Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always get separate checks because my friends always drink when I go out with them, but I won't drink and drive, so I almost never drink. Often their drinks alone total at least an extra $30 per person. They don't seem to have a problem with everyone paying their exact share. We all don't have gobs of money to throw around so they understand that it's unfair to make me (or someone else not drinking) pay $30+ extra.

I have a sort of different situation with friends, many of who are college friends from many years ago. I'm 50 now, and 2 - 3 drinks in an social evening is plenty for me. Yet I still have friends who drink like there's no tomorrow. Probably a dozen drinks in an evening, if not more. We have always split the bill evenly, but a recent evening out the bill was substantial. And the guys who are the most adamant about doing it the way we've always done are, you guessed it., the ones who drink the most and the ones who most probably would be happy to have others subsidizing their drinks. I won't stop going to these events, but I may find a way to opt out of the huge bar tab at the end.

I am the OP. I have always been a light drinker. When we go out to dinner with the kids, DH orders a glass of wine or a beer but that is about it. When we go out with friends, there are some people who order bottles of wine. We don't complain even though alcohol often doubles the bill.

I think I wrote it previously but the restaurant we went to had entrees costing $10-20. I think one person ordered a glass of wine so alcohol was not a factor. I ordered the 3 appetizers for the table that everyone shared. This was a situation where the bill should have been split.

Also, the person itemizing the bill has plenty of nice things like designer handbags and jewelry. I don't think paying $3-5 extra so the bill was split evenly would have broken the bank in her household.

Anonymous wrote:I always get separate checks because my friends always drink when I go out with them, but I won't drink and drive, so I almost never drink. Often their drinks alone total at least an extra $30 per person. They don't seem to have a problem with everyone paying their exact share. We all don't have gobs of money to throw around so they understand that it's unfair to make me (or someone else not drinking) pay $30+ extra.

I have a sort of different situation with friends, many of who are college friends from many years ago. I'm 50 now, and 2 - 3 drinks in an social evening is plenty for me. Yet I still have friends who drink like there's no tomorrow. Probably a dozen drinks in an evening, if not more. We have always split the bill evenly, but a recent evening out the bill was substantial. And the guys who are the most adamant about doing it the way we've always done are, you guessed it., the ones who drink the most and the ones who most probably would be happy to have others subsidizing their drinks. I won't stop going to these events, but I may find a way to opt out of the huge bar tab at the end.