Anonymous wrote:I'm not the modest type AT ALL, and so my MIL was there for the birth of her grandchild. In all honesty, a freight train loaded with med students could have came through the room and I probably wouldn't have noticed or cared. I had a terrible labor and I really focused on my husband and great nurse.

At one point, I was naked with my ass in the air trying to get the kid moving. I pooped when I was pushing. The way I see it, everyone has an anus and vagina. Mine is no different than my MIL, so if she wanted to be there to possibly catch a look, more power to her.

Nothing abnormal about childbirth. Think of women in Africa. All the women in the village come to attend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are all these people who had partitions?? I gave birth naked from the waist down. Even over my belly I could see my vagina. It was very embarrassing, especially since the door kept opening and people were walking in. As soon as I gave birth they ripped my entire dress off and I was 100% naked. People told me that I wouldn't care that I was naked, but I felt extremely exposed. I hated being naked like that. I really wanted a blanket over me.

I hear you. I kept a light sundress and bra on the whole time. They asked if I wanted to remove them and I said no. Didn't take them off until all was over and I could get cleaned up and changed into a hospital gown. I don't recall people walking in and out but I was pretty out of it by that point.

Also had a similar experience to a prior poster where there was no indication of a problem, but baby had breathing issues and was whisked away as soon as he was born.

For OP, I would say you don't owe it to your MIL -- or anyone -- to be present during birth. However, you mentioned that for previous kids you asked her to wait 24 to 48 hours before coming to the hospital. How about a compromise. She isn't there for the birth, but she can come as soon as you are cleaned up and in a recovery room and have eaten something (if you are hungry). So she will be among the first to see the baby, just won't see the baby the moment it emerges.

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws were in the room at the beginning of my second labor. I was being induced and they chatted with my husband, which distracted him from my obviously growing pain. Aside from the pain, I started to feel lots of pressure like I'd have to pass gas, but could hardly get a word in edgewise to ask my husband to get them out of there so I could be in pain in peace and/or fart if I needed to. Once my husband did realize that I was hurting badly, he sent them out, but then MIL kept sticking her head in the door asking how things were going. It was beyond irritating and I wanted to kick the shit out of all of them. OP, only you know how you feel about having MIL there and you get to decide. It doesn't matter that she doesn't ask for much, it still doesn't give her the right to intrude on your birth experience. Would it be ok if she asked for your car or your house because "she doesn't ask for much"?

Anonymous wrote:Your MIL wants greater access to her grandkids and to have a "status" that is more on par with your mom. You should take her concerns to heart (if you have a good relationship) and work to improve things.

HOWEVER, it sounds like your MIL is really grasping here and wants you to put her in the delivery room as a way of "proving" to all the players involved (including herself) that she's as important as your mom or "worthy" or whatever. That's not okay.

Your mom will be focused on your health during the process, your MIL will likely be monofocused on the baby. That would drive me nuts.

Anonymous wrote:Who are all these people who had partitions?? I gave birth naked from the waist down. Even over my belly I could see my vagina. It was very embarrassing, especially since the door kept opening and people were walking in. As soon as I gave birth they ripped my entire dress off and I was 100% naked. People told me that I wouldn't care that I was naked, but I felt extremely exposed. I hated being naked like that. I really wanted a blanket over me.

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read the entire thread, but honestly, as a medical professional the MIL should know better.

That she asked to be in the delivery room and is pressuring OP, despite her obvious discomfort just shows how selfish she is. MIL has completely lost sight of anyone's needs but her own wants. As a mother of boys, I would be ashamed of myself if I ever behaved like this when they have children.

Something else to think about OP: If you get pressured into letting her be in the delivery room and you end up being more stressed and uncomfortable because of her presence, it's very likely that your relationship with your MIL will suffer for a long time. Pregnancy hormones are powerful and it will be very difficult not to be resentful of her moving forward.

Anonymous wrote:Ask your MIL if her own MIL was in the delivery room when DH was born.

Expect to hear lots of variations of "it was a different time..." and excuses, excuses, etc...which should tell you everything you need to know.