Anonymous wrote:Three trips away is not "countless vacations."

Our travel in the past year included:

A summer mountain trip (drove, divided cost of house with several family members, took lots of day trips to scenic locations that could have made it look like a pricey family vacation in photos but it wasn't and husband stayed home and worked).

Kids went to grandparents while DH and I spent a week in Europe. Used miles and upgrades for business class seats, stayed in reasonable hotels.

An all expenses paid beach retreat for the family through work. Half work, half play, pricey resort. Drove, hotel, meals and outings/activities paid by firm. Spent almost nothing, was just 2 days but if we had posted Facebook photos you might assume we were off on yet another expensive jaunt.

Several days over Christmas spent at in-laws' winter house in a balmy location. Lots of semi-exotic photo ops. Lodging free, tickets bought with miles.

Ski trip to Rockies. Reasonable accommodations, found decently priced airline tickets, free lift tickets for kids.

All in all we used about two weeks of work vacation days (some working remotely), maybe 12 days of reasonably priced lodging, and four round trip tickets. If you didn't know this and just saw photos on social media you might think we spend a week a month traveling and pay out the nose for expensive resorts and air travel.

OP -- here ya go.

Anonymous wrote:I am a single parent who makes a lot less than you do, although I feel as though we have enough. We generally fly a couple of times a year. We generally visit the grandparents for one vacation and for the second we split a rental condo with the grandparents somewhere. We do this because my father is in his eighties, and you just never know how long anyone has.

As my child gets older, we'll go farther afield. I do want to mention that there are ways of keeping travel cheap (rentals, eating in or from grocery store deli counters, house sitting, WOW Airlines). I also want to mention that there in DC, where so many jobs require travel, travel skills will be as valuable to your kids professionally as anything they learn in college. For work, I've had to figure out the commuter rail in random European cities on several occasions, and just getting airport transportation in some places can be dicey. The more you practice these skills, the better you will be at quickly figuring them out.

I agree with this. My kids have learned a lot from just the experience of traveling, regardless of place. Both have now travelled internationally on their own and managed to navigate airports, trains, subways, air bnb's, etc. It takes some experience and confidence to do that.

I am a single parent who makes a lot less than you do, although I feel as though we have enough. We generally fly a couple of times a year. We generally visit the grandparents for one vacation and for the second we split a rental condo with the grandparents somewhere. We do this because my father is in his eighties, and you just never know how long anyone has.

As my child gets older, we'll go farther afield. I do want to mention that there are ways of keeping travel cheap (rentals, eating in or from grocery store deli counters, house sitting, WOW Airlines). I also want to mention that there in DC, where so many jobs require travel, travel skills will be as valuable to your kids professionally as anything they learn in college. For work, I've had to figure out the commuter rail in random European cities on several occasions, and just getting airport transportation in some places can be dicey. The more you practice these skills, the better you will be at quickly figuring them out.

00:44. True. We took the same number of vacations when we made a lot less too though, and we weren't being subsidized at all at the time (we used to save for college, but circumstances changed). The only real difference was that we were then taking only 1 flight a year, and now we are generally taking 2 or 3. The flight costs are often offset by very inexpensive lodging/eating costs over a longer stay. So, we may pay $2,000 to get somewhere, but then we will stay for 2.5 weeks at hotels that cost $20/night and eat street food that costs about the same. In the end, our accounts are pretty close to what we would have spent had we stayed in our higher cost of living area and bought groceries and gone out a night or two for dinner. We also camp a lot - that was an investment of about $1,500 for equipment that has lasted 20+ years (tent is under lifetime warranty), and then we spend almost nothing to travel.

We take a lot of vacations on about half your budget. One two week trip, two week long trips and about 10 long weekends a year, on average. We have healthy retirement savings, but we have been maxing out 401ks for almost 20 years now, so we don't feel it. We prioritize travel a lot, as we consider it the most educational and beneficial thing that you can do for your children. Every single trip involves, in addition to the inherent education in the travel, additional family projects and studies related to the trip. Also, on all but the most intensive of trips, we use this time together to shore up other skills by incorporating math, grammar, linguistic, geographic, or other lessons. We look for great deals and stay in some pretty inexpensive places - under $50/night often and almost always under $125/night. We are lucky that college is not a factor for us, as it will be paid for by grandparents (and our mortgage will be paid off regardless so we would be able to help if necessary). My parents also contribute a few thousand a year to help defray travel costs so that we can keep the balance of having jobs that allow the leave and the money to travel. This is the only financial support they have ever given after college, but they too think that travel is extraordinarily important and educational. We rarely travel with family, but the entire family travels way more than is average.

Actually, you don't take a lot of vacations on half of the OP's budget. You have your parents subsidizing you-and paying for your kids' college education which is a huge benefit most people couldn't dream of.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We do max out retirement (59k for me 20k or so for dh), we use public schools, and put away 15k or more for college between the two kids. Even with that, we worry about falling short when it is time to send them off. Last year, the flop vacation was really expensive. It involved car rentals and several hotels. That scared us enough to really trying to do the Grand Canyon this year on a tight budget.

