One of my all time favorite girl friends was very large and may well have weighed as much as me. But she was incredibly smart, had a great sense of humor, was very pretty, was very self confident and was very adventurous in bed. She relocated at a time when a LTR just wasn't in the cards but we sure had fun. While my friends were initially surprised that I was dating someone my own weight once they got to know her they were crazy about her. Ultimately I married a normal size woman and I've been very happy for a long time but I still have great memories of my old GF. If my wife's weight got up to mine I seriously doubt that she would ever have the self confidence that she had.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a size 12/14 and hooked up with a totally buff ex Marine half my age this weekend Size is not the determining factor for all men.

Good for you.
But your weekend experience does not change the well establisged fact that size really is the determining factor for almost every man.
Exceptional sex can (sometimes) compensate.
You must be quite the sex animal!!

Maybe but how did he guess/know that before we slept together? He had only my looks to go by.

Guys can tell who is easy to lay

As a woman I would have to agree. Sleeping around without a commitment isn't anything to brag about. Anyone can do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a size 12/14 and hooked up with a totally buff ex Marine half my age this weekend Size is not the determining factor for all men.

Good for you.
But your weekend experience does not change the well establisged fact that size really is the determining factor for almost every man.
Exceptional sex can (sometimes) compensate.
You must be quite the sex animal!!

Maybe but how did he guess/know that before we slept together? He had only my looks to go by.

Guys can tell who is easy to lay

Go on, keep insulting me. My size has never been a deterrent in having relationships, short or long , with men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a size 12/14 and hooked up with a totally buff ex Marine half my age this weekend Size is not the determining factor for all men.

Good for you.
But your weekend experience does not change the well establisged fact that size really is the determining factor for almost every man.
Exceptional sex can (sometimes) compensate.
You must be quite the sex animal!!

Maybe but how did he guess/know that before we slept together? He had only my looks to go by.

Guys can tell who is easy to lay

12

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a size 12/14 and hooked up with a totally buff ex Marine half my age this weekend Size is not the determining factor for all men.

Hooked up?

Well, you aren't that big and perhaps hooking up has a different determining factor....like he was horny and you were available?

It could just be that I was available, or he could just be attracted to a fit woman (marathoner) and not worried about what size I am.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a size 12/14 and hooked up with a totally buff ex Marine half my age this weekend Size is not the determining factor for all men.

Good for you.
But your weekend experience does not change the well establisged fact that size really is the determining factor for almost every man.
Exceptional sex can (sometimes) compensate.
You must be quite the sex animal!!

Maybe but how did he guess/know that before we slept together? He had only my looks to go by.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm female and for me:

Size 8- never get hit on, DH has zero interest in sex

Size 4-6: occasionally hit on, DH moderate interest in sex

Size 2- hit on constantly, DH can't keep his hands off me.

I think you have to look at people's actions rather than what they say they want. There's a reason celebrities have low body fat, wear a lot of makeup, have certain hairstyles/clothing, and use photoshop- it's what the majority of people are attracted to.

And it goes both ways- a lot of women I know say they like dad bod, but 50 Shades and Magic Mike probably wouldn't have had as much success if the men in them had flabby stomachs and flat butts.

You might just not carry extra weight well. I've been anywhere from a 10 to an 18 and I get hit on constantly at each size, but it's always distributed in an hourglass -- just bigger or smaller. I imagine it's harder for people with no hips or an apple shape (or very short women) to carry weight in a way that looks sexy even if it's bigger.

+2

I'm a size eight and would prefer to be a six, or even a four. That said, I am being actively pursued by three very eligible bachelors: an older guy (late forties) who's a handsome retired naval officer with a corporate career; late thirties tech entrepreneur who's a former Olympian; and a good-looking mid-thirties tenure-track professor. These are men in high demand, and yet I - at a size eight! - have captured their attention. First PP must just not carry weight well.

I'm a size 12, or even 14, and I get hit on constantly. Mid 40s too. The difference is that I am very toned and athletic. Plus I like men, and sex. That goes a long way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be careful what you ask for, men.

I'm 42 and in great shape/low body weight/fit and frankly my husbands 20 lb weight gain since marriage is starting to get to me.

Man here. Why should I be careful? I 100% agree with you. This is really just basic stuff people. Don't get fat, it is NOT attractive!!!
I suspect this is even MORE true for those of us who have remained fit ourselves, clearly fitness is important to us, so we are quite likely to be unattracted to our overweight spouses.

Install MyFitnessPal on his phone to start tracking his actual caloric intake (and I guarantee it's more than he thinks).
Purchase a "smart scale" so he can easily/quickly track his weight, just step on at about the same time each day.
Target a 500 calorie per day deficit. This will take him 20 weeks to lose the weight.
The goal is to lose weight gradually, but equally important is to make the basic lifestyle changes to maintain an attractive weight.

The problem is that he lacks motivation, not know how.

