Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is pretty inconsequential.

It's only inconsequential if your only measure is income. DH makes in the low seven figures, and I have a career that will probably top out in the low $100Ks. But, I think it's important for the kids to see their mom put her graduate degree to good use and to contribute to the HHI. IMHO, if you have the funds and the educational pedigree, then you have even less of an excuse to drop out of the economy. You can pick jobs that don't pay well and aren't terribly demanding of your time but are really meaningful to society, and you can afford nannies and babysitters should there be a scheduling conflict. Most of DH's male colleagues (who presumably make similar amounts of money) have a spouse who also works professionally. We are in our early 40s, and I don't see anyone at his firm with a SAH spouse in our generation.

I guess we run in different circles. We hardly know anyone without a SAH spouse above a certain income. For DH and his coworkers, it's pretty much assumed someone is at home picking up the slack and running the household. The only moms I know who work feel like they have to to maintain a certain lifestyle. Or they are teachers at our local school/preschool with the same exact hours as their kids. Making $50k. No thanks.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is pretty inconsequential.

It's only inconsequential if your only measure is income. DH makes in the low seven figures, and I have a career that will probably top out in the low $100Ks. But, I think it's important for the kids to see their mom put her graduate degree to good use and to contribute to the HHI. IMHO, if you have the funds and the educational pedigree, then you have even less of an excuse to drop out of the economy. You can pick jobs that don't pay well and aren't terribly demanding of your time but are really meaningful to society, and you can afford nannies and babysitters should there be a scheduling conflict. Most of DH's male colleagues (who presumably make similar amounts of money) have a spouse who also works professionally. We are in our early 40s, and I don't see anyone at his firm with a SAH spouse in our generation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is pretty inconsequential.

It's only inconsequential if your only measure is income. DH makes in the low seven figures, and I have a career that will probably top out in the low $100Ks. But, I think it's important for the kids to see their mom put her graduate degree to good use and to contribute to the HHI. IMHO, if you have the funds and the educational pedigree, then you have even less of an excuse to drop out of the economy. You can pick jobs that don't pay well and aren't terribly demanding of your time but are really meaningful to society, and you can afford nannies and babysitters should there be a scheduling conflict. Most of DH's male colleagues (who presumably make similar amounts of money) have a spouse who also works professionally. We are in our early 40s, and I don't see anyone at his firm with a SAH spouse in our generation.

I guess we run in different circles. We hardly know anyone without a SAH spouse above a certain income. For DH and his coworkers, it's pretty much assumed someone is at home picking up the slack and running the household. The only moms I know who work feel like they have to to maintain a certain lifestyle. Or they are teachers at our local school/preschool with the same exact hours as their kids. Making $50k. No thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is pretty inconsequential.

It's only inconsequential if your only measure is income. DH makes in the low seven figures, and I have a career that will probably top out in the low $100Ks. But, I think it's important for the kids to see their mom put her graduate degree to good use and to contribute to the HHI. IMHO, if you have the funds and the educational pedigree, then you have even less of an excuse to drop out of the economy. You can pick jobs that don't pay well and aren't terribly demanding of your time but are really meaningful to society, and you can afford nannies and babysitters should there be a scheduling conflict. Most of DH's male colleagues (who presumably make similar amounts of money) have a spouse who also works professionally. We are in our early 40s, and I don't see anyone at his firm with a SAH spouse in our generation.

IME jobs that are meaningful to society can still be tedious and dull for the person in question to do (I used to work at a nonprofit in an administrative capacity. I believed in the cause but it was a LOT of dull as dirt paperwork).

For me personally, I don't like having a boss or restraints on my time. I don't like having to be somewhere at someone else's beck and call. So I don't. I choose not to work because I don't have to.

FWIW I do volunteer but even that sucks to be honest. I'd rather not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is pretty inconsequential.

It's only inconsequential if your only measure is income. DH makes in the low seven figures, and I have a career that will probably top out in the low $100Ks. But, I think it's important for the kids to see their mom put her graduate degree to good use and to contribute to the HHI. IMHO, if you have the funds and the educational pedigree, then you have even less of an excuse to drop out of the economy. You can pick jobs that don't pay well and aren't terribly demanding of your time but are really meaningful to society, and you can afford nannies and babysitters should there be a scheduling conflict. Most of DH's male colleagues (who presumably make similar amounts of money) have a spouse who also works professionally. We are in our early 40s, and I don't see anyone at his firm with a SAH spouse in our generation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is pretty inconsequential.

It's only inconsequential if your only measure is income. DH makes in the low seven figures, and I have a career that will probably top out in the low $100Ks. But, I think it's important for the kids to see their mom put her graduate degree to good use and to contribute to the HHI. IMHO, if you have the funds and the educational pedigree, then you have even less of an excuse to drop out of the economy. You can pick jobs that don't pay well and aren't terribly demanding of your time but are really meaningful to society, and you can afford nannies and babysitters should there be a scheduling conflict. Most of DH's male colleagues (who presumably make similar amounts of money) have a spouse who also works professionally. We are in our early 40s, and I don't see anyone at his firm with a SAH spouse in our generation.

