When I grew up my father told me from a young age that school was my job. Yes my parents paid for care, gas, insurance and spending money. It was an older car and the spending money was not unlimited by any means. I had at least as much money as someone working 15 hours a week as pocket money.

I have a 17 year old and do the same thing with her. She get everything paid for and I give maybe $50 a week for incidentals.

She is a now a junior and will qualify for National Merit Scholar. She will be applying for some top schools that are very eager to get students with her great grades (perfect 4.0) and perfect SAT score (1600). I'm fairly confident that she would not have been able to do this if she was required to work a part-time job. During last summer she spent almost 20 hours a week during the summer (when not traveling) on studying for the PSAT/SAT. This was her job and she really hammered at it.

Every kid is different and I do not for a minute that everyone should do what I do. But the $5k that she might have earned is far less than the scholarships that she will earn for college.

My DD has a very successful babysitting business. She earn her own money and she likes not having to ask us for everything. She hardly feels defeated. Most successful people had some sort of job in high school. My upper class friend has stopped her kids from working all their teen years because she spoils them and they are just lazy and will always mooch off of her and her DH.

To teach them to the value of a dollar. That way they don't ask for stupid $1000 jeans that are ugly and all their rich friends have.

We're not money hungry, so we'd prefer our kid volunteering and making a difference in the community. We'd rather let some working class kid who might actually need the cash have that job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather have a kid who can grind out 10hr study sessions than a kid who's mediocre and can't compete when they get college. Acting like high-level academics isn't work is ignorant and short sighted.

Why do you act as if it's one or the other? So many have said here that their kids who have jobs are also great students. What kid in this super competitive DC area doesn't have to work hard to do well in school and get into a good college? High level academics is one kind of work, for sure, but it's not real life work that teaches life skills and responsibility, unless you're planning to be a professional student.

Though, tbh, my straight A student who takes all honors/AP courses has never ground out a 10 hour study session. Probably not even 5. I don't know how, because I was a studier, but he brings in high marks without a whole lot of studying. The thing is, some kids excel without putting in the amount of time others require. Therefore he has a lot of extra time for fun, which is how he views his part time job most of the time.

Because 99% of the time it is - there are only so many hours in the day. My kid is already too busy, so I don't know where your kids are slacking that they have 10-20 hours to spare a week. Too many people in this thread are middle class bootstrap types. So obvious.

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather have a kid who can grind out 10hr study sessions than a kid who's mediocre and can't compete when they get college. Acting like high-level academics isn't work is ignorant and short sighted.

Why do you act as if it's one or the other? So many have said here that their kids who have jobs are also great students. What kid in this super competitive DC area doesn't have to work hard to do well in school and get into a good college? High level academics is one kind of work, for sure, but it's not real life work that teaches life skills and responsibility, unless you're planning to be a professional student.

Though, tbh, my straight A student who takes all honors/AP courses has never ground out a 10 hour study session. Probably not even 5. I don't know how, because I was a studier, but he brings in high marks without a whole lot of studying. The thing is, some kids excel without putting in the amount of time others require. Therefore he has a lot of extra time for fun, which is how he views his part time job most of the time.

I'd rather have a kid who can grind out 10hr study sessions than a kid who's mediocre and can't compete when they get college. Acting like high-level academics isn't work is ignorant and short sighted.

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my first year of law school, one of my classmates had an absolute meltdown because her mother gently suggested that she get a summer job after her 1L year. She had never had a job and didn't see why she SHOULD get a job because she was in school.

Rich families are absolutely astonishing sometimes. The behavior of the rich and folks on welfare are so similar.

So true. You don't have to be wealthy to be entitled.

Anonymous wrote:Do parents really pay for car, gas, insurance, clothes, weekend dates, outings with friends, etc...?

I can't imagine a 16-18yr old wanting Mommy to pay for everything. How embarrassing. Do girlfriend and boyfriends get each other gifts with parents money. What about Christmas? Do you ask your Mom for money to get her a gift? lol. Lame.

Agree. Work ethic and financial common sense are not taught in high school. Both are needed a lot more than English Lit and Calc.

I would never hire some college grad, even if they had straight A's if they coasted thru high school and college jobless on their parents dime. You would be amazed how many BA resumes I see with ZERO job experience. Sure, they try to put their fake resume-friendly volunteer work or their one 100hr internship. No thanks. I would take someone with an okay GPA but worked the last 5yrs at McDonalds. Straight A's does not = great employee. It usually = entitled lazy brat who will be bitching for a raise in 3 months and quitting in 6 months.

