Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my case, my husband is clueless about how to parent children, manage a household, manage a family, or take care of a house property or vehicles. All he knows how to do is kiss ass at the office and work 60+ hours a week.

Just like his mother taught him: his job then was to get good grades (no sports). She took care of everything, his father was just a bumbling around in the background w a slow and easy research job.

Were you clueless about this when you married him? Or, did you think you could change him once the rings were exchanged?

I'm not defending this poster in terms of workaholic hours but sometimes when people meet in grad/law school I've seen this happen. You don't know at 25 what your first few jobs will be like. Will you end up in big law, as a lobbyist, at a non-profit with stable hours, being a partner, opening up your own firm, working for the government etc. Once you have kids it can be like a game of chicken, of who is willing to make changes in his/her career first. Usually, especially if the man is bringing in the money, the woman ends up staying at home. That said, I've seen guys that have high powered jobs still coach their kids teams. Or at a minimum clearly take on their share of the kid stuff during the weekend.

But for the clueless part, he is only as clueless as you allow him to be. I feel if someone can be an Executive and manage office politics, multi-million dollar budgets, in addition to whatever is the core business of his group (is it a mission to Pluto, changing health care laws, creating the latest gadget), oh and travel around the country for work, surely he can change a diaper and get junior to soccer practice. What would he do if you had to go away for two weeks? He would have to learn ...may not be how you would do it, but he would ask someone else how, Google, trial and error, whatever but figure it out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it sink in. What's happening in our world?

Men suck. They've always sucked. Back in the day when most women stayed at home, it was a given that they'd be responsible for the majority of the household and child rearing burden. In our current society women are now expected to work full time but STILL shoulder the lions share of those duties. It's a joke. My two cents.

Women of a certain class chose to work outside of the home, when it was entirely optional, without consulting their husbands about the housework. If you want to have it all, then have it all. Your circus, your monkeys (to pilfer a phrase I now LOVE).

Nice that you don't think housework and childcare are your responsibilities too. You know, you made the choice to work yourself. Why didn't you consult your wife about housework?

Anonymous wrote:All the men who are not nice to their wives are in reality not attracted to them or not in love with them.

The men in love with their wives are perfect husbands.

Wanna perfect husband, be lovable, not a shrew.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it sink in. What's happening in our world?

Men suck. They've always sucked. Back in the day when most women stayed at home, it was a given that they'd be responsible for the majority of the household and child rearing burden. In our current society women are now expected to work full time but STILL shoulder the lions share of those duties. It's a joke. My two cents.

Women of a certain class chose to work outside of the home, when it was entirely optional, without consulting their husbands about the housework. If you want to have it all, then have it all. Your circus, your monkeys (to pilfer a phrase I now LOVE).

Anonymous wrote:In my case, my husband is clueless about how to parent children, manage a household, manage a family, or take care of a house property or vehicles. All he knows how to do is kiss ass at the office and work 60+ hours a week.

Just like his mother taught him: his job then was to get good grades (no sports). She took care of everything, his father was just a bumbling around in the background w a slow and easy research job.

I am sorry your husband is not pulling his weight at home. Did you ignore signs that he would turn out this way when you were dating or did you miss them. I am not judging, just trying to understand how you ended up with such a bad fit of a spouse for you(some women love workaholics who do nothing else- I have a friend whose husband is like this and she thinks it is cool).

Ladies or wives some of you should have vetted your future spouses before marriage. Don't sell me story they changed because people show you who they are from day 1 and most of you ignore it. If your primary focus for a husband is strictly high income provider, well you get what you get. You should've added more qualities that are important to you to that check-off list. All that said are some of things you complain worth complaining about? Are they necessities or wants? I swear some of you wives just like being busy but it's not exactly productive work either. Start eliminate things that are not worth arguing or fighting about with your husbands. Just my 2 cents.

Anonymous wrote:In my case, my husband is clueless about how to parent children, manage a household, manage a family, or take care of a house property or vehicles. All he knows how to do is kiss ass at the office and work 60+ hours a week.

Just like his mother taught him: his job then was to get good grades (no sports). She took care of everything, his father was just a bumbling around in the background w a slow and easy research job.

Were you clueless about this when you married him? Or, did you think you could change him once the rings were exchanged?

In my case, my husband is clueless about how to parent children, manage a household, manage a family, or take care of a house property or vehicles. All he knows how to do is kiss ass at the office and work 60+ hours a week.

Just like his mother taught him: his job then was to get good grades (no sports). She took care of everything, his father was just a bumbling around in the background w a slow and easy research job.

