Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm one of the people who "learned" to project my voice as a teacher. But even though I can talk quietly / calmly in a home setting, I find it incredibly annoying when one friend regularly shushes me. This tends to happen when I get excited in talking about something I care deeply about. I start to get a bit more excited or passionate and my voice gets louder, I guess, and the friend starts shushing me. And then I just want to shut down inside. My inner reaction is, "Really? Are you that fragile? Can you not just for once try to absorb what I am saying, which I care deeply about, rather than interrupt me to insist that I talk more quietly? Is it really *that* hard to listen to me as I speak from the heart?

So you find me very annoying, and I find what strikes me as your ultra-sensitivity to noise very annoying. But I have never ever called you out on it, since I realize you cannot help it, and you always call me out on it, since you assume I can help it. Sigh.

It sort of feels like a (bad) teacher scrawling with red pen all over a personal essay with nothing nice to say about it. Sure, I can deal with my imperfections, but if you keep being obsessed with enforcing your expectations for how I should present myself, eventually I feel a lot less interested in opening up to you because it doesn't feel like you care a whole lot about me, just about how you experience the world.

Having said all of that, I too am aware that some people are louder than my inner loudness barometer cares to listen to. And yes, it's annoying. But I just roll with it.

Tell your friend who regularly shushes you all this. She's hurting you. I don't think anything like that about you. The only thing I'm thinking is "Wow, she's loud." I won't shush you. I won't tell you you are assaulting my eardrums. I will listen to what you have to say (how can I not?) and I will appreciate it and process it, but the thing I will ultimately take away and remember about you is that you're loud.

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm one of the people who "learned" to project my voice as a teacher. But even though I can talk quietly / calmly in a home setting, I find it incredibly annoying when one friend regularly shushes me. This tends to happen when I get excited in talking about something I care deeply about. I start to get a bit more excited or passionate and my voice gets louder, I guess, and the friend starts shushing me. And then I just want to shut down inside. My inner reaction is, "Really? Are you that fragile? Can you not just for once try to absorb what I am saying, which I care deeply about, rather than interrupt me to insist that I talk more quietly? Is it really *that* hard to listen to me as I speak from the heart?

So you find me very annoying, and I find what strikes me as your ultra-sensitivity to noise very annoying. But I have never ever called you out on it, since I realize you cannot help it, and you always call me out on it, since you assume I can help it. Sigh.

It sort of feels like a (bad) teacher scrawling with red pen all over a personal essay with nothing nice to say about it. Sure, I can deal with my imperfections, but if you keep being obsessed with enforcing your expectations for how I should present myself, eventually I feel a lot less interested in opening up to you because it doesn't feel like you care a whole lot about me, just about how you experience the world.

Having said all of that, I too am aware that some people are louder than my inner loudness barometer cares to listen to. And yes, it's annoying. But I just roll with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm one of the people who "learned" to project my voice as a teacher. But even though I can talk quietly / calmly in a home setting, I find it incredibly annoying when one friend regularly shushes me. This tends to happen when I get excited in talking about something I care deeply about. I start to get a bit more excited or passionate and my voice gets louder, I guess, and the friend starts shushing me. And then I just want to shut down inside. My inner reaction is, "Really? Are you that fragile? Can you not just for once try to absorb what I am saying, which I care deeply about, rather than interrupt me to insist that I talk more quietly? Is it really *that* hard to listen to me as I speak from the heart?

So you find me very annoying, and I find what strikes me as your ultra-sensitivity to noise very annoying. But I have never ever called you out on it, since I realize you cannot help it, and you always call me out on it, since you assume I can help it. Sigh.

It sort of feels like a (bad) teacher scrawling with red pen all over a personal essay with nothing nice to say about it. Sure, I can deal with my imperfections, but if you keep being obsessed with enforcing your expectations for how I should present myself, eventually I feel a lot less interested in opening up to you because it doesn't feel like you care a whole lot about me, just about how you experience the world.

Having said all of that, I too am aware that some people are louder than my inner loudness barometer cares to listen to. And yes, it's annoying. But I just roll with it.

Nice post.

Could you imagine a world where we went around criticizing people on every little thing.

Oh wait that is DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm one of the people who "learned" to project my voice as a teacher. But even though I can talk quietly / calmly in a home setting, I find it incredibly annoying when one friend regularly shushes me. This tends to happen when I get excited in talking about something I care deeply about. I start to get a bit more excited or passionate and my voice gets louder, I guess, and the friend starts shushing me. And then I just want to shut down inside. My inner reaction is, "Really? Are you that fragile? Can you not just for once try to absorb what I am saying, which I care deeply about, rather than interrupt me to insist that I talk more quietly? Is it really *that* hard to listen to me as I speak from the heart?

