^^ You are a good person and both you and your DD deserve better than what your ex did to you. You are being quite generous, and now you have the home and the nest egg for Yu DD's future and your retirement.

I am the H of OP. Went back and since people seem to be curious as to what happened, it has been a most interesting week.

My (now) Ex decided NOT to take the house. Instead she packed up her stuff and moved to be with her lover. We have an agreement in principle, but it needs to be formalized and signed, and it is in my favor.

I buy her out of the house. DD stays with me. I pay her alimony (28% of my gross, or 48K/yr for 10 years. She gets 1/2 the 401K (I could have separated the premarital value and subsequent growth, but it would not be that much). Oh, and she has to pay me child support. (700/mo, so I will pay her 3300 instead of 4K/mo).

The big change was the one condition I put on her living in/getting the house: I did not want her AP to be in the house when DD was present. And, I printed the thread and showed it to my Lawyer. She (my Lawyer) showed it to W's lawyer who then dropped all demands.

We sign the paperwork after thanksgiving.

BTW, DD is horrified by her mother's behavior.

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all the pages, but it depends on the laws of the state. I am pretty sure in Virginia that anything acquired during the marriage is treated as 50/50 unless there was a separation agreement in place that stated money and assets acquired after separation date were not joint. At least, that's what our lawyers told us.

Rereading and figured out I am wrong.

I haven't read all the pages, but it depends on the laws of the state. I am pretty sure in Virginia that anything acquired during the marriage is treated as 50/50 unless there was a separation agreement in place that stated money and assets acquired after separation date were not joint. At least, that's what our lawyers told us.

Probably since the STBX found this. I hope one of them comes back and updates once they settle.


This assuming that OPs greedy ass has finally seen the light and realized what a great deal she's getting.

Where's the next installment in this saga; i.e., OP reveals she had known all along that STBX has had a secret, second family in a nearby state, etc?

Seriously, are you just going to leave us all hanging?

.

I think there should be financial equality in a marriage, I wouldn't want DH to have a higher net worth than me.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't decide - I didn't create the trust.

That was also a provision for my trust. Ans we were both homeowners and had significant assets from working it was no big deal for either of us.

I think a pre nup is just one more layer of protection.

If you are happy to have someone who - say- married your daughter then cheated on her and tried to take the money - well, we are different. I'm not interested in "sharing" with someone who is a cheater and who has no legitimate claim to anything that is mine.

As I said, I wouldn't be happy about it. BUT I think marriage is all about sharing. Careful who you marry.

$74k to stay at home? F me! I'd like $74k to stay at home, go the gym, hang out and not work.

Greedy Cee U Next Tuesday

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe inheritances should be shared. DH and I are a team!! We share,

Spoken like someone who has never inherited anything. My spouse and I are happily marrried, and I share my annual distributions but my trust is protected in the event of dovorce. The idea of him cheating on me then assuming that he has the right to the money that my Mom slaved away to amass and protect makes me sick.

NP here - Don't assume that those who want to share have never inherited anything. I shared my inheritance. I handle all of our finances, and I definitely agree with the sentiment that DH and I are a team and we share.

I think that most married people think they are a team and share. However it's just a fact that a large percentage of marriages fail. No way in hell is anyone who cheated on me taking the money that was entrusted to me.

It's the law. Inheritances which are not commingled are separate property, not marital assets. If you left money for your children, would you want the divorced son or daughter-in-law to get half of everything you worked for? They have their own parents to leave them an inheritance, should they be so fortunate.

Yes, I hope my kids share what I leave them. Their spouse should share too.

That's so nice of you! I married a guy who came from nothing and I had legitimate wealth. I, too planned to share in the way of using the annual distributions for our family. $56k/year tax free every year is a nice contribution. The principal was and is mine.

I didn't decide - I didn't create the trust.

That was also a provision for my trust. Ans we were both homeowners and had significant assets from working it was no big deal for either of us.

I think a pre nup is just one more layer of protection.

If you are happy to have someone who - say- married your daughter then cheated on her and tried to take the money - well, we are different. I'm not interested in "sharing" with someone who is a cheater and who has no legitimate claim to anything that is mine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe inheritances should be shared. DH and I are a team!! We share,

Spoken like someone who has never inherited anything. My spouse and I are happily marrried, and I share my annual distributions but my trust is protected in the event of dovorce. The idea of him cheating on me then assuming that he has the right to the money that my Mom slaved away to amass and protect makes me sick.

NP here - Don't assume that those who want to share have never inherited anything. I shared my inheritance. I handle all of our finances, and I definitely agree with the sentiment that DH and I are a team and we share.

I think that most married people think they are a team and share. However it's just a fact that a large percentage of marriages fail. No way in hell is anyone who cheated on me taking the money that was entrusted to me.

It's the law. Inheritances which are not commingled are separate property, not marital assets. If you left money for your children, would you want the divorced son or daughter-in-law to get half of everything you worked for? They have their own parents to leave them an inheritance, should they be so fortunate.

Is this directed at me (the person you quoted)?

I know it's the law. We agree with one another. And no- I wouldn't want my kids ex taking half of their trusts. That is why the trusts require a pre nup.

So, you decided your child in law will need to sign a prenup? Wow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe inheritances should be shared. DH and I are a team!! We share,

Spoken like someone who has never inherited anything. My spouse and I are happily marrried, and I share my annual distributions but my trust is protected in the event of dovorce. The idea of him cheating on me then assuming that he has the right to the money that my Mom slaved away to amass and protect makes me sick.

NP here - Don't assume that those who want to share have never inherited anything. I shared my inheritance. I handle all of our finances, and I definitely agree with the sentiment that DH and I are a team and we share.

I think that most married people think they are a team and share. However it's just a fact that a large percentage of marriages fail. No way in hell is anyone who cheated on me taking the money that was entrusted to me.

It's the law. Inheritances which are not commingled are separate property, not marital assets. If you left money for your children, would you want the divorced son or daughter-in-law to get half of everything you worked for? They have their own parents to leave them an inheritance, should they be so fortunate.

Yes, I hope my kids share what I leave them. Their spouse should share too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe inheritances should be shared. DH and I are a team!! We share,

Spoken like someone who has never inherited anything. My spouse and I are happily marrried, and I share my annual distributions but my trust is protected in the event of dovorce. The idea of him cheating on me then assuming that he has the right to the money that my Mom slaved away to amass and protect makes me sick.

NP here - Don't assume that those who want to share have never inherited anything. I shared my inheritance. I handle all of our finances, and I definitely agree with the sentiment that DH and I are a team and we share.

I'm sure you would happily fork over half of it if he were to cheat on you and then file for divorce.

I wouldn't be happy but I commingled my inheritance immediately. So it's not like I would fork it over later, he already has half.