I have a PhD and I would feel weird if coworkers or people I know called me Doctor. Sometimes when I'm giving a professional talk I'm introduced as Doctor X but that's about it. This person who wants to be called Dr needs to get a grip.

Anonymous wrote:whatever makes them feel good about themselves.

we all know the truth. we all know they didn't do 48 hour shifts at a teaching hospital, or pass organic chemistry, or make it through a med school app process or match day. we also know they don't make decisions under uncertainly every day, nor life/death decisions, nor have weighty decisions to make while taking 4 years to maybe publish something in a niche journal.

and they can thank us any day for paying taxes to support the grant money for their 6+ years of grad school toils.

Hard science degrees like a PhD in Chemistry, physics and the like took plenty of difficult courses that are not rote memorization. When my wife was getting her PhD, her labour was entirely exploited by her Prof at his company (or labs for other science grad students) as is fairly typical. M-F were 12-14 hour days, sunday was 12-7, for a 19K a year stipend back in the early 2000's for 4-5 years. Sure no weighty life or death decisions though, though she certainly lived at the lab/company quite often.

Haha reminds me of my FIL who called himself Rev. senior pastor, president, CEO and founder of ABC, pastor James Smith PHD. You can't make this stuff up ? Mind you he hasn't he is still in school for PHD.

DH is a professor in a social science field. For undergrads, he and his colleagues go by Dr. X. For grad students and other adults, it's always on a first-name basis.

He used to lobby for higher ed, and there was always a first-name basis there too. Didn't matter if he was meeting with university presidents or other experts, very rarely, if ever, did anyone insist on being called Dr. Y.

My husband has a PhD from MIT. He works with a lot of people and his signature does say PhD so many people will refer to him as Dr. YYYY. He's appreciative of it, but never takes offense if people do not call him Dr. YYYY. If you know you're stuff and are already well respected, I don't think this would be an issue.

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I'm a lawyer involved in litigation and am trying to get documents from her. I'm not saying a PhD is worthless by any stretch.

If that's the case, I don't think it is as bad as you do. First of all, that suggests you are not someone who works with her closely or regularly. Second, clients often feel annoyed or harassed by having to give over documents for discovery etc. so her response was probably reflecting that annoyance.

+1

We regularly work with experts who have PhDs, and they are always addressed, at least initially and until invited to use a first name, as Dr. So-and-So. Anyone with whom we do not have a personal relationship and have not been invited to call by a first name is Mr./Ms./Dr. So-and-So, particularly when asking them to turn materials over for discovery. No one likes discovery, and one of the first things we teach the associates is that these people have other job responsibilities with which your request is interfering - be polite, be clear about what you need so you don't have to go back and ask again, and have a contact within the organization who can walk down the hall and talk someone down (or has the authority to sit on them), if needed

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I'm a lawyer involved in litigation and am trying to get documents from her. I'm not saying a PhD is worthless by any stretch.

If that's the case, I don't think it is as bad as you do. First of all, that suggests you are not someone who works with her closely or regularly. Second, clients often feel annoyed or harassed by having to give over documents for discovery etc. so her response was probably reflecting that annoyance.

This. If you were demanding something from me, or puffing your chest with authority, and asked me something using Mr. Larlo or just Larlo, I would most definitely correct them to Dr. Larlo.


It reminds me of a few years ago, I was on a teleconference, and we were disagreeing about something -- and a person on the on the line said, well I talked to so-and-so, a PhD, and she disagrees with you. I was about to blow up, when my PM says (we all work for the same company), I understand that Dr. So-and-So thinks that, but Dr. Larlo here disagrees. Here him out. FWIW, I was right.

OP here. I'm a lawyer involved in litigation and am trying to get documents from her. I'm not saying a PhD is worthless by any stretch.

If that's the case, I don't think it is as bad as you do. First of all, that suggests you are not someone who works with her closely or regularly. Second, clients often feel annoyed or harassed by having to give over documents for discovery etc. so her response was probably reflecting that annoyance.

My husband is an engineer with a masters, but no PhD. At work, if people have doctorates in engineering, and are his superiors or people he is not that close with, he'll call them "Dr. Smith." If they are people he works with a lot, or is friendly with, he'll call them by their first name.

Nope. I like to be called Mrs. Soandso. Calling the patient's parent "Mommy" is a way of setting up a hierarchy between doctor and patient by infantilizing the parent. Someone who has just been addressed as "Mommy" is probably less likely to ask the Dr. critical questions about child's care, ask for a second opinion, or even refuse a treatment. It's a way of eliciting compliance by creating a power dynamic.

Anonymous wrote:Well i had a pediatrician call me Mommy a while ago so since i have a phd i told that doctor that she should call me Dr soandso and not Mommy, since i am a doctor and i am not her mommy.

That is Dr. Mommy to you. A good pediatrician focuses communications with the child. The child knows you as Mommy. So, if talking to you in the presence of your child, expect to be called Larla's Mommy something like that.

When I coached softball, I learned all of the kids first names quickly. I did not always know the parents name, and would later see them around town. I would address them, as Larla's Mom/Dad

Anonymous wrote:I sent an email to a coworker and addressed her as "Larla." She wrote me a reply to my email (addressed me by my first name) and told me to address her as "Dr. Smith."

Is this crazy or normal? I don't know what her degree is in, but we work in an engineering field. I'm asking for future reference. I do work with a lot of people with doctorates and advanced degrees, but haven't ever had anyone rebuke me before when I called them by their first name. No one else goes solely by their last name at work.

Inferiority complex 101.

Anonymous wrote:Or just "Doc".

That's what I do. "Hey, doc." "What's up, doc?"

Anonymous wrote:I am confused by MDs protesting here. If I understand correctly, many MD, called doctors of medicine, do not hold an actual PhDs. Hence doctor is an honorary, historically accepted term that has no bearing on them actually being PhD in their field. Some might be, but most are not. My own sister is a surgeon, and yes she spent a lot of time specializing her field, but she still wishes she had a PhD in her field, which she does not.

I believe it's mostly an American and UK (and former colonies) custom to call MDs "doctor". In UK, though, I think surgeons do not like having the title "doctor", and they prefer "Mr"/"Ms".

I think it's mostly an American thing to insist that people with PhDs do not deserve to be called "doctor". Probably part of our historic anti-intellectualism or something. I don't care much, but the anti-PhD ranting in this thread is bizarre and needlessly offensive. I guess one thing I did learn in my STEM PhD that sets me apart from some of those posters is the difference between an anecdote and data.

Anonymous wrote:Well i had a pediatrician call me Mommy a while ago so since i have a phd i told that doctor that she should call me Dr soandso and not Mommy, since i am a doctor and i am not her mommy.

))))