Anonymous wrote:OP here Bottom line, I do not agree with such an expensive gift for a young girl who still babysits and considers a good weekend getting $50-75.00. We give her an allowance but she is more than thrilled with a nice Coach bag, and incidentally I gave her one for her birthday.

it goes against everything my husband and I believe in and up until now we have done a darn good job. I have seen the destruction that takes place when kids get things too much and too soon. We want no part of it for our kids. We have raised three kids all who are straight A students, very accomplished athletes and "good well mannered kids" by all accounts from their teachers to their friends parents.

Even my daughter said she was shocked at being lavished with such a gift. And has decided to return it, get a small crossover LV bag that is a bit more suited to a younger person and will keep the credit for another time. This was her decision which I support. First thing we had her do was write a nice thank you.

My brother did call me last night to say he told his wife that wasn't a good idea as "we don't like giving those kinds of gifts" and he said they actually argued bout it but that she insisted. Getting a whiff of her personality now? We laughed over it in the end and agreed to let it go.

Why do i wear work out clothes? I am a full yoga instructor/personal trainer so it's my job! Hope this settles down a few very would up personalities!

All is good now, still do not approve of what she did but it worked itself out.

Anonymous wrote:My brother (4 years older than me) who is a very successful surgeon who lives on west coast divorced 6 years ago and remarried 2 years ago. I didn't like his wife from the start. She is the opposite of me. VERY type A, super driven,rather hard looking but has moments of attractiveness, super fit (a runner), ambitious to a fault, did not have kids but became a stepmother to my brothers 2 girls. She takes very good care of herself and likes only the best thankfully my B can afford this. To her credit, she is a success in her own right and came with her own hefty bank account.

We are comfortable (my husband is an attorney) I stay at home but do some freelance work from home. My D is 16 and way more fashion forward than I. I am rather simple, as I favor athletic gear on a day to day basis, I am very active and not a super girly girl type mom. Brothers wife is so my D is in awe. My D recently had a sweet 16, we threw her a party, we of course invited my B and his wife and kids but they couldn't come. Now my entire family knows I am dead set against my D having a very expensive bag. I don't mind Coach or Kate Spade, something a few hundred dollars is OK but not a few thousand just on principle alone. I don't buy myself those kinds of bags! My H agrees.

4 days ago we get a huge box delivered from Louis Vuitton. It is a beautiful LV tote for my D from guess who........? Yes my brothers wife, of course it is signed all of them. Looked it up and this bag is around $1800!!! My D was ecstatic and went nuts and I needed a drink to calm myself down. She did this to defy my wishes, she knows my feelings on this as we have discussed it many times. My H was not thrilled but thinks we should let it go. I am not sure how to react. Please for someone who is reading this and is more level headed than I....tell me what to do/not do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here Bottom line, I do not agree with such an expensive gift for a young girl who still babysits and considers a good weekend getting $50-75.00. We give her an allowance but she is more than thrilled with a nice Coach bag, and incidentally I gave her one for her birthday.

it goes against everything my husband and I believe in and up until now we have done a darn good job. I have seen the destruction that takes place when kids get things too much and too soon. We want no part of it for our kids. We have raised three kids all who are straight A students, very accomplished athletes and "good well mannered kids" by all accounts from their teachers to their friends parents.

Even my daughter said she was shocked at being lavished with such a gift. And has decided to return it, get a small crossover LV bag that is a bit more suited to a younger person and will keep the credit for another time. This was her decision which I support. First thing we had her do was write a nice thank you.

My brother did call me last night to say he told his wife that wasn't a good idea as "we don't like giving those kinds of gifts" and he said they actually argued bout it but that she insisted. Getting a whiff of her personality now? We laughed over it in the end and agreed to let it go.

Why do i wear work out clothes? I am a full yoga instructor/personal trainer so it's my job! Hope this settles down a few very would up personalities!

All is good now, still do not approve of what she did but it worked itself out.

You need to reread what you wrote. You seem overly controlling and obsessed with your kids turning out a certain way. I assume your brother only mentioned the gift being too much after you said some passive aggressive comments. No I do t get a whiff of your sister-in-law's personality. I don't understand what your problem is. You realize this isn't the first time your daughter is going to experience something you don't agree with, right?

Why is your brother complaining about his wife to you? Poor behavior.

The bold identifies the real problem. SIL outdid op's gift. LV vs Coach and op is unhinged that she was one-uped.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here Bottom line, I do not agree with such an expensive gift for a young girl who still babysits and considers a good weekend getting $50-75.00. We give her an allowance but she is more than thrilled with a nice Coach bag, and incidentally I gave her one for her birthday.

it goes against everything my husband and I believe in and up until now we have done a darn good job. I have seen the destruction that takes place when kids get things too much and too soon. We want no part of it for our kids. We have raised three kids all who are straight A students, very accomplished athletes and "good well mannered kids" by all accounts from their teachers to their friends parents.

Even my daughter said she was shocked at being lavished with such a gift. And has decided to return it, get a small crossover LV bag that is a bit more suited to a younger person and will keep the credit for another time. This was her decision which I support. First thing we had her do was write a nice thank you.