I guess we run in different circles. We hardly know anyone without a SAH spouse above a certain income. For DH and his coworkers, it's pretty much assumed someone is at home picking up the slack and running the household. The only moms I know who work feel like they have to to maintain a certain lifestyle. Or they are teachers at our local school/preschool with the same exact hours as their kids. Making $50k. No thanks.

Gee. Did it ever perhaps occur to you that maybe they want to work?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly feel like with any more than three you are really short changing the kids. No parent could gI’ve adequate attention when they have that many kids.

1 of 4 children here. I can assure you, you are very wrong! Please don't make offensive blanket statements about subjects you aren't qualified to comment on.

If anything, in my opinion parents who have only children are shortchanging THEIR children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well for us the reason is money and we make a pretty good living comparatively (HHI ~ 600k). We have three kids and we feel pretty confident that we can give them a nice life including all the extras like travel, private lessons, and sleep away camp. And college savings. That's the kicker. Our FA has us saving 1250 per month PER KID.

I guess people who have 4-6 kids and live like the OP make in the seven figures.

So the only rationale for having more kids is that you can afford them? There has to be a more compelling reason. Poor families pop out multiple kids and can't afford them and they end up welfare....what's their rationale?

In August, Science published a landmark study concluding that poverty, itself, hurts our ability to make decisions about school, finances, and life, imposing a mental burden similar to losing 13 IQ points.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is pretty inconsequential.

It's only inconsequential if your only measure is income. DH makes in the low seven figures, and I have a career that will probably top out in the low $100Ks. But, I think it's important for the kids to see their mom put her graduate degree to good use and to contribute to the HHI. IMHO, if you have the funds and the educational pedigree, then you have even less of an excuse to drop out of the economy. You can pick jobs that don't pay well and aren't terribly demanding of your time but are really meaningful to society, and you can afford nannies and babysitters should there be a scheduling conflict. Most of DH's male colleagues (who presumably make similar amounts of money) have a spouse who also works professionally. We are in our early 40s, and I don't see anyone at his firm with a SAH spouse in our generation.

I guess we run in different circles. We hardly know anyone without a SAH spouse above a certain income. For DH and his coworkers, it's pretty much assumed someone is at home picking up the slack and running the household. The only moms I know who work feel like they have to to maintain a certain lifestyle. Or they are teachers at our local school/preschool with the same exact hours as their kids. Making $50k. No thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is pretty inconsequential.

It's only inconsequential if your only measure is income. DH makes in the low seven figures, and I have a career that will probably top out in the low $100Ks. But, I think it's important for the kids to see their mom put her graduate degree to good use and to contribute to the HHI. IMHO, if you have the funds and the educational pedigree, then you have even less of an excuse to drop out of the economy. You can pick jobs that don't pay well and aren't terribly demanding of your time but are really meaningful to society, and you can afford nannies and babysitters should there be a scheduling conflict. Most of DH's male colleagues (who presumably make similar amounts of money) have a spouse who also works professionally. We are in our early 40s, and I don't see anyone at his firm with a SAH spouse in our generation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is pretty inconsequential.

It's only inconsequential if your only measure is income. DH makes in the low seven figures, and I have a career that will probably top out in the low $100Ks. But, I think it's important for the kids to see their mom put her graduate degree to good use and to contribute to the HHI. IMHO, if you have the funds and the educational pedigree, then you have even less of an excuse to drop out of the economy. You can pick jobs that don't pay well and aren't terribly demanding of your time but are really meaningful to society, and you can afford nannies and babysitters should there be a scheduling conflict. Most of DH's male colleagues (who presumably make similar amounts of money) have a spouse who also works professionally. We are in our early 40s, and I don't see anyone at his firm with a SAH spouse in our generation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is pretty inconsequential.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is pretty inconsequential.

It's only inconsequential if your only measure is income. DH makes in the low seven figures, and I have a career that will probably top out in the low $100Ks. But, I think it's important for the kids to see their mom put her graduate degree to good use and to contribute to the HHI. IMHO, if you have the funds and the educational pedigree, then you have even less of an excuse to drop out of the economy. You can pick jobs that don't pay well and aren't terribly demanding of your time but are really meaningful to society, and you can afford nannies and babysitters should there be a scheduling conflict. Most of DH's male colleagues (who presumably make similar amounts of money) have a spouse who also works professionally. We are in our early 40s, and I don't see anyone at his firm with a SAH spouse in our generation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have 4, you don't have to go back to work ever

This is such a dumb argument. Wealthy SAHM's don't have to go back to work regardless of the number of kids they have. I stopped at 2. Still not going back to work. I know many who are the same. When 1 spouse makes $400k+, a second spouse making mid to upper five figures is pretty inconsequential.