Anonymous
02/21/2018 05:17
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
Anonymous wrote:Most men cheat. I'd guess 80% at least. Maybe most people cheat but since I only sleep with men, I can't speak to what women do.
I'm a 40 year old single female and for the last decade I have had way more opportunities to sleep with married men than unmarried men.
Monogamy for males is not biologically normal, it's a judeo-christian construct.
All the women who think their partner would never cheat blah blah are simply naive. Men cheat all the time and most women will never know about it.
I don't know how people can say this without stopping to consider that monogamy for people is not biologically normal, not just males. Reading here has shown me that monogamy for women is more difficult. Women get bored with their partners quicker, more turns them off. Novelty turns everybody on, but women especially need it. The sexual gatekeeper in most relationships is the woman ... (not all, stop wetting yourself) ... when men want/need sex they are actually ... (in general!) ... quite happy and satisfied to get regular sex from their partner. Women, on the other hand, can have a willing and able partner and are only aroused by a new lover.
Socially, we are totally programmed to think that women don't want sex, that monogamy is what women want and that men suffer it. But men actually do better with monogamy provided they are getting regular sex.
Also, saying 80% of men cheat is ridiculous. Way too high.
Anonymous
02/21/2018 04:53
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
I find this interesting. I would never cheat on DH. However, no one has anyone ever expressed any interest in cheating with me or starting an affair with me. Is it really that common?
Anonymous
02/21/2018 04:31
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
Aw, man, I could never cheat. My DH is such an amazing father.
Anonymous
02/21/2018 04:28
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
No, the 40yo single is not a cheap, easy slut. I'm a married never cheated 43yo woman and I too have had plenty of opportunities to cheat, often with other married men. I go back and forth, actually. Can't imagine hurting my spouse but also tough to imagine sacrificing another dozen years.
Anonymous
02/21/2018 04:05
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
Anonymous wrote:This website has normalized affairs to me. I used to think it was rare, but now it seems common.
Trolls have that agenda. Beware.
Anonymous
02/21/2018 03:59
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
I really hope the cheats get caught. Truly despicable nonsense from despicable people.
Anonymous
02/20/2018 17:45
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For many cheaters, it’s not really about sex. The number of people you see, especially on here, who don’t really like their spouses is astonishing. But then they have kids, a mortgage, whatever. So one day they come across someone they actually like - the person they should have held out for if only they had known. So they make stupid decisions, or in some cases it is the least bad option on the table. I have seen people with kids and batsh*t crazy spouses with whom the person doesn’t want to leave their kids alone with, which would happen if they divorce, because it’s really hard to get sole custody, especially for men.
Life just isn’t that absolute, and people make do the best they can. And for some of you who cannot see shades of gray in life also don’t see that maybe that rigidity you have is what your spouse wasn’t able to deal with.
The bottom line is, I'd rather have an affair than punish my kids for my husband's giving up on work, sex, self-care, therapy, ADHD meds, and social interactions.
What divorce would do to my kids:
--lose their house
--lose their neighborhood and possibly school
--at least 3 days/week with the parent who forgets to buy groceries, sleeps past school wake-up, refuses to clean the house
--at least 3 days/week without the parent who listens to their problems, guides them to stay on track with chores and homework, and makes sure they get nutritious food
--living in two crappy apartments
--finally find out the depths to which their dad has sunk, when I'm no longer trying to smooth it over and participate in his BS story that he's a consultant
What my affair does to my spouse:
--while he's got his face in his computer ignoring the rest of us, I am in a hotel for a few hours instead of at tennis, where I used to be
--the person with whom he stopped having sex is no longer pleading him to find a way toward intimacy again
--the person with whom he stopped having sex is no longer cranky every single day about my sexless life
--the person with whom he stopped having sex, whom he unilaterally forced to be a breadwinner, who has been gently covering for him so he doesn't feel quite as ashamed when with friends no longer resents him so much she can barely stand to be in a room with him
--he is at risk, if he wakes up and does anything about his life after years of being supported, loved, asked to please re-commit to therapy
--probably mean that when the kids are out of the house, his stay in the Wife Hotel will come to an end
--hurt him if he finds out
At the end of the day, I can punish my kids for my spouse's unilateral, intractable, long-standing abandonment of his responsibilities (no way); accede to my spouse's unilateral decision that I be denied sex and intimacy for the rest of his life (no way); or discretely find the love and intimacy I actually deserve, as the one person who makes sure my entire family has the life they would have had if my husband wasn't such a selfish person, if he didn't think that he needed to man up and be an adult.
So I chose option C and I don't honestly care whether some people think it would be better to destroy my kids' lives or sacrifice my own for the truly bad actor in this family.
You get an A+ at rationalization pp
Actually, it's brilliant. Puts the RATIONAL in rationalize, if you ask me.
So which would you do-- ruin your kids' lives or go the redt of your own life without sex?
False dichotomy
No, it isn't.