My brother did call me last night to say he told his wife that wasn't a good idea as "we don't like giving those kinds of gifts" and he said they actually argued bout it but that she insisted. Getting a whiff of her personality now? We laughed over it in the end and agreed to let it go.

Why do i wear work out clothes? I am a full yoga instructor/personal trainer so it's my job! Hope this settles down a few very would up personalities!

Insufferable.

All is good now, still do not approve of what she did but it worked itself out.

Anonymous wrote:OP here Bottom line, I do not agree with such an expensive gift for a young girl who still babysits and considers a good weekend getting $50-75.00. We give her an allowance but she is more than thrilled with a nice Coach bag, and incidentally I gave her one for her birthday.

it goes against everything my husband and I believe in and up until now we have done a darn good job. I have seen the destruction that takes place when kids get things too much and too soon. We want no part of it for our kids. We have raised three kids all who are straight A students, very accomplished athletes and "good well mannered kids" by all accounts from their teachers to their friends parents.

Even my daughter said she was shocked at being lavished with such a gift. And has decided to return it, get a small crossover LV bag that is a bit more suited to a younger person and will keep the credit for another time. This was her decision which I support. First thing we had her do was write a nice thank you.

My brother did call me last night to say he told his wife that wasn't a good idea as "we don't like giving those kinds of gifts" and he said they actually argued bout it but that she insisted. Getting a whiff of her personality now? We laughed over it in the end and agreed to let it go.

Why do i wear work out clothes? I am a full yoga instructor/personal trainer so it's my job! Hope this settles down a few very would up personalities!

Insufferable.

All is good now, still do not approve of what she did but it worked itself out.

Anonymous wrote:Guys-- the purse was $1800. This is just nuts. Sorry, I don't think it's appropriate for a high school student to have a handbag that is the equivalent of a mortgage payment. Even if the SIL had the best of intentions and there wasn't a backstory, I would be embarrassed to accept such an expensive gift for my family.

I think the outcome is fine- daughter decided to exchange and have credit for another day. I would not have bothered to vent to the brother- of course, he will defend his wife and you shouldn't get in the middle of that.

Anonymous wrote:My brother (4 years older than me) who is a very successful surgeon who lives on west coast divorced 6 years ago and remarried 2 years ago. I didn't like his wife from the start. She is the opposite of me. VERY type A, super driven,rather hard looking but has moments of attractiveness, super fit (a runner), ambitious to a fault, did not have kids but became a stepmother to my brothers 2 girls. She takes very good care of herself and likes only the best thankfully my B can afford this. To her credit, she is a success in her own right and came with her own hefty bank account.

We are comfortable (my husband is an attorney) I stay at home but do some freelance work from home. My D is 16 and way more fashion forward than I. I am rather simple, as I favor athletic gear on a day to day basis, I am very active and not a super girly girl type mom. Brothers wife is so my D is in awe. My D recently had a sweet 16, we threw her a party, we of course invited my B and his wife and kids but they couldn't come. Now my entire family knows I am dead set against my D having a very expensive bag. I don't mind Coach or Kate Spade, something a few hundred dollars is OK but not a few thousand just on principle alone. I don't buy myself those kinds of bags! My H agrees.

4 days ago we get a huge box delivered from Louis Vuitton. It is a beautiful LV tote for my D from guess who........? Yes my brothers wife, of course it is signed all of them. Looked it up and this bag is around $1800!!! My D was ecstatic and went nuts and I needed a drink to calm myself down. She did this to defy my wishes, she knows my feelings on this as we have discussed it many times. My H was not thrilled but thinks we should let it go. I am not sure how to react. Please for someone who is reading this and is more level headed than I....tell me what to do/not do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys-- the purse was $1800. This is just nuts. Sorry, I don't think it's appropriate for a high school student to have a handbag that is the equivalent of a mortgage payment. Even if the SIL had the best of intentions and there wasn't a backstory, I would be embarrassed to accept such an expensive gift for my family.

I think the outcome is fine- daughter decided to exchange and have credit for another day. I would not have bothered to vent to the brother- of course, he will defend his wife and you shouldn't get in the middle of that.

So she exchanged it for a $$8-900 bag? How is that any different for a 16 year old? Because it wasn't the one that SIL picked out?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys-- the purse was $1800. This is just nuts. Sorry, I don't think it's appropriate for a high school student to have a handbag that is the equivalent of a mortgage payment. Even if the SIL had the best of intentions and there wasn't a backstory, I would be embarrassed to accept such an expensive gift for my family.

I think the outcome is fine- daughter decided to exchange and have credit for another day. I would not have bothered to vent to the brother- of course, he will defend his wife and you shouldn't get in the middle of that.

So she exchanged it for a $$8-900 bag? How is that any different for a 16 year old? Because it wasn't the one that SIL picked out?

Anonymous wrote:Guys-- the purse was $1800. This is just nuts. Sorry, I don't think it's appropriate for a high school student to have a handbag that is the equivalent of a mortgage payment. Even if the SIL had the best of intentions and there wasn't a backstory, I would be embarrassed to accept such an expensive gift for my family.

I think the outcome is fine- daughter decided to exchange and have credit for another day. I would not have bothered to vent to the brother- of course, he will defend his wife and you shouldn't get in the middle of that.