All the men who are not nice to their wives are in reality not attracted to them or not in love with them.

The men in love with their wives are perfect husbands.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:'Tis the season for women to pick up even MORE of the burden of family life. We have the regular 'ole tiresome shit. And now we also have the holidays to deal with. Throw in some PITA MILs in there and we have a mega husband hateathon.

Go help with the holidays. Plan out some meals. Take over the gift shopping. Go call your f'in mother yourself.

That is what women need. NOT a "good screw".

But why are we doing all of this stuff??

I know my husband won't do holiday cards. So guess what? I'm not doing them. I'm not planning any meals either. If your husband doesn't do these things he probably doesn't care. So what's the point? Spend the time and energy on yourself and you'll be happier.

We tend to do a lot for the kids. Decorate. Have family over for the holidays. Guess we could just order pizza next time. Who needs a turkey? We get everyone in immediate family (and some extended) a gift for xmas. We do limit it to 1/person. Guess we could just do gift cards, but that seems lame. We haven't done holiday cards in years. I don't know why MIL is a high-maintenance B though. That's not our choice. DH already has dealing with her on his list. I only put up with that nonsense so the kids will know that grandmother.

Most of it is for the kids to answer your question.

I must be a bad mom. I just don't do these things. I approach the holidays like a man would.

You don't decorate or give gifts to your kids for the holidays?

I wait and see what my husband wants to do for decorating. I order gifts online while at work. . It's not that hard. I try and view the holidays as extra time off of work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:'Tis the season for women to pick up even MORE of the burden of family life. We have the regular 'ole tiresome shit. And now we also have the holidays to deal with. Throw in some PITA MILs in there and we have a mega husband hateathon.

Go help with the holidays. Plan out some meals. Take over the gift shopping. Go call your f'in mother yourself.

That is what women need. NOT a "good screw".

But why are we doing all of this stuff??

I know my husband won't do holiday cards. So guess what? I'm not doing them. I'm not planning any meals either. If your husband doesn't do these things he probably doesn't care. So what's the point? Spend the time and energy on yourself and you'll be happier.

We tend to do a lot for the kids. Decorate. Have family over for the holidays. Guess we could just order pizza next time. Who needs a turkey? We get everyone in immediate family (and some extended) a gift for xmas. We do limit it to 1/person. Guess we could just do gift cards, but that seems lame. We haven't done holiday cards in years. I don't know why MIL is a high-maintenance B though. That's not our choice. DH already has dealing with her on his list. I only put up with that nonsense so the kids will know that grandmother.

Most of it is for the kids to answer your question.

I must be a bad mom. I just don't do these things. I approach the holidays like a man would.

You don't decorate or give gifts to your kids for the holidays?

Anonymous wrote:Women have learned to do a double shift and balance everything (kids, house, work) themselves. Men haven't picked up the slack from having a working wife and women are getting sick of it.

BS. When are you 'busters' going to learn this word ''some''. Some men are lazy. Some women are lazy. Some men are too horny and inconsiderate for their own good. Some women are frigid and DGAS what a man feels. Some women have more than 'earned' a cut above and attention, as have some men, and those who fit in those example are getting ignored.

Ok what is wrong with our lives? We all work, we're all stressed, WTF?! We are obviously being swindled by the powers that be. Stop blaming DH. It's going to get worse under Trump.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it sink in. What's happening in our world?

Men suck. They've always sucked. Back in the day when most women stayed at home, it was a given that they'd be responsible for the majority of the household and child rearing burden. In our current society women are now expected to work full time but STILL shoulder the lions share of those duties. It's a joke. My two cents.

This. We've been scammed!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well. Women wanted these sensitive, metro sexual men in touch with their feelings. This is what you get..worthless, lacking ambition weak men.

More to the point, judging by the threads, divorce rate and sexless marriages posted about here, there is little reason men see the benefits of marriage. There are great women out there...not many are found in DC or posting on this forum though

When I read this I think of some sensitive guy with a beard. You know, the type who call someone a soulmate. I cannot believe women want these men. You see them all over the place. Those super skinny urban nerds who have the fanny packs.

Where are the men who walk out of the office Thursdays to coach soccer or baseball?

Where are the men that do 6am-9am office work in the weekends and then go teach their kids something or practice a sport together? You think reading your work iPhone 5x an hour is oarwbting? You think you can multitask and know wtf is going on in your real life when you walk around dreaming of your work? Really.

Priorities in practice are way out of whack.

And many men do not respect the homemaker role whatsoever. It's not about what's best for the kids, it's about what's best for himself, and having a milk maid at home so he can check out even more sounds easy peasy to most.