Anonymous
02/02/2018 10:53
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We used to have a great sex life. We had a sleep position where I was on my stomach, she was on her back, my left arm was around her and we held each other’s right hands over our heads. It was so comforting. But my health started to fail me. When DS was born, we hoped that my parental leave would cure me, but it didn’t. Our sex life ended. Our son is ten and still cosleeps. He slept in his own room for a while but then moved back into ours. It works great for us. One big happy family. I used to be extremely social and organize balls and galas. I used to speak at conventions. I haven’t in many years because my health isn’t what it used to be. I’ve lost much of what used to make me attractive to DW. That bothered me a lot for a while. But at this point, I’m not sure that I want to go back to the way it was. I’m used to the way it is now. It would feel weird to start acting like we did 20 years ago.
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.
Cosleeping beyond the age of 2 or 3 simply is not developmentally appropriate. I find it hard to believe a 10yo boy even wants to sleep with mom and dad. Not to mention, he's probably 5' tall now and it's like having another adult in the bed.
https://www.professorshouse.com/when-are-kids-too-old-to-sleep-with-mom-and-dad/
You are teaching your son that an effectively sexless marriage is proper and normal. Take pity on his future wife and put him back in his own room. Then take charge of your own situation; become attractive to your DW again and restart your moribund sex life.
LOL It is a good point, but truth be told most marriages end up effectively sexless after a period of time. Like it, hate it, it is what it is.
Pp at again. That is a good point. Most of the couples that I know who have been together as long as we have have little if any sex. My wife signed us both up for Tinder. I know that sounds weird but she wants the old me back again, when I was a man about town here and in NYC. My wife and I usually have a good relationship in raising our son, with an occasional hiccup. I’m just not that motivated to get our old sex life back. For one thing, we were very athletic while making love. I think I’d have a heart attack or break something if we tried that now.
Anonymous
02/02/2018 10:18
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We used to have a great sex life. We had a sleep position where I was on my stomach, she was on her back, my left arm was around her and we held each other’s right hands over our heads. It was so comforting. But my health started to fail me. When DS was born, we hoped that my parental leave would cure me, but it didn’t. Our sex life ended. Our son is ten and still cosleeps. He slept in his own room for a while but then moved back into ours. It works great for us. One big happy family. I used to be extremely social and organize balls and galas. I used to speak at conventions. I haven’t in many years because my health isn’t what it used to be. I’ve lost much of what used to make me attractive to DW. That bothered me a lot for a while. But at this point, I’m not sure that I want to go back to the way it was. I’m used to the way it is now. It would feel weird to start acting like we did 20 years ago.
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.
Cosleeping beyond the age of 2 or 3 simply is not developmentally appropriate. I find it hard to believe a 10yo boy even wants to sleep with mom and dad. Not to mention, he's probably 5' tall now and it's like having another adult in the bed.
https://www.professorshouse.com/when-are-kids-too-old-to-sleep-with-mom-and-dad/
You are teaching your son that an effectively sexless marriage is proper and normal. Take pity on his future wife and put him back in his own room. Then take charge of your own situation; become attractive to your DW again and restart your moribund sex life.
LOL It is a good point, but truth be told most marriages end up effectively sexless after a period of time. Like it, hate it, it is what it is.
Anonymous
02/02/2018 10:16
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:My kid is 4 and still mostly co-sleeps. We have sex other places in the house.
That's depressing.
Anonymous
02/02/2018 10:15
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Keep telling yourself that while your kids cry or cried for you and you slept through it.
Kids often cry when they're dropped off at day care or school. Does that mean you'll roll over and say "OK, you don't have to go to school then"?
You will if you can. The problem is most people can't, so it's a moot point.
Anonymous
02/02/2018 10:13
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For as young as I can remember, I slept in my own bed and my own room. My older sister had her own room.
I wouldn't want memories of breastfeeding, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with my parents.
I never heard of co-sleeping.
Not sure what’s your point. What does this have to do with OP’s post?
