Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 17:55     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:I posted a couple of times before recommending that you see a lawyer. I still think you should see a lawyer *before* you meet with your cousin, so you are fully aware of all your rights and responsibilities, otherwise you may be making decisions that may come back to bite you. It's best for you to know all of the possibilities and consequences before you make any concessions or promises to Mary. If you have to meet with her first, don't make any promises; just hear her out. Good luck.


It would be a good idea to let Mary and Roy know that it would be a good idea for them to talk to a lawyer, just to make sure everyone in the family can see that you are not trying to take advantage of the situation. Mary and Roy should have their own lawyer and you should have your own lawyer, so that all the parties have someone looking out for them in a legal sense.

And Roy should be at the meeting with you and Mary, also. He is also affected by the wil.

Has anyone talked to the lawyer who wrote the will? The lawyer might be able to shed light on what was behind the idea of leaving the house to someone other than her own children.
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 16:37     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
I posted a couple of times before recommending that you see a lawyer. I still think you should see a lawyer *before* you meet with your cousin, so you are fully aware of all your rights and responsibilities, otherwise you may be making decisions that may come back to bite you. It's best for you to know all of the possibilities and consequences before you make any concessions or promises to Mary. If you have to meet with her first, don't make any promises; just hear her out. Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 16:35     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
I would not bring an attorney, that is aggressive at this point.

That said, absolutely do NOT agree to give any part of the inheritance away at that meeting. If there are any assertions re the fairness of the will are raised, I think the focus should be on hearing each other out and planning to follow up after each of you has had an opportunity to think it through. Even if what is discussed is you sharing the house, do not commit to it with taking time to think it through after the meeting.

Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 15:59     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Op here, I called my cousin and we will be having a meeting and a couple of days to talk about what we plan to do about the house and the whole situation. I'm not sure if I need to have a lawyer present at this time
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 15:23     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
i think the key here is that Thelma made a conscious choice re how to distribute her estate. She had a daughter that made questionable choices (I think people are going off the deep end opining on this neer do well's undiscovered genius) and she elected to leave a large part of her estate to a grandniece/goddaughter. That is her choice to make. Either it was justified and Mary should suck it up or Thelma was arbitrary and thoughtless. If the latter, likely not the first time and the daughter again should move on.

From the story described, my guess is that Thelma had good reason to not leave her house to Mary.

Good luck to Larla, think about paying it forward when you are able.
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 13:49     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Mary shouldn't be entitled to the house. She has left home and is capable of life on her own. She refuses to.
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 13:17     Subject: Re:Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
For the last time Thelma has a sibling, my grandmother who is also the executor of the will. I do not know why she wrote the will the way she did
...most likely it was because she wanted to give me her house. she does not have any other godchildren she has several nieces and nephews one being my father and all of them are Stabley S-t in life so as my grandmother said she gave it to me because I would be the person who needed it most.


So you are a great-niece to Thelma and your father is her nephew. And Thelma decided to give a great-niece a $400,000 house and give her own children, who are her closest blood relatives, just $100,000 each.

Could you and Mary and Roy go to a lawyer together and talk about the circumstances of the will and whether or not there are grounds for contesting the will? That way, you could make sure that everyone's rights are protected and that everyone is being treated fairly.

It is certainly nice to inherit $400,000 when you are only 25 years old, but if there is any chance at all that there is something off about the will, the money will not bring you happiness. And if it means putting your cousin out of her family home it could cause bad feelings in your extended family for some time to come. Treat your cousin the way you would wish to be treated if the tables were turned. She is your family after all.
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 12:52     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you didn't work for this money and you don't deserve it. That said, you have it, since Thelma was too weak to be a mother to glued daughter while alive and has left you holding the bag.

You have no compassion for Mary and frankly you don't seem to know her very well. She is a caricature to you. You don't know how she ended up the way she has, but what you do know is that she has had the rug pulled out from under her Ina cruel way...not by you, but by Thelma.

I hate inherited wealth. It is corrosive. You already sound entitled to this money and defensive about your cousin's supposed Lexi of worthiness to inherit. I think you're posting here because rep down you know it is immoral to put your cousin out. And unless Thema prepared Mary long ago for this scenario, what has been done to her is cruel.

You haven't won the lottery or earned this money. If it were me, I'd work very hard to help my cousin.


You do realize that this cousin is like a 50-year-old woman right? If she hasn't had a mental illness this whole time , she can't now out of the blue claim mental defect and therefore she should stay in the house forever. I think she played her mother and she's trying to play you


Mental illness is not always diagnosed at a young age. Some people are too embarrassed to seek psychological help and thus there is no diagnosis. Also, sometimes when people are very intelligent, as Mary must be since she has two graduate degrees, they can compensate for the symptoms of mental illness to the point where people around them might not realize that they have issues. Have you ever seen the movie A Beautiful Mind? His case was extreme, but it was a good illustration of how easy it is for mental illness to go undiagnosed for a long time.
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 12:27     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
I don't think anything is mentally wrong with her she just sounds entitled
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 12:26     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:OP, you didn't work for this money and you don't deserve it. That said, you have it, since Thelma was too weak to be a mother to glued daughter while alive and has left you holding the bag.

You have no compassion for Mary and frankly you don't seem to know her very well. She is a caricature to you. You don't know how she ended up the way she has, but what you do know is that she has had the rug pulled out from under her Ina cruel way...not by you, but by Thelma.

