encouraged and praised all of these positive changes. DS was many months into this all-consuming affair before I discovered different.


These are all telltale signs that either spouse can look for. I noticed a lot of changes from my wife, things like music, massive weight loss and withdrawal of affection. Changes in dress, attitude and demeanor happened rather quickly and threw up the red flags.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2018 13:29     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Wife got into my phone. Managed to print stuff out too, not sure how.

No exposing anything away on that one. She knew for a little while before she finally confronted me, not sure why she waited.

I felt terrible - and I’m honestly sorry. I’ll never do anything like that again. Ever. I felt like the worst person plus the pain I put her through. I cannot imagine.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2018 13:00     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:My dear spouse has started therapy, but does not want me to attend with them.


Uh, what? It's pretty common for people to be in therapy on their own. I have residual conflict avoidant issues that I've had for a looooooooong time that pre-dates DW. I've been thinking about seeing a therapist to deal with them. This doesn't involve DW, it's a larger issue.

Similarly, people see therapists to deal with depression, anxiety, PPD, etc. Shit happens in life as we get older that may or may not be related to our spouse.
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2018 09:47     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Man, golf guy— your story is something. After reading all of your updates, I have to say that it sounds like you lost an amazing wife. It’s great that you still have a good relationship with her!


I have a feeling "golf guy" IS the ex-wife. Men don't talk about doing an "I'll get over this" dance.


So, I'm not the only one who doesn't believe that story?
Anonymous
Post 03/30/2018 00:01     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:Man, golf guy— your story is something. After reading all of your updates, I have to say that it sounds like you lost an amazing wife. It’s great that you still have a good relationship with her!


I have a feeling "golf guy" IS the ex-wife. Men don't talk about doing an "I'll get over this" dance.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2018 12:15     Subject: Re:For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Amused that everyone is focused on golf guy's daughter finding out two decades or so later that he had an affair. So what? I'd be a different story if she'd walked in on him like the lady above - so images you can't get out of your head. But a distant memory of a affair? It's fine. Look at our current POTUS and our third-to-last one. Both kids lived through it as it happened, that's when you have to worry.


As a daughter, unfortunately I can tell you that you're wrong. Finding out details like this would permanently change my opinion of my dad/the kind of person he is...not make me stop loving him or anything, but I would never see him in the same way. And I'm in my 30s


This would be for most especially if the family broke up.

No one wants to find out their parent sucks as a person.


My dad cheated on my mom when I was growing up. By this point in life I can understand that a good person can make a bad decision. People aren't one-dimensional cartoon characters.


And bad people can do a good thing once in a while...
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2018 12:00     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
My dear spouse has started therapy, but does not want me to attend with them.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 12:19     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I knew something was up when my husband picked up a few new tricks in bed. Nothing crazy, but different than what he'd been doing for years. At the time I thought he was getting inspired from porn, but no.

One of the things he picked was -- sadly -- going down me. He hadn't done that in about 3-4 years. I had stopped asking him to because he didn't seem to like it and it wasn't sexy to have to pressure him to do it. Then he goes out of town for a couple weeks for work and comes back and all of a sudden he couldn't get enough.

I was happy at first, but a bit later realized what had happened.


And then.... go on!


One night I finally SNAPPED . . . his weasely neck between my legs.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 12:16     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:I knew something was up when my husband picked up a few new tricks in bed. Nothing crazy, but different than what he'd been doing for years. At the time I thought he was getting inspired from porn, but no.

One of the things he picked was -- sadly -- going down me. He hadn't done that in about 3-4 years. I had stopped asking him to because he didn't seem to like it and it wasn't sexy to have to pressure him to do it. Then he goes out of town for a couple weeks for work and comes back and all of a sudden he couldn't get enough.

I was happy at first, but a bit later realized what had happened.


And then.... go on!
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 06:55     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
I knew something was up when my husband picked up a few new tricks in bed. Nothing crazy, but different than what he'd been doing for years. At the time I thought he was getting inspired from porn, but no.

One of the things he picked was -- sadly -- going down me. He hadn't done that in about 3-4 years. I had stopped asking him to because he didn't seem to like it and it wasn't sexy to have to pressure him to do it. Then he goes out of town for a couple weeks for work and comes back and all of a sudden he couldn't get enough.

I was happy at first, but a bit later realized what had happened.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 05:27     Subject: For Cheaters Who Were Caught Red Handed.
Anonymous wrote:Cheated on but caught them red handed.

Came home around 10pm when I was supposed to be back the next afternoon. Saw a strange vehicle parked in front of our house. Walked around back, looked through the window and saw her in another man's lap kissing and dry humping him.[/quote

WHY do people cheat in their own homes?? That's a very bright line I won't cross.

And before you tell me about all the other lines I shouldn't cross ... Get back to me after your spouse hasn't touched you in 5 years.