I'm the immediate pp who travels extensively. I have never once had a flop vacation. I have had many that have turned out much differently than planned, on the other hand. These have been some of our best. I think it is all about attitude and expectations.

We take a lot of vacations on about half your budget. One two week trip, two week long trips and about 10 long weekends a year, on average. We have healthy retirement savings, but we have been maxing out 401ks for almost 20 years now, so we don't feel it. We prioritize travel a lot, as we consider it the most educational and beneficial thing that you can do for your children. Every single trip involves, in addition to the inherent education in the travel, additional family projects and studies related to the trip. Also, on all but the most intensive of trips, we use this time together to shore up other skills by incorporating math, grammar, linguistic, geographic, or other lessons. We look for great deals and stay in some pretty inexpensive places - under $50/night often and almost always under $125/night. We are lucky that college is not a factor for us, as it will be paid for by grandparents (and our mortgage will be paid off regardless so we would be able to help if necessary). My parents also contribute a few thousand a year to help defray travel costs so that we can keep the balance of having jobs that allow the leave and the money to travel. This is the only financial support they have ever given after college, but they too think that travel is extraordinarily important and educational. We rarely travel with family, but the entire family travels way more than is average.

As others have said it's about priorities. Some of the people who do expensive vacations now are going to end up telling their kids they have to take out huge loans for college or attend state school because they don't have enough saved up.

Nothing wrong with state school! Overpaying for an undergrad degree is the real financial mistake.

Overpaying for undergrad can be a mistake. But if your STEM focused kid wants to go to MIT and you tell him to go to U. Maryland because you can't pay for it, you may regret having going on so many vacations and not having more options for your child's future.

I grew up poor and never went on a family vacation. I love vacations with my family now as an adult! I am not on FB so I don't post photos for other people to envy. I just love being on vacation to someplace new, fun, interesting, or beautiful. It is always such a great escape from reality. I am not a shopper or a drinker so vacations are my escape.

Anonymous wrote:Were you late in starting to save for college/retirement ? So now you are playing catch up? We both started saving early, maxing 401k contributions in early 20s. Started saving for kids college month we found out we're pregnant. Long steady growth. We make 350k and to 2-3 nice vacations year.

Same poster, we plan to retire at 62 with $5 mil saved.

Were you late in starting to save for college/retirement ? So now you are playing catch up? We both started saving early, maxing 401k contributions in early 20s. Started saving for kids college month we found out we're pregnant. Long steady growth. We make 350k and to 2-3 nice vacations year.

I work in the tourism industry and have meetings in places that are frequently mentioned on the DCUM travel forum. So not only do I rack up FF miles, but I get paid to go where most people vacation, and a lot of time get heavily discounted activities while I am there.

I bring my family with me, and everyone else has a vacation, while I work. Those pictures you see on Facebook were snapped during breaks, or texted to me while I was sitting in a meeting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. FB is full of lies, just ignore it. You can't post your investment portfolio on FB (well, you could but I'm not gonna)

I always think it's funny when people set up a dichotomy with in consumer spending (granite counter tops not Disney, travel not new furniture)

But there is a third option. Don't spend it, save it. We try really hard to save as much as we can. People must think we are barely scraping by, but my husband is going to retire by 45. So I guess that's our status symbol?

But the question was how do people afford vacations. Not how do people retire at 45.

My response was off topic, yes. The point I was trying to make is that people taking vacations three or four times a year are not maximizing their savings. For the super rich, it's all just a drop in the bucket. But for most people, those vacations represent a significant loss of potential savings for the future. But, then someone mentions a friend who died at 40 and no one cares about retirement anymore.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks to the people who reminded me to make the memorable experiences for the kids now.
We will try to get to the Grand Canyon this year, but on a tight budget. That is easy on these outdoor hike walk vacations since the hotel quality matters less. Neither of us flies enough with work to get miles accumulated.
WRT retirement, we could save more, but I was referring to the tax deferred plans that we do.
Our other expenses are low, since we never eat out (we eat healthy stuff and I am not a fan of restaurants), and clothing is negligible since our jobs do not require nice clothes. Only dd has a way of getting us to spend $1000 a year on her stuff.
The people I am referring to on FB are in the same boat as we are or worse. Older parents with two kids. I suspect they will ask their kids to handle college on their own. It is about priorities, their kids will have more fun now, which counts. I am betting on the future, which is only somewhat predictable.

I'm not getting what the issue is and how you have low expenses, rarely eat out on that income and cannot take a vacation or two a year. We make have, still save and are comfortable but our mortgage is also half. You should be able to go on 1-2-3 vacations a year. (and yes, our kid has a college fund, prepaid and regular).