I have to say, this thread is cracking me up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What turns you on?

Here are some visual aids to help you.

DON'T:




DO:

I agree with the DON'T -- but, seriously, you'd like the DO? Pretty sure that would annoy the fuck out of my wife.

Well I'm pretty sure you probably don't look like that hot guy.

Anonymous wrote:I think the confusion comes from the title "Women do you like to be groped by your husbands" -- and the fact that OP said that, in addition to not liking the dry humping, she didn't want to be touched in a sexually suggestive way when she is trying to do something.

"Groped" and "touched in a sexually suggestive way" can refer to a lot of physical interaction, going way beyond dry humping.

In fact, the "DO" picture above is a sexually suggestive touch that probably wouldn't be welcomed by a lot of women when they were trying to do something.

Yeah and the "don't touch her sexually at all until it's after 11:30 and you're in bed with the lights off" approach also works. Or actually not. But at least it minimizes the hassle for sexually dead wives who are bored with their husband's advances.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man married with children and i still have sex with my wife a few times a week. Here is a tip buddy, dont hump your wife like a dog, don't do anything thay might be appealing at a 20yr old frat boy. Women don't find that funny and it definity will not get them in the mood, it will turn them off.

Married with children here as well and I agree with you, to a point. I think the better formulation is to know your wife and do things that you know she'll appreciate and she should do the same for you. For example, if I'm at work and feeling frisky, I'll occasionally send her a text message that you would think came from an uneducated buffoon ("Imma tap dat azz tonite!"). If we're going away for the weekend without the kids, I'll threaten to hide her underwear at the hotel so she has to go around without it. If we're at home and the kids are not in view, I'll avail myself of a quick dry hump when she bends over.

Many women here (I suspect) would be totally offended by what I do. However, my wife is not because she knows it's all in fun and that it's because I'm still interested in her.

Love it and DH does it all the time: pats, grabs, dry humps, etc. It's not always a turn on but it is always funny. We don't do it in public or in front of the kids though. I always wondered whether others do it. Now I know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it any wonder that men seek GFs (APs) that aren't repulsed by playful sexual innuendo?

Presumably you are not dry humping and tit honking your Affair Partner in front of her children. Has it dawned on you that a relationship with an AP is different than one with your spouse because kids are never around, as a matter of fact therr is NO STRESS whrn in a relationship where one has no real ties with the person. No fucking shit Sherlock, if i were still in a relationship without kids in the picture id be fucking on the kitchen island at 5:30pm.

OP mentions the kids, but the main complaint was disgust at the DHs childish or crude actions. Apparently women want things done their way or not at all.

Honestly, threads like this make me wish I was gay. There are a few cool women on here who appreciate, or at least humor their husbands, but most of you seem to have zero sense of humor or playfulness left.

I'm a man married with children and i still have sex with my wife a few times a week. Here is a tip buddy, dont hump your wife like a dog, don't do anything thay might be appealing at a 20yr old frat boy. Women don't find that funny and it definity will not get them in the mood, it will turn them off.

You men who are complaining that women are humorless because they don't want to be humped while cleaning dishes, good luck to you. It is no wonder your wives don't want to screw you. My wife doesnt even need to tell me she doesn't like that. What grown up woman finds it funny to be humped like a dog? Use your common sense guys and get out of your own way. If you are not getting laid, look in the mirror.

I think the confusion comes from the title "Women do you like to be groped by your husbands" -- and the fact that OP said that, in addition to not liking the dry humping, she didn't want to be touched in a sexually suggestive way when she is trying to do something.

"Groped" and "touched in a sexually suggestive way" can refer to a lot of physical interaction, going way beyond dry humping.

In fact, the "DO" picture above is a sexually suggestive touch that probably wouldn't be welcomed by a lot of women when they were trying to do something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What turns you on?

Here are some visual aids to help you.

DON'T:




DO:

I agree with the DON'T -- but, seriously, you'd like the DO? Pretty sure that would annoy the fuck out of my wife.

Anonymous wrote:I hate it. I've told him too, don't grab me. He either doesn't listen or doesn't get it, but it makes me less interested in sex with him at any time.

Re: discreet ass slaps - not sure about this one "grab" could just mean things like dry humping, but could also refer to a wide range of physical contact, even if it's discreet.