So you find me very annoying, and I find what strikes me as your ultra-sensitivity to noise very annoying. But I have never ever called you out on it, since I realize you cannot help it, and you always call me out on it, since you assume I can help it. Sigh.

It sort of feels like a (bad) teacher scrawling with red pen all over a personal essay with nothing nice to say about it. Sure, I can deal with my imperfections, but if you keep being obsessed with enforcing your expectations for how I should present myself, eventually I feel a lot less interested in opening up to you because it doesn't feel like you care a whole lot about me, just about how you experience the world.

Having said all of that, I too am aware that some people are louder than my inner loudness barometer cares to listen to. And yes, it's annoying. But I just roll with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also very loud when i speak, especially on the phone. I don't realize it until someone points it out and then I feel bad. I had a coworker who would make a big production of turning her music up every time I got on the phone. She never once approached me and said could you keep it down (which I try to do when i remember and I dont mind when people remind me). She pissed me off so much i didn't even try to be quiet around her.

Remind yourself. You are an adult. Place a sticky note on your phone that reads "QUIET."

Not this pp, but you are an adult, too. Deal with it. Not everyone is you. You need to grow up and realize.

No, if you are disrupting and disturbing most of the people around you the burden is on you to rectify.

Says you. Lol.

Great response. You are killing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also very loud when i speak, especially on the phone. I don't realize it until someone points it out and then I feel bad. I had a coworker who would make a big production of turning her music up every time I got on the phone. She never once approached me and said could you keep it down (which I try to do when i remember and I dont mind when people remind me). She pissed me off so much i didn't even try to be quiet around her.

Remind yourself. You are an adult. Place a sticky note on your phone that reads "QUIET."

Not this pp, but you are an adult, too. Deal with it. Not everyone is you. You need to grow up and realize.

No, if you are disrupting and disturbing most of the people around you the burden is on you to rectify.

Says you. Lol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also very loud when i speak, especially on the phone. I don't realize it until someone points it out and then I feel bad. I had a coworker who would make a big production of turning her music up every time I got on the phone. She never once approached me and said could you keep it down (which I try to do when i remember and I dont mind when people remind me). She pissed me off so much i didn't even try to be quiet around her.

Remind yourself. You are an adult. Place a sticky note on your phone that reads "QUIET."

Not this pp, but you are an adult, too. Deal with it. Not everyone is you. You need to grow up and realize.

No, if you are disrupting and disturbing most of the people around you the burden is on you to rectify.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they are extroverts. Get over it.

+1

Preach.

What a childish excuse. I'm an introvert but do a lot of public speaking. I manage to raise the volume of my voice when I'm called on to do so. Loud talkers can do the same, they just choose not to because they like the attention and in many cases have this fantasy that everyone finds them interesting.

It's just so tacky.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am normally loud. Very loud. It is my default. I literally cannot help it. My husband shushes me all the time. It's just who I am.

Really? Have you tried? Why do you do it?

I could help it but I'd have to make a concerted effort for every word I said. It's like me telling you have to whisper all day long. Sure, you could do it, but not only would it be a pain in the ass to keep trying, inevitably you would slip back into your normal speech pattern at some point.

I don't "do it" on purpose. It's just who I am.

+1

Everyone is out to get OP, dontchaknow? LOL.

There are a lot of people who agree with OP. Loud talkers are attention-seekers in my experience. Even when discussing personal matters they insist on doing it at top volume, even when you're in a public space with them. They are also (what a shock) seemingly oblivious to the other people in the public sphere looking at them like, WTF, you're annoying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they are extroverts. Get over it.

+1

Preach.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also very loud when i speak, especially on the phone. I don't realize it until someone points it out and then I feel bad. I had a coworker who would make a big production of turning her music up every time I got on the phone. She never once approached me and said could you keep it down (which I try to do when i remember and I dont mind when people remind me). She pissed me off so much i didn't even try to be quiet around her.

Remind yourself. You are an adult. Place a sticky note on your phone that reads "QUIET."

Not this pp, but you are an adult, too. Deal with it. Not everyone is you. You need to grow up and realize.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am normally loud. Very loud. It is my default. I literally cannot help it. My husband shushes me all the time. It's just who I am.

Really? Have you tried? Why do you do it?

I could help it but I'd have to make a concerted effort for every word I said. It's like me telling you have to whisper all day long. Sure, you could do it, but not only would it be a pain in the ass to keep trying, inevitably you would slip back into your normal speech pattern at some point.

I don't "do it" on purpose. It's just who I am.

+1

Everyone is out to get OP, dontchaknow? LOL.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if they know they are? It's grating at best. Super annoying.

If you're loud and realize it, have you tried to modulate your voice?

Anonymous wrote:ADHD