I never heard of co-sleeping. It sounds like lazy parenting. You don't want to teach your kids to fall asleep by themselves without fear? That's lazy.
That is why some parents ween their children off of sleeping with a night light, or sleeping with a stuffed animal. Or sleeping with the bedroom door open.
These are milestones for children to learn how to sleep on their own without fear.
Keep telling yourself that while your kids cry or cried for you and you slept through it.
This does not, at all, make one a bad parent. It makes them a perfectly good parent. Nice attempt at making someone feel bad but you’re simply way off base.
DP. I don't know exactly what you mean by a "bad" parent. It definitely means there's something off with a human being. Mammals co-sleep with their young. If you don't have a shred of this instinct, there's definitely something wrong with you. You may or may not feel bad about it, it's beside the point.
Anonymous
02/02/2018 09:38
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For as young as I can remember, I slept in my own bed and my own room. My older sister had her own room.
I wouldn't want memories of breastfeeding, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with my parents.
I never heard of co-sleeping.
Not sure what’s your point. What does this have to do with OP’s post?
I never heard of co-sleeping. It sounds like lazy parenting. You don't want to teach your kids to fall asleep by themselves without fear? That's lazy.
That is why some parents ween their children off of sleeping with a night light, or sleeping with a stuffed animal. Or sleeping with the bedroom door open.
These are milestones for children to learn how to sleep on their own without fear.
Keep telling yourself that while your kids cry or cried for you and you slept through it.
This does not, at all, make one a bad parent. It makes them a perfectly good parent. Nice attempt at making someone feel bad but you’re simply way off base.
Really? If it weren’t that usually the intentions are good (stupid, but usually good) this would be child abuse to me.
Anonymous
02/02/2018 09:28
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For as young as I can remember, I slept in my own bed and my own room. My older sister had her own room.
I wouldn't want memories of breastfeeding, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with my parents.
I never heard of co-sleeping.
Not sure what’s your point. What does this have to do with OP’s post?
I never heard of co-sleeping. It sounds like lazy parenting. You don't want to teach your kids to fall asleep by themselves without fear? That's lazy.
That is why some parents ween their children off of sleeping with a night light, or sleeping with a stuffed animal. Or sleeping with the bedroom door open.
These are milestones for children to learn how to sleep on their own without fear.
Keep telling yourself that while your kids cry or cried for you and you slept through it.
This does not, at all, make one a bad parent. It makes them a perfectly good parent. Nice attempt at making someone feel bad but you’re simply way off base.
Anonymous
02/02/2018 09:12
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:We used to have a great sex life. We had a sleep position where I was on my stomach, she was on her back, my left arm was around her and we held each other’s right hands over our heads. It was so comforting. But my health started to fail me. When DS was born, we hoped that my parental leave would cure me, but it didn’t. Our sex life ended. Our son is ten and still cosleeps. He slept in his own room for a while but then moved back into ours. It works great for us. One big happy family. I used to be extremely social and organize balls and galas. I used to speak at conventions. I haven’t in many years because my health isn’t what it used to be. I’ve lost much of what used to make me attractive to DW. That bothered me a lot for a while. But at this point, I’m not sure that I want to go back to the way it was. I’m used to the way it is now. It would feel weird to start acting like we did 20 years ago.
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.
Cosleeping beyond the age of 2 or 3 simply is not developmentally appropriate. I find it hard to believe a 10yo boy even wants to sleep with mom and dad. Not to mention, he's probably 5' tall now and it's like having another adult in the bed.
https://www.professorshouse.com/when-are-kids-too-old-to-sleep-with-mom-and-dad/
You are teaching your son that an effectively sexless marriage is proper and normal. Take pity on his future wife and put him back in his own room. Then take charge of your own situation; become attractive to your DW again and restart your moribund sex life.
Anonymous
02/02/2018 09:03
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:Keep telling yourself that while your kids cry or cried for you and you slept through it.
Kids often cry when they're dropped off at day care or school. Does that mean you'll roll over and say "OK, you don't have to go to school then"?