Anonymous wrote:What turns you on?

Here are some visual aids to help you.

DON'T:




DO:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some really tightly wound ladies here (and I'm a woman). Probably the same ones bitching that their husbands suck, husbands are cheating, etc. I love some playful gropes from my fiancé. It sure is better than feeling like he doesn't think I'm attractive at all!

So you like....

I was washing the dishes when my husband came up behind me and basically started dry humping me.

That is what you like?

I'm pretty the pp was responding to the other posts in this thread that take things out of context and blow them out of proportion. I'd guess she appreciates you proving her point.

I copy and pasted that line from the original post. These are the exact words from OPs post... Not some hyperbole.

I was washing the dishes when my husband came up behind me and basically started dry humping me.

Apparently lots of H's do this and it is not fun, playful or affectionate.

It was clear the pp wasn't referring to that. You can keep pretending, but it isn't helping your argument.

New poster here. The topic is about dry humping and doing it in front of your kids. You are making crap up. Nobody is complaining about simple playfullness. If you want to talk about that, start a relevant thread. The WHOLE POINT OF PEOPLES COMPLAINTS IS IT IS DRY HUMPING IN FRONT OF CHILDREN. NOT NORMAL PLAYFULL PATS. Some of us are married to hyper sexual men who have the sex drive and sexual approach of an 18yr old with no sense of not doing thesr things in front of an audience.

There have been responses since the original post. It's ok to talk about those too. This is not a dry jumping only discussion thread, and anyone who gives it half a thought should be able to see that.

Please point out where women are complaining that they hate it when their DHs give them a playful discreet pat on the ass. Post after post after post about taking it to the next level. There is no loud chorus of women complaining about playful smacks. None.

Anonymous wrote:It's awful because I feel like when men grab a body part/hump/grope it's like they think our body is theirs to do with what they want.

It. Is. My. Body.

If you want sexy time, use your mouth.

Re: not liking discreet ass slaps - This sounds like someone who doesn't like contact with a body part -- just wants verbal interaction.

Playful smacks on the butt, no problem. It's pretty much guaranteed that if I'm walking in front of him or bending over in his presence, my ass is getting swatted.

But I hate to have anything grabbed and the breast "honking" would be very uncomfortable.

The dick stuff seems like it would be silly, but easy to brush off for me as long as it's not done in public.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some really tightly wound ladies here (and I'm a woman). Probably the same ones bitching that their husbands suck, husbands are cheating, etc. I love some playful gropes from my fiancé. It sure is better than feeling like he doesn't think I'm attractive at all!

So you like....

I was washing the dishes when my husband came up behind me and basically started dry humping me.

That is what you like?

I'm pretty the pp was responding to the other posts in this thread that take things out of context and blow them out of proportion. I'd guess she appreciates you proving her point.

I copy and pasted that line from the original post. These are the exact words from OPs post... Not some hyperbole.

I was washing the dishes when my husband came up behind me and basically started dry humping me.

Apparently lots of H's do this and it is not fun, playful or affectionate.

It was clear the pp wasn't referring to that. You can keep pretending, but it isn't helping your argument.

New poster here. The topic is about dry humping and doing it in front of your kids. You are making crap up. Nobody is complaining about simple playfullness. If you want to talk about that, start a relevant thread. The WHOLE POINT OF PEOPLES COMPLAINTS IS IT IS DRY HUMPING IN FRONT OF CHILDREN. NOT NORMAL PLAYFULL PATS. Some of us are married to hyper sexual men who have the sex drive and sexual approach of an 18yr old with no sense of not doing thesr things in front of an audience.

There have been responses since the original post. It's ok to talk about those too. This is not a dry jumping only discussion thread, and anyone who gives it half a thought should be able to see that.

Please point out where women are complaining that they hate it when their DHs give them a playful discreet pat on the ass. Post after post af6er post about taking it to the next level. There is no loud chorus of women complaining about playful smacks

Anonymous wrote:My husband does this annoying thing of pretending anything around that is long is his dick. It could be a baguette, a salami, a hose, a balloon, a batton, a rolled up newspaper. He does it quickly and thrusts it at me to make sure I get the joke. He has been caught by his mom, the mailman, teachers, you name it. Such a manchild.

Funny. That made me giggle.