Anonymous wrote:So you dodged a bullet.

If I were in your shoes, I would reach out to a few close friends to ask them if they suspected he was gay. Then I would ask myself why I missed the red flags.

+1 but also, if the friends suspected, OP needs better friends. Years ago, before my dh and I started dating, we went to a wedding of some mutual friends. Everyone in our social circle thought the woman was insane to marry Larlo. I didn't know the woman or Larlo well, but my dh did, and he took her aside and told her he thought it was a mistake and why. His timing was bad (just before the wedding)--he should have done it sooner, but at least he did it.

She has often commented about that discussion. I think she considers him a true friend, a forever friend, because only he had the guts to do it.