I was raised middle class and started babysitting at 12, got a real job at 16 and still babysat. I worked after school on Fridays and one 8 hour shift either Saturday or Sunday. Even then the $28k tuition at my college was A LOT of money and my parents had told me early on that I would I need to cover my books and other expenses while in college.

I took every AP except one offered at my school, was valedictorian, went to an Ivy, was student body president among many other leadership roles, played in the orchestra, volunteered at a nursing home weekly, lectured at our church, etc.

I also worked all through college and law school, save for the first semester of 1L when you can't (couldn't? I have no idea if it's still the case) have a job. And that one semester made me very unhappy as I had to watch my savings deplete to pay for my tuition/living expenses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last night at a get together my neighbor's daughter is a new hostess at a popular local restaurant and said the cooks were slapping her ass with wet towels, busboys smoke dope in the parking lot, and the 20-something waiter creeps are all trying to sleep with her. She's 17.

Yes, make your kids work shit jobs. It really teaches them about "life"!

So exaggerated. Just like helicopter moms and coddled kids are.

The hostess doesn't hang out in the kitchen.
The hostess doesn't hang out in the parking lot
The hostess can go tell the 20 something waiters "no chance"

Any continues problems? Take initiative and talk to a manager instead of coming home crying to Mommy so Mommy can then complain to her Mommy friends. Get some balls instead of being submissive whiny ladies. It gets 10x worse in college and then 20x worse in the corporate world.

It's not exaggerated. Do you even know? Have you ever worked in the service industry? Because all of these things happen. And as for being whiny, you don't get to dictate how people respond to being assaulted. People are often afraid: afraid of losing their job, afraid of being called a trouble-maker, tattletale, and worse. That's why sexual harassment persists. And, yeah, no, I don't need my teen in that environment. So screw you.

Cry my a river lady. You are so upset over your 17yr old's friend. Please. So glad you all this spent time complaining while the 17yr old did nothing for herself at the restaurant. Scared to lose her hostess job, LOL. Showing great promise.

You're a real peach aren't you? I don't see why you're panties are in a twist over my being groped by older men while working in the service industry b/c that was MY experience I was putting forth. And, given my financial situation as a teen and my family's (read: we were poor), yes, I needed the job. Not everyone grew up with money. So fuck you.

Anonymous wrote:Do parents really pay for car, gas, insurance, clothes, weekend dates, outings with friends, etc...?

I can't imagine a 16-18yr old wanting Mommy to pay for everything. How embarrassing. Do girlfriend and boyfriends get each other gifts with parents money. What about Christmas? Do you ask your Mom for money to get her a gift? lol. Lame.

My parents paid for the car and the insurance (at long as I kept my grades up to qualify for the good student discount). They bought basic clothes. But I paid for gas, any other clothes I wanted, and fun stuff with friends. I also got good grades and was active in extracurriculars. Having a job taught me some important life skills--one of which was that having your own money that you don't have to account for because you earned it is awesome.

Anonymous wrote:What? I had jobs from the time I was 14 and all through college. It was fine. Kids have a lot of free time.

Me, too. I didn't have to work, but if I wanted spending money beyond my allowance, including to put gas in the car, I did. It was not the most fun experience, but it was a great learning experience--and I got straight A's in school, so it didn't hurt. The owner of the business I worked at made his kids work there, too, even though they were really well-off.

Anonymous wrote:Do parents really pay for car, gas, insurance, clothes, weekend dates, outings with friends, etc...?

I can't imagine a 16-18yr old wanting Mommy to pay for everything. How embarrassing. Do girlfriend and boyfriends get each other gifts with parents money. What about Christmas? Do you ask your Mom for money to get her a gift? lol. Lame.

Sadly, I have seen parents link their own credit cards to their kid's college accounts, pay for their cars, pay for off campus housing, pay for down payment of mortgage, etc... Then you hear about how baby boomers can't retire.

Do parents really pay for car, gas, insurance, clothes, weekend dates, outings with friends, etc...?

I can't imagine a 16-18yr old wanting Mommy to pay for everything. How embarrassing. Do girlfriend and boyfriends get each other gifts with parents money. What about Christmas? Do you ask your Mom for money to get her a gift? lol. Lame.