Anonymous wrote:I am a size 12/14 and hooked up with a totally buff ex Marine half my age this weekend Size is not the determining factor for all men.

Hooked up?

Well, you aren't that big and perhaps hooking up has a different determining factor....like he was horny and you were available?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm female and for me:

Size 8- never get hit on, DH has zero interest in sex

Size 4-6: occasionally hit on, DH moderate interest in sex

Size 2- hit on constantly, DH can't keep his hands off me.

I think you have to look at people's actions rather than what they say they want. There's a reason celebrities have low body fat, wear a lot of makeup, have certain hairstyles/clothing, and use photoshop- it's what the majority of people are attracted to.

And it goes both ways- a lot of women I know say they like dad bod, but 50 Shades and Magic Mike probably wouldn't have had as much success if the men in them had flabby stomachs and flat butts.

You might just not carry extra weight well. I've been anywhere from a 10 to an 18 and I get hit on constantly at each size, but it's always distributed in an hourglass -- just bigger or smaller. I imagine it's harder for people with no hips or an apple shape (or very short women) to carry weight in a way that looks sexy even if it's bigger.

+2

I'm a size eight and would prefer to be a six, or even a four. That said, I am being actively pursued by three very eligible bachelors: an older guy (late forties) who's a handsome retired naval officer with a corporate career; late thirties tech entrepreneur who's a former Olympian; and a good-looking mid-thirties tenure-track professor. These are men in high demand, and yet I - at a size eight! - have captured their attention. First PP must just not carry weight well.

+3

I'm a size 8 and I lost about 20 pounds last year due to a medical issue, taking me down from 145 to 125 pounds. (I'm 5'5) I have to say, it was almost immediate the lack of attention I got. It took me back to when I was skinnier, and I always was worrying about what guys thought. Now I feel like I have to beat them away with sticks! I had thought the difference was just mental maturity but I realized a lot of it was how I was really being treated. Guys are just a lot more into me at 140-145. People can say what they want, but I know what I've observed and seen with my two eyes

Kind of relevant- look at Taylor Swift- she's gained about 20 pounds in the past year, and all I've heard is people saying how much better she looks. I think she's a hell of a lot sexier now than she was before, and the consensus agrees with me. So it's a total myth that all women look better at a smaller size- ludicrous. (Btw, I regained my weight and the attention came back almost immediately)

My exDW was a size 12-14 and was 5'10" and fit, yet you wouldn't notice it if you saw her. I prefer the tomboy look and don't I am 6'3" and 225lbs and prefer taller in general.

Anonymous wrote:I am a size 12/14 and hooked up with a totally buff ex Marine half my age this weekend Size is not the determining factor for all men.

Good for you.
But your weekend experience does not change the well establisged fact that size really is the determining factor for almost every man.
Exceptional sex can (sometimes) compensate.
You must be quite the sex animal!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm female and for me:

Size 8- never get hit on, DH has zero interest in sex

Size 4-6: occasionally hit on, DH moderate interest in sex

Size 2- hit on constantly, DH can't keep his hands off me.

I think you have to look at people's actions rather than what they say they want. There's a reason celebrities have low body fat, wear a lot of makeup, have certain hairstyles/clothing, and use photoshop- it's what the majority of people are attracted to.

And it goes both ways- a lot of women I know say they like dad bod, but 50 Shades and Magic Mike probably wouldn't have had as much success if the men in them had flabby stomachs and flat butts.

You might just not carry extra weight well. I've been anywhere from a 10 to an 18 and I get hit on constantly at each size, but it's always distributed in an hourglass -- just bigger or smaller. I imagine it's harder for people with no hips or an apple shape (or very short women) to carry weight in a way that looks sexy even if it's bigger.

+2

I'm a size eight and would prefer to be a six, or even a four. That said, I am being actively pursued by three very eligible bachelors: an older guy (late forties) who's a handsome retired naval officer with a corporate career; late thirties tech entrepreneur who's a former Olympian; and a good-looking mid-thirties tenure-track professor. These are men in high demand, and yet I - at a size eight! - have captured their attention. First PP must just not carry weight well.

Anonymous wrote:Be careful what you ask for, men.

I'm 42 and in great shape/low body weight/fit and frankly my husbands 20 lb weight gain since marriage is starting to get to me.

Man here. Why should I be careful? I 100% agree with you. This is really just basic stuff people. Don't get fat, it is NOT attractive!!!
I suspect this is even MORE true for those of us who have remained fit ourselves, clearly fitness is important to us, so we are quite likely to be unattracted to our overweight spouses.

Install MyFitnessPal on his phone to start tracking his actual caloric intake (and I guarantee it's more than he thinks).
Purchase a "smart scale" so he can easily/quickly track his weight, just step on at about the same time each day.
Target a 500 calorie per day deficit. This will take him 20 weeks to lose the weight.
The goal is to lose weight gradually, but equally important is to make the basic lifestyle changes to maintain an attractive weight.