Anonymous
02/02/2018 07:55
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Yes I saw my “not-lazy” sister in law putting her 4 months old to sleep alone and letting him cry for 1 hour because she did not want him in her bed. The poor kid cried like crazy every night and at every nap for months.
They still have much less sex than us “lazy co-sleepers”.
They still have much less sex than us “lazy co-sleepers”.
Anonymous
02/02/2018 07:49
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For as young as I can remember, I slept in my own bed and my own room. My older sister had her own room.
I wouldn't want memories of breastfeeding, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with my parents.
I never heard of co-sleeping.
Not sure what’s your point. What does this have to do with OP’s post?
I never heard of co-sleeping. It sounds like lazy parenting. You don't want to teach your kids to fall asleep by themselves without fear? That's lazy.
That is why some parents ween their children off of sleeping with a night light, or sleeping with a stuffed animal. Or sleeping with the bedroom door open.
These are milestones for children to learn how to sleep on their own without fear.
I agree. Lazy and spineless.
And cruel
Anonymous
02/02/2018 07:36
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For as young as I can remember, I slept in my own bed and my own room. My older sister had her own room.
I wouldn't want memories of breastfeeding, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with my parents.
I never heard of co-sleeping.
Not sure what’s your point. What does this have to do with OP’s post?
I never heard of co-sleeping. It sounds like lazy parenting. You don't want to teach your kids to fall asleep by themselves without fear? That's lazy.
That is why some parents ween their children off of sleeping with a night light, or sleeping with a stuffed animal. Or sleeping with the bedroom door open.
These are milestones for children to learn how to sleep on their own without fear.
Keep telling yourself that while your kids cry or cried for you and you slept through it.
Anonymous
02/02/2018 07:17
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For as young as I can remember, I slept in my own bed and my own room. My older sister had her own room.
I wouldn't want memories of breastfeeding, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with my parents.
I never heard of co-sleeping.
Not sure what’s your point. What does this have to do with OP’s post?
I never heard of co-sleeping. It sounds like lazy parenting. You don't want to teach your kids to fall asleep by themselves without fear? That's lazy.
That is why some parents ween their children off of sleeping with a night light, or sleeping with a stuffed animal. Or sleeping with the bedroom door open.
These are milestones for children to learn how to sleep on their own without fear.
Many cultures around the world do it. Get out of your bubble. Kids learn it on their own speed. My first learned at 10 months and we never co slept. I doubt you ever dealt with a child with night terrors or waking up screaming multiple times a night. You do what you need to do as a parent to make your child feel safe and secure. It is not lazy. Stop judging. I am sure my 3-year-old won’t do this that much longer. It is fine. My brother did not sleep through the night until age 4. All kids are different.
It is not normal or healthy for your child to wake with "night terrors."
Get the child a stuffed animal, a cute night light, leave the bedroom door open. Have a bedtime ritual. Teeth brushing. Pajamas. Say your prayers. Read a bedtime story. Then, lights out. Not that difficult. It would take one week of this consistent night time routine for a child to fall asleep. Not only that but your child may not be getting enough physical playtime running around during the day, so the child is sleepy and wants to go to a deep peaceful sleep.
Anonymous
02/02/2018 06:43
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:For as young as I can remember, I slept in my own bed and my own room. My older sister had her own room.
I wouldn't want memories of breastfeeding, wearing a diaper, or sleeping with my parents.
I never heard of co-sleeping.
Not sure what’s your point. What does this have to do with OP’s post?
I never heard of co-sleeping. It sounds like lazy parenting. You don't want to teach your kids to fall asleep by themselves without fear? That's lazy.
That is why some parents ween their children off of sleeping with a night light, or sleeping with a stuffed animal. Or sleeping with the bedroom door open.
These are milestones for children to learn how to sleep on their own without fear.
You need to get out more. Sticking your infant in another room by herself is a purely American invention that puzzles mothers around the world.
Anonymous
02/02/2018 06:13
Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:My kid is 4 and still mostly co-sleeps. We have sex other places in the house.
Son is 18 months. Co sleep as well. Your DH has issues or cheating