Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op,

You are correct, but people who are entitled are not going to admit the are entitled.

There was a whole thread on men claiming they can't function at work (aka, the fog) if they go 5 day, 7 days, 10 days without sex.

It is pathetic.

Many say they will chest if they don't "get it enough" or if they are getting it "the sex lacks passion".

Pain and simple it is emotional anise to tell a spouse put out or I will cheat and the cheating will be your fault because you suck in bed or don't give it up enough... Or my favorite, you put the kids first and I feel devalued.

Cheaters/entitled to sex posters are going to roast you, call you cold, dumb, too young to understand. But you are correct.

It is so much easier to lower a libido than to increase one, but men would never agree, they just blame their wives as if they purposely are denying sex"

So many people go without sex for various reasons... Deployed, illness, etc... It's not a basic need.

I can never understand why, if sex is so unimportant, the spouse with a low sex drive finds it so *incredibly* important that their spouse not have sex with anyone else. It's either important or it's not. If not, then let your spouse go out and get a bit on the side on the weekend. Like golf.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If marriage doesn't entitle a man to sex, remind me why any man would agree to it?

If I gotta work for it anyway, might as well sleep around and avoid any chance of getting screwed in a divorce.

Enjoy dying alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

How many relationships have you been in? How long have those relationships lasted?

What I can tell you in my experience of being married for 15 years is that my husband and I both have an expectation that the other will want to have sex. There have been times when the frequency has lessened, and during those times, we do what adults do and COMMUNICATE ABOUT IT.

I agree that there is an issue with husbands who expect sex and do not respect wives' reasons for not wanting to have sex. However, I personally believe that people who are married have an obligation to each other to maintain the romantic relationship. My impression is that many of the men who are "villainizing" their wives for not having sex feel rejected and hurt. The counter-argument to your argument is that when your actions cause your partner to feel hurt and rejected, that is a problem that should be addressed. Some women (AND MEN FOR THAT MATTER) do not address the issue.

What you describe is a very co-dependent way of viewing relationships; you are making the woman responsible for the man's feelings. We are all responsible for our own feelings and dealing with them. When a woman says she doesn't want to have sex, the man doesn't have to take it personally or feel bad about it. If he does, that's HIS problem to deal with. He can consider re-framing his beliefs about the sexual rejection (maybe she does really have a headache... or well, I'm really horny, but I won't actually die if I don't get sex tonight. or maybe I can just take care of myself tonight....) Or he can try talking to his wife about his needs. (Honey, I really love having sex with you, but you seem to say no a lot, is there something going on or something different I can be doing so we can enjoy more sex together?)

It is not the responsibility of the wife to be sexually available at all times just so the husband's feelings aren't hurt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op,

You are correct, but people who are entitled are not going to admit the are entitled.

There was a whole thread on men claiming they can't function at work (aka, the fog) if they go 5 day, 7 days, 10 days without sex.

It is pathetic.

Many say they will chest if they don't "get it enough" or if they are getting it "the sex lacks passion".

Pain and simple it is emotional anise to tell a spouse put out or I will cheat and the cheating will be your fault because you suck in bed or don't give it up enough... Or my favorite, you put the kids first and I feel devalued.

Cheaters/entitled to sex posters are going to roast you, call you cold, dumb, too young to understand. But you are correct.

It is so much easier to lower a libido than to increase one, but men would never agree, they just blame their wives as if they purposely are denying sex"

So many people go without sex for various reasons... Deployed, illness, etc... It's not a basic need.

I can never understand why, if sex is so unimportant, the spouse with a low sex drive finds it so *incredibly* important that their spouse not have sex with anyone else. It's either important or it's not. If not, then let your spouse go out and get a bit on the side on the weekend. Like golf.

Anonymous wrote:When my wife deemed it time to have kids, I felt pressured and used. All three times.

Anonymous wrote:Op,

You are correct, but people who are entitled are not going to admit the are entitled.

There was a whole thread on men claiming they can't function at work (aka, the fog) if they go 5 day, 7 days, 10 days without sex.

It is pathetic.

Many say they will chest if they don't "get it enough" or if they are getting it "the sex lacks passion".

Pain and simple it is emotional anise to tell a spouse put out or I will cheat and the cheating will be your fault because you suck in bed or don't give it up enough... Or my favorite, you put the kids first and I feel devalued.

Cheaters/entitled to sex posters are going to roast you, call you cold, dumb, too young to understand. But you are correct.

It is so much easier to lower a libido than to increase one, but men would never agree, they just blame their wives as if they purposely are denying sex"

So many people go without sex for various reasons... Deployed, illness, etc... It's not a basic need.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered talking to you gyno about why sex repulses you so much?

You might have a hormonal issue. Or maybe you married the wrong guy.

Oh sex doesn't repulse me, and I'm not married (way too young for that). I have a fairly high libido, actually- but if I dont want to have sex, we dont. And my boyfriend respects that, simple as.

I would never try to force him into having sex if he didnt feel like it either.

It seems pretty simple.

Someone doesnt want to have sex with you- DONT HAVE SEX WITH THEM! Why would you even want to?

Anonymous wrote:

How many relationships have you been in? How long have those relationships lasted?

What I can tell you in my experience of being married for 15 years is that my husband and I both have an expectation that the other will want to have sex. There have been times when the frequency has lessened, and during those times, we do what adults do and COMMUNICATE ABOUT IT.

I agree that there is an issue with husbands who expect sex and do not respect wives' reasons for not wanting to have sex. However, I personally believe that people who are married have an obligation to each other to maintain the romantic relationship. My impression is that many of the men who are "villainizing" their wives for not having sex feel rejected and hurt. The counter-argument to your argument is that when your actions cause your partner to feel hurt and rejected, that is a problem that should be addressed. Some women (AND MEN FOR THAT MATTER) do not address the issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If marriage doesn't entitle a man to sex, remind me why any man would agree to it?

If I gotta work for it anyway, might as well sleep around and avoid any chance of getting screwed in a divorce.

YES!! OP here- please- DO THAT!! So much better and healthier for you to be having one night stands involving mutual consent than pressuring some poor woman into laying back and taking it because YOU want to get laid and feel entitled to her body cause of a wedding certificate. The one stand plan is perfect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If marriage doesn't entitle a man to sex, remind me why any man would agree to it?

If I gotta work for it anyway, might as well sleep around and avoid any chance of getting screwed in a divorce.

YES!! OP here- please- DO THAT!! So much better and healthier for you to be having one night stands involving mutual consent than pressuring some poor woman into laying back and taking it because YOU want to get laid and feel entitled to her body cause of a wedding certificate. The one stand plan is perfect.