I hate inherited wealth. It is corrosive. You already sound entitled to this money and defensive about your cousin's supposed Lexi of worthiness to inherit. I think you're posting here because rep down you know it is immoral to put your cousin out. And unless Thema prepared Mary long ago for this scenario, what has been done to her is cruel.

You haven't won the lottery or earned this money. If it were me, I'd work very hard to help my cousin.


You do realize that this cousin is like a 50-year-old woman right? If she hasn't had a mental illness this whole time , she can't now out of the blue claim mental defect and therefore she should stay in the house forever. I think she played her mother and she's trying to play you
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 12:23     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are only hearing Larla's side of the story. And there have been a lot of questions asked here about the situation that she hasn't answered, so it is difficult to say what should be done.

Just glancing back through the last page or so for questions:

Does Thelma have any other siblings? Any other nieces or nephews or godchildren?
Who is the executor of the will?
What caused Thelma to write her will the way she did?

It would be great if Larla would show this thread to Mary and ask her to post and answer some of the questions people have been asking about what was going on between her and her mother.

Mary and Roy should at least consult with a lawyer to find out if there are any grounds to contest the will. If everyone in the family cooperates and works toward doing the right thing, it will hopefully all work out.


Should say "stable in life"

For the last time Thelma has a sibling, my grandmother who is also the executor of the will. I do not know why she wrote the will the way she did
...most likely it was because she wanted to give me her house. she does not have any other godchildren she has several nieces and nephews one being my father and all of them are Stabley S-t in life so as my grandmother said she gave it to me because I would be the person who needed it most.
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 12:23     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you didn't work for this money and you don't deserve it. That said, you have it, since Thelma was too weak to be a mother to glued daughter while alive and has left you holding the bag.

You have no compassion for Mary and frankly you don't seem to know her very well. She is a caricature to you. You don't know how she ended up the way she has, but what you do know is that she has had the rug pulled out from under her Ina cruel way...not by you, but by Thelma.

I hate inherited wealth. It is corrosive. You already sound entitled to this money and defensive about your cousin's supposed Lexi of worthiness to inherit. I think you're posting here because rep down you know it is immoral to put your cousin out. And unless Thema prepared Mary long ago for this scenario, what has been done to her is cruel.

You haven't won the lottery or earned this money. If it were me, I'd work very hard to help my cousin.


It is inherited money, most people don't work for money they inherit.


People don't work for winning the lottery either -- what a strange way to conclude that post. It sounds like Mary may have joined us???


Exactly people on the board are acting like I don't deserve it for some reason. I never said I was more entitled or more deserving than the next person however the reality is that the house was left to me.
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 12:21     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:We are only hearing Larla's side of the story. And there have been a lot of questions asked here about the situation that she hasn't answered, so it is difficult to say what should be done.

Just glancing back through the last page or so for questions:

Does Thelma have any other siblings? Any other nieces or nephews or godchildren?
Who is the executor of the will?
What caused Thelma to write her will the way she did?

It would be great if Larla would show this thread to Mary and ask her to post and answer some of the questions people have been asking about what was going on between her and her mother.

Mary and Roy should at least consult with a lawyer to find out if there are any grounds to contest the will. If everyone in the family cooperates and works toward doing the right thing, it will hopefully all work out.


For the last time Thelma has a sibling, my grandmother who is also the executor of the will. I do not know why she wrote the will the way she did
...most likely it was because she wanted to give me her house. she does not have any other godchildren she has several nieces and nephews one being my father and all of them are Stabley S-t in life so as my grandmother said she gave it to me because I would be the person who needed it most.
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 12:20     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you didn't work for this money and you don't deserve it. That said, you have it, since Thelma was too weak to be a mother to glued daughter while alive and has left you holding the bag.

You have no compassion for Mary and frankly you don't seem to know her very well. She is a caricature to you. You don't know how she ended up the way she has, but what you do know is that she has had the rug pulled out from under her Ina cruel way...not by you, but by Thelma.

I hate inherited wealth. It is corrosive. You already sound entitled to this money and defensive about your cousin's supposed Lexi of worthiness to inherit. I think you're posting here because rep down you know it is immoral to put your cousin out. And unless Thema prepared Mary long ago for this scenario, what has been done to her is cruel.

You haven't won the lottery or earned this money. If it were me, I'd work very hard to help my cousin.


It is inherited money, most people don't work for money they inherit.


People don't work for winning the lottery either -- what a strange way to conclude that post. It sounds like Mary may have joined us???
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 11:35     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:OP, you didn't work for this money and you don't deserve it. That said, you have it, since Thelma was too weak to be a mother to glued daughter while alive and has left you holding the bag.

You have no compassion for Mary and frankly you don't seem to know her very well. She is a caricature to you. You don't know how she ended up the way she has, but what you do know is that she has had the rug pulled out from under her Ina cruel way...not by you, but by Thelma.

I hate inherited wealth. It is corrosive. You already sound entitled to this money and defensive about your cousin's supposed Lexi of worthiness to inherit. I think you're posting here because rep down you know it is immoral to put your cousin out. And unless Thema prepared Mary long ago for this scenario, what has been done to her is cruel.

You haven't won the lottery or earned this money. If it were me, I'd work very hard to help my cousin.


It is inherited money, most people don't work for money they inherit.