Spouse won't have sex. Kids want two parents and a home and their school district.
Choose.
Kids not getting what they want isn't ruining their lives.
It is a complete false dichotomy. You are the breadwinner PP right? DH is unemployed? And you would be seeking custody. Why on earth would you need to downsize? You're paying for everything already. DH would just have to work to pay for a place. You're already living where you're living on your salary.
But even if that wasn't true it is still not the end of the world. Yes this will be difficult on your kids, but your relationship is broken and this is the cost of a broken relationship. If you cheat and they find out that will eff them up way worse than a relatively low drama divorce now.
And even if you did think that your kids being in this school district or whatever was literally the most important thing in their lives you could always choose option c. Stick it out with DH until they graduate high school then divorce and have a lot of sex which is hardly, 'no sex for the rest of your life.'
Literally everything you write is draped in unnecessary hyperbole and drama. Methinks the cheater doth protest too much.
Anonymous
02/20/2018 10:58
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Plus, you say crap like "monogamy for males isn't biologically normal" and suddenly you're OH SO COOL.
I do think I'm cool for believing in biology and science instead of the Bible.
But seriously, it's not like I walk around with my thoughts about monogamy plastered on my forehead and that's why married men want to sleep with me.
No, they want to sleep with you because you present yourself as a cheap, easy slut. A piece of meat.
It’s who you are. Embrace it.
Hello. Tone it down. No need to project your personal problems on somebody else. PP didn't say she sleeps with married men, and even she does, MYOB.
Anonymous
02/20/2018 10:56
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most men cheat. I'd guess 80% at least. Maybe most people cheat but since I only sleep with men, I can't speak to what women do.
I'm a 40 year old single female and for the last decade I have had way more opportunities to sleep with married men than unmarried men.
Monogamy for males is not biologically normal, it's a judeo-christian construct.
All the women who think their partner would never cheat blah blah are simply naive. Men cheat all the time and most women will never know about it.
I don't fins this surprising in the least. Single men don't want to be pressured for a relationship. There's no danger of that with a married guy. Plus, you say crap like "monogamy for males isn't biologically normal" and suddenly you're OH SO COOL.
She must have had a sample of a good size to derive 80%
hahha. or it's some poseur man rationalizing his naughty decisions.
Anonymous
02/20/2018 10:48
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Plus, you say crap like "monogamy for males isn't biologically normal" and suddenly you're OH SO COOL.
I do think I'm cool for believing in biology and science instead of the Bible.
But seriously, it's not like I walk around with my thoughts about monogamy plastered on my forehead and that's why married men want to sleep with me.
No, they want to sleep with you because you present yourself as a cheap, easy slut. A piece of meat.
It’s who you are. Embrace it.
Anonymous
02/20/2018 10:40
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
Anonymous wrote:
Plus, you say crap like "monogamy for males isn't biologically normal" and suddenly you're OH SO COOL.
I do think I'm cool for believing in biology and science instead of the Bible.
But seriously, it's not like I walk around with my thoughts about monogamy plastered on my forehead and that's why married men want to sleep with me.
Anonymous
02/20/2018 08:01
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most men cheat. I'd guess 80% at least. Maybe most people cheat but since I only sleep with men, I can't speak to what women do.
I'm a 40 year old single female and for the last decade I have had way more opportunities to sleep with married men than unmarried men.
Monogamy for males is not biologically normal, it's a judeo-christian construct.
All the women who think their partner would never cheat blah blah are simply naive. Men cheat all the time and most women will never know about it.
I don't fins this surprising in the least. Single men don't want to be pressured for a relationship. There's no danger of that with a married guy. Plus, you say crap like "monogamy for males isn't biologically normal" and suddenly you're OH SO COOL.
She must have had a sample of a good size to derive 80%
Anonymous
02/20/2018 07:58
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
The saddest part is that when cheaters get around children, especially their own (when, say a cheater wife is rewarded for her infidelities with custody of marital children AND child support) and they try to teach morals and ethics to them. It’s angers me to think this happens.
Anonymous
02/20/2018 07:45
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
Anonymous wrote:Most men cheat. I'd guess 80% at least. Maybe most people cheat but since I only sleep with men, I can't speak to what women do.
I'm a 40 year old single female and for the last decade I have had way more opportunities to sleep with married men than unmarried men.
Monogamy for males is not biologically normal, it's a judeo-christian construct.
All the women who think their partner would never cheat blah blah are simply naive. Men cheat all the time and most women will never know about it.
I don't fins this surprising in the least. Single men don't want to be pressured for a relationship. There's no danger of that with a married guy. Plus, you say crap like "monogamy for males isn't biologically normal" and suddenly you're OH SO COOL.
Anonymous
02/20/2018 07:38
Subject: The amount of affairs on here
Anonymous wrote:Men have needs that society's norms are not set up to meet.
Are American men so oversexed or do they just have lots of